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Whether you're a line cook, a frontline soldier or a goony IT professional, chances are you occasionally look for ways to break up the monotony of the workplace. Some of the less mature of us turn to pranks. From classic gems like "get me a can of headlight fluid and an ID10T form" to the more unique pranks and long cons, hazing the FNG is a fine pranking tradition, a rite of passage in some industries. Share your stories. I've mostly worked in restaurant environments. I've been on both sides of the line and both ends of some of the classic restaurant pranks. I've been asked to fetch 'bacon stretchers', 'left-handed banana peelers' and 'bags of steam from the other kitchen'. I asked a new busser if he'd please "inventory the bottle caps" but alas he had heard that one before. But the most ingenious newbie hazing I've ever seen involved the coffee machine. You know the type, one of those large commercial drip coffee machines with a hot water spout on the front for tea. Well someone had told our new busboy that at the end of his shift, he was to "empty the hot water" from the coffee machine. The machine is connected to the plumbing. He had filled five or six pitchers of hot water before I had to break it to him. EDIT: Further stories to share: "Oh the things you can Vac-Pack" and "Joel & the Pig Nipples." EDIT: I know there was a thread like this before, but I couldn't find it in some cursory searching. Apologies if it's still around. Mister Speaker has a new favorite as of 21:13 on Apr 15, 2016 |
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Apr 15, 2016 21:00
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 14:49 |
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We used to send the people to the basement for fish gravy. The place didn't have a basement and didn't think fish gravy actually existed. Fish gravy does, in fact, exist but it's one of those "nobody in these parts ever thought of it" things. I learned this one because on my second day I got sent the basement for fish gravy. Nobody really fell for that one; I didn't either. The place very very obviously doesn't have a basement. Though one time I did convince a new guy that the steak actually came in buckets. You see, beef spoils really quickly so you have to process it right. We had special molds we'd put on the grill and pour the steak mix into. But see some people expect bones in their steaks like when you get a t-bone. So the t-bones weren't actually bones but rather plastic. If you find one in the dish room you had to clean it off real good and send it back. Apparently he did actually do that once after I left that day.
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Apr 15, 2016 21:37
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Always loved these kind of new guy hazings and pranks. I've been victim to many and usually turn around and pass it right down the line. Construction: Send guys off for non existing tools, call the tool store before the arrive and have them send them to another location or just gently caress with em. Tools include, left handed hammers, counter clockwise screwdrivers, board stretchers Just have the guy dig a random hole, if he asks it's never deep enough. Candy making: We had access to pure citric acid crystals, for those unfamiliar it looks like fine sugar and is basically flavorless sour warhead coating. New guy leave his soda unattended for a minute? Fill his straw with citric acid. Carmel covered onions Chocolate covered styrofoam peanuts Retail: At a sporting goods store we convinced our new boot guy that whenever a customer asks if a boot was waterproof (every customer asks this) the best way to test and also demonstrate is to take the boot in question get a good seal around the opening with your mouth and huff and puff into the boot like a balloon. He did this for about 2 weeks until one of the store owners saw him and was all  At the same store we had this weird storage closet we called Narnia, it was a normal door but about 12ft off the ground, there was probably some sort of loft and deck before it got turned into 20' celings, you needed a ladder to get up. New guy getting some seasonal bullshit? Take his ladder. Our warehouse had a basement with no windows and was basically a maze of coat racks and tight aisles of boxes, turn the lights off when someones down there and it's darker than a coffin and unless they work warehouse they don't really know the layout.
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Apr 15, 2016 22:19
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My first job was working at a Sonic Drive-In in the middle of Nowhere, Kansas. (Yeah, over by Courage's place.) Anyway, this was during the late 90's - early 2000's, and there was this "long-standing" tradition that the first night the FNG worked without the owner there, you had to grab a pickle out of the deep fryer with your hands. Basically, you would dip your hand in the goop and crumbs they batter their onion rings in and fish out the pickle as quick as you could. I apparently set a record. The reason I set a record is because this "long-standing" tradition I had been told of had only recently been dreamed up by the head cook about 10 minutes before shift start. Didn't get burned though! 
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Apr 15, 2016 22:39
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The release knob on the inside of the freezer was broken and I was locked inside with a cheesecake and a fork. 
