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So, Ben Lesnick, the developer working on Star Citizen (and it's public face) tweeted the link to his personal website the other day. https://twitter.com/banditloaf/status/721130582361505793 At first, goons were like: "Ha ha, some funny food quotes for a fat dude." From the Journal of Ben Lesnick: quote:A new H&R Block opened downstairs and they dropped a box of Dunkin Donuts donut holes off at my desk to advertise. I'm slowly eating them all. They have an odd taste... a brown powdered sugar on the outside, but with an unusual level of crunch when you bite into them. But then people started looking at the other jokes on his website:   Literally HUNDREDS of images of this woman.   quote:-Anyway, it turns out my mom taped the news for me while I was away, so I have like a week of Kerri-Lee to go through... #13,502 Needless to say many goons thought it was hilarious and we pressed on. "There's always more. It's always worse." The website contained a detailed list of what Ben says are his funny jokes, that are "still pretty funny". Literally thousands of Ben's sayings. Here's a SMALL taste: quote:I want to bang Misty. #17,033 This is Misty.  She's 9 quote:And they get to have sex with thirteen year olds all the time. Instead of once or twice a month. #21,244 But wait! There's more! quote:Poor Old friend of the family Thinks It's A Cadillac. #17,627 And it goes on, always more, always worse. We Star Citizen goons didn't think we should have all the fun of reading these hilarious jokes. You can find your own here: http://trelane.hamtwoslices.net/index.php?query=lowtax Just replace the search word "LOWTAX" with any word you like and you will get numerous hilarious jokes written by our very own Ben Lesnick. Please post the best ones you can find! P.S. Here's pic Ben gave us!  *edit* I was reminded to add that he was working for a school system during this time. **edit** Ben made a statement about his website: http://banditloaf.livejournal.com/105991.html Because you know we all went through a racist pedophile stage in our mid-20's. ***Edit*** Uh oh. Ben is erasing stuff from his website! Good thing his stalker stuff was saved here: http://web.archive.org/web/20150314145920/http://www.hamtwoslices.net/kerri-lee/ ****Edit**** Some good goon actually checked out some of what Ben said in his statement and found it to be false.  *****Edit***** Ben's "jokes" saved here: https://gist.github.com/anonymous/4acb72f26cad04a030ceeae5fc9e219e ******Edit****** Good posts: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3772600&pagenumber=8&perpage=40#post458831324 http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3772600&pagenumber=12&perpage=40#post458839561 http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3772600&pagenumber=13#post458840292 http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3748466&pagenumber=3378&perpage=40#post458849394 spacetoaster fucked around with this message at 15:26 on Apr 18, 2016 |
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Apr 17, 2016 19:06
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where can i invest in this joke site
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Apr 17, 2016 19:08
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just gonna leave these here  credit to EminusSleepus
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Apr 17, 2016 19:10
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This looks like standard gbs poster level humor to me. Is it funny because he's the star citizen guy??
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Apr 17, 2016 19:11
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Homer J. Fong posted:where can i invest in this joke site I'm not sure. But I made this for that poor news lady: 
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Apr 17, 2016 19:11
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you might even say this is a comedy.... goldmine
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Apr 17, 2016 19:12
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a hole-y ghost posted:This looks like standard gbs poster level humor to me. Is it funny because he's the star citizen guy?? Someone get this guy a SA account.
