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Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:Please continue this fascinating argument about salinity. It doesn't appear to be an argument, he just said the exact same thing I did (that salt doesn't get used up) after calling me an idiot and saying the opposite thing, so I dunno if he's a nutjob or what. But yeah, no more pool talk. Apparently it's flame-inciting.
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May 12, 2016 18:25
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Pool is good, thanks.
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May 12, 2016 18:26
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zaurg posted:Pool is good, thanks. Glad to hear! Again, congrats on getting everything back in order.
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May 12, 2016 18:29
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unless your private schools are legitimate Ivy league feeder schools then they aren't worth the money and none of those cost 1400 a month (the one I went too costs 32k a year). Also ditch the lawn and pool service.
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May 12, 2016 19:31
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If your daughter has made significant progress in this year of private school, maybe she can qualify for the gifted program in public school next year. That might be a way to get your ex to agree to public schooling without a huge fight. Spend part of the summer working with her to improve the skills she'll be evaluated on. You don't need to buy a ton of stuff for that either, any half-decent library should have educational resources to help you continue your child's education through the summer.
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May 12, 2016 20:19
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chaniara posted:If your daughter has made significant progress in this year of private school, maybe she can qualify for the gifted program in public school next year. That might be a way to get your ex to agree to public schooling without a huge fight. Spend part of the summer working with her to improve the skills she'll be evaluated on. You don't need to buy a ton of stuff for that either, any half-decent library should have educational resources to help you continue your child's education through the summer. This is a good idea. Also, if your older daughter is getting overwhelmed with the workload, she may be more receptive to going to public schools. I get it, I don't know anything about private schools and they can probably be great, but it doesn't seem financially responsible for either of you.
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May 12, 2016 20:48
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I'm just gonna write one more screed about private and public schooling: 1. Your and Zex's plan to put kids through private education UNTIL high school is incredibly foolish. Private schools give kids such a massive boost for college admissions in terms of AP/College course offerings, alumni connections, having dedicated college counselors and admissions experts who will honest-to-god call a school your kid got waitlisted at and pull some favors, offering opportunities for extracurriculars and self-study and developing their own interests...like I said, if you can pick just part of your child's life to dedicate to private school, pick high school. Hell, send her there starting in middle school, but there is no point in putting her in the private system and taking her out at the high school level. 2. Most private school tuition increases over time. I have the tuition chart of my old school right here: http://mph.net/admission/financial-info As you can see, the tuition increases roughly $10,000 per child over the course of their schooling. Put two kids on that same payment plan. Wouldn't you rather save for their college education? Also, when I graduated, $15k per year was what the seniors were paying (but I had a scholarship BIATCH  ). I graduated high school 13 years ago. By the time your youngest daughter hits high school, tuition fees will likely have ballooned.Private schools also make a lot of financial demands on parents. Your ex's personality leads me to think she'll be number one in line at fundraising events, so that she doesn't look cheap and/or poor. How long until she's working on you to make contributions in that area?  "It'll help her make connections for the rest of her life! The Shapiro-Delacruzes gave ten thousand last year and now little J'Hay'Dyn gets all this extra attention!" "What do you mean, you can't help pay for her to go on the class trip to Beijing? DO YOU WANT YOUR DAUGHTER TO BE A SOCIAL OUTCAST?" (Yes, my school offered a yearly trip to Beijing.) "If we don't buy Zaurgling the latest overpriced piece of plastic, she's going to look stupid and she won't have any friends!"You say your daughter is learning a lot, but struggling with the workload. It won't diminish as she continues. (and honestly, I'm curious as to how much homework is being assigned?) Another poster suggested taking another shot at the public school's gifted program, now that your daughter has a year of school behind her, and I think that's a good idea. Financially, this may not be your biggest expense, but it is an avoidable expense. Taking her out for the next few years and saving even half that money for her university education will ultimately be more helpful to her in the long run. Fleta Mcgurn fucked around with this message at 09:26 on May 26, 2016 |
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May 13, 2016 02:27
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bringmyfishback posted:Wouldn't you rather save for their college education? Thanks for the great post, fishback. I quoted just that part because yes that is huge... I could use that part as well during conversation with ex. I will first look up college education savings plans. What if there is a good one for $100/month or something and I can say look I'll start this - put daughter in public school (saving $700+/month), then we could split my youngest daughter's daycare bill, and ex could pay the college education saving plan amount for her. I need to come up with a plan. It will NOT work just simply saying it's too expensive and we can't afford private school.
