Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Locked thread
Chokes McGee
Aug 7, 2008

This is Urotsuki.


Hi, everyone! Putting out a Derby GDT thread in case anyone wants to drink half a handle of Bourbon and then pass out before the main event. You know, like me two years ago*.

(* every year)


Wut

Last year was particularly exciting because we got to watch the first Triple Crown winner in approximately forever. Otherwise, I'm not going to describe the Derby too much for you: four legged animal goes fast, try to pick one from the list and win. But! We'll also be starting this early in case anyone wants to bet on the previous races as well. Don't listen to Tom Hammond, Hank Goldberg, or Jerry Bayley. They are idiots. I don't care if Bayley was a jockey, he's still an idiot.


Where

NBC, around 6:49 PM. Depends on race times before, organizational nonsense, the phase of the moon and tides, etc.


Do I need to know anything about horses to post here

Absolutely not. And, in fact, that's a good sign you should immediately run out and bet on a horse based on its silks/name/number/is-a-grey/whatever because you will instantly clear more money than any other horseman will see in their lifetime. :negative:

Other than that, swill Bourbon (or whatever, all drinks welcome here, one love), watch horses run around in a circle, and call Tom Hammond bad names. Same as every year!


Betting Tips?

hahahahahaha you're asking me

Normally I would tell you to ABB (always bet Borel) but he just retired suddenly a month ago. I don't blame him, he's won just about everything except the entire triple crown (belmoooooont) and at this point he probably sleeps on a bed made of woven :10bux:. He's probably earned the right to call his shots. Other than that, Geroux was hot yesterday, or so I heard. I wouldn't bet him for the derby but he's probably worth a look in the undercard.

Really though, the Derby is basically "throw a dart and good luck." The program/racing forum won't help, you have to pick based on rep and past performances, which means you follow the races religiously. My wife has done this and has $125 in her betting account right now. I have not and have not won a single goddamn thing since last year. Anyway, she has no clue who to pick in this field, so every man for themselves. Personally, I like Nyquist, because on paper he's stomped everyone flat he's faced. This means he will not win.


Ways to Lose Money

Twin Spires is run by Churchill Downs and accepts Paypal. This is a fantastic idea for them and a terrible idea for everyone else.

A bit late in the day for it, but if you like to crunch numbers, Daily Racing Forum is your huckleberry.


The McGee Household Pick 4 (Don't play this, you'll lose all your money)


Race 9: 3/6/8
Race 10: 5/6/11
Race 11: 12
Race 12: 5/13/16


Post here! It's cool!

I'm not expecting more than a handful of people, but it's usually a fun time. There's a lot of time between the late races, so there's still plenty of time to get blind stinking drunk and spam bets for no reason! DO IT IT'S AWESOME

Chokes McGee fucked around with this message at 19:21 on May 7, 2016

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Chokes McGee
Aug 7, 2008

This is Urotsuki.


Late update: Mrs. McGee just hit a pick 3 for $100+ :homebrew:

Also final bump before I say gently caress it and close the thread! :mmmhmm:

R.D. Mangles
Jan 10, 2004




my money's on the horse

Chokes McGee
Aug 7, 2008

This is Urotsuki.


R.D. Mangles posted:

my money's on the horse

you lost and now owe me $12.50

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

*dubstep intensifies*


I guess I'll watch - the Kentucky Derby is between two Stanley Cup playoff games.

Chokes McGee
Aug 7, 2008

This is Urotsuki.


CaptainYesterday posted:

I guess I'll watch - the Kentucky Derby is between two Stanley Cup playoff games.

Cool. There's a shitload of time between races but you can catch the three undercards left and watch a horse do a thing

Arkane
Dec 19, 2006

by R. Guyovich


Mo Tom for me, odds seem too short on Nyquist and Exaggerator.

Chokes McGee
Aug 7, 2008

This is Urotsuki.


Arkane posted:

Mo Tom for me, odds seem too short on Nyquist and Exaggerator.

:agreed: but you almost have to use him for vertical plays, I feel.

Chokes McGee
Aug 7, 2008

This is Urotsuki.


McGee Household Pick 4

Race 9: 3/6/8
Race 10: 5/6/11
Race 11: 12
Race 12: 5/13/16

@$0.50 costs $13.50
@$1.00 costs $27

You have 10 minutes to throw your money away on these picks.


Race 9

Chokes Sez: Shakamat (8) is the one to beat here. Consider a wheel with Converge (3) and JR's Holiday (6)—especially the last one, who looks to be a serious contender.

Chokes McGee
Aug 7, 2008

This is Urotsuki.


lol out in the first race

Chokes McGee
Aug 7, 2008

This is Urotsuki.


Race 10

Chokes Sez: I dunno bet the 6 (Sharp Azteca) or some poo poo. I guess the numbers have been getting ridiculously better every race? It's not like I know what I'm talking about here :shrug:

Arkane
Dec 19, 2006

by R. Guyovich


Chokes McGee posted:

you almost have to use him for vertical plays, I feel.

nah, gently caress em

Coco13
Jun 6, 2004

My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.


