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 Happy Mother’s Day, Rowdy Ringsports! To celebrate, let’s watch 290-pound factory-produced steroid monsters kick the poo poo out of each other in Rotterdam with UFC Fight Night: Overeem vs. Arlovski,2 p.m. ET Sunday, May 8 on Fox Sports 1! Thankfully this is a TV card so you can DVR the fights and watch after you’re done spending time with the woman who raised you, you ungrateful shits  While it might seem to the casual viewer that the UFC is full of big surly macho men who are too busy bleedin’ to care about their mamas, nothing could be further from the truth. Each and every slugger on this card has a very special relationship with that very special woman in their life, so let’s take a look at the fighters this weekend! Heavyweight  Alistair Overeem vs.  Andrei “Pitbull” Arlovski Alistair Overeem is a street-tough Dutch kickboxer, but that doesn’t mean he can’t take time out for his mom. In fact, when he was training for his long-anticipated UFC debut against Brock Lesnar, he changed up his training camp entirely so he could return to Holland and take care of his mother as she battled cancer. And even though he proved he was powerful enough to knee the former champ’s surgically-repaired guts into their natural state of unprocessed venison, he proved you never get too big to need your mom after: when the mysterious pee collector reared his ugly head, Overeem jumped right in the ocean and swam all the way back to Holland that very night to hide behind Clair Overeem’s skirt. Arlovski’s second title aspirations have tragically been squandered at the hands of Stipe Miocic, but he has looked very impressive exactly half the time in his current UFC run. The most noteworthy performance of his came against former BFF Travis Browne, with whom he had the goon-consensus round of the year in 2015. He also said beating his buddy up like that “felt like punching his mother or father,” which implies that while he might not like it, he would totally beat up his mom for a paycheck. Happy mother’s day, Mrs. Arlovski! Heavyweight  Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva vs.  Stefan “Skyscraper” Struve Bigfoot Silva remembers his mom holding him on the day he was created like it was only yesterday. Her white squiggly shocks of hair on prominent display as the the Rio humidity caused her to frizz. The delicate stitching of her neck. Her gentle crooning lullaby warning him of the dangers of fire. And while it was the mad scientist Dr. Marcio Tannure who stitched Bigfoot back into one piece following his KO loss to Mark Hunt in Australia, it was Mama Bigfoot who nursed him back to health by stealing berries and soups from local blind hermits who mistook her foreboding presence for that of a gentle mute’s. Stefan Struve has also learned a great deal from his mother over the years. In fact, his mother was considered as something of a nurturing mother to his entire sleepy hamlet of Beverwijk. She could easily pick the sweetest lingonberries that grew atop the hills without anyone having to climb them, and the villagers all knew that if they saw Mrs. Struve start to scramble and run away, there was some nearby threat to the other livestock that they themselves could not yet see. Many a sheep have been spared from wolfpacks thanks to her constant vigilance. And due to the Ahoy Rotterdam’s retractable roof design, Mrs. Struve can now see her son fight for the first time in his career! Welterweight  Albert “Einstein” Tumenov vs.  Gunnar “Gunni” Nelson Albert Tumenov never saw much of his mother as she spent every waking moment out in the fields, harvesting grain for the motherland. But in between beatings and the beratings that he couldn’t be as productive of a textile manufacturer as his little sister Asiyat, Albert knew that his mother’s hard, calloused hands truly caressed his cheeks with love. It was that strong Balkar upbringing that has made Tumenov a 5-1 UFC welterweight prospect at just 24 years of age. Lot off the heels of a competitive bout with Lorenz Larkin, Tumenov hopes to be on a six-fight winning streak against Gunnar Nelson. Nelson’s upbringing was also considerably rough. An untrained artist and actress, Mrs. Nelson wed Gunnar’s father at just 18 in a shotgun wedding. She and Gunnar’s father appeared together on television and a film or two before she gave birth to Gunnar and his brother a few years later. Gunnar’s parents drifted apart before she kicked his dad out of the house and divorced him following an affair with two Rams cheerleaders. Sadly her career never took off again and she developed a substance abuse problem, setting off a custody dispute over Gunnar’s younger sibling with her brother and — aw gently caress I read the wrong goddamn wikipedia again didn’t I? Women’s Bantamweight  Germaine de Randamie vs.  