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May 13, 2016 03:50
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zaurg posted:Any BFC'ers divorced with kids and have a similar agreement to mine where each parent pays % of medical/extracurricular expenses for the children? How did you manage that? bringmyfishback posted:I am a teacher (who went to private school and teaches at a private school) and would 100% recommend it to anyone for whom it is financially feasible. I don't think it is financially feasible for you. adorai fucked around with this message at 05:28 on May 13, 2016 |
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May 13, 2016 05:25
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The local private high school was where all my filthy public school friends went to buy coke and speed and X  Lots of kids went to ivy leagues high as kites, though.
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May 13, 2016 05:36
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Meh, I said I'd recommend it if feasible, not that I think it's necessary. One of the biggest motivations for their terrible decision to buy a house back in 2012 was that it was near a better public school system and I think the cost of private school tuition is an unnecessary expense at this point in time- potentially forever. As a teacher, I really prefer smaller class sizes for a lot of reasons, so I like teaching in a private school environment and think it's healthier for students. Plus, you get more weird kids. I like weird kids. Basic bitches are boring to teach. edit: Let me be clear, I unhesitatingly think Zaurg should abandon the idea of private school for his daughters (at least right now) in favor of saving for their university education. I wanted to show respect for his decision to pursue private education because a) I want him to know that I understand his concern for his kids, and b) if he goes to Zex and says NO MORE PRIVATE SCHOOL, she will literally poo poo a Wonderhanger and who knows how vindictive/crazy she could get in response to a perceived threat to her children and/or what she wants? Fleta Mcgurn fucked around with this message at 06:37 on May 13, 2016 |
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May 13, 2016 06:06
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I made the gif. Good job, dude. 
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May 15, 2016 15:08
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zaurg posted:Thanks for the great post, fishback. Have you asked your daughter for her opinion? Obviously don't say "mommy and daddy can't afford this so we're cutting it off", but just ask how she feels about school, her teachers, her classmates, etc. You mentioned that the workload might be overwhelming for her, and that's something that will only get worse over time and may negate any extra value the school offers academically. So if your daughter isn't happy and thriving there then that's the argument to make with Zex rather than a purely financial one. Zex may not share the same financial priorities as you, but she does share an interest in the wellbeing of your kids.
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May 16, 2016 03:21
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Youth Decay posted:Have you asked your daughter for her opinion? Obviously don't say "mommy and daddy can't afford this so we're cutting it off", but just ask how she feels about school, her teachers, her classmates, etc. You mentioned that the workload might be overwhelming for her, and that's something that will only get worse over time and may negate any extra value the school offers academically. So if your daughter isn't happy and thriving there then that's the argument to make with Zex rather than a purely financial one. Zex may not share the same financial priorities as you, but she does share an interest in the wellbeing of your kids. Also, most schools have parent-teacher days or nights. You should probably attend one and get in some face-time with your daughter's teacher for some professional feedback or unbiased observations. Some kids are frightened of change, and will opt for the devil they know, even if they're secretly unhappy.
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May 16, 2016 03:26
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zaurg posted:I'm surprised you didn't mention the $80/month lawn service. There is no reason I shouldn't get rid of that. I have every other weekend without my kids and I own a mower, weed eater, gas tank, hedger, tree trimmer, machete, axe, fertilizer spreader. The time it takes me to do it has been the only thing holding me back from going back to doing it myself. I really value that weekend time lately. I thought about bringing it up but I assumed that you didn't have a mower or something. Yes, since at least every 6th day you don't have kids at your house you're officially out of excuses. I'm guessing you have a suburban lot so it probably takes all of 20 minutes to mow. Do a yearly oil change / air filter on your mower and keep the bottom of the mower deck clean, run ethanol free gas if you can (if not just run stabil in regular gas) and even the shittiest big box store mower will last many years. Usually the deck is the first thing to go. e: I'd recommend buying YNAB4 (classic) if they still sell it. Granted, it's nothing that you couldn't do in excel, but it's already done. I resisted it for a long time, but the "your pool of money is broken down into <as granular as you want> subcategories" way of thinking was the final piece of the puzzle for me. Even when we screw up, it gives us a chance to do better next time for the unplanned cost. One example was, saving for christmas (mostly gifts), we did not plan well enough for sending christmas cards (cost of the cards + stamps) and various family gatherings with "white elephant" gifts and stuff. Personally, I think very detailed planning is the best way to reduce budgetary stress, it takes a lot of the guess work out of the process. I joke that I'm cheap, which in a way is true. But I don't mind spending money if I've planned for it. I can post some suggestions for YNAB categories if you're looking for ideas. dreesemonkey fucked around with this message at 16:09 on May 16, 2016 |
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May 16, 2016 15:59
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Thanks for all the suggestions about private / public school. Will let you guys know how it goes. dreese - 20 minutes? Not even close! But I'm still out of excuses.