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Apr 17, 2016 19:12
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Mega64 posted:Someone get this guy a SA account. http://forums.somethingawful.com/member.php?action=getinfo&userid=51766
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Apr 17, 2016 19:14
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http://trelane.hamtwoslices.net/index.php?query=vietnam http://trelane.hamtwoslices.net/index.php?query=minorities http://trelane.hamtwoslices.net/index.php?query=hitler http://trelane.hamtwoslices.net/index.php?query=nigga http://trelane.hamtwoslices.net/index.php?query=jewed http://trelane.hamtwoslices.net/index.php?query=jews <Trelane> Sometimes I envy the Japanese. Like, I bet their Ramen is much better than the crappy Ramen we have here. Also, the radiation from Nagasaki and Hiroshima will one day result in the creation of Nipponese Supermen <LOAF> And they get to have sex with thirteen year olds all the time. Instead of once or twice a month. #21,244 Legions of children worldwide are having sex with 40 year old men. #14,178 You know what I don't get? People who keep complaining that we're killing Iraqi children. These people have clearly never met a foreigner before. #21,156 The shuttle blowing up is the saddest thing ever. Way sadder than the world trade center. The world trade center was full of jerks, whereas the shuttle was full of astronauts. #19,792 Japan invented getting a nuclear bomb dropped on themselves. #20,86 Wait, out of 150 people dead none of them were Americans? That's the worst terrorist attack ever. You'd have to be the unluckiest terrorist in the universe to demolish an entire city block and not kill any Americans. #19,21 
Dark Off fucked around with this message at 19:16 on Apr 17, 2016 |
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Apr 17, 2016 19:14
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a hole-y ghost posted:This looks like standard gbs poster level humor to me. Is it funny because he's the star citizen guy?? I personally think it's funny because he's the public face of a 100 million dollar company and didn't erase the website immediately.  Do a search, show us what you find.
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Apr 17, 2016 19:15
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a hole-y ghost posted:This looks like standard gbs poster level humor to me. Is it funny because he's the star citizen guy?? A bit moreso since he's been the original community management lead of Star Citizen since the start. And considering he linked this poo poo on his official twitter feed and on the official forums.
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Apr 17, 2016 19:15
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insanely sick coat makes him look like a leather version of grimace
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Apr 17, 2016 19:15
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LOL 
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Apr 17, 2016 19:16
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I thought Star Citizen itself was the jokes
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Apr 17, 2016 19:17
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a hole-y ghost posted:This looks like standard gbs poster level humor to me. Is it funny because he's the star citizen guy?? to be fair, yeah, but some things are a little telling about the sense of humor like making sexual jokes about his 10 year old little sister like finding a sign warning against pickpocketing and moving a sign for black history memobilia by it and taking a picture like talking about following women around in a museum because he thought they might be the reporter he jacks it to
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Apr 17, 2016 19:18
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Jon Do posted:to be fair, yeah, but some things are a little telling about the sense of humor
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Apr 17, 2016 19:19
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His best jokes are about cancer I ended up going to class last night. Which was okayer than I thought. Because my teacher announced she has cancer and is cancelling every class after next week. Sometimes luck just goes my way. #21,083 and kids You know what I hate? When some kid dies in a car accident people make a little pile of flowers and crap along the road. #20,330 and random shootings Random sniping is actually pretty great... it's like a big snow day, except stores stay open. There's like nobody at the mall and stuff. And there's probably less of a risk of dying than if you drive around when it's all icy. #19,088
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Apr 17, 2016 19:21
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Nostalgia4Dicks posted:I thought Star Citizen itself was the jokes It's all a joke, brother.   
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Apr 17, 2016 19:21
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So has he murdered that newslady yet?
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Apr 17, 2016 19:22
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Wowbagger2004 posted:So has he murdered that newslady yet? work in progress two weeks
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Apr 17, 2016 19:23
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Wowbagger2004 posted:So has he murdered that newslady yet? Well..... He made her a memorial. But maybe that's just planning ahead?
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Apr 17, 2016 19:24
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British Marines find cache of grenades stored at Umm Qasr school. Why were they searching a school, anyway? Also, buckets full of grenades are probably standard fare at muslim schools. #21,071 Moldovan women, usually, do not shake hands and, in either a business or a social setting, a nod of the head is acceptable when greeting or meeting a woman, or women. It is estimated that 40% of the adult women of Moldova (a former Soviet republic) have sold sex at least once. #21,837 Chris got yelled at by this little old woman for takign pictures, but I'm pretty sure he could have taken her in a fight... #12,997 http://hamtwoslices.net/trelane/index.php?query=rape If selling heroin to minors is a crime, then I guess you'd better lock me up. #18,808
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Apr 17, 2016 19:24
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i have no idea why i should care about this come talk to me when he eats her
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Apr 17, 2016 19:24
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breaking newsBMan posted:Someone asked for a Ben Lesnick bot the other day. Well here it is... 
