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Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!


2013 was not a good time for Final Fantasy. XIV had been crashing and burning for years, All the Bravest was reviled on mobile, Versus XIII ceased to be as Nomura was kicked off his own project in favor of the Type-0 director (a game which had already branded itself away from the XIII universe), and anything XIII-related was particularly toxic. Despite the initial good reviews, opinions of XIII itself had soured greatly in the past three years, and XIII-2 was seen as an unnecessary sequel even by those who enjoyed it. Review scores trended around 6-8, and sales were barely half that of the original. The message was clear - it was time to take a break from Final Fantasy, and move on from the FNC universe.

Yet, despite all the signs, Square felt compelled to try again. Maybe they felt that XIII-2 ended on too blatant of a cliffhanger. Maybe they gave too much credence to Motomu Toriyama, who, for better or worse, was the only director of a main FF game in the last decade to actually ship it. Or maybe they simply thought the fans would come around given a proper conclusion to the sub-series. Whatever the case, Square clearly thought they had a compelling case to take one more stab at it, so they called up Tri-Ace and went back to the drawing board.

The Game

Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII is the third and final game in the XIII sub-series, and it takes the peculiar strategy of throwing out basically everything from the first two games. The world, game design, and even the combat has been completely redesigned to the point where it legitimately feels like someone took Lightning and friends and shoved them into a different game altogether. Which is arguably one of the strangest things of all about LR - this game has clearly had a lot of effort put into it. This is not like XIII-2 where it was blatant asset re-use with minor increments to an existing battle system, this is a labor of love with a completely new world and combat engine, an open world design with a Majora's Mask style schedule for NPCs, and a writing team that did their damnedest to make this game work, even with the weight of all the FNC bullshit leaning on it.

And to their credit, it does work. ...Sooooort of. Despite the effort that was clearly put in, there is no getting around the fact that LR can be a bit kind of incredibly janky. At least part of this can be blamed on the Crystal Tools engine, which was never meant to be used for an open world game and it shows. The framerate has regular dips, and at its worst flirts with single digits on console. Additionally, the combat is in dire need of a proper tutorial and somehow manages to frontload far too many and not enough abilities to make the system really sing. And while the sidequests are well-written, the actual plot is standard XIII fare, making it seem like there were two writing teams that weren't allowed to talk to each other at all. As a result, characterization can vary wildly from conversation to conversation - One minute Lightning is a cold, uncaring hardass with literally no emotions, and the next she's helping a young woman get medicine for her dying father or breaking into the palace to help Snow because she's the only one who can empathize with his pain. The whole package is still a positive experience, mind you. But it can be hard to overlook a lot of its bigger faults, especially if you're not playing on PC where the framerate is much more reliable.

The LP

If you've seen my XIII and XIII-2 LPs, you already know what you're in for. The editing will be a bit heavier this time around (such is the nature of an open world game), but it's commentary over cutscenes and all that jazz like usual. What will be different is our dynamic this time around. My partner in crime, Fedule, is quite fond of this game, whereas I am...not. This isn't XIII-2 where I hated pretty much everything about it, but suffice to say that I like the ideas and intentions behind a lot of the design decisions a more than the actual execution of them.

That said, I intend to show as close to 100% of the content off as I can. My first playthrough I did everything except the two superbosses and barring some kind of catastrophe, I see no reason why I won't repeat that. Additionally, I will occasionally be splicing in footage from my NG+ save to show off mechanics and fights that the main LP won't explore. And if all else fails, maybe I'll convince Fedule to go record a few boss runs or something. There may even be some audience participation once we get the first few days under our belt, but we'll see how things go.

:siren: SPOILERS :siren:

Don't. If there's a mechanics question we'll answer it as best we can, but I expect black bar discussion to be kept to a minimum. The game itself picks up pretty much right where XIII-2 leaves off (...sort of. You'll see), so anything from XIII and XIII-2 is fair game - Caius and Serah are dead, the world is flooded by chaos, and Fang and Vanille were rescued from the crystal pillar. If any of that is a surprise to you, turn back now and at least watch the last chapter or two of XIII-2 and the Requiem of the Goddess DLC. Otherwise you're probably okay, so sit down, turn your brain off, and enjoy the ride because it isn't getting any more coherent from here.