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Apr 16, 2016 03:19
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TheDon01 posted:Construction: 
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Apr 16, 2016 05:38
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cash crab posted:The release knob on the inside of the freezer was broken and I was locked inside with a cheesecake and a fork. Was the cheesecake frozen or were you able to eat it with the fork? For pranks: - tape or part of post it note covering someone's computer mouse sensor - rearrange keys (just a few to be subtle) on someone's keyboard - screenshot the desktop, move all the icons off screen, make screenshot desktop image
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Apr 16, 2016 05:41
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TheDon01 posted:We had access to pure citric acid crystals, for those unfamiliar it looks like fine sugar and is basically flavorless sour warhead coating. Ah yes, anhydrous citric acid. We have this somewhere too; a co-worker of mine who lives in a frathouse took some home to prank his brothers. Joel vs. the Pig Nipples We used to serve slider sandwiches. One of the sliders was this (totally loving delicious) banh-mi pork belly on ciabatta. The pork still had the crunchy skin on it, it was... I'm salivating thinking about it. Anyway, of course the raw pork belly came to us from the butchers with hair and nipples still attached. Poor Joel could not deal with the nipples. He had to leave the kitchen while I cut them out of the skin. We hid the nipples in all sorts of creative places around Joel's workspace and he would lose his mind every time. I once put them at the bottom of a deli container of noodles and when he saw them he kicked it across the kitchen and went for a smoke break. When he quit, I vac-packed the nipples and gave them to him. I wanted to frame them but I didn't have time.
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Apr 16, 2016 06:23
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I have a few. All computer related. -If someone spends a lot of time on some site like facebook, or some dumb site and you're sick of them doing that, edit the host files on their computer to redirect to something like the company page or something. Better yet, do it in Linux so that there is zero history of what took place. Most people will not know how to fix this and it takes a special breed of slacker to question IT as to what happened. -Close everything on the desktop. Screencap it like that. Set that screencap as the background. Hide all icons and move the toolbar to the top and then autohide it. Have fun watching them try to click the icons and start menu, assume it's frozen, restart their computer. And again. -Use scheduled tasks to make some weird sound play at intervals of something like 53 minutes or 107 minutes. The sound clip shouldn't be more than a few seconds. Make sure that the task is killed shortly after occurring and that the program doesn't pop up otherwise it will obvious as to what's causing it. VLC player works well btw. Because it's not on the hour, it will seem random when it happens and this is guaranteed to drive someone bats.
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Apr 16, 2016 18:25
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I used to work in a shop that sold cards and gift wrapping goods, and one time my coworkers wrapped my jacket up in Christmas wrapping paper and left it under the staff tree. They only told me when I was about to leave in the pouring rain with no jacket or umbrella.
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Apr 18, 2016 15:30
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Trojan.exe posted:... Fun fact: XP let you use animated gifs for wallpaper, and it'd actually animate. I replaced my college roommate's wallpaper with furry porn, did the screenshot trick, then photoshopped in the Bonzi Buddy installer, complete with animated progress bar. Then I left for the weekend without locking my computer.  There was no counter prank because "I figured there was no chance your machine would be unlocked." 
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Apr 18, 2016 17:33
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Working on a drop tower ride at a theme park, we would tell new hires checking the restraints that seat 13 wasn't locked properly, when the ride seated 12. Some people would circle the ride for a solid minute looking for seat 13.
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Apr 18, 2016 19:14
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Construction site prank: New guy left his workboots in the back of the van overnight. Bad move. Take fresh egg. Insert fresh egg into toe of boot. Wait. Extra comedy? Use a rotten egg.
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Apr 19, 2016 21:41
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Working in a kitchen, if there was ever any going-off food, we'd be pranking with it. I once got the sous-chef by placing some stinky sea bass between two pieces of cling film, and making it flatter with a rolling pin. He'd gone away for four days, but had left his new shoes in the changing room. Insoles came out, fish went in, insoles were replaced. By the time he came back they were loving stinking and it took him a good day before he realised where the stench was coming from.
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Apr 23, 2016 17:19
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de la peche posted:Working in a kitchen, if there was ever any going-off food, we'd be pranking with it. I once got the sous-chef by placing some stinky sea bass between two pieces of cling film, and making it flatter with a rolling pin. He'd gone away for four days, but had left his new shoes in the changing room. Insoles came out, fish went in, insoles were replaced. By the time he came back they were loving stinking and it took him a good day before he realised where the stench was coming from. Did you at least buy the guy a new pair of shoes?