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May 16, 2016 18:50
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Hi zuarg, long time first time. Congrats on the divorce, I reread the last two threads a couple of months ago and it's absolutely for the best that she's out of your life. Tell us more about this: quote:I found out she spent thousands of dollars on iphone games over something like an 18 month period.
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May 16, 2016 19:46
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ninjahedgehog posted:Hi zuarg, long time first time. Congrats on the divorce, I reread the last two threads a couple of months ago and it's absolutely for the best that she's out of your life. Tell us more about this: Was it PAD? Please tell me it was PAD (Puzzle and Dragons)
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May 16, 2016 22:58
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The Ashley Madison app is not an iPhone game.
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May 16, 2016 23:38
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candy crush
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May 17, 2016 00:00
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zaurg posted:candy crush Pretend I posted all of Kirk's responses to the Razer thread here, because I'm completely loving stunned. HOW?
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May 17, 2016 00:14
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ugh man lets not go there what's done is done thankfully I'm no longer paying for it maybe later I'll post the credit card transaction log for depressing shits and giggles
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May 17, 2016 01:09
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zaurg posted:ugh man lets not go there  IllegallySober posted:Was it PAD? Please tell me it was PAD (Puzzle and Dragons) My guess was going to be that Kim Kardashian game.
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May 17, 2016 10:38
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Congrats on the divorce, things seem to be looking up! Did anyone weigh in on the salinity of pools and chlorine and whitening? I have some thoughts I'd like to share.
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May 17, 2016 12:54
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Honestly I'm not even mad about Zaurg outsourcing his lawn care. I hated it back at my old place and I'm so happy my hoa takes care of all that stuff for me now. Anyway I also wanted to apologize if I was ever too much of a dick to you. Tough love is good but I think I may have went a little overboard sometimes way back when. I also think the way you were treated might have dissuaded others from posting their own threads.
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May 17, 2016 14:15
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Anyway looking at your budget I'm wondering why you went with a Roth R01k instead of a Traditional 401k and maybe a Roth IRA on the side. I could see a roth 401k being useful if you like the idea of having a big emergency emergency holy poo poo fund since you could get everything out penalty free if you had to but at your income level you could probably benefit greatly from the tax savings a Traditional offers.
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May 17, 2016 14:23
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Unfortunately this went on for much longer before I found out. I think over 3k was spent before we completely separated our finances. We separated finances while still living together about ~5 months before divorcing. This is just an 8 month snapshot. Date Description Amount 01/01/2015 ITUNES MUSICUSA ITUNCUPERTINO CA 14.99 ITUNES MUSICUSA ITUNCUPERTINO CA 9.99 ITUNES MUSICUSA ITUNCUPERTINO CA 9.99 ITUNES MUSICUSA ITUNCUPERTINO CA 9.99 ITUNES MUSICUSA ITUNCUPERTINO CA 19.98 ITUNES MUSICUSA ITUNCUPERTINO CA 14.99 ITUNES MUSICUSA ITUNCUPERTINO CA 14.99 ITUNES MUSICUSA ITUNCUPERTINO CA 9.99 ITUNES MUSICUSA ITUNCUPERTINO CA 9.99 ITUNES MUSICUSA ITUNCUPERTINO CA 14.99 ITUNES MUSICUSA ITUNCUPERTINO CA 14.99 ITUNES MUSICUSA ITUNCUPERTINO CA 9.99 ITUNES MUSICUSA ITUNCUPERTINO CA 14.99 ITUNES MUSICUSA ITUNCUPERTINO CA 9.99 ITUNES MUSICUSA ITUNCUPERTINO CA 9.99 ITUNES MUSICUSA ITUNCUPERTINO CA 9.99 ITUNES MUSICUSA ITUNCUPERTINO CA 14.99 ITUNES MUSICUSA ITUNCUPERTINO CA 9.99 ITUNES MUSICUSA ITUNCUPERTINO CA 9.99 ITUNES MUSICUSA ITUNCUPERTINO CA 14.99 ITUNES MUSICUSA ITUNCUPERTINO CA 14.99 ITUNES MUSICUSA ITUNCUPERTINO CA 19.99 ITUNES MUSICUSA ITUNCUPERTINO CA 9.99 ITUNES MUSICUSA ITUNCUPERTINO CA 14.99 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 9.99 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 9.99 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 15.98 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 12.97 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 19.98 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 9.99 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 9.99 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 9.99 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 9.99 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 19.98 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 14.99 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 9.98 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 14.99 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 9.99 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 15.98 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 15.98 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 9.99 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 20.98 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 14.99 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 9.99 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 9.99 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 14.99 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 9.99 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 44.95 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 33.95 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 49.95 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 19.98 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 19.98 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 34.96 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 24.98 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 14.98 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 19.98 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 19.98 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 29.97 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 19.98 