Updates
Update 1: The Dark Light Rises
Update 2: Home Sweet Hope
Update 3: Claire Farron - Ace Investigator
Update 4: Chocolina Returns
Update 5: South Side Jazz
Update 6: The First Intermission
Update 7: Under the FDA's Radar
Update 8: Kitchen Nightmares
Update 9: Soul of an Artist
Update 10: The Hunter Appears
Update 11: A Grave Revelation
Update 12: A Chocobo's Dilemma
Update 13: Sheepish Demands
Update 14: The Color Menu
Update 15: Light and Shadow
Update 16: The Apocalypse Room
Update 17: The Second Intermission
Update 18: Dusty Desert Slide
Update 19: Fertilizer Seekers
Update 20: YOU ARE THE FLOWER
Update 21: Jagd After Hours, Kupo!
Update 22: Spooky Ghost Stories
Update 23: The Diary of Ranulph
Update 24: Yuck Kou, Fid
Update 25: Desert Rights Management
Update 26: Yusnaan's Thirteen
Update 27: Daddy's Got the Blues
Update 28: You Can't Defy Science
Update 29: You Can't 'Cie Me
Update 30: The Third Intermission
Update 31: Complaining About Colors
Update 32: Big B's Art Gallery
Update 33: Lightning's Poaching Simulator 2013
Update 34: Treasure of the Gods
Update 35: Fashion Disasters
Update 36: The Funicula Fireworks Festival
Update 37: Song of the Savior
Update 38: Snow, the Level Designer
Update 39: A Heart-to-Heart with Fists
Update 40: The Fourth Intermission
Update 41: A Family Crisis
Update 42: Lightning and the Feather-kin
Update 43: Conning the Con Artist
Update 44: Skyward, Young Moogle
Update 45: Reddick's Disappearing Act
Update 46: Wings of an Angel
Update 47: A Yeul Who Broke Time and Space
Update 48: Order and Chaos
Update 49: Secret Family Recipes
Update 50: Ride That Chocobo, One Last Time
Update 51: The Fifth Intermission
Update 52: The Last Sidequest is in Captivity
Update 53: Elevating the Tango
Update 54: The Sixth Intermission
Update 55: The Devouring Maw of Darwin
Update 56: Capital "F" Fashion
Update 57: The End of Everything
Update 58: The Seventh Intermission
Update 59: Beast of the Dunes
Update 60: God's Little Secret
Update 61: The Temple of Light
Update 62: The Soulsong
Update 63: Trial of the Savior
Update 64: Almighty Bhunivelze
Update 65: After the End

Artix fucked around with this message at 01:44 on Feb 2, 2017

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Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!

Thanks Crow!

The following is a list of all our garbs (that we acquired, anyway) as well as a description of what they do and their general role. That's not to say you have to use them this way, but it's probably going to take more effort than it's worth.

Note: All descriptions will be from left to right in the following format

Garb Name
Max ATB: How much the garb affects your max ATB. Baseline is 100, 0 means no change
Default ATB: How much of the ATB bar you start with at the beginning of the fight. This is generally more important later on, when your main offensive move costs 50 ATB and your garb starts empty.
Abilities: What combat abilities the garb comes with (and their ATB cost)
Special Ability: If a garb has a special ability, it'll appear here with a description. Most have at least a token stat buff, but not always

Commandos



Nocturne
Max ATB: 0
Default ATB: 100%
Abilities: Attack L2 (10)
Max HP +15%, Strength +40

Velvet Bouncer
Max ATB: 0
Default ATB: 100%
Abilities: Blitz L2 (20)
Strength +10%, Strength +80

Vengeance
Max ATB: +30
Default ATB: 50%
Abilities: Beat Down L3 (30)
Stagger Drain (restores