- 13Pandora13
- Nov 5, 2008
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I've got tiiits that swingle dangle dingle
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Obviously this means my husband and I are having issues.
I just want to know if anyone who has ever gotten a divorce has any advice.
My husband is an alcoholic, drug addict, and has been in trouble with the law quite a few times. He has a good job, but mine is better. We bought a house last year. When we met, he had a crappy job, no license, too many court fees, and no car. Since then, we've paid off all the fees, gotten his license back, a car, etc.
He doesn't want to divorce me. He wants me to be fine with him disappearing in drunken, drugged out binges for days at a time, not answering any calls/texts and then just returning. No apologies, no explanations.
Well, I am not. I am not a drug addict. I don't drink. I've never been in trouble with the law. Everything is under MY name, though, both cars, the house, etc because I have good credit and his is poo poo.
He said that if I try to divorce him, he's going to take everything I have. Is that possible? We've been married for almost 3 years now. I understand they say that marriage is hardest in the first 5-6 years.
So, divorcees out there. Have you divorced someone? What was the process? Has anyone divorced a POS that doesn't WANT to stop being a POS but also doesn't want to be divorced so they can continue to suck the life and money out of you?
Firstly, I am so, so sorry things worked out this way.
You definitely need a lawyer ASAP. If any paycheks, etc. are going into a joint account change that now. Compile any and all documents you have regarding any legal, financial, et al claims and allegations against him from before and during your marriage (in case he tries to claim he brought assets into the marriage). Listen to photomikey too.
And (in a not lovely way) definitely talk to a counselor, therapist, etc. - even though leaving is clearly the correct choice ending a marriage is still rough.
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May 4, 2016 00:39
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Apr 25, 2024 13:20
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- Space Kablooey
- May 6, 2009
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Do you have kids? If you have kids, divorce should be the most painful thing imaginable. At least it was for me. Though most people I have met that have divorced with children really don't know or give a gently caress what it does to kids because, well, most people are psychopathic, and chances are, you are too. However, if you do have kids, it's a different matter than if you don't.
You will destroy him in every way because you are female and family courts hate males. Chances are, your favorite position is in the missionary position and you've never once thought of someone else during sex. Chances are, he has. Therefore, you will win. The thing about having an ex is that there is someone out there who you loved with all your heart. Who you told every secret to. Who knows every weakness you have. Who hates you. As insinuated by my previous sexual statement, though, and along with the things you have said, it's quite likely that you have never had a dirty thought. You've never stole a bubble gum in your life. You don't swear. You don't like it up the butt. Yet he, more than likely, has many failings, drugs, affairs, kinks, embarrassing moments, enemies, etc. Therefore, when you divorce, you will destroy him. You'll be telling his mom about that time he asked you to go to a swinger club. You'll tell his boss he is a porn addict. You'll tell his future finance he's secretly gay. I'd say you'd have sex with all his friends, who'd bang you in a heartbeat, while none of your friends would touch him with a ten foot pole, however, you'd never do anything like that because you are goody two shoes.
If you do have kids, Uncle Sam will make him pay you to take them away from him. It won't matter if you cheat on him and told his kids to call another man daddy or anything. Uncle Sam is absolutely convinced that every father should pay their ex to take his kids away and give them to some other rear end in a top hat, even if you do that before the divorce.
For a modern woman, divorce is the best damned government program there ever was. If you have sisters or daughters, you should recommend they start planning for divorce early. The best path is to marry someone mildly successful, have a bunch of kids with him, gently caress his boss, then divorce in order to have the (ex) husband pay them to give his kids to his boss, who will fire him. Any proper divorce plan should involve the wife not getting a job or contributing anything meaningful to the marriage. The more the husband takes care of her during the marriage, the more alimony he will owe her while she is living with his boss who fired him who she started loving while they are married. Now in your case, though, even though you took care of him more than he took care of you, you won't have to give him any alimony. Family courts hate men. If you're a woman, you get more the more you were taken care of. but if you're a man you will only get share in accordance with what you should be able to produce. So if you did nothing for him during the marriage you'd be a poor housewife who he needs to take care of forever. But if he did nothing for you and you took care of him, the court will just say he is capable of earning millions and if he hasn't it's because he is a loser. Basically, you won't have to give him poo poo.
Now if you have sons and brothers, just slice off their genitilia and give them a brochure to a monastery. It's the only way to survive. Marriage is death. Your husband is about to find that out. He'll be owing you money for the rest of his life and give you everything he ever had even though you make more money than he does and are more successful than he is.
Anyway, you've decided you don't like him anymore. You are going to divorce. You are about to go through a wonderful journey in which you are about to find out that you are an omnipotent goddess. Your husband's soul is going to be ripped out of his body and poo poo on. He'll probably commit suicide, frankly. Don't believe his threats. They are a product of him actually believing that he is a human being and actually has some sort of hope for his future. However, he is only a male. Not a human. North American Grey Wolves have a higher status in the eyes of the law than he does. Deep down inside he may suspect the fact that his life is about to be over in any meaningful sense, and his threats are a deluded result of his belief that he has options and hope. The universe itself is designed to protect you from him. You, however, are free to abuse him in every way imaginable and nobody will give a poo poo.
Isn't SA for games and stuff? I am trying to figure these forums out.
