How is K-Mart profiting off of these?

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > How is K-Mart profiting off of these?

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King Vidiot: Feb 17, 2007; You think you can take me at Satan's Hollow? Go 'head on!

Pantsless Hero posted:

Welcome to the questionable soda museum! I can't decide if I like Dr. Chill's smooth bedside manner more than a Real Dr. Life is tough.

Dr. Dynamite and Dr. Chill are two of my favorite 70's exploitation films.

Is that "Dr Zevia" actually made by Stevia, did they use Stevia in it but can't legally refer to the ingredient, or did that company make their own generic knock-off of Stevia called Zevia?

# ? Apr 28, 2016 17:11

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 23:14

inkajoo: Oct 4, 2015; nyes

Melmac posted:

Doctor A Plus just rolls right off the tongue

this really puts in perspective how lovely Safeway's off-brand graphic design is for me. everything looks like a god drat medical pamphlet.

# ? Apr 28, 2016 17:25

The Walrus: Jul 9, 2002; by Fluffdaddy

sometimes the private label manufacturer is the same as the national brand. only the retailer gets to sell it at a 60% margin now wheras NB is like 20%. its nuts.

I work with private label OTC drugs and the margin on those is insane. talking about 80%-90%. Can hit 70% on promo which is just disgusting.

# ? Apr 28, 2016 17:34

Falun Bong Refugee: Dec 14, 2015; by FactsAreUseless

The Walrus posted:

sometimes the private label manufacturer is the same as the national brand. only the retailer gets to sell it at a 60% margin now wheras NB is like 20%. its nuts.

I work with private label OTC drugs and the margin on those is insane. talking about 80%-90%. Can hit 70% on promo which is just disgusting.

I buy my OTC at Costco, how bad am I getting ripped off?

# ? Apr 28, 2016 17:36

The Walrus: Jul 9, 2002; by Fluffdaddy

Falun Bong Refugee posted:

I buy my OTC at Costco, how bad am I getting ripped off?

are they manufactured in india? then a lot.

# ? Apr 28, 2016 17:38

Robo Reagan: Feb 12, 2012; by Fluffdaddy

SLICK GOKU BABY posted:

Wow, how could they not make a profit selling 12 cans of lovely soda for $2.50?

# ? Apr 28, 2016 17:41

extra stout: Feb 24, 2005; ISILDUR's ERR

very good question op im sure the recipe alone for mtn rpd must have cost them 200 mil then think about how much it costs to harvest those rare natural soda resources from our beautiful earth

# ? Apr 28, 2016 17:53

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Pretty sure K-Mart doesn't make profit on anything, I think they're just a giant tax writeoff at this point.

# ? Apr 28, 2016 18:04

VectorSigma: Jan 20, 2004; Transform
and
Freak Out

soda is cheap enough that the entire industry could theoretically exist as a means of selling aluminum to consumers at above market price

# ? Apr 28, 2016 18:23

Nefarious 2.0: Apr 22, 2008; Offense is overrated anyway.

shut up idiot!!

# ? Apr 28, 2016 18:32

City of Tampa: May 6, 2007; by zen death robot

every few years I end up going to the kmart near my home for something and it just depresses the gently caress out of me that people have to work there.

everything is yellowed and dirty, the lights are kinda dim, god imagine spending 40 hours a week there for years at a time.

# ? Apr 28, 2016 18:35

Ema Nymton: Apr 26, 2008; the place where I come from
is a small town; Buglord

King Vidiot posted:

Dr. Dynamite and Dr. Chill are two of my favorite 70's exploitation films.

Is that "Dr Zevia" actually made by Stevia, did they use Stevia in it but can't legally refer to the ingredient, or did that company make their own generic knock-off of Stevia called Zevia?

Zevia is indeed made of stevia, and I reckon they use the name "Zevia" because it sounds cooler for a brand name.

Zevia is OK. Not great, but OK. I'll buy it if it's on sale, but otherwise I don't; it tastes too weird and it's expensive. But if it were ever proven (for real) that other artificial lo-cal sweeteners are deadly venom that cause cancer and obesity and they were banned and all we had left was stevia, I could live with Zevia.

# ? Apr 28, 2016 18:37

scuba school sucks: Aug 30, 2012; The brilliance of my posting illuminates the forums like a jar of shining gold when all around is dark

Eating a free pizza right this minute. Literally free. Like Dominoes put this flyer in my mailbox that said "bring in this flyer and get a FREE 3-topping large pizza, no other purchase necessary". They didn't try some bullshit like, oh, this is only free with purchase of another pizza of equal or greater price, they literally made me a pizza and gave it to me in exchange for a flyer.

