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I dunno it was pretty lame being in the Jehovah's Witnesses. Ask away. Backstory: Mom joined them before I was born, we quit after my parents got divorced and we thankfully stopped going. Couldn't celebrate birthdays or holidays, couldn't watch stuff with magic in it because that was against god or some bullshit, etc etc. Their history of loving nuts, and largely suppressed by the jdubs. It was started by a shithead named Charles Taze Russel in the late 1800s and kind of branched off of Adventism. The jdubs have predicted the end of the world like three or four different times, and of course just make bullshit excuses about why it didn't happen this time. They are controlled by a council of a bunch of old dudes who literally have complete control over the entire religion and all its doctrines. They tell everyone that their rulings and decisions are direct intervention from So yeah, ask me about being in that loving horrible gay cult growing up as a young child.
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Apr 22, 2016 05:27
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what did your people think about the dudes out west with like 8 wives and poo poo
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Apr 22, 2016 05:39
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Nostalgia4Butts posted:what did your people think about the dudes out west with like 8 wives and poo poo No clue, never heard any conversations about it. But women were pretty much expected to start "dating" and get married as soon as possible to another JW. We were out of it by the time I was 11, so there's a lot that I don't know about because I was so young. They've changed a lot even in the time since I've been out. They're loving lazy now and just setup kiosks in malls and airports and poo poo and stare at their phones like non JWs, fifteen years ago they would have probably said smartphones are sinful or something. We used to have to do all that door to door proselytizing every week, and now it seems like they don't give a gently caress. They've still got horrible beliefs even if they've caught up with the 21st century in some ways.
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Apr 22, 2016 05:51
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How many times did you get diddled as a kid?
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Apr 22, 2016 05:55
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None 
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Apr 22, 2016 05:58
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Can you sum up an unbiased description of the faith/practice/beliefs in a paragraph Are there dope jehova summer camps or what
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Apr 22, 2016 06:00
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stay off my lawn plz
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Apr 22, 2016 06:06
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Nostalgia4Dicks posted:Can you sum up an unbiased description of the faith/practice/beliefs in a paragraph Before I started doing research on their religion I generally had the attitude that they had some silly beliefs about not celebrating holidays or birthdays, and that their belief that anyone who isn't a JW will all die (but not go to hell, because they don't believe in hell) were kind of hosed up. Again, I was young so I didn't learn about the more hosed up poo poo or retarded beliefs until I was older. But the people in the congregations were for the most part lower class down to Earth people and were very nice (mostly). That's the thing though, the entire religion is a few powerful elite in the organization profiting off real estate properties that they have JW members build for no compensation. I'm not even kidding, they own so much real estate, and they don't even have to hire anyone to do generalized labor. That reminds me, they discourage members from attending higher education, "it would get in the way of praising Jehovah". They prey on the poor and uneducated to keep their cult going. So in summarized format: It's a cult for the purpose of keeping the elite rich by preying on the poor with a promise of a better life ("paradise on Earth") when all the non-believers are killed by Jehovah in Armageddeon. It started out as a doomsday cult and quickly turned into a profit driven business. No fun camps or anything. VikingSkull posted:stay off my lawn plz I hated going to random stranger's doors and bugging them at 8 in the morning on a saturday. Even at that age I knew it was a dick move.
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Apr 22, 2016 06:16
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what is this no holidays poo poo - not even the jesus-related ones? in your best estimation, who are the shittiest, mormons or jw thank you for your service mike-o
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Apr 22, 2016 06:23
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their reasoning about holidays is that they're all connected to pagan religions and fesivals. christmas being a merger with noel or whatever the gently caress from germanic tribes to get them to convert, therefore a perversion of celebrating jesus' birth or whatever. easter was a fertility celebration, etc. birthdays are vain, so gently caress you no presents you little poo poo. mormons are lovely in their own ways from what i know about them, but they seem way loving nicer than JWs. there's a lot of nice JWs, but they're willfully ignorant of the world (which is why they call everyone that isn't a JW "The World" or "Worldly People"). lots of backstabbing trashtalking shitheads in the JWs. all the mormons i've ever met were nice, or they were sort-of-ex-mormons who were in the army with me and were also cool dudes. JWs don't even allow you to join the military. then again i can't really compare because i was never a mormon, i'm sure there's a lot of horrible poo poo they do too. so maybe i'll just put it down to who wakes you up earlier to tell you about god and jesus. probably JWs because we were dicks and came super loving early so you can answer your door hung over in your boxers with whiskey on your breath. o7
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Apr 22, 2016 06:32
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Nostalgia4Dicks posted:Are there dope jehova summer camps or what i take it back, i do remember we did a couple trips. we were in texas and went to this place and a nice river with some shallow pools in the summer with some inner tubes. oh yeah, we went to loving Schlitterbahn which was awesome. there were yearly regional conventions where all the JWs would meet at a convention center or stadium and listen to boring old fucks talk about Jehovah for 3 days straight. the good part was they'd usually be in big cities, me and my family would go to big malls in Dallas, Six Flags, all sorts of poo poo. so, even though JWs is a gay dumb cult, there's still good people within it and i do have some fond memories as a kid. but it's not like JWs paid for any of that, we just did it on our own or with a few other JWs. most were too loving poor to have any fun.