Did a little dramatic reading for yall
Holy poo poo his screed took five and a half minutes to read out loud
Also this is 
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May 4, 2016 02:16
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- Grondoth
- Feb 18, 2011
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Do you have kids? If you have kids, divorce should be the most painful thing imaginable. At least it was for me. Though most people I have met that have divorced with children really don't know or give a gently caress what it does to kids because, well, most people are psychopathic, and chances are, you are too. However, if you do have kids, it's a different matter than if you don't.
You will destroy him in every way because you are female and family courts hate males. Chances are, your favorite position is in the missionary position and you've never once thought of someone else during sex. Chances are, he has. Therefore, you will win. The thing about having an ex is that there is someone out there who you loved with all your heart. Who you told every secret to. Who knows every weakness you have. Who hates you. As insinuated by my previous sexual statement, though, and along with the things you have said, it's quite likely that you have never had a dirty thought. You've never stole a bubble gum in your life. You don't swear. You don't like it up the butt. Yet he, more than likely, has many failings, drugs, affairs, kinks, embarrassing moments, enemies, etc. Therefore, when you divorce, you will destroy him. You'll be telling his mom about that time he asked you to go to a swinger club. You'll tell his boss he is a porn addict. You'll tell his future finance he's secretly gay. I'd say you'd have sex with all his friends, who'd bang you in a heartbeat, while none of your friends would touch him with a ten foot pole, however, you'd never do anything like that because you are goody two shoes.
If you do have kids, Uncle Sam will make him pay you to take them away from him. It won't matter if you cheat on him and told his kids to call another man daddy or anything. Uncle Sam is absolutely convinced that every father should pay their ex to take his kids away and give them to some other rear end in a top hat, even if you do that before the divorce.
For a modern woman, divorce is the best damned government program there ever was. If you have sisters or daughters, you should recommend they start planning for divorce early. The best path is to marry someone mildly successful, have a bunch of kids with him, gently caress his boss, then divorce in order to have the (ex) husband pay them to give his kids to his boss, who will fire him. Any proper divorce plan should involve the wife not getting a job or contributing anything meaningful to the marriage. The more the husband takes care of her during the marriage, the more alimony he will owe her while she is living with his boss who fired him who she started loving while they are married. Now in your case, though, even though you took care of him more than he took care of you, you won't have to give him any alimony. Family courts hate men. If you're a woman, you get more the more you were taken care of. but if you're a man you will only get share in accordance with what you should be able to produce. So if you did nothing for him during the marriage you'd be a poor housewife who he needs to take care of forever. But if he did nothing for you and you took care of him, the court will just say he is capable of earning millions and if he hasn't it's because he is a loser. Basically, you won't have to give him poo poo.
Now if you have sons and brothers, just slice off their genitilia and give them a brochure to a monastery. It's the only way to survive. Marriage is death. Your husband is about to find that out. He'll be owing you money for the rest of his life and give you everything he ever had even though you make more money than he does and are more successful than he is.
Anyway, you've decided you don't like him anymore. You are going to divorce. You are about to go through a wonderful journey in which you are about to find out that you are an omnipotent goddess. Your husband's soul is going to be ripped out of his body and poo poo on. He'll probably commit suicide, frankly. Don't believe his threats. They are a product of him actually believing that he is a human being and actually has some sort of hope for his future. However, he is only a male. Not a human. North American Grey Wolves have a higher status in the eyes of the law than he does. Deep down inside he may suspect the fact that his life is about to be over in any meaningful sense, and his threats are a deluded result of his belief that he has options and hope. The universe itself is designed to protect you from him. You, however, are free to abuse him in every way imaginable and nobody will give a poo poo.
Isn't SA for games and stuff? I am trying to figure these forums out.
We are in a new golden age of posting.
Did a little dramatic reading for yall
Holy poo poo his screed took five and a half minutes to read out loud
Music choice is on point
Grondoth fucked around with this message at 06:54 on May 4, 2016
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May 4, 2016 06:51
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- atomicthumbs
- Dec 26, 2010
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We're in the business of extending man's senses.
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Do you have kids? If you have kids, divorce should be the most painful thing imaginable. At least it was for me. Though most people I have met that have divorced with children really don't know or give a gently caress what it does to kids because, well, most people are psychopathic, and chances are, you are too. However, if you do have kids, it's a different matter than if you don't.
You will destroy him in every way because you are female and family courts hate males. Chances are, your favorite position is in the missionary position and you've never once thought of someone else during sex. Chances are, he has. Therefore, you will win. The thing about having an ex is that there is someone out there who you loved with all your heart. Who you told every secret to. Who knows every weakness you have. Who hates you. As insinuated by my previous sexual statement, though, and along with the things you have said, it's quite likely that you have never had a dirty thought. You've never stole a bubble gum in your life. You don't swear. You don't like it up the butt. Yet he, more than likely, has many failings, drugs, affairs, kinks, embarrassing moments, enemies, etc. Therefore, when you divorce, you will destroy him. You'll be telling his mom about that time he asked you to go to a swinger club. You'll tell his boss he is a porn addict. You'll tell his future finance he's secretly gay. I'd say you'd have sex with all his friends, who'd bang you in a heartbeat, while none of your friends would touch him with a ten foot pole, however, you'd never do anything like that because you are goody two shoes.
If you do have kids, Uncle Sam will make him pay you to take them away from him. It won't matter if you cheat on him and told his kids to call another man daddy or anything. Uncle Sam is absolutely convinced that every father should pay their ex to take his kids away and give them to some other rear end in a top hat, even if you do that before the divorce.