Then when they handed me my pizza they gave me a wad of coupons including another flyer for a free 3-topping large pizza. I understand loss leaders but how do they make a profit giving free pizzas away every day?

# ? Apr 28, 2016 18:46

VectorSigma: Jan 20, 2004; Transform
and
Freak Out

Network Pesci posted:

I understand loss leaders but how do they make a profit giving free pizzas away every day?

you just ate a promotional tax write-off made from almost-expired ingredients

# ? Apr 28, 2016 18:52

Furious Mittens: Oct 14, 2005; Lipstick Apathy

Melmac posted:

http://www.kmart.com/smart-sense-mountain-rapids-soda-144/p-033W006845563001P?prdNo=4&blockNo=4&blockType=G4

http://www.kmart.com/smart-sense-dr-smart-soda-144-carton/p-033W006860214001P?prdNo=11&blockNo=11&blockType=G11

That includes deposit

Dr. Derek Smart should sue because they are clearly profiting off of his name, as he is well known by the name "Dr. Smart".

# ? Apr 28, 2016 19:01

Captain Yossarian: Feb 24, 2011; All new" Rings of Fire"

PISSSSSS

# ? Apr 28, 2016 19:06

Mozi: Apr 4, 2004; Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die; Nap Ghost

I prefer Nurse Salt cola

# ? Apr 28, 2016 19:26

Heteroy: Mar 13, 2004; Yam Slacker

Crispy Hexagons! I saw a box of that at the Winn-Dixie like 15-20 years ago and couldn't stop laughing. If I remember correctly, the same company also distributed an Admiral Crunchy cereal.

Also, Dr. Snap is a Whole Foods Market product and is more expensive than the name brand Dr. Pepper. Therefore, it is the superior product.

# ? Apr 29, 2016 00:44

ncumbered_by_idgits: Sep 20, 2008

I only read page 1 so maybe someone else asked this question: Kmart is still a thing? I honestly thought they ceased to exist about five years ago.

# ? Apr 29, 2016 00:47

King Vidiot: Feb 17, 2007; You think you can take me at Satan's Hollow? Go 'head on!

Ema Nymton posted:

Zevia is indeed made of stevia, and I reckon they use the name "Zevia" because it sounds cooler for a brand name.

Zevia is OK. Not great, but OK. I'll buy it if it's on sale, but otherwise I don't; it tastes too weird and it's expensive. But if it were ever proven (for real) that other artificial lo-cal sweeteners are deadly venom that cause cancer and obesity and they were banned and all we had left was stevia, I could live with Zevia.

Yeah I don't like that stuff either. It makes literally anything you put it in taste like diet soda, even if it isn't soda. You put it in a glass of iced tea and your iced tea tastes like tea-flavored diet soda.

# ? Apr 29, 2016 00:54

alpaca diseases: May 19, 2009

never had it before but I already know Dr. Radical is unarguably the best

# ? Apr 29, 2016 00:56

SLICK GOKU BABY: Jun 12, 2001; Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls

ncumbered_by_idgits posted:

I only read page 1 so maybe someone else asked this question: Kmart is still a thing? I honestly thought they ceased to exist about five years ago.

K-mart is somehow able to continue surviving. Nobody knows how but they keep moving on.

# ? Apr 29, 2016 00:57

Nut to Butt: Apr 13, 2009; by FactsAreUseless

Arian_Samurai posted:

that guy's legs are really short!

# ? Apr 29, 2016 00:57

poisonpill: Nov 8, 2009; The only way to get huge fast is to insult a passing witch and hope she curses you with Beast-strength.

Could we buy a bunch of this on sale and get a Kramer soda can recycling scheme going here?

# ? Apr 29, 2016 01:18

SHISHKABOB: Nov 30, 2012; Fun Shoe

Melmac posted:

$1.90 (5c deposit included in price).

That's 15 cents a can customer price. The gently caress they paying, 4 cents a can??

I made a thread like this one about Arizona tea and yeah it's true, this worthless poo poo we imbibe is actually quite fuckin cheap to make.

# ? Apr 29, 2016 01:18

JonathonSpectre: Jul 23, 2003; I replaced the Shermatar and text with this because I don't wanna see racial slurs every time you post what the fuck; Soiled Meat

Pope Corky the IX posted:

One time I drank so much cheap soda I poo poo my friend's pants.

OK this has nothing to do with cheap soda but I must tell this story now.

My grand-dad used to be a big poker player and there was a weekly game in our town that was kind of the "high money" game, which around here isn't very high. One of the well-known members of the playing group was a drunk named Harry the Cat. Harry was known to start an evening of playing poker sober and end face-down on the rug. One night, my grand-dad, Harry the Cat, and another friend named Jack were the last three playing and Harry passed the gently caress out right there at the table, slid off his chair, and dropped to the floor. Grand-dad and Jack were a little drunk themselves, and they decided that the funniest thing they could do at the moment was poo poo in Harry's pants.