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Apr 17, 2016 19:24
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spacetoaster posted:It's all a joke, brother.
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Apr 17, 2016 19:24
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SelenicMartian posted:His best jokes are about cancer 
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Apr 17, 2016 19:25
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Dark Off posted:British Marines find cache of grenades stored at Umm Qasr school. Why were they searching a school, anyway? Also, buckets full of grenades are probably standard fare at muslim schools. #21,071 
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Apr 17, 2016 19:25
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SelenicMartian posted:You really need to add to the OP that he worked at a school for 5 years and some of his quotes are from that time. I also didn't see on skimming the factoid that they're trying to brush it off as "when he was young" when he was in his mid to late 20s e: one of his damage control attempts http://banditloaf.livejournal.com/105991.html
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Apr 17, 2016 19:25
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Hell Yeah posted:insanely sick coat makes him look like a leather version of grimace 
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Apr 17, 2016 19:26
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Jon Do posted:just gonna leave these here i never bought into reincarnation until I saw summer glau in this exact same picture with the exact same forced smile and slight variations on thousands of fat disgusting nerds, over and over again, forever she must have been hitler in another life or something, nobody deserves that
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Apr 17, 2016 19:30
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 thanku commando melkor
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Apr 17, 2016 19:32
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also hes fat lmao
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Apr 17, 2016 19:36
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Pelican Dunderhead posted:
jfc why would you record yourself being too fat and worthless to get off a loving couch guys im beginning to think this man may not be an upstanding example of humanity because he can barely loving stand up at all
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Apr 17, 2016 19:38
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Jon Do posted:just gonna leave these here Two by two, hands of Cheetos (She should run now) Ryoshi posted:i never bought into reincarnation until I saw summer glau in this exact same picture with the exact same forced smile and slight variations on thousands of fat disgusting nerds, over and over again, forever I worked a booth at E3 once and one of the "booth babes" was out and they had to replace her with a serious model who was doing it as a favor, who thought "Oh this can't be much different than a photoshoot can it?" Holy poo poo it was both tragically sad and hilarious to watch her reaction as drunk E3 goers (many international that didn't really speak English) kept wanting pictures taken and got their sweaty rear end shirts all over her (and more than a few had to be moved along for getting grabby). Pretty sure by the end she would never do another trade show again. Blazing Ownager fucked around with this message at 19:42 on Apr 17, 2016 |
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Apr 17, 2016 19:39
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can i sign a petition to get this man fired
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Apr 17, 2016 19:40
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Don't forget the tattoo he's got the other day! It's a prison tattoo from some WC movie.
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Apr 17, 2016 19:41
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Parallax Scroll posted:also hes fat lmao I did feel bad for the guy. I mean, his boss IS trying to kill him:   But after reading his "jokes" perhaps there's a reason she's doing it.
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Apr 17, 2016 19:41
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this man is so very, very fat
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Apr 17, 2016 19:45
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Ratjaculation posted:this man is so very, very fat That's probably good for the children, and news ladies, of the world. 
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Apr 17, 2016 19:47
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Dark Off posted:http://trelane.hamtwoslices.net/index.php?query=vietnam As bad as this guy's posts are, I can't help but feel he's 50% and 50% Awkward GBS edgy, but that might because I never watched a video with him or know any context around.I mean I'm having a hard time telling this terrible website apart with 80% of the posts in lawless GBS Also.. when I saw that newscaster shrine.. I figured the lady was dead. So maybe I have this backwards. 50% of GBS is
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Apr 17, 2016 19:48
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