quote:

A new H&R Block opened downstairs and they dropped a box of Dunkin Donuts donut holes off at my desk to advertise. I'm slowly eating them all. They have an odd taste... a brown powdered sugar on the outside, but with an unusual level of crunch when you bite into them.

I'm going to try walking to the grocery store at lunch; what treasures will I find? What mysteries will I unlock? Maybe a new kind of Oreo?

They have invented a new kind of Snickers that has caffeine in it. I recently tried the Mint Three Muskateers and wass *immensely* disappointed. Way to spring dark chocolate on me, jerks.

I'm going to get a weekend where I can just sit in my chair with a bottle of Scotch and some M&Ms for two days.

They sell giant chipwhiches across the street and they're incredibly expensive.

It's Valentine's Day at work and there's candy and cupcakes and stuff everywhere. Free food is one of the great benefits of working for a school system

quote:

-Anyway, it turns out my mom taped the news for me while I was away, so I have like a week of Kerri-Lee to go through... #13,502

-Oh, I followed several women who looked sort of like Kerri-Lee around the science museum, but none of them turned out to be her:~( #13,846

-And with my position as Kerri-Lee of the CIC, cool knife AND uniform, I'll be the cult leader! #14,539

-As in "Over the Kerri-lee for the traffic, she's got great breasts.." #15,608

-What good is the world when I've no Kerri-Lee:~(? Of course, if I took over the world, I could have all the Kerri-Lee I wanted. The world it is, then, chaps. #17,284

-Wow, Kerri-Lee at the hardware store. I'd like to ware her... hard #19,478

-I have two pictures in frames on my desk at work: a picture of a spotted stingray marked 'Cat' and a printed glossy picture of Kerri-Lee. #20,382

<Byydo> some guys try to un-circumsize themselves by hanging weights from their penis
<LOAF> !Kerri-Lee
<LOAF> The concept of something hanging from my penis reminded me. #21,608

quote:

I want to bang Misty. #17,033

I want to catch all the Pokemon fish, so Misty will notice me. "Oh, my", she'll say, "your Waillord is so big." Then, with the help of the glass-making guy, I'll give her my pink rod. #21,635

quote:

And they get to have sex with thirteen year olds all the time. Instead of once or twice a month. #21,244

Why don't you come with me, little girl, on a magic carpet ride? #18,734

Wow, Hades, do you try to pursue homosexual relations with children age 8-13 too? #7,673

Children have nudity... #9,621

Legions of children worldwide are having sex with 40 year old men. #14,178

It's funny, oh, you need the e-mail he sent me when I revealed that he posted to alt.sex.children #14,747

On the same day he posted a message to alt.sex.children commenting that a previously posted story "got me hotter than hell, post some more man!!!" #14,726

quote:

Poor Old friend of the family Thinks It's A Cadillac. #17,627

I would have been back earlier, but I got jewed in CounterStrike, friend of the family. #21,860

I had a dream that I was giving a speech in speech class and I ended up saying something really racist, and then to cover for it I claimed it was because I secretly wished I was black. I really shouldn't do any public speaking ever. #21,601

A black guy who can't find crack? I think not. #21,603

I don't hate anyone. Except those gull durned black people. #13,857

You know what they don't have here in college? Black people. #18,464

There are absolutely no black people here. #18,465

And you call black people cute names like dawg. Well, not as cute as that, generally more very very offensive. #19,678

Homer J. Fong posted:

where can i invest in this joke site

a hole-y ghost posted:

This looks like standard gbs poster level humor to me. Is it funny because he's the star citizen guy??

Variable 5 posted:

http://forums.somethingawful.com/member.php?action=getinfo&userid=51766

Nostalgia4Dicks posted:

I thought Star Citizen itself was the jokes

Wowbagger2004 posted:

So has he murdered that newslady yet?

Dark Off posted:

British Marines find cache of grenades stored at Umm Qasr school. Why were they searching a school, anyway? Also, buckets full of grenades are probably standard fare at muslim schools. #21,071

Parallax Scroll posted:

also hes fat lmao

Ratjaculation posted:

this man is so very, very fat

Farmer Crack-rear end posted:

isn't a memorial something you make for dead people?!

a hole-y ghost posted:

is that true? why isn't he banned yet?

Blazing Ownager posted:

You know the real cherry on this thread? What makes it absolutely perfect?

This wasn't a doxing, or a hack, or some smear campaign. The idiot posted this on his twitter proudly. I mean Goddamn, when he found it was still up he should have trashed the site and pretended this poo poo never happened.

a hole-y ghost posted:

is that true? why isn't he banned yet?