So they pulled Harry's pants off, one or the other of them poo poo in them, and then they carefully put them back on Harry, made sure he wasn't going to die, and went home.

The next day, Harry comes into my grand-dad's restaurant, clean-shaven, new haircut, clean clothes.

:clint:

"Hey Harry, drat, you cleaned up good. What you all dolled up for?"

:nyan:

"I'm done with drinking... forever. I'm finished with it, for good. I'm a brand new man, and I figured I oughta look like a brand new man."

Harry the loving Cat saying he is done drinking is like a shark saying it's done being a terrifying apex predator with razor-sharp jaws. It's just not really a thing anyone expects as it is completely against the creature's nature. My grand-dad congratulated him for his new leaf, and then asked why he'd made this decision.

:nyan:

"Bobby, when you can somehow get so God-damned drunk that you poo poo your pants, but you don't poo poo your underwear, then it's time to stop before you kill yourself."

He never touched another drop for the rest of his life.

That's a true story, ladies and gents. I hope you enjoyed it.

# ? Apr 29, 2016 01:38

Dr. Quarex: Apr 18, 2003; I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

TOVA TOVA TOVA

I

I just GOT AN E-MAIL

ASKING ME IF I WANTED TO ORDER SMART SENSE MOUNTAIN RAPIDS SODA FROM K-MART

Welp. Well played, OP; this is the first time the Internet has fired its blackened advertising arrow at me and hit. THE SCRIPT AND AD-BLOCKERS, THEY DO NOTHING

# ? Apr 29, 2016 01:55

criscodisco: Feb 18, 2004; do it

JonathonSpectre posted:

OK this has nothing to do with cheap soda but I must tell this story now.

My grand-dad used to be a big poker player and there was a weekly game in our town that was kind of the "high money" game, which around here isn't very high. One of the well-known members of the playing group was a drunk named Harry the Cat. Harry was known to start an evening of playing poker sober and end face-down on the rug. One night, my grand-dad, Harry the Cat, and another friend named Jack were the last three playing and Harry passed the gently caress out right there at the table, slid off his chair, and dropped to the floor. Grand-dad and Jack were a little drunk themselves, and they decided that the funniest thing they could do at the moment was poo poo in Harry's pants.

So they pulled Harry's pants off, one or the other of them poo poo in them, and then they carefully put them back on Harry, made sure he wasn't going to die, and went home.

The next day, Harry comes into my grand-dad's restaurant, clean-shaven, new haircut, clean clothes.

"Hey Harry, drat, you cleaned up good. What you all dolled up for?"

"I'm done with drinking... forever. I'm finished with it, for good. I'm a brand new man, and I figured I oughta look like a brand new man."

Harry the loving Cat saying he is done drinking is like a shark saying it's done being a terrifying apex predator with razor-sharp jaws. It's just not really a thing anyone expects as it is completely against the creature's nature. My grand-dad congratulated him for his new leaf, and then asked why he'd made this decision.

"Bobby, when you can somehow get so God-damned drunk that you poo poo your pants, but you don't poo poo your underwear, then it's time to stop before you kill yourself."

He never touched another drop for the rest of his life.

That's a true story, ladies and gents. I hope you enjoyed it.

That's a very good story and it's very likely that in the future I'll get drunk and tell it as if it's about my grandfather.

# ? Apr 29, 2016 02:08

The Grimace: Sep 18, 2005; Are you a BigMac of imbeciles!?

I don't live in a place where I can go to K-Mart easily anymore, but I used to get all of my groceries at one up until two years ago. The one I went to wasn't bad and they had a pretty decent selection. Nice big frozen section, tons of produce, meat/deli/bakery setups, everything a respectable grocery store would have.

I'm back in my old stomping grounds for two weeks and needed groceries, so I stopped in. Sometime around November, they apparently completely gutted the grocery section of the Super K-Mart and now it just completely sucks. It takes up a fraction that it used to, it's got maybe one small freezer section, and I didn't notice much more than that. The lighting is also way way worse than I remember it being, with tons of lights off, I assume burned out.

It's like they just completely gave up. The only problems I remember the place having before were a lack of cashiers to check people out, and that's still an issue. At 4PM, it took 10 minutes for me to find my items and a good 20 minutes to actually check out because they only had two lanes open and tons of rednecks trying to buy everything.

I have no idea what the gently caress their strategy is now.