Anna Elmose 5-3 Dutch kickboxer Germaine de Randamie really loves her mom! Check out what she wrote about her one week ago on Instagram: Happy Birthday to the most amazing woman in this universe my MOM. This amazing woman made me who I am today, I would not been the person that I am without you. Thank you mama for all you love and support your lessons and most importantly for being you and being my mom❤️ I love you with every piece of my heart and soul and I wish you nothing but the very best!! May all your beautiful dreams come true🙏🏻 to many more happy and healthy years to come where we create so many more beautiful memories. I love you mama ❤️ #mom #birthday #utrecht #netherlands #love #family #prouddaughter #teamgermaine  I don’t know enough about Anna Elmose’s mom to even make anything up. Hell, she may BE a mom. The 3-0 Dane is making her UFC debut and hopes to make a name for herself off of a big win over a middling but durable name like de Randamie. She is also apparently a real estate sales coordinator for her day job. Good luck, Anna! Light Heavyweight  Nikita “Miner” Krylov vs.  Francimar Barroso Nikita Krylov has a renewed dedication to his motherland of Ukraine. The breadbasket of the Eastern bloc has nurtured him with its rolling hills of grain, its abandoned nuclear disaster towns and, of course, it’s dark and dangerous coal mines. In a show of solitarity for Ukraine in its difficult time of bloody civil war and political strife, Krylov has changed his nickname to “Miner,” stating “In MMA we have dentist, cowboy but we don't have a miner.” Francimar Barroso was separated from his family as a baby by a plane crash in the Amazon rainforest, where he was raised by eels who gave him his incredible powers of electricity and grunting. He hopes to be reunited with his long-lost mother after winning the tournament. Women’s Strawweight  Karolina Kowalkiewicz vs.  Heather Jo Clark Undefeated Karolina Kowalkiewicz beat my crush Randa Markos in a fight but that’s ok, she seems pretty nice. I hope her mom is proud of her. Heather Jo Clark looks like an airbrushed semi-erotic glamour shot of your mom from 1983 you accidentally found in a photo album tucked away in your closet and can never unsee. OTHER poo poo TO WATCH Fox Sports 1 Prelims, Noon ET Lightweight Rustam Khabilov vs. Chris Wade Middleweight Magnus Cedenblad vs. Garreth McLellan Lightweight Josh Emmett vs. Jon Tuck Lightweight Yan Cabral vs. Reza Madadi Fight Pass Prelims, 10:30 a.m. ET  Flyweight Kyoji Horiguchi vs. Neil Seery Welterweight Leon Edwards vs. Dominic Waters Flyweight Ulka Sasaki vs. Willie Gates Official Weighins, 11:30 a.m. ET Saturday, May 7 http://www.ufc.com/media/fight-night-rotterdam-official-weigh-in Official MMA Snack Rating: Creamy Strawberry Crepes served to your mom for breakfast in bed   Ingredients 3 eggs 1/2 cup milk 1/2 cup water 3 tablespoons butter, melted 3/4 cup all-purpose flour 1/2 teaspoon salt 1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese, softened 1 1/4 cups sifted confectioners' sugar 1 tablespoon lemon juice 1 teaspoon lemon zest 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract 1 cup heavy cream, whipped 4 cups sliced strawberries Directions Place the eggs, milk, water, melted butter, flour, and salt in the pitcher of a blender; blend until smooth. Blend the cream cheese, confectioners' sugar, lemon juice, lemon zest, and vanilla with an electric mixer until smooth. Gently fold in the whipped cream. Heat a lightly oiled griddle or non-stick skillet over medium heat. Pour or scoop the batter onto the griddle, using approximately 2 tablespoons for each crepe. Tip and rotate pan to spread batter as thinly as possible. Flip over when the batter is set and the edges are beginning to brown. Cook until the other side begins to brown. Stack finished crepes on a plate, cover with a damp towel and set aside. To serve, fill each crepe with 1/4 cup sliced strawberries and 1/3 cup of the cream cheese filling, roll up and top with a small dollop of the cream cheese filling and more sliced strawberries. And don’t forget to make your picks in Goonweight!
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May 6, 2016 23:37
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May 6, 2016 23:59
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If you ever leave for greener pastures, I have no idea what we'll do for GDTs. I'll bet your mum is very proud.