For a modern woman, divorce is the best damned government program there ever was. If you have sisters or daughters, you should recommend they start planning for divorce early. The best path is to marry someone mildly successful, have a bunch of kids with him, gently caress his boss, then divorce in order to have the (ex) husband pay them to give his kids to his boss, who will fire him. Any proper divorce plan should involve the wife not getting a job or contributing anything meaningful to the marriage. The more the husband takes care of her during the marriage, the more alimony he will owe her while she is living with his boss who fired him who she started loving while they are married. Now in your case, though, even though you took care of him more than he took care of you, you won't have to give him any alimony. Family courts hate men. If you're a woman, you get more the more you were taken care of. but if you're a man you will only get share in accordance with what you should be able to produce. So if you did nothing for him during the marriage you'd be a poor housewife who he needs to take care of forever. But if he did nothing for you and you took care of him, the court will just say he is capable of earning millions and if he hasn't it's because he is a loser. Basically, you won't have to give him poo poo.
Now if you have sons and brothers, just slice off their genitilia and give them a brochure to a monastery. It's the only way to survive. Marriage is death. Your husband is about to find that out. He'll be owing you money for the rest of his life and give you everything he ever had even though you make more money than he does and are more successful than he is.
Anyway, you've decided you don't like him anymore. You are going to divorce. You are about to go through a wonderful journey in which you are about to find out that you are an omnipotent goddess. Your husband's soul is going to be ripped out of his body and poo poo on. He'll probably commit suicide, frankly. Don't believe his threats. They are a product of him actually believing that he is a human being and actually has some sort of hope for his future. However, he is only a male. Not a human. North American Grey Wolves have a higher status in the eyes of the law than he does. Deep down inside he may suspect the fact that his life is about to be over in any meaningful sense, and his threats are a deluded result of his belief that he has options and hope. The universe itself is designed to protect you from him. You, however, are free to abuse him in every way imaginable and nobody will give a poo poo.
Isn't SA for games and stuff? I am trying to figure these forums out.
Hi dad
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May 4, 2016 07:07
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- TheWorstAmy
- Nov 27, 2009
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I'm a stupid Twitch streamer
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Do you have kids? If you have kids, divorce should be the most painful thing imaginable. At least it was for me. Though most people I have met that have divorced with children really don't know or give a gently caress what it does to kids because, well, most people are psychopathic, and chances are, you are too. However, if you do have kids, it's a different matter than if you don't.
You will destroy him in every way because you are female and family courts hate males. Chances are, your favorite position is in the missionary position and you've never once thought of someone else during sex. Chances are, he has. Therefore, you will win. The thing about having an ex is that there is someone out there who you loved with all your heart. Who you told every secret to. Who knows every weakness you have. Who hates you. As insinuated by my previous sexual statement, though, and along with the things you have said, it's quite likely that you have never had a dirty thought. You've never stole a bubble gum in your life. You don't swear. You don't like it up the butt. Yet he, more than likely, has many failings, drugs, affairs, kinks, embarrassing moments, enemies, etc. Therefore, when you divorce, you will destroy him. You'll be telling his mom about that time he asked you to go to a swinger club. You'll tell his boss he is a porn addict. You'll tell his future finance he's secretly gay. I'd say you'd have sex with all his friends, who'd bang you in a heartbeat, while none of your friends would touch him with a ten foot pole, however, you'd never do anything like that because you are goody two shoes.
If you do have kids, Uncle Sam will make him pay you to take them away from him. It won't matter if you cheat on him and told his kids to call another man daddy or anything. Uncle Sam is absolutely convinced that every father should pay their ex to take his kids away and give them to some other rear end in a top hat, even if you do that before the divorce.
For a modern woman, divorce is the best damned government program there ever was. If you have sisters or daughters, you should recommend they start planning for divorce early. The best path is to marry someone mildly successful, have a bunch of kids with him, gently caress his boss, then divorce in order to have the (ex) husband pay them to give his kids to his boss, who will fire him. Any proper divorce plan should involve the wife not getting a job or contributing anything meaningful to the marriage. The more the husband takes care of her during the marriage, the more alimony he will owe her while she is living with his boss who fired him who she started loving while they are married. Now in your case, though, even though you took care of him more than he took care of you, you won't have to give him any alimony. Family courts hate men. If you're a woman, you get more the more you were taken care of. but if you're a man you will only get share in accordance with what you should be able to produce. So if you did nothing for him during the marriage you'd be a poor housewife who he needs to take care of forever. But if he did nothing for you and you took care of him, the court will just say he is capable of earning millions and if he hasn't it's because he is a loser. Basically, you won't have to give him poo poo.
Now if you have sons and brothers, just slice off their genitilia and give them a brochure to a monastery. It's the only way to survive. Marriage is death. Your husband is about to find that out. He'll be owing you money for the rest of his life and give you everything he ever had even though you make more money than he does and are more successful than he is.
Anyway, you've decided you don't like him anymore. You are going to divorce. You are about to go through a wonderful journey in which you are about to find out that you are an omnipotent goddess. Your husband's soul is going to be ripped out of his body and poo poo on. He'll probably commit suicide, frankly. Don't believe his threats. They are a product of him actually believing that he is a human being and actually has some sort of hope for his future. However, he is only a male. Not a human. North American Grey Wolves have a higher status in the eyes of the law than he does. Deep down inside he may suspect the fact that his life is about to be over in any meaningful sense, and his threats are a deluded result of his belief that he has options and hope. The universe itself is designed to protect you from him. You, however, are free to abuse him in every way imaginable and nobody will give a poo poo.