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Apr 22, 2016 06:38
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also my dad wasn't in it. we were stationed at Ft. Hood at the time, he just liked drinking, smoking and fishing. so i fished with my dad a lot to get out of dumb gay jesus cult stuff.
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Apr 22, 2016 06:40
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I gotta admit they ain't really wrong about the holidays and such. But obv most of us don't care about all that hoopla and just wanna eat food and celebrate something. Birthday thing is weird. Did you ever once see someone converted or even hear of it from door-to-door preaching Do jehovas do any charitable type work at all? Nostalgia4Dogges fucked around with this message at 06:53 on Apr 22, 2016 |
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Apr 22, 2016 06:50
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Are you one of the 144,000?
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Apr 22, 2016 06:53
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EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:Are you one of the 144,000? Yeah so what happens they just tack on extra planets as the religion grows? Is it steadily growing, stagnant, decline?
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Apr 22, 2016 06:53
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I remember a few women being converted, with reluctant husbands for the most part. No charitable work that I know of, and I highly doubt they do at all. This is really weird talking about this poo poo. I never bring it up with anyone in my personal life except my mother. It was all just "normal" to me until I started realizing it wasn't normal at all. Doesn't really help that it's all I had known since birth.
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Apr 22, 2016 06:54
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EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:Are you one of the 144,000? All the old people always claim to be so they can get buzzed during passover with the wine. Nostalgia4Dicks posted:Yeah so what happens they just tack on extra planets as the religion grows? JWs would be cooler if they had their own planets like Mormons. I've talked to some other ex-JWs before and I think they made some new "decree" about the 144,000 to basically stop people from claiming it anymore. It's been 20 years since I've been in and a lot has changed from what I've heard, so I don't really know.
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Apr 22, 2016 06:58
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Mike-o posted:So in summarized format: It's a cult for the purpose of keeping the elite rich by preying on the poor with a promise of a better life ("paradise on Earth") when all the non-believers are killed by Jehovah in Armageddeon. It started out as a doomsday cult and quickly turned into a profit driven business. so what makes it different from every other western religion?
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Apr 22, 2016 07:24
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Get off my loving porch Mike-O I don't want to read your literature
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Apr 22, 2016 07:28
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jws would be cool if they handed out singles of this instead of their dumb magazine https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLV4_xaYynY
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Apr 22, 2016 07:31
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What'd you think of the friends of jesus or the quakers or whoever? They seem pretty similar in the no fun thing. Namaste
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Apr 22, 2016 08:20
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Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:so what makes it different from every other western religion? Not much, they're just the one of the logical conclusions of Christianity with all the assholes in the 1800s claiming they had divine prophecies from God and then a bunch of retards start following them. The only things that really stand out are that they don't believe in the trinity, don't believe Satan has a realm called hell (he has control of earth cuz God was like yeah whatever I bet you humans won't listen to you so have at it, I'll just kill them all anyway except for THIS TINY MINORITY OF PEOPLE THAT BELIEVE IN THE TRUE PATH). They think blood is sacred and refuse blood transfusions, that only the chosen 144,000 will go to heaven to serve God, and the rest of the JWs will be resurrected on a paradise earth and be immortal. So yeah, not much different from other crazy Protestant sects. Kawasaki Nun posted:What'd you think of the friends of jesus or the quakers or whoever? They seem pretty similar in the no fun thing. Namaste Don't really know, but I think the JWs were friendly with the Quakers?