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May 7, 2016 00:08
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what a nerd I bet that dude gets beat up all the time
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May 7, 2016 01:02
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Bluedeanie posted:Heather Jo Clark looks like an airbrushed semi-erotic glamour shot of your mom from 1983 you accidentally found in a photo album tucked away in your closet and can never unsee. There no description of Heather Jo Clark more accurate than this one.
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May 7, 2016 01:12
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1. Bluedeanie deserves a raise 2. Mousasi https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-C9lI0t8iec3. Elmose is the fighter that did a curtsey after winning https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=03XGNLtIm98
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May 7, 2016 19:40
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LobsterMobster posted:Elmose is the fighter that did a curtsey after winning She looks loving tiny next to Germaine. I suspect she'll move down to flyweight once that division gets going https://twitter.com/UFCEurope/status/728975899769470978
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May 7, 2016 20:36
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I really, really dislike that fight for Elmose. She's had 3 pro MMA fights against similarly inexperienced European fighters, and while De Randamie's MMA record isn't all that, she's undefeated with like two dozen wins in muay thai. Plus she's like a head taller and a foot longer. I hope she gets through the fight okay and gets to stick around, especially if they'll actually commit to making a flyweight division in the near future.
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May 7, 2016 20:48
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I love deflated Overeem.
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May 7, 2016 21:28
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-C9lI0t8iec&hd=1
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May 7, 2016 21:56
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afatwhiteloaf posted:I love deflated Overeem. Reasonable Reem
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May 7, 2016 22:49
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He expended too much energy and got tired
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hmmm yeah
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May 7, 2016 23:19
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Overeem is in better shape than me, obviously, but it's a shame he's no longer pantastic.
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May 7, 2016 23:40
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speaking of which https://vimeo.com/165676287
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May 7, 2016 23:47
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Triticum Guzzler posted:speaking of which https://vimeo.com/165676287 Wait, why does Overeem have a long running well produced documentary series about himself?
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May 7, 2016 23:52
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Le Saboteur posted:Wait, why does Overeem have a long running well produced documentary series about himself? it rules - watch them all
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May 7, 2016 23:56
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If you're only going to watch one thing from The Reem, make it this. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wKjP2Niu6o
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May 8, 2016 03:16
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I keep forgetting that there's tons of people who haven't seen pantastic body or Bas' defense videos, or Travis Fulton's fight library.
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May 8, 2016 03:24
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HEY NONG MAN posted:I keep forgetting that there's tons of people who haven't seen pantastic body or Bas' defense videos, or Travis Fulton's fight library. You have no idea how upset I am that the black-and-white version of Kongo/Yvel set to old-timey french music appears to have disappeared from the internet.
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May 8, 2016 03:29
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Alistair Overeem's mom is a white guy?
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May 8, 2016 03:51
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Sure, dude
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May 8, 2016 03:55
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Centripetal Horse posted:Alistair Overeem's mom is a white guy? Edgy
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May 8, 2016 04:06
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Alistair Overeem's mother has had it too easy for too long.
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May 8, 2016 04:08
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Dr. Abysmal posted:If you're only going to watch one thing from The Reem, make it this. Please enjoy my higher quality version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wDT1r55vwjM
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May 8, 2016 04:12
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Just goes to show what my pa always used to say; there's a Hassy for everyone out there.
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May 8, 2016 04:14
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fatherdog posted:You have no idea how upset I am that the black-and-white version of Kongo/Yvel set to old-timey french music appears to have disappeared from the internet. This forum has probably collectively spent more time looking for that video than OJ did the Real Killer, or anyone for Bobby Fisher
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May 8, 2016 04:45
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So like three or four hours I guess
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May 8, 2016 04:46
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fatherdog posted:Edgy Genuine first impression.
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May 8, 2016 05:35
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Don't forget your goonweight picks for this weird card from a far off land. http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3766591&pagenumber=3#post459525004
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May 8, 2016 05:38
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maffew buildings posted:This forum has probably collectively spent more time looking for that video than OJ did the Real Killer, or anyone for Bobby Fisher It was made originally by a goon iirc
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May 8, 2016 06:32
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What happened to the 'interesting ways to cool your dog' video?