I bought peppers and an onion today and it came to $3 so put all my chips on the horse number three.

Chokes McGee
Aug 7, 2008

This is Urotsuki.


Coco13 posted:

I bought peppers and an onion today and it came to $3 so put all my chips on the horse number three.

why would you waste chips like that, we bought french onion dip and everything

Tom Sellout
May 27, 2011

$240 million of Johnny Walker Blue and Throatzilla's services.

Run fast, hosre

Chokes McGee
Aug 7, 2008

This is Urotsuki.


The Kraken posted:

Run fast, hosre

don't sign your posts :smug:

Chokes McGee
Aug 7, 2008

This is Urotsuki.


I picked a horse right!! ... hilariously my wife bet the wrong horse for me :negative:


Race 11:

Chokes Sez: In the grim dark future, there are only horses, extending out forever across the galaxy. Dehumanize yourself and face to Big Blue Kitten (12) who has owned people up and down the board in all his races.

Yes, his.

That poor horse.

J33uk
Oct 23, 2005


Chokes McGee posted:

I picked a horse right!! ... hilariously my wife bet the wrong horse for me :negative:


Race 11:

Chokes Sez: In the grim dark future, there are only horses, extending out forever across the galaxy. Dehumanize yourself and face to Big Blue Kitten (12) who has owned people up and down the board in all his races.

Yes, his.

That poor horse.

I threw down 2 bucks on a 12,10 exacta so I now expect both horses to collide, flip over and burst into flames.

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN

Let's go horsies

Chokes McGee
Aug 7, 2008

This is Urotsuki.


Benne posted:

Let's go horsies

same

CBJSprague24
Dec 5, 2010

another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it



CAVVIN BUWELLL AIN' GON RIDE HORSIE NO MO. :(

My favorite Derby moment (I think it was the Derby) was Borel getting in a fight with another jockey. The rage in the eyes of that unintelligible Cajun was amazing.

CaptainYesterday posted:

I guess I'll watch - the Kentucky Derby is between two Stanley Cup playoff games.

You can break from the hockey, but you can't escape the Olczyk.

E- gently caress OFF RUTLEDGE

CBJSprague24 fucked around with this message at 21:45 on May 7, 2016

Arkane
Dec 19, 2006

by R. Guyovich


I did a 4, 19, 15 exacta box and bet on each of them to win.

Also bet on 10 to show for whatever reason, I forget.

paddyboat
Feb 20, 2013

Maxi, Maxi Rodriguez
Run down the wing for me

I was told Exaggerator months ago so I've been following him and he'll definitely win imo

forward pass
Dec 9, 2005

Y'all get back now.

I'm rooting for Nyquist because I like the lovely hockey team his namesake plays for. Go Wings.

AsInHowe
Jan 11, 2007


If a horse backkicks Darren Rovell in the groin, it would be the greatest horse of all-time

TMMadman
Sep 9, 2003
Probation
Can't post for 11 years!


Alright, I got the 5/11/14/17 in an exacta box, plus a couple .50 trifecta part wheels. One using the same 4 horses plus some bonus horses in show/place positions and one with the favorites in first plus some bonus horses in place/show position.

General Dog
Apr 26, 2008

Everybody's working for the weekend

My money is on Good Massa

marioinblack
Sep 21, 2007

Number 1 Bullshit


I think Tom's Ready to win this.

General Dog
Apr 26, 2008

Everybody's working for the weekend

How big is Exaggerator's dick?

General Dog
Apr 26, 2008

Everybody's working for the weekend

I wish women wore big hats in more settings

marioinblack
Sep 21, 2007

Number 1 Bullshit


They're off! :horse:

paddyboat
Feb 20, 2013

Maxi, Maxi Rodriguez
Run down the wing for me

Toilet Mouth posted:

How big is Exaggerator's dick?

Not as big as I was told

Arkane
Dec 19, 2006

by R. Guyovich


Nyquist is good

marioinblack
Sep 21, 2007

Number 1 Bullshit


Other horses have to keep Nyquist out of the high slot like that.

Seizure Meat
Jul 23, 2008

by Smythe


that was A Good Race

welp cya until the next 5 seconds in the Preakness thread

TMMadman
Sep 9, 2003
Probation
Can't post for 11 years!


I need to know the third place horse! If it's the 5 horse, I lost but if it's the 14, I hit a trifecta.

AsInHowe
Jan 11, 2007


The Red Wing horse defeated the horse promoting illegal gun distribution, a morally correct victory

marioinblack
Sep 21, 2007

Number 1 Bullshit


TMMadman posted:

I need to know the third place horse! If it's the 5 horse, I lost but if it's the 14, I hit a trifecta.

Just missed it my man

TMMadman
Sep 9, 2003
Probation
Can't post for 11 years!


marioinblack posted:

Just missed it my man

Yeah, I just saw it.

drat it. Oh well, even if it had hit, I would have only won about half my total bets back because it was all the favorites.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

TheHoosier
Dec 30, 2004

The fuck, Graham?!



Damnit, I hate this stupid sport

You failed me,Victor

  • Locked thread