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Apr 22, 2016 18:08
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Mike-o posted:Not much, they're just the one of the logical conclusions of Christianity with all the assholes in the 1800s claiming they had divine prophecies from God and then a bunch of retards start following them. The only things that really stand out are that they don't believe in the trinity, don't believe Satan has a realm called hell (he has control of earth cuz God was like yeah whatever I bet you humans won't listen to you so have at it, I'll just kill them all anyway except for THIS TINY MINORITY OF PEOPLE THAT BELIEVE IN THE TRUE PATH). They think blood is sacred and refuse blood transfusions, that only the chosen 144,000 will go to heaven to serve God, and the rest of the JWs will be resurrected on a paradise earth and be immortal. So yeah, not much different from other crazy Protestant sects. when you went to worship, was scripture used to back this stuff up, or do you just kind of have a clergyman who knows what's going on? Speaking of, What kind of clergy do the jw even have? Is it just like a preacher in a suit or do you sit in storytime circles criss cross apple sauce and chant at each other as peers or what
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Apr 22, 2016 19:04
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Where did the arbitrary number of 144,000 come from? Is that what god told someone? Do they all take tickets and have assigned numbers or something
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Apr 22, 2016 21:51
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Nostalgia4Dicks posted:Where did the arbitrary number of 144,000 come from? Is that what god told someone? 12 tribes of Israel and biblical numerology basically used 12,000 as a stand in for a huge group of people. (my dad was really interested in numerology when he was gonna be a priest before my mom got him out of it) 12x12,000=144,000 it's basically meant to mean "a huge massive crowd of people"
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Apr 22, 2016 22:29
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DownByTheWooter posted:when you went to worship, was scripture used to back this stuff up, or do you just kind of have a clergyman who knows what's going on? Yeah they would read choice scriptures, and then even more from their published magazines which are a part of the doctrine passed down from the "governing body", the old dudes that control the org. JWs actually have their own version of the bible, where they've completely changed the translations from Greek and Hebrew to try to fit their dogma. This isn't mentioned to JWs. Only that "our version of the bible is a more faithful translation of the original scripture" which it completely isn't. So basically it's mostly dogma from the org that they preach, and out of context poorly translated and manipulated scripture to "back it up". Everyone is in suits and dresses. They refer to each other as "brother" and "sister". I forget the wording for the people in charge for each congregation, but I do remember they call the person in charge of a whole region "presiding overseer" or some poo poo like that. They delegate on down the line where people will get on the stand and read scripture and dogma about whatever bullshit talking point they have that day, and hymns will be sung at the beginning and end. Nostalgia4Dicks posted:Where did the arbitrary number of 144,000 come from? Is that what god told someone? I really have no clue, I'll have to do some reading but I'm pretty sure it was from the originator Charles Taze Russel being really into Masonic and Egyptian occult imagery (which the JWs fail to mention that their founder was an occult weirdo, his tombstone is a loving Masonic pyramid) and somehow it probably has to do with numerology and Egyptian symbolism combined with cherry picked and poorly interpreted scripture or some poo poo and "math" to come to the conclusion there are a 144,000 chosen by God to work for him in heaven.
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Apr 22, 2016 22:32
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Nostalgia4Butts posted:12 tribes of Israel Guess I was on the right track. gently caress JWs are crazy and dumb.
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Apr 22, 2016 22:33
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lol that's quite the arbitrary number, 12 goes back to Sumeria as well
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Apr 22, 2016 22:33
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Nostalgia4Dicks posted:lol that's quite the arbitrary number, 12 goes back to Sumeria as well no good religion would ever copy from another
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Apr 22, 2016 22:42
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What kind of porn do you watch
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Apr 22, 2016 22:43
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Zeris posted:What kind of porn do you watch I went through puberty after being in the cult, and mom realized trying to tell me that liking boobies was wrong is dumb and wouldn't work. So no, I'm not sexually repressed like you'd think. To answer the question, mostly white girls but other races are awesome too. Mostly guy and girl, sometimes a bunch of girls with one or some guys. I've never cared for butthole stuff. Sorry my porn tastes are so vanilla  To segue from sexual repression, I honestly believe that being in the JWs socially stunted me. I didn't have that much interaction with others kids when I was young, because they frown on you associating with non-JWs. I didn't start understanding people and social interactions until well into my late teens, and honestly into my early twenties. Also I was really nerdy as a kid. Being forced to be social when I joined Sea Scouts as a teen helped, and the Army definitely got me out of my shell. I was way too awkward to ever get girls attention or laid, so that's why I've never heard a Prince song (which started this whole conversation) because I was a socially repressed loving dork in my teens. So now you all know why I was an idiot and joined the loving army, but hey now I'm not a dork anymore, I'm a angry PTSD addled shithead war vet just like my dad.
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Apr 22, 2016 23:25
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so uhhhh can i delete this thread after we're done because god drat i've been dumping out my personal life like gently caress on this. then some goon angry at me is gonna doxx me 
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Apr 22, 2016 23:28
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My dad's mom is JW and he got that poo poo literally beat into him in the 60s & 70s. Saturnalia is what his mom's particular group would call christmas. She's like some crazy hoarder and I think one of my aunts is still into that poo poo.
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Apr 22, 2016 23:45
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A JW ruined Christmas for me when I was in kindergarten. That's my story.
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Apr 22, 2016 23:49
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Cocksuckers keep coming by my house since I'm friendly and I've dealt with them enough via family to get their lingo, but god damnit I don't really want to talk to them. They called me by name the last time they showed up.
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Apr 22, 2016 23:52
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They've got you on a list of people that are "receptive" so they're going to keep bugging you. Do something to show them you're not.
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Apr 23, 2016 00:00
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Yeah next time I'm just going to politely ask them to not return.
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Apr 23, 2016 00:08
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When I was a little kid I would tell them I worshipped Satan and then slam the door on them. And by little kid I mean I still do that.
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Apr 23, 2016 00:42
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When I was a teen, a friend and I would take turns calling and requesting information from them to random people in the neighborhood.
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Apr 23, 2016 00:46
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Syrian Lannister posted:When I was a teen, a friend and I would take turns calling and requesting information from them to random people in the neighborhood. drat that's ice cold dude.
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Apr 23, 2016 01:22
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