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I am the social media guy. I sit in an office and you are not certain what I do. Sometimes I speak, enthusiastically, at meetings, about Twitter. There is no light in my eyes. There is no life in my eyes. I am the social media guy. I am 25. I look 35. I am tired. So tired. I am the social media guy. I know my job is fake. You know my job is fake. My bosses know my job is fake. Why don't they fire me? Why am I here? Nothing I do is quantifiable. It is superstition. I am the social media guy. A totem, an offering to new media by desperate men. My purpose is abstract. You never see me do anything. I am always on my phone. Is it my job? I am the social media guy. One day, I will be gone. Nothing will change.
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Apr 22, 2016 01:35
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im gay edit: whoa, thats new
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Apr 22, 2016 01:36
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Thank you for your service!
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Apr 22, 2016 01:38
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i guess you could say im the "face" of mellow mushroom pizza, but like, on the onternet
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Apr 22, 2016 01:40
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I dated a girl whose entire career was being social media girl for failing startups that make smartphone apps? Apparently that's an actual job you can have? I HAD SEX,
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Apr 22, 2016 01:41
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I work for the federal govt. and our "social media guy" is a dude in his 50s who tells you horror stories about sharing too much info on the internet.
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Apr 22, 2016 01:41
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I think you're like, supposed to show some initiative or something. 
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Apr 22, 2016 01:43
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I work in digital marketing and i do social media for a bunch of companies, I just automate it all while i do my actual job i don't think you need a social media guy who just does social media
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Apr 22, 2016 01:43
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WAMPA_STOMPA posted:im gay
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Apr 22, 2016 01:44
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sounds like the perfect George Costanza-ish gig You'll miss it 10 years from now when you're pulling double-shifts down at the buttplug factory
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Apr 22, 2016 01:44
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Near my work they are building a office building for a social media company that does social media for other companies. Holy Moly, mom said surfing on myspace was a waste of time, now I can prove her wrong!
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Apr 22, 2016 01:44
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AugmentedVision posted:I dated a girl whose entire career was being social media girl for failing startups that make smartphone apps? Apparently that's an actual job you can have? I HAD SEX, I assume the gentleman had a name?
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Apr 22, 2016 01:44
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https://twitter.com/HIDEO_KOJIMA_IT/status/705668966207889408
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Apr 22, 2016 01:45
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Ork of Fiction posted:I assume the gentleman had a name? the gentleman was you're mom
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Apr 22, 2016 01:46
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I went hi school with this guy who was a total nerd and he would bring his video game console with him sometimes to school of dance to play halo and he was a huge dweeb. Now he is married to an attractive woman and he makes a lot of money working for Facebook. He's like the biggest social media guy that I know
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Apr 22, 2016 01:47
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I'm going to send u a text blast, STRAIGHT FROM MY HEART! FUCKER!!!
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Apr 22, 2016 01:48
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I don't have to "friend" this fuckstick, do I?
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Apr 22, 2016 01:54
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Are you really the social media guy?
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Apr 22, 2016 01:57
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so are you a Mod or something? can u pls sticky my Funny Seinfeld Faces thread? thanks
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Apr 22, 2016 02:08
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I saw a tweet today from Kermit the Frog in memoriam of Prince. Which begs the question. how do I become Kermit the Frog's social media manager?
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Apr 22, 2016 03:15
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Apr 22, 2016 03:18
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FactsAreUseless posted:I am the social media guy. I sit in an office and you are not certain what I do. Sometimes I speak, enthusiastically, at meetings, about Twitter. There is no light in my eyes. There is no life in my eyes. I am the social media guy. I am 25. I look 35. I am tired. So tired. I am the social media guy. I know my job is fake. You know my job is fake. My bosses know my job is fake. Why don't they fire me? Why am I here? Nothing I do is quantifiable. It is superstition. I am the social media guy. A totem, an offering to new media by desperate men. My purpose is abstract. You never see me do anything. I am always on my phone. Is it my job? I am the social media guy. One day, I will be gone. Nothing will change. i look down on everyone with this job yet i would take it in a second if i could get it seems like you have to be in a city for companies to be big enough to actually pay someone to do this instead of just throw it as an annoying 20 cent raise responsibility to the bosses daughter
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Apr 22, 2016 04:11
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BossRighteous posted:I saw a tweet today from Kermit the Frog in memoriam of Prince. Put your hand inside him and he'll let you do whatever you want.
