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simplefish posted:Bit of a specialist request, this one - but do you think you would be able to source an Agar Aguardian? Pssst. C'mere. Yes, the alley behind the slime store. I heard you wanted Agar Aguardians? I, uh, might be able to hook you up with some nether cubes if you're looking for a little upgrade to your agars. I also know a guy who can get you cosbian horrors cheap, but I need to check if his slick side-business ended well; poor bastard is probably half dissolved from handling the drat things. Also got one or two of those pectinous tesseracts in storage, but I don't want to part with those unless you give me a drat good offer.
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May 6, 2016 19:24
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 Welcome to Ted's Discount Slime Warehouse, purveyor of the world's finest slimes!!  We've got slimes of every color! Luxurious shiny slimes will make you feel like a billionaire without having to spend a fortune!! Buy a slime for your wife, for your boss, and for your friends! Or just buy more slime for yourself. One can never have enough slime!  Glow in the dark slime provides an out-of-this-world feel when you turn out the lights!  Even though all our slime is non-toxic, please keep it away from infants under the age of 6 and animals. And for the love of god do not gently caress the slime!!  Please, do not stick your dick into the slime. Do not put the slime inside yourself via any orifice. I just started this business to sell a fun product, why do you people keep turning it into a sex thing? I reserve the right to kick anyone I suspect is a slime fetishist out of my shop.  Please...This is a family establishment. There are children here.  So come on down and enter a world of ooey-gooey fun! Located off the I-5 at Atlantic Blvd North, open daily from 8 am to 8 pm. Don't gently caress my slime!
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May 6, 2016 20:13
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OP, do you by any chance have some kind of compatibility chart for slimes and other dungeon denizens? I wouldn't want to put a slime in the same area as a Rust Monster or Mimic only to discover that one of them is the natural predator of the other; the last thing I need is some smartass adventurer leading my minions into conflict with each other.
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May 6, 2016 20:35
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bowser posted:
I came.
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May 6, 2016 22:10
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I wanted to make some gelatinous cubes, but I wanted to be extra creative and add poo poo into them to look cool. I was think about arranging a cool diarama inside a glass cube and pouring a slime in and sealing it. I just have a few questions about the nitty gritty 1- what kind of slime would be best for a black light to pass through without been completely clear 2- how long do I have to keep said slime sealed before it keeps it's cubic shape forever? Do I have to put it in the freezer or something? Since this is my first time I was just going to start with a 2"x2"x2" cube
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May 6, 2016 22:22
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Tuxedo Catfish posted:OP, do you by any chance have some kind of compatibility chart for slimes and other dungeon denizens? I wouldn't want to put a slime in the same area as a Rust Monster or Mimic only to discover that one of them is the natural predator of the other; the last thing I need is some smartass adventurer leading my minions into conflict with each other. You can avoid most slime on slime predation in your home Eco system with a handful of live hamsters, just toss them in the corners and add some alphalpa pellets to keep them plump. Your slimes will keep in good shape going after them and (mostly) not each other
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May 7, 2016 00:59
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bowser posted:
I tell you this, the world is becoming a very drab and mundane place after the defeat of Xagyg, The King of Magic. Very drab indeed.
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May 7, 2016 02:30
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anyone remember that guy in Ultima Online that created thousands of slimes in his house and threatened to release them upon the game world if his demands were not met?
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May 7, 2016 02:54
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Maybe you can fix that, owner: I need a God* Slime ASAP to start summoning my lord Y'th'al'qurash'niz'gonzal, He of the Thousand Hell-Swamps, for... Reasons. *will accept Demigod-tier slime as a last resort
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May 7, 2016 02:55
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So what exactly is slime waste and how does one dispose of it? Everything that consumes creates waste.