Isn't SA for games and stuff? I am trying to figure these forums out.
Is it too late for me to be your wife?
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May 4, 2016 14:06
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- Bored
- Jul 26, 2007
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Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.
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Do you have kids? If you have kids, divorce should be the most painful thing imaginable. At least it was for me. Though most people I have met that have divorced with children really don't know or give a gently caress what it does to kids because, well, most people are psychopathic, and chances are, you are too. However, if you do have kids, it's a different matter than if you don't.
You will destroy him in every way because you are female and family courts hate males. Chances are, your favorite position is in the missionary position and you've never once thought of someone else during sex. Chances are, he has. Therefore, you will win. The thing about having an ex is that there is someone out there who you loved with all your heart. Who you told every secret to. Who knows every weakness you have. Who hates you. As insinuated by my previous sexual statement, though, and along with the things you have said, it's quite likely that you have never had a dirty thought. You've never stole a bubble gum in your life. You don't swear. You don't like it up the butt. Yet he, more than likely, has many failings, drugs, affairs, kinks, embarrassing moments, enemies, etc. Therefore, when you divorce, you will destroy him. You'll be telling his mom about that time he asked you to go to a swinger club. You'll tell his boss he is a porn addict. You'll tell his future finance he's secretly gay. I'd say you'd have sex with all his friends, who'd bang you in a heartbeat, while none of your friends would touch him with a ten foot pole, however, you'd never do anything like that because you are goody two shoes.
If you do have kids, Uncle Sam will make him pay you to take them away from him. It won't matter if you cheat on him and told his kids to call another man daddy or anything. Uncle Sam is absolutely convinced that every father should pay their ex to take his kids away and give them to some other rear end in a top hat, even if you do that before the divorce.
For a modern woman, divorce is the best damned government program there ever was. If you have sisters or daughters, you should recommend they start planning for divorce early. The best path is to marry someone mildly successful, have a bunch of kids with him, gently caress his boss, then divorce in order to have the (ex) husband pay them to give his kids to his boss, who will fire him. Any proper divorce plan should involve the wife not getting a job or contributing anything meaningful to the marriage. The more the husband takes care of her during the marriage, the more alimony he will owe her while she is living with his boss who fired him who she started loving while they are married. Now in your case, though, even though you took care of him more than he took care of you, you won't have to give him any alimony. Family courts hate men. If you're a woman, you get more the more you were taken care of. but if you're a man you will only get share in accordance with what you should be able to produce. So if you did nothing for him during the marriage you'd be a poor housewife who he needs to take care of forever. But if he did nothing for you and you took care of him, the court will just say he is capable of earning millions and if he hasn't it's because he is a loser. Basically, you won't have to give him poo poo.
Now if you have sons and brothers, just slice off their genitilia and give them a brochure to a monastery. It's the only way to survive. Marriage is death. Your husband is about to find that out. He'll be owing you money for the rest of his life and give you everything he ever had even though you make more money than he does and are more successful than he is.
Anyway, you've decided you don't like him anymore. You are going to divorce. You are about to go through a wonderful journey in which you are about to find out that you are an omnipotent goddess. Your husband's soul is going to be ripped out of his body and poo poo on. He'll probably commit suicide, frankly. Don't believe his threats. They are a product of him actually believing that he is a human being and actually has some sort of hope for his future. However, he is only a male. Not a human. North American Grey Wolves have a higher status in the eyes of the law than he does. Deep down inside he may suspect the fact that his life is about to be over in any meaningful sense, and his threats are a deluded result of his belief that he has options and hope. The universe itself is designed to protect you from him. You, however, are free to abuse him in every way imaginable and nobody will give a poo poo.
Isn't SA for games and stuff? I am trying to figure these forums out.
Lol. This is your fetish, isn't it?
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May 4, 2016 15:25
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- Gumbel2Gumbel
- Apr 28, 2010
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Hahahahaha, that post gets so much better if you read it like Quint from Jaws giving his speech about seeing people eaten by sharks.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9S41Kplsbs
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May 4, 2016 16:11
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- Cough Drop The Beat
- Jan 22, 2012
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by Lowtax
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Do you have kids? If you have kids, divorce should be the most painful thing imaginable. At least it was for me. Though most people I have met that have divorced with children really don't know or give a gently caress what it does to kids because, well, most people are psychopathic, and chances are, you are too. However, if you do have kids, it's a different matter than if you don't.
You will destroy him in every way because you are female and family courts hate males. Chances are, your favorite position is in the missionary position and you've never once thought of someone else during sex. Chances are, he has. Therefore, you will win. The thing about having an ex is that there is someone out there who you loved with all your heart. Who you told every secret to. Who knows every weakness you have. Who hates you. As insinuated by my previous sexual statement, though, and along with the things you have said, it's quite likely that you have never had a dirty thought. You've never stole a bubble gum in your life. You don't swear. You don't like it up the butt. Yet he, more than likely, has many failings, drugs, affairs, kinks, embarrassing moments, enemies, etc. Therefore, when you divorce, you will destroy him. You'll be telling his mom about that time he asked you to go to a swinger club. You'll tell his boss he is a porn addict. You'll tell his future finance he's secretly gay. I'd say you'd have sex with all his friends, who'd bang you in a heartbeat, while none of your friends would touch him with a ten foot pole, however, you'd never do anything like that because you are goody two shoes.