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May 8, 2016 06:33
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origami posted:What happened to the 'interesting ways to cool your dog' video? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d98FVQuOGjA
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May 8, 2016 06:37
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Triticum Guzzler posted:speaking of which https://vimeo.com/165676287 Overeem training with Wim Hof is insanely... weird? interesting? Like Wim's done a lot of reproducible stuff so I don't think he's a charlatan, but I don't know that whatever he's doing is actually going to be helpful in a fight context.
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May 8, 2016 06:46
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thank you
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May 8, 2016 06:50
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Snowman_McK posted:If you ever leave for greener pastures, I have no idea what we'll do for GDTs. I'll bet your mum is very proud. seriously. i never cared for ops that were anything more than a bare list of fights and where to watch (except for maybe one or two written by funny pro posters for special cards) but bleadeanie's are consistently good.
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May 8, 2016 07:47
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fatherdog posted:Overeem training with Wim Hof is insanely... weird? interesting? Like Wim's done a lot of reproducible stuff so I don't think he's a charlatan, but I don't know that whatever he's doing is actually going to be helpful in a fight context. I have to admit I don't know anything about Wim Hof other than he sits in ice a lot. It sounded like a lot of what he was saying was about pH (you can ignore anyone talking about pH in a health context 100% of the time) which is really easy to manipulate by hyperventilating. However I was interested when he mentioned the hypothalamus and saw that basically all he does is breathing exercises and reinforcing an "in the present" narrative. What he's doing is essentially mindfulness training. The variability of your heart rate is one of the biofeedback mechanisms (via the vagus nerve) to the brain regulating a whole lot of things, but at its most basic, you have very basic evolutionary brain functions that work much faster than the larger neocortex involved in higher processing. However you still need to react to things like deadly situations fast, so sensory feedback is "split" to the faster part of the brain (the limbic system/"lizard brain") and the neocortex. If the limbic system says "oh poo poo" and perceives the stimulus, rightly or wrongly, to be dangerous, the HPA axis gets activated and your mind quite literally constricts, and you get more neurons firing in the fast part than the slow part. Most of you have probably experienced this during a time of stress when you said something without thinking that made you sound like a huge rear end in a top hat, and only have a realisation momentarily afterwards and apologise. So you can't directly control your heart rate, but you can control your breathing rate, which is linked to your heart rate, and thus control your vagal tone. Here's where it gets important, by having more control over your response to stress, you can help with things like recovery from exercise (cortisol increases proteolysis (muscle breakdown essentially) and opposes the action of insulin) but from a neuroscience perspective, the "fight or flight" response is a bit reductive, because we have a third response: to freeze and play dead, which Overeem does constantly when under pressure (danger stimulus). The immediate response to hearing that is to think well that's all well and good when you're sitting in some kook's pool but it's not going to have much effect on a fight, and to a large extent that's true. There's still going to be a huge adrenaline response during a fight (though the more you do something stressful the more blunted the cortisol response gets, I learned this from a guy who repeatedly threw people out of planes and tested their cortisol response) but you can actually alter the density of certain brain regions with even a few weeks of training. The long and short of it is it can help out with recovery, if he's got the presence of mind to use it during round breaks it might help him absorb cornering instructions, and in the best case scenario might make him freeze up less. I did a 10 week course with a guy who uses mindfulness techniques to influence vagal tone in people with things like chronic diseases or mental disorders/addictions for a bunch of feasibility studies, it was really eye opening.
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May 8, 2016 12:52
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That was a cool post, thank you
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May 8, 2016 14:00
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Triticum Guzzler posted:good stuff So that's probably where 'take a deep breath' when responding to something too emotionally comes from... I can see how that would actually really help a fighter if he could use it between rounds.
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May 8, 2016 14:16
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Triticum Guzzler posted:I have to admit I don't know anything about Wim Hof other than he sits in ice a lot. It sounded like a lot of what he was saying was about pH (you can ignore anyone talking about pH in a health context 100% of the time) which is really easy to manipulate by hyperventilating. However I was interested when he mentioned the hypothalamus and saw that basically all he does is breathing exercises and reinforcing an "in the present" narrative. please don't ever stop posting here
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May 8, 2016 14:28
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henkman posted:That was a cool post, thank you 
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May 8, 2016 15:11
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