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 49.93 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 9.99 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 39.96 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 29.98 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 49.97 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 19.99 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 39.98 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 39.98 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 49.99 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 59.97 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 49.99 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 34.97 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 19.99 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 19.99 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 39.98 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 19.99 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 20.99 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 39.99 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 39.98 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 39.98 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 0.99 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 2.99 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 20.99 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 40.98 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 4.99 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 7.96 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 0.99 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 24.96 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 9.98 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 9.98 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 9.98 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 0.99 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 16.95 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 25.82 8/1/2015 ITUNES.COM/BILL ITUNCUPERTINO CA 24.83 total 1864.04 zaurg fucked around with this message at 15:05 on May 17, 2016 |
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May 17, 2016 15:03
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So I found out my ex is no longer employed as of about a week ago. No idea as to the reason. She hasn't told me. I'm not sure yet what this means for me but it can't be good. Unless this could be a springboard for conversation about switching from Private to Public school.
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May 17, 2016 15:17
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Yes, it surely is. You need to have that conversation ASAP, you can't afford to absorb her half of that bill.
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May 17, 2016 15:20
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zaurg posted:So I found out my ex is no longer employed as of about a week ago. I am not a divorce expert by any stretch of the imagination but yes, I would start looking at things to cut back on. Hopefully she finds a new job soon. Hang in there, buddy.
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May 17, 2016 15:22
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Oh man it's gonna be "But I've got no place to gooooooo *crying*" and then Zaurg will somehow lose the house out of all of this.
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May 17, 2016 16:08
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Paste the iTunes charges on the inside of the front door as a daily reminder.
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May 17, 2016 16:19
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zaurg posted:Unfortunately this went on for much longer before I found out. I think over 3k was spent before we completely separated our finances. We separated finances while still living together about ~5 months before divorcing. This is just an 8 month snapshot. 
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May 17, 2016 16:34
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I like the progession in size of those charges.
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May 17, 2016 16:35
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Oh my god she spent $60 in one go and $50 multiple times
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May 17, 2016 16:37
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JohnGalt posted:I like the progession in size of those charges.
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May 17, 2016 16:38
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In terms of private school though she's only spent 45 days worth of private school so in that sense it's a steal.
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May 17, 2016 16:41
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I'd like to think that would have been very helpful in a custody dispute :bigtran: - I WANT MAH KIDS! HE'S A LOSER  - She has a degree from Devry and spent thousands of dollars on candy crush, here are receipts
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May 17, 2016 17:07
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94 charges in 212 dates (basically a transaction every other day)code:
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May 17, 2016 17:13
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It's mind boggling. And can you imagine how I went about approaching her about it? It was like I was trying to be a therapist approaching her about an addiction. I should've just blown up about it but I didn't. She got extremely upset anyway because I continued to ask her about it (expecting some kind of sharing of what was going on in her head - or even an apology) but she never apologized and never really said much in response. Crazy to think it's probably still going on to this day. Wow... from wiki quote:King Digital Entertainment PLC,[1] also known as King.com, is a social games company. King develops games for the web, for mobile (iOS, Android, Windows Phone), Facebook, and Windows 10.[2][3] King is led by Riccardo Zacconi, who has served in that role since co-founding the company in 2003.[4] Gerhard Florin is the current Chairman of Board. He took over from Melvyn Morris when he stepped down in November 2014. The company has 1400 employees[5] and parcels development out to small, autonomous teams of designers working with a "startup" mentality. In 2013, it spent $110.5 million on research and development, roughly 6 percent of sales.[6] On 23 February 2016, King was acquired by Activision Blizzard for $5.9 billion.[7]
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May 17, 2016 17:21
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