If you do have kids, Uncle Sam will make him pay you to take them away from him. It won't matter if you cheat on him and told his kids to call another man daddy or anything. Uncle Sam is absolutely convinced that every father should pay their ex to take his kids away and give them to some other rear end in a top hat, even if you do that before the divorce.
For a modern woman, divorce is the best damned government program there ever was. If you have sisters or daughters, you should recommend they start planning for divorce early. The best path is to marry someone mildly successful, have a bunch of kids with him, gently caress his boss, then divorce in order to have the (ex) husband pay them to give his kids to his boss, who will fire him. Any proper divorce plan should involve the wife not getting a job or contributing anything meaningful to the marriage. The more the husband takes care of her during the marriage, the more alimony he will owe her while she is living with his boss who fired him who she started loving while they are married. Now in your case, though, even though you took care of him more than he took care of you, you won't have to give him any alimony. Family courts hate men. If you're a woman, you get more the more you were taken care of. but if you're a man you will only get share in accordance with what you should be able to produce. So if you did nothing for him during the marriage you'd be a poor housewife who he needs to take care of forever. But if he did nothing for you and you took care of him, the court will just say he is capable of earning millions and if he hasn't it's because he is a loser. Basically, you won't have to give him poo poo.
Now if you have sons and brothers, just slice off their genitilia and give them a brochure to a monastery. It's the only way to survive. Marriage is death. Your husband is about to find that out. He'll be owing you money for the rest of his life and give you everything he ever had even though you make more money than he does and are more successful than he is.
Anyway, you've decided you don't like him anymore. You are going to divorce. You are about to go through a wonderful journey in which you are about to find out that you are an omnipotent goddess. Your husband's soul is going to be ripped out of his body and poo poo on. He'll probably commit suicide, frankly. Don't believe his threats. They are a product of him actually believing that he is a human being and actually has some sort of hope for his future. However, he is only a male. Not a human. North American Grey Wolves have a higher status in the eyes of the law than he does. Deep down inside he may suspect the fact that his life is about to be over in any meaningful sense, and his threats are a deluded result of his belief that he has options and hope. The universe itself is designed to protect you from him. You, however, are free to abuse him in every way imaginable and nobody will give a poo poo.
Isn't SA for games and stuff? I am trying to figure these forums out.
My life has been immeasurably improved by this brilliant post. 
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May 4, 2016 21:31
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- Railing Kill
- Nov 14, 2008
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You are the first crack in the sheer face of god. From you it will spread.
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Do you have kids? If you have kids, divorce should be the most painful thing imaginable. At least it was for me. Though most people I have met that have divorced with children really don't know or give a gently caress what it does to kids because, well, most people are psychopathic, and chances are, you are too. However, if you do have kids, it's a different matter than if you don't.
You will destroy him in every way because you are female and family courts hate males. Chances are, your favorite position is in the missionary position and you've never once thought of someone else during sex. Chances are, he has. Therefore, you will win. The thing about having an ex is that there is someone out there who you loved with all your heart. Who you told every secret to. Who knows every weakness you have. Who hates you. As insinuated by my previous sexual statement, though, and along with the things you have said, it's quite likely that you have never had a dirty thought. You've never stole a bubble gum in your life. You don't swear. You don't like it up the butt. Yet he, more than likely, has many failings, drugs, affairs, kinks, embarrassing moments, enemies, etc. Therefore, when you divorce, you will destroy him. You'll be telling his mom about that time he asked you to go to a swinger club. You'll tell his boss he is a porn addict. You'll tell his future finance he's secretly gay. I'd say you'd have sex with all his friends, who'd bang you in a heartbeat, while none of your friends would touch him with a ten foot pole, however, you'd never do anything like that because you are goody two shoes.
If you do have kids, Uncle Sam will make him pay you to take them away from him. It won't matter if you cheat on him and told his kids to call another man daddy or anything. Uncle Sam is absolutely convinced that every father should pay their ex to take his kids away and give them to some other rear end in a top hat, even if you do that before the divorce.
For a modern woman, divorce is the best damned government program there ever was. If you have sisters or daughters, you should recommend they start planning for divorce early. The best path is to marry someone mildly successful, have a bunch of kids with him, gently caress his boss, then divorce in order to have the (ex) husband pay them to give his kids to his boss, who will fire him. Any proper divorce plan should involve the wife not getting a job or contributing anything meaningful to the marriage. The more the husband takes care of her during the marriage, the more alimony he will owe her while she is living with his boss who fired him who she started loving while they are married. Now in your case, though, even though you took care of him more than he took care of you, you won't have to give him any alimony. Family courts hate men. If you're a woman, you get more the more you were taken care of. but if you're a man you will only get share in accordance with what you should be able to produce. So if you did nothing for him during the marriage you'd be a poor housewife who he needs to take care of forever. But if he did nothing for you and you took care of him, the court will just say he is capable of earning millions and if he hasn't it's because he is a loser. Basically, you won't have to give him poo poo.