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Apr 23, 2016 17:23
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MSP I worked at was very strict on security, if you left your workstation unlocked while you went to grab a coffee/soda/bathroom break/ask a question/whatever, it was encouraged for the other technicians to swoop in and change your background to one of a handful of My Little Pony fanarts from the network drive. If you were gone long enough that somebody could do it, you were gone for too long with an unsecure computer.
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Apr 23, 2016 20:49
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Elim Garak posted:Did you at least buy the guy a new pair of shoes? gently caress that, prior to this he'd put my mobile phone number up on an advert on a Polish website, similar to Craigslist, advertising a flat in London at a ridiculously cheap price. My phone rang almost non-stop for about a month.
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Apr 23, 2016 22:26
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When I used to work for a contractor they had a pretty great prank involving cement. They'd get 2 or 3 new guys and make them hold a bag of cement mix above their heads. They told them it was a contest to see who could hold the cement bag the up the longest, but after a minute someone would sneak up behind the new guys and slit the concrete bag open in the middle, pouring the mix all over the person holding the bag. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pOpdLMDOKyU
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Apr 23, 2016 22:50
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Your Gay Uncle posted:When I used to work for a contractor they had a pretty great prank involving cement. They'd get 2 or 3 new guys and make them hold a bag of cement mix above their heads. They told them it was a contest to see who could hold the cement bag the up the longest, but after a minute someone would sneak up behind the new guys and slit the concrete bag open in the middle, pouring the mix all over the person holding the bag. Downright hilarious
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Apr 23, 2016 23:27
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My first job was McDonalds. It was the usual poo poo but there was one new manager who liked his status a little too much. He'd sit in the back office as long as he could and order employees passing by to bring him an XL Diet Coke. Too bad if you were doing something else, it could wait, he needed a loving drink! So one night I saw the back booth (the order taker and money taker) person in drive-thru ordered to leave the window and fetch said rear end in a top hat manager a drink. Dude went up to the drive-thru drink station and got the cup...and then walked back to the grill, where the grill guys helped him shoot a dose of every sauce they had on hand in the bottom of the cup. Cup goes up front, gets filled with Diet Coke, and guy brings the drink and straw back to the manager. Manager was pissed the straw wasn't in the cup already, jammed it in to the bottom, and sucked up a mouthful of Big Mac, tartar, and other sauces. He never ordered people to bring his drinks again. That was the only time I ever saw anyone gently caress with the food.
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Apr 24, 2016 05:24
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CausticQuandry posted:I am a chemical technician specialized in electroplating. I keep smelling almonds. My first thought was that somehow potassium cyanide was mixed with hydrochloric acid but, asI am not dead yet, I'm guessing that is not it. CausticQuandry posted:Update- They found the source of the smell. A second shift tech thought it would be a great April Fools prank to put almond extract on the steam lines to my plating tanks. He is of course fired. I have been commended by our safety director and our CEO.
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Apr 24, 2016 09:26
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Similar to "never leave your computer unlocked": When I worked as a photojournalist, we were encouraged to keep our cameras on our person at all times, because you never know when something newsworthy might happen. This was enforced -- whenever one of the photographer went out for a smoke break or lunch or whatever and left their camera on the desk, one of the other photogs (certain reporters and copyeditors also got in on it when there wasn't another shooter around to do it) would change the menu language on the abandoned camera to Japanese or Russian, then put it back on the desk exactly as it had been. Sometimes the victim didn't notice until they got to their next assignment. Most of us either learned our lesson (or at least learned to navigate the menus by feel to change it back) fairly quickly.
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Apr 24, 2016 10:59
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Bad Angus! Bad!
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I like to take anti seize grease and put it on the fork trucks our packaging and warehouse guys are using. The trick is putting it where they won't see it like the handle on the back of the truck for when they're driving in reverse or the underside of the levers. Another trick is to turn off the LP tank and grease the valve so when they go to turn it back on it gets them. We try to get creative with door handles, phone chargers and clip boards so no one knows when they're gonna get greased.
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Apr 24, 2016 12:36
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