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Apr 22, 2016 04:13
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https://twitter.com/ChesterCheetah/status/689943140015308800
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Apr 22, 2016 04:14
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Same person in a tiny toilet cubicle, shittin' the day away.
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Apr 22, 2016 04:17
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im the guy with no irreplaceable skills. jokes on you i didnt want to work here anyway, or indeed, at all.
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Apr 22, 2016 05:49
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people who don't understand 21st century industry, but have a 20th century entrepreneurial spirit will hire me and not know why
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Apr 22, 2016 05:51
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FactsAreUseless posted:I am the social media guy. I sit in an office and you are not certain what I do. Sometimes I speak, enthusiastically, at meetings, about Twitter. There is no light in my eyes. There is no life in my eyes. I am the social media guy. I am 25. I look 35. I am tired. So tired. I am the social media guy. I know my job is fake. You know my job is fake. My bosses know my job is fake. Why don't they fire me? Why am I here? Nothing I do is quantifiable. It is superstition. I am the social media guy. A totem, an offering to new media by desperate men. My purpose is abstract. You never see me do anything. I am always on my phone. Is it my job? I am the social media guy. One day, I will be gone. Nothing will change. I'm the guy who tweets sexual images of your company's logo figure to your company account and no matter how many times you block me I keep making new twitters doing it.
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Apr 22, 2016 05:53
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You should accidentally retweet a photo of a chick sticking a toy plane in her hoohah from United's official twitter account
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Apr 22, 2016 05:53
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goatse.cx haver posted:im the guy with no irreplaceable skills. most people in offices seem like they have no irreplaceable skills tbh
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Apr 22, 2016 07:49
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FactsAreUseless posted:I am the social media guy. I sit in an office and you are not certain what I do. Sometimes I speak, enthusiastically, at meetings, about Twitter. There is no light in my eyes. There is no life in my eyes. I am the social media guy. I am 25. I look 35. I am tired. So tired. I am the social media guy. I know my job is fake. You know my job is fake. My bosses know my job is fake. Why don't they fire me? Why am I here? Nothing I do is quantifiable. It is superstition. I am the social media guy. A totem, an offering to new media by desperate men. My purpose is abstract. You never see me do anything. I am always on my phone. Is it my job? I am the social media guy. One day, I will be gone. Nothing will change. you gotta make all the things go "viral" have you heard of "memes"? kids love memes these days!
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Apr 22, 2016 09:36
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I'm glad that before TV died and everything switched to online ads we were able to see Old Spice Guy and Dos Equis Guy
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Apr 22, 2016 10:16
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I'm engaging with you in your butt
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Apr 22, 2016 10:20
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I'm the actually useful social media guy who's buying user information for our companies marketing staff, and is collecting palpable data to demonstrate and understand responses to whatever it is this company does. Not nearly as good at managing my personal brand though so I make a full zero less than OP in spite of the fact that I actually do something that requires a decent STEM degree.
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Apr 22, 2016 10:21
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You're Kloud score: five stars
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Apr 22, 2016 10:21
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Joust posted:Same person in a tiny toilet cubicle, shittin' the day away. Fill out all the work orders, get the bathroom labeled "conference room," label the best stall your "office," and conduct "business" there, good times. Happy Bear Suit posted:you gotta make all the things go "viral" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TDC9s-Kt-8&t=6s
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Apr 22, 2016 10:54
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Jellidelic posted:I'm the actually useful social media guy stop sending me farmville requests
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Apr 22, 2016 12:35
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canyoneer posted:You should accidentally retweet a photo of a chick sticking a toy plane in her hoohah from United's official twitter account Thank you for reminding me of this wonderful moment in digital outreach.
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Apr 22, 2016 12:38
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FactsAreUseless posted:I am the social media guy. I sit in an office and you are not certain what I do. Sometimes I speak, enthusiastically, at meetings, about Twitter. There is no light in my eyes. There is no life in my eyes. I am the social media guy. I am 25. I look 35. I am tired. So tired. I am the social media guy. I know my job is fake. You know my job is fake. My bosses know my job is fake. Why don't they fire me? Why am I here? Nothing I do is quantifiable. It is superstition. I am the social media guy. A totem, an offering to new media by desperate men. My purpose is abstract. You never see me do anything. I am always on my phone. Is it my job? I am the social media guy. One day, I will be gone. Nothing will change. Hey Lou, this guy sounds ripe for upper management, I'll get the paper work started.
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Apr 22, 2016 12:50
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this thread is gay LIKE if you agree
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Apr 22, 2016 13:04
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