Scruffpuff posted:

CIG has a number of accounts here, all registered in the past few months, that they rotate among certain staff members for monitoring purposes. Whenever something really bad gets uncovered here, CIG determines whether or not to burn one of those accounts to attempt to derail the thread. Most things, like DonutGate, are handled internally (editing the video, tossing in a backhanded reference on the next stream, etc.) Some things, like Ben-Ghazi, in their minds require a derail. The rules about what is and is not allowed to be posted are very specific.

Allowed: personal attacks on Derek Smart, general proclamations against CIG approved for purposes of "fitting in" i.e. "SC is a scam, there are problems with management, I don't like space games, I wouldn't give them a dime" etc.
Disallowed: personal attacks on Chris or Sandi, focus on specific acts of mismanagement by CIG (fraudulent refund denials, closing accounts with a $15 extortion fee)

They don't like to burn the accounts because the newly registered ones will have a more recent date, and lose some credibility during a derail. Posts have to be approved, and so on. It's a bit of a pain in the rear end, so you can see just how seriously they take it that they chose to burn one on this topic. Ben was always an embarrassment to CIG, but this takes it to a whole new level.

Saga posted:

Op, I'm not sure grown rear end men who spend thousands of dollars on non-existent pretend space ships can legitimately feel superior to this person, creepy racist pedo or not.

a hole-y ghost posted:

Hmm.. Account sharing is against the rules.

kikkelivelho posted:

To be honest these do look kinda bad at least without knowing the context in which they were made. It's a tough decision but RSI and Chris will probably have to let Ben go because of this, doing otherwise may cause damage to the image of Star Citizen and to it's development.

Colonel Cancer posted:

GBS caring about these tepid jokes, lol. You do realize that the mainstream reaction of a site that proudly posts 9/11 jokes on main page among other things would be 100% the same, right?

Ryoshi posted:

someone help me out here who the gently caress is cig and how are they related to sc, I thought it was all from chris rogers games or whatever the gently caress

Mange Mite posted:

Actually pretending to be a rapist pedophile is one of the few ways you can get banned here. Either that or they make you a mod

a hole-y ghost posted:

He can't run. Immersion shattered.

Ryoshi posted:

he can't really have a framed picture of her can he

that's gotta be shopped

fakedit: im the children's airplane curtains

Farmer Crack-rear end posted:

i guarantee that dude jacks off thinking about her

Renegret posted:

I thought you were joking at first

I don't know what to believe anymore.

I need an adult.

Enfield posted:

why is this stickied

Enfield posted:

oh

quote:

GOD DAMNED LOWTAX WONT POST MY loving REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! loving HOTLINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #18,789

quote:

We idolized Something Awful and that whole burgeoning internet humor culture, pretended we were Lowtax (without the audience!)

Nude posted:

I wonder what he is hiding under the bedsheets.

Ryoshi posted:

there's no way they're serious is there?

quote:

The Kerri-Lee Hackett photos were a running gag in 1999. I was a senior in high school and met her when she showed up to interview folks about a school shooting scare. I went home and dreamily told all my internet buddies I was in love and they teased me forever. One of them wrote a script for my ATI All-in-Wonder TV card that’d grab her picture during the traffic report and add it to a gallery. I recall it didn’t last too long, as she moved to another station around when I graduated. (I met her again in line for Phantom Menace and actually talked about this, which I’m sure was super creepy for her! If you can find this video, it me be the worst thing you can see me do.) I am going to kill that now—not because I don’t want people to know it existed (Ben liked GIRLS?!), but because she’s certainly a real person who doesn’t need old TV news photos spread around the internet. If you’re out there, Ms, Hackett, I’m sorry I was a weirdo! (I am still a weirdo, but I have a bit more respect for other people now!)

Homer J. Fong posted:

I think I had that ATI All-in-Wonder TV card too

Parallax Scroll posted:

is the news lady safe

quote:

It's not wrong to encourage murder if it means you can meet a woman, right? #14,347

quote:

I like women who I can transfer my conscious into via a painfull and cool looking energy suck thing... #1,291

Jobbo_Fett posted:

Decebal posted:

That can't be real. come on now

Ryoshi posted:

man when I was a teenager I was doing sick kickflips on a skate board and kissing girls instead of stalking news anchors and eating 7000 calories a day

kikkelivelho posted:

You should probably wait until at least monday before doing anything too rash. We'll probably hear RSI's side of the story then.

AAB posted:

if only there was a process commonly used by business to review peoples background or a way to search their aliases across the world wide web

a hole-y ghost posted:

My Framed Lady

kikkelivelho posted:

I admit this looks bad but one persons mistakes shouldn't reflect poorly on the entire 300 person company.