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May 7, 2016 04:40
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Automatic Slim posted:So what exactly is slime waste and how does one dispose of it? Everything that consumes creates waste. Slime waste is just, more slime (they get bigger)
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May 7, 2016 04:43
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You could call the slime trail they leave behind when they slime around around "waste" but it just evaporates into the atmosphere of your basement, and gets reabsorbed- which is why optimal ookiness is so important to attracting slimes, optimally to attract them it should already smell a lot like feet and butts
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May 7, 2016 04:45
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So do different slimes/colors have different personalties?
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May 7, 2016 05:02
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Automatic Slim posted:So do different slimes/colors have different personalties? Yes there's grue, cobalt, flesh, acid, wicked lime, blue raspberry, diet cola, kiwi-cherry and NEW pomegranate-goji berry
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May 7, 2016 05:20
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Do you have any slimes with microbeads? I need to protect my treasure but I also want my skin to look fabulous.
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May 7, 2016 05:48
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I would never think of doing this, but if someone were to, say, extract about an ounce of weed into some cannabutter and mix it in with a green slime using an egg beater for 3-5 minutes and then batter the slime and deep fry it until it got golden brown and crispy, then sprinkle it with powdered sugar and eat it... would that person be ok? I mean, like, physically, not morally
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May 7, 2016 05:49
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BigwigML posted:Do you have any slimes with microbeads? I need to protect my treasure but I also want my skin to look fabulous. Not only will it exfoliate your skin, it will also work as a great chemical peel! Your skin will be as soft as a baby's bottom. If it grows back that is.
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May 7, 2016 06:47
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We are clear on the fact that slimes, oozes, and jellies eat organic matter, right? This isn't some Ghostbusters "He slimed me", bullshit.
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May 7, 2016 08:34
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Enophos fucked around with this message at 09:54 on Jun 23, 2016 |
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May 7, 2016 08:37
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*wears a Make Imperia Great Again tricorn hat, refuses slime service to an Elvish couple*
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May 7, 2016 13:17
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Automatic Slim posted:We are clear on the fact that slimes, oozes, and jellies eat organic matter, right? This isn't some Ghostbusters "He slimed me", bullshit. It is generally safe to assume that a given gelatinous creature is acidic or alkaline enough to cause mild to moderate chemical burns on exposed flesh. There are rumors of magically altered jellies that are pH neutral, crafted by deviant artificers. The likelihood of encountering such creatures in the wild is highly improbable, as they would not be able to feed or defend against predation.
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May 7, 2016 13:43
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super macho dude posted:*wears a Make Imperia Great Again tricorn hat, refuses slime service to an Elvish couple* Say what you will about the Mad Wizard King Ultara, but he understands it's always elves who buy slimes, skeleton armies and goblin tribes from the circus and then try to reintroduce them to the wild, but as always those things always end up getting beaten out for land and resources by Bugbears, Orcs and Gnolls so they're forced to break in to cellars of farms and inns or even worse, the servers under the city and no e have to spend taxpayer gold to get them rooted out again so they stop killing farmhands and sewer workers.
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May 7, 2016 13:48
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super macho dude posted:What manner of sorcery is this? Slimes that do not kill, suffocate, disintegrate, melt, or devour the flesh of mortal creatures and foolish treasure seeking adventurers? All of our slimes are produced ethically, using 100% natural ingredients scavenged from sewers, dungeons, and crypts. The allegations that we engage in any sort of monster-cruelty are completely false! bowser fucked around with this message at 15:04 on May 7, 2016 |
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May 7, 2016 14:55
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Does anyone know a good slime behaviorist? I received a small low level slime as a gift but I guess it didn't like the environment of my lair because it decided to nest in my lungs. It really loving burns and I can't get it to come out.
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May 7, 2016 15:32
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Do you sell a version of those little slime hands that don't become fuzzy and useless after five minutes?
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May 7, 2016 17:23
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What we need is a Sorcerer-King who truly understands the danger presented by Pit Slimes and bans them for good! Sure, any average slime will burn and attempt to dissolve you if you enrage it - but pit slimes are magically conjured to kill, with no other purpose. Urban wizards and witches should not be buying these killing machines to get rid of a few giant rats in their basement; it is negligence at its worst!
