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MiracleWhale
Jun 30, 2015


VendaGoat posted:

When I decided to be a responsible adult with money.

Worst decision of my life.

#relatable

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Internetjack
Sep 15, 2007

oh god how did this get here i am not good with computers
Top Cop
When we found all that drug money in a crashed plane in the woods, we really should not have told anyone or spent any of it right away.

Internetjack
Sep 15, 2007

oh god how did this get here i am not good with computers
Top Cop
It's cool, I'm okay to drive.

thathonkey
Jul 17, 2012
when the raptor fences lost power

Internetjack
Sep 15, 2007

oh god how did this get here i am not good with computers
Top Cop
Maybe choosing who to vote for out of pure spite wasn't such a great idea.

MiracleWhale
Jun 30, 2015


i never would've checked that box admitting I was a member of the yakuza if I'd just sought help with my tax return from the professionals at h&r block

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
when i blew it all buying studio time for my solo recording of spokenword madrigals

MiracleWhale
Jun 30, 2015


I failed to read the packaging of the dollar store exfoliant which clearly states "for industrial use only"

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
when a cluster of rectal polups shot unexpectedly from my rear end as i was lighting a fart, and arced across the boardroom like a shower of meteors

ANIME IS BLOOD
Sep 4, 2008

by zen death robot
mid to late 2007

MiracleWhale
Jun 30, 2015


sure, i said to the ice cream man, I'd love to see what you have in the back of the van, and that's how I developed a case of type 2 diabetes

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
when the autopsy report came back and it turned out the bitch was cleverer than i thought and had made her last meal of alphabet soup spell out my name

MiracleWhale
Jun 30, 2015


Orkin Mang posted:

when the autopsy report came back and it turned the bitch was cleverer than i thought and had made her last meal of alphabet soup spell out my name

MiracleWhale
Jun 30, 2015


I didn't expect shiva to cancel that multi million dollar contract just because I wasn't sure which hand to shake

Izzhov
Dec 6, 2013

My head hurts.
I should've considered the structural integrity of the building before trying to spice up the bedroom with that fourth african elephant

MiracleWhale
Jun 30, 2015


when I snapped my fingers to summon the troll-waitress I didn't expect the pixie-hostess to fly right between them and get crushed, and to make matters worse I forgot my wallet

basement jihadist
Oct 3, 2002

jus so u all know im jackin off to this thread

Izzhov
Dec 6, 2013

My head hurts.
that time I put a hundred thousand pictures of my rear end on the internet

Izzhov
Dec 6, 2013

My head hurts.
it was all going fine until I took out that fifth student loan for clown college

thathonkey
Jul 17, 2012
posting dikc pics on facebook now i cant be in facebook anymore so i have to post here

basement jihadist
Oct 3, 2002

all publicity is good publicity

Izzhov
Dec 6, 2013

My head hurts.
I don't think I really thought through the consequences of hiring someone to kill my dad

Izzhov
Dec 6, 2013

My head hurts.
Much less letting them go back in time to before I was born to do it

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
when the traintrack intersected with itself at omega junction, killing all on board

Internetjack
Sep 15, 2007

oh god how did this get here i am not good with computers
Top Cop
"You know, I bet pole vaulters get chicks."

JiveHonky
May 12, 2001

by zen death robot
Grimey Drawer
the moment i chose heterosexuality i was doomed

Internetjack
Sep 15, 2007

oh god how did this get here i am not good with computers
Top Cop
Just after it began.

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
id say about the time i started sleeping under the pingpong table at the ymca, which was right around the time my wife got one of those live in life coaches

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!
I think it was when I refused to marry my childhood rapist, well more like found out they tried to marry me without me knowing and then tried to snuff me out. Things got p bad, lots of attempts on my life and poo poo.

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

MiracleWhale posted:

I didn't expect shiva to cancel that multi million dollar contract just because I wasn't sure which hand to shake

hahaha

Tolkien minority
Feb 14, 2012


When the abortion didn't take

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
when they hacked off my head, severed my torso, sliced off my left nipple then threw me into an irish bog for my infidelity to mother earth

Iron Prince
Aug 28, 2005
Buglord
oobie og ouse

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

Iron Prince posted:

oobie og ouse

*folds into bog*

MiracleWhale
Jun 30, 2015


my first invention was the nuvahoop, the first long term contraceptive that can turn into a hula hoop - just add water! - and in retrospect I should've seen the lawsuits coming

naem
May 29, 2011

I'm actually doing pretty well somehow

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

MiracleWhale posted:

my first invention was the nuvahoop, the first long term contraceptive that can turn into a hula hoop - just add water! - and in retrospect I should've seen the lawsuits coming

bout a thousand of my cow intestines were sold to pagans as ritual prophylactics so it wasnt a total wash

Isaac
Aug 3, 2006

Fun Shoe

Orkin Mang posted:

id say about the time i started sleeping under the pingpong table at the ymca, which was right around the time my wife got one of those live in life coaches

SEGA Ass Fisting
Feb 15, 2012

KEEP IT TIGHT!
Communications degree

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Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

Rape Stink posted:

Communications degree

i dont understand

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