# ? Apr 29, 2016 02:13

SLICK GOKU BABY: Jun 12, 2001; Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls

Dr. Quarex posted:

I

I just GOT AN E-MAIL

ASKING ME IF I WANTED TO ORDER SMART SENSE MOUNTAIN RAPIDS SODA FROM K-MART

Welp. Well played, OP; this is the first time the Internet has fired its blackened advertising arrow at me and hit. THE SCRIPT AND AD-BLOCKERS, THEY DO NOTHING

It was a trick, OP works for K-Mart and just boosted their weekly sales by 100% by posting this thread.

# ? Apr 29, 2016 02:14

JonathonSpectre: Jul 23, 2003; I replaced the Shermatar and text with this because I don't wanna see racial slurs every time you post what the fuck; Soiled Meat

criscodisco posted:

That's a very good story and it's very likely that in the future I'll get drunk and tell it as if it's about my grandfather.

Just make sure you get Harry the Cat's name right.

BTW bonus Harry the Cat fun fact: My grand-dad won the house I grew up in and the 3-acre spread it's on from Harry the Cat in a poker game. The next day my grand-dad went over to Harry's house and tried to give him back the deed and Harry threatened to shoot him if he didn't keep it. He said he lost it fair and square and I quote, "loving losers are weepers."

Harry was cool.

# ? Apr 29, 2016 02:41

ziasquinn: Jan 1, 2006; Fallen Rib

JonathonSpectre posted:

OK this has nothing to do with cheap soda but I must tell this story now.

My grand-dad used to be a big poker player and there was a weekly game in our town that was kind of the "high money" game, which around here isn't very high. One of the well-known members of the playing group was a drunk named Harry the Cat. Harry was known to start an evening of playing poker sober and end face-down on the rug. One night, my grand-dad, Harry the Cat, and another friend named Jack were the last three playing and Harry passed the gently caress out right there at the table, slid off his chair, and dropped to the floor. Grand-dad and Jack were a little drunk themselves, and they decided that the funniest thing they could do at the moment was poo poo in Harry's pants.

So they pulled Harry's pants off, one or the other of them poo poo in them, and then they carefully put them back on Harry, made sure he wasn't going to die, and went home.

The next day, Harry comes into my grand-dad's restaurant, clean-shaven, new haircut, clean clothes.

"Hey Harry, drat, you cleaned up good. What you all dolled up for?"

"I'm done with drinking... forever. I'm finished with it, for good. I'm a brand new man, and I figured I oughta look like a brand new man."

Harry the loving Cat saying he is done drinking is like a shark saying it's done being a terrifying apex predator with razor-sharp jaws. It's just not really a thing anyone expects as it is completely against the creature's nature. My grand-dad congratulated him for his new leaf, and then asked why he'd made this decision.

"Bobby, when you can somehow get so God-damned drunk that you poo poo your pants, but you don't poo poo your underwear, then it's time to stop before you kill yourself."

He never touched another drop for the rest of his life.

That's a true story, ladies and gents. I hope you enjoyed it.

Harry the cat loving rules

# ? Apr 29, 2016 03:22

SHISHKABOB: Nov 30, 2012; Fun Shoe

JonathonSpectre posted:

OK this has nothing to do with cheap soda but I must tell this story now.

My grand-dad used to be a big poker player and there was a weekly game in our town that was kind of the "high money" game, which around here isn't very high. One of the well-known members of the playing group was a drunk named Harry the Cat. Harry was known to start an evening of playing poker sober and end face-down on the rug. One night, my grand-dad, Harry the Cat, and another friend named Jack were the last three playing and Harry passed the gently caress out right there at the table, slid off his chair, and dropped to the floor. Grand-dad and Jack were a little drunk themselves, and they decided that the funniest thing they could do at the moment was poo poo in Harry's pants.

So they pulled Harry's pants off, one or the other of them poo poo in them, and then they carefully put them back on Harry, made sure he wasn't going to die, and went home.

The next day, Harry comes into my grand-dad's restaurant, clean-shaven, new haircut, clean clothes.

"Hey Harry, drat, you cleaned up good. What you all dolled up for?"

"I'm done with drinking... forever. I'm finished with it, for good. I'm a brand new man, and I figured I oughta look like a brand new man."

Harry the loving Cat saying he is done drinking is like a shark saying it's done being a terrifying apex predator with razor-sharp jaws. It's just not really a thing anyone expects as it is completely against the creature's nature. My grand-dad congratulated him for his new leaf, and then asked why he'd made this decision.

"Bobby, when you can somehow get so God-damned drunk that you poo poo your pants, but you don't poo poo your underwear, then it's time to stop before you kill yourself."

He never touched another drop for the rest of his life.

That's a true story, ladies and gents. I hope you enjoyed it.