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May 7, 2016 18:30
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lol why would you let pit slimes out of their pit? though tbh any halfway decent pitfall hazard needs a fair bit of maintenance. spikes arent very useful unless you get like, vorpal spikes or some such twee bespoke poo poo.
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May 7, 2016 18:40
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I'm looking to outfit my slimes with uzis, they have been asking
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May 7, 2016 18:46
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My pit slime is very friendly and a nice addition to my family. It's literally scared of rats, and not like dire rats or greater rats just regular rats. It's a real baby. It does have a negative pH but with proper training that isn't an issue.
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May 7, 2016 18:49
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Germstore posted:My pit slime is very friendly and a nice addition to my family. It's literally scared of rats, and not like dire rats or greater rats just regular rats. It's a real baby. It does have a negative pH but with proper training that isn't an issue. That's actually ok. Use your pit slime as a sanitation tool. Let it eat all the organic refuse and the rats and vermin won't bother your domain any way.
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May 7, 2016 18:55
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Booblord Zagats posted:Working for different kinds of wizards teaches you things. Like anyone who calls themselves "A Magus" is always a huge tool. They're the ones who change the friggin floorplan 4 times a week when you're already building and then throw a huge fit when you try to explain that the base isn't large enough to support the weight of the extra floors of their tower, but force you to do it anyway and then try to take you to court when the king's inspectors condemn the building a few months later. I hear ya on that. I do contract work on the other side of the continent, and while we get all kinds over here, you can't swing a dead kobold without hitting five conjurers. Except that instead of the undead, conjurers want to gently caress anything from the other planes they can get their hands on. Its pretty bad when one summons something they can't control and it rends them into a thousand little bits. At least the necromancers will have the carrion crows to clean up the mess. Ever smell a week-old dead conjurer? I've had to start factoring in pomander costs into my fees its so bad.
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May 7, 2016 18:58
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Even the best trained pit slime (hah! Good luck training a mindless killing machine) in the best dug pit is one plump halfling adventurer away from overflowing and running amok in your lair.
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May 7, 2016 21:29
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I mean if you've got a halfling infestation you've got bigger problems than slimes, those guys have been running amok ever since we banned DDT
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May 7, 2016 21:44
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naem posted:I mean if you've got a halfling infestation you've got bigger problems than slimes, those guys have been running amok ever since we banned DDT Mad Wizard King Ultara: We're gonna build a wall. A really really great wall around the border of the Halfling Kingdom. I'm a great artificer. What do I best in life, I build dangerous magical artifacts. Your infrastructure is crumbling. Isn't it nice to have a artificer? A real artificer. So you take precast plank. It comes 30 feet long, 40 feet long, 50 feet long. You see the great trade route roads where they can span 50, 60 feet, even longer than that, right? And do you a beautiful nice precast plank with beautiful everything. Just perfect. I want it to be so beautiful because maybe someday they'll call it The Ultara Wall. Maybe. So I have to make sure it's beautiful, right? I'll be very proud of that wall. If they call it this The Ultara Wall, it has to be beautiful. And you put that plank up and you dig your footings. And you put that plank up -- there's no ladder going over that. If halflings ever go up there, they're in trouble, because there's no way to get down. Maybe a teleportation spell?
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May 8, 2016 01:22
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Do you pray to the Flying Slime Monster? Have you been touched by his gooey mass? Embrace his stickiness and be dissolved in heavenly glory! 
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May 8, 2016 02:09
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Slooorp slooorp slooorp fsssh glortch Slooorp slooorp slooorp
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May 8, 2016 04:39
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When are they gonna bring back The Stuff? I wonder if there is a warehouse of new old stock around somewhere...poo poo, what was the shelf life on a tub? Maybe Amazon will bring it back.
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May 8, 2016 05:09
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