Now if you have sons and brothers, just slice off their genitilia and give them a brochure to a monastery. It's the only way to survive. Marriage is death. Your husband is about to find that out. He'll be owing you money for the rest of his life and give you everything he ever had even though you make more money than he does and are more successful than he is.
Anyway, you've decided you don't like him anymore. You are going to divorce. You are about to go through a wonderful journey in which you are about to find out that you are an omnipotent goddess. Your husband's soul is going to be ripped out of his body and poo poo on. He'll probably commit suicide, frankly. Don't believe his threats. They are a product of him actually believing that he is a human being and actually has some sort of hope for his future. However, he is only a male. Not a human. North American Grey Wolves have a higher status in the eyes of the law than he does. Deep down inside he may suspect the fact that his life is about to be over in any meaningful sense, and his threats are a deluded result of his belief that he has options and hope. The universe itself is designed to protect you from him. You, however, are free to abuse him in every way imaginable and nobody will give a poo poo.
Isn't SA for games and stuff? I am trying to figure these forums out.
Shine on, you crazy diamond. 
But more to the point for the OP:
Def lawyer up. You're going to need legal counsel for more than just his unwillingness to get a divorce. I haven't been divorced myself, but my parents went through it when I was younger. They had about as amicable divorce as they come, and even they needed lawyers just to sort out the property bullshit. With your husband being unwilling, it's going to make everything that much more difficult.
But don't ever feel ashamed or guity for what you're doing. It sounds like he's already threatening you with poo poo and you haven't even started down the road yet. It's going to get worse. He's going to drag his feet, threaten you some more, and guilt-trip you about everything. Don't buy it. It would be a nice world if you could stay loyal and help see him through whatever he's facing, but that's not the world we live in. If he's not willing to help himself, and not willing to offer you the same loyalty that you offer him, then gently caress him (just not literally). My point is: don't get hoodwinked into sacrificing your own happiness and self-respect for the sake of someone who doesn't deserve it. I've known two people who have wasted literally years of their lives trying to fix unfixable marriages to people that (IMO) didn't deserve nearly as much from the relationship as they were given. I don't know anything about you, but I'm willing to bet you deserve better than being married to a drug addict who is unwilling to give you basic respect.
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May 5, 2016 12:43
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- Nostalgia4Infinity
- Feb 27, 2007
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10,000 YEARS WASN'T ENOUGH LURKING
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Bahahahahahahaha
Did he share the screed that got him mocked?
E: lol of course he didn't.
Nostalgia4Infinity fucked around with this message at 15:59 on May 5, 2016
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May 5, 2016 15:49
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- Polybius91
- Jun 4, 2012
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Cobrastan is not a real country.
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Do you have kids? If you have kids, divorce should be the most painful thing imaginable. At least it was for me. Though most people I have met that have divorced with children really don't know or give a gently caress what it does to kids because, well, most people are psychopathic, and chances are, you are too. However, if you do have kids, it's a different matter than if you don't.
You will destroy him in every way because you are female and family courts hate males. Chances are, your favorite position is in the missionary position and you've never once thought of someone else during sex. Chances are, he has. Therefore, you will win. The thing about having an ex is that there is someone out there who you loved with all your heart. Who you told every secret to. Who knows every weakness you have. Who hates you. As insinuated by my previous sexual statement, though, and along with the things you have said, it's quite likely that you have never had a dirty thought. You've never stole a bubble gum in your life. You don't swear. You don't like it up the butt. Yet he, more than likely, has many failings, drugs, affairs, kinks, embarrassing moments, enemies, etc. Therefore, when you divorce, you will destroy him. You'll be telling his mom about that time he asked you to go to a swinger club. You'll tell his boss he is a porn addict. You'll tell his future finance he's secretly gay. I'd say you'd have sex with all his friends, who'd bang you in a heartbeat, while none of your friends would touch him with a ten foot pole, however, you'd never do anything like that because you are goody two shoes.
If you do have kids, Uncle Sam will make him pay you to take them away from him. It won't matter if you cheat on him and told his kids to call another man daddy or anything. Uncle Sam is absolutely convinced that every father should pay their ex to take his kids away and give them to some other rear end in a top hat, even if you do that before the divorce.
For a modern woman, divorce is the best damned government program there ever was. If you have sisters or daughters, you should recommend they start planning for divorce early. The best path is to marry someone mildly successful, have a bunch of kids with him, gently caress his boss, then divorce in order to have the (ex) husband pay them to give his kids to his boss, who will fire him. Any proper divorce plan should involve the wife not getting a job or contributing anything meaningful to the marriage. The more the husband takes care of her during the marriage, the more alimony he will owe her while she is living with his boss who fired him who she started loving while they are married. Now in your case, though, even though you took care of him more than he took care of you, you won't have to give him any alimony. Family courts hate men. If you're a woman, you get more the more you were taken care of. but if you're a man you will only get share in accordance with what you should be able to produce. So if you did nothing for him during the marriage you'd be a poor housewife who he needs to take care of forever. But if he did nothing for you and you took care of him, the court will just say he is capable of earning millions and if he hasn't it's because he is a loser. Basically, you won't have to give him poo poo.
Now if you have sons and brothers, just slice off their genitilia and give them a brochure to a monastery. It's the only way to survive. Marriage is death. Your husband is about to find that out. He'll be owing you money for the rest of his life and give you everything he ever had even though you make more money than he does and are more successful than he is.
Anyway, you've decided you don't like him anymore. You are going to divorce. You are about to go through a wonderful journey in which you are about to find out that you are an omnipotent goddess. Your husband's soul is going to be ripped out of his body and poo poo on. He'll probably commit suicide, frankly. Don't believe his threats. They are a product of him actually believing that he is a human being and actually has some sort of hope for his future. However, he is only a male. Not a human. North American Grey Wolves have a higher status in the eyes of the law than he does. Deep down inside he may suspect the fact that his life is about to be over in any meaningful sense, and his threats are a deluded result of his belief that he has options and hope. The universe itself is designed to protect you from him. You, however, are free to abuse him in every way imaginable and nobody will give a poo poo.
Isn't SA for games and stuff? I am trying to figure these forums out.
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May 5, 2016 16:50
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- green chicken feet
- Nov 5, 2015
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spray-paint the vegetables
dog food stalls
with the beefcake pantyhose
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Grimey Drawer
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I am an adult. They are not. I got rid of my account because I’m incompatible with the culture of those forums. I wrote this post because I wanted people to know that SA is far baser than the Reddit, and far worse than the worst aspects of /r/Eve. They are more than welcome to make as much from my 2 days there as they want. I don’t care in the slightest. I signed up because I was interested in Mittens’ claims that the Reddit was immature and that their forums were better. This was yet another falsehood. I was curious about the Goon culture based on the showing that DJ has been making. I decided to check it out. I was able to confirm that Goons are indeed what they are made out to be. There is nothing left for me to do there. So I unsubbed. They can call it rage quit if they want and think they are great because they made me rage quit if they want. I don’t see things that way, but I am certainly not entertaining a plan to try to get through to Goons. As you said, Goons are trolls. There’s no point in engaging with that, and I don’t see myself posting there.
People are mocking you not because they're trolls but because the rant you posted is so off-topic and delusional it's comical. Get mental help. Do it before you cause irreparable harm in your own life or anyone else's. I am not a doctor, but you seem dangerously out of touch with reality. In all seriousness - GET HELP.
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May 5, 2016 17:24
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- many johnnys
- May 17, 2015
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People are mocking you not because they're trolls but because the rant you posted is so off-topic and delusional it's comical. Get mental help. Do it before you cause irreparable harm in your own life or anyone else's. I am not a doctor, but you seem dangerously out of touch with reality. In all seriousness - GET HELP.
He's not reading this, he posts on a different spaceship forum now.
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May 5, 2016 17:36
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- green chicken feet
- Nov 5, 2015
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spray-paint the vegetables
dog food stalls
with the beefcake pantyhose
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Grimey Drawer
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He's not reading this, he posts on a different spaceship forum now.
Oh well. Sometimes I hear about tragedies and wonder if they could have been prevented. Probably not, short of Baker Acting someone... especially if his reaction when faced with disagreement is to search for a more comfortable echo chamber.
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May 5, 2016 18:15
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- Anil Dikshit
- Apr 11, 2007
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I am an adult. They are not. I got rid of my account because I’m incompatible with the culture of those forums. I wrote this post because I wanted people to know that SA is far baser than the Reddit, and far worse than the worst aspects of /r/Eve. They are more than welcome to make as much from my 2 days there as they want. I don’t care in the slightest. I signed up because I was interested in Mittens’ claims that the Reddit was immature and that their forums were better. This was yet another falsehood. I was curious about the Goon culture based on the showing that DJ has been making. I decided to check it out. I was able to confirm that Goons are indeed what they are made out to be. There is nothing left for me to do there. So I unsubbed. They can call it rage quit if they want and think they are great because they made me rage quit if they want. I don’t see things that way, but I am certainly not entertaining a plan to try to get through to Goons. As you said, Goons are trolls. There’s no point in engaging with that, and I don’t see myself posting there.
So, you did the needful and posted his screed, right, buddy?
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May 5, 2016 18:25
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- Holyshoot
- May 6, 2010
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I am an adult. They are not. I got rid of my account because I’m incompatible with the culture of those forums. I wrote this post because I wanted people to know that SA is far baser than the Reddit, and far worse than the worst aspects of /r/Eve. They are more than welcome to make as much from my 2 days there as they want. I don’t care in the slightest. I signed up because I was interested in Mittens’ claims that the Reddit was immature and that their forums were better. This was yet another falsehood. I was curious about the Goon culture based on the showing that DJ has been making. I decided to check it out. I was able to confirm that Goons are indeed what they are made out to be. There is nothing left for me to do there. So I unsubbed. They can call it rage quit if they want and think they are great because they made me rage quit if they want. I don’t see things that way, but I am certainly not entertaining a plan to try to get through to Goons. As you said, Goons are trolls. There’s no point in engaging with that, and I don’t see myself posting there.
Post link to this please!!!!
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May 5, 2016 19:28
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- Jared592
- Jan 23, 2003
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JARED NUMBERS: BACK IN ACTION
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Post link to this please!!!!
https://janirvam.wordpress.com/2016/05/03/just-awful/
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May 5, 2016 20:30
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- HappyKitty
- Jul 11, 2005
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Man Going His Own Way Among The Stars
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May 5, 2016 20:32
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- sk3l3tor
- Aug 15, 2014
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Lol. This is your fetish, isn't it?
This is MY fetish
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May 5, 2016 22:23
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- Horsies_Are_Pretty
- May 21, 2015
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This is bitter and over-the-top, but about 80% true.
Seek therapy to discover why you married an addict shitbag instead of someone normal. Your first marriage is hosed, it'll be over soon, if you have no kids the divorce won't be that bad and it'll all be over soon. The biggest favor you could do yourself is to find out why you married this a-hole and figure out how not to do it again in a few more years.
same. realtalk tho, been there and yeah ive been making changes because a normal person would not be in a relationship with someone like that.
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May 5, 2016 22:31
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- DLAO
- Dec 20, 2004
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Firstly, I am so, so sorry things worked out this way.
You definitely need a lawyer ASAP. If any paycheks, etc. are going into a joint account change that now. Compile any and all documents you have regarding any legal, financial, et al claims and allegations against him from before and during your marriage (in case he tries to claim he brought assets into the marriage). Listen to photomikey too.
And (in a not lovely way) definitely talk to a counselor, therapist, etc. - even though leaving is clearly the correct choice ending a marriage is still rough.
brb, posting on my blog about these poo poo rear end SA forums.
Edit: OP I'm glad you've got a solid direction in terms of your divorce. I'm trying to keep on topic but that had pretty much gotten hosed on the first reply.
I've reread this every single time the thread quoted it and it only got funnier each time
Thanks. I reached out to a lawyer so far. We've emailed a few times. I feel so sad about this, but I do enjoy the craziness going on in this thread. It makes me laugh every time someone quotes the first responder.
I was wavering a bit; a few people have told me to maybe slow down my thinking-- this is an illness, a problem. Do I really want to let go of someone who I love and not be there in his time of need... it made me feel really selfish for a hot second... Until he started referring to me as "Bitch" and telling me I deserve to be treated like poo poo because I am a worthless Bitch who treats him like poo poo because I wouldn't roll over and give him sex. Yeah. Felt less bad about that then. Life's too short to be miserable.
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May 6, 2016 04:41
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- Hogge Wild
- Aug 21, 2012
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by FactsAreUseless
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Pillbug
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thanks!
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May 6, 2016 09:27
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- Ms Boods
- Mar 19, 2009
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Did you ever wonder where the Romans got bread from? It wasn't from Waitrose!
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I was wavering a bit; a few people have told me to maybe slow down my thinking-- this is an illness, a problem. Do I really want to let go of someone who I love and not be there in his time of need... it made me feel really selfish for a hot second... Until he started referring to me as "Bitch" and telling me I deserve to be treated like poo poo because I am a worthless Bitch who treats him like poo poo because I wouldn't roll over and give him sex. Yeah. Felt less bad about that then. Life's too short to be miserable.
My own tuppence: please don't let these people wear you down. I got similar poo poo when my (prescription)-drug addicted, increasingly delusional ex was trying to gaslight me and was physically and mentally abusing me. Even when he made no secret about sleeping around on me by that point, I still had people going, 'Hmmm, maybe it's somehow YOUR fault.'
He was also another winner who insisted that we didn't need any lawyers; he drew up a list of conditions for me to leave which included him graciously giving me $100 a month for a year to 'get back on my feet' (keeping in mine this was a dude who wouldn't let me work while we were married and who had the house and all finances in his own name). I couldn't even get a min wage job in the small town where we lived because everyone knew everyone else, and he was a Respected Citizen who managed to poison the well for me.
Even after I filed for divorce and was going through the hell of him dragging it out (a no-fault divorce that should have been done and dusted in six months dragged on for four years while he tried to bankrupt me by not turning up to court appearances, kept taking out credit cards in my name and letting his girlfriend run them up into $1000s, &c), I had people telling me that I should just ask his forgiveness and get back together with him. Among that group of people was my own mum.
And no, I didn't get all of the property or 'alimony' (I think it's called something else these days) -- I got a modest 'spousal support' each month for 18 months, on which he got a tax break, and I had to pay a fuckton of extra taxes on. I also got a $14,000 Visa card bill because that card was in my name, even though he and his girlfriend rackd up the charges on it. He kept the house and property, and after living in my car briefly, I ended up in a magical ghetto apartment complex for a few years while I hustled to get things on track professionally and financially.
I lost almost a decade dealing with this guy's poo poo from the breakdown of the marriage through to finally getting the divorce papers. BUT in the end, I kept my head down, and I got away. He's still circling the drain back in the US and has his girlfriend of the month stalk me online. I live on another continent now, have a sometimes aggravating but sometimes quite rewarding job, and am married to someone else who is a bit bonkers, but in a  way.
You have some rough weather ahead, but get lawyered up, and that will be the start of getting the hell out of a bad situation and into a much better place.
Also, someone needs to do the right thing, and make a complementary dramatic reading of that amazing screed in Quint's manner 
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May 6, 2016 10:24
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- Pomp
- Apr 3, 2012
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by Fluffdaddy
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I was wavering a bit; a few people have told me to maybe slow down my thinking-- this is an illness, a problem. Do I really want to let go of someone who I love and not be there in his time of need... it made me feel really selfish for a hot second... Until he started referring to me as "Bitch" and telling me I deserve to be treated like poo poo because I am a worthless Bitch who treats him like poo poo because I wouldn't roll over and give him sex. Yeah. Felt less bad about that then. Life's too short to be miserable.
actually you should murder him
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May 6, 2016 10:58
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Apr 25, 2024 13:20
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May 4, 2016 00:39
to come and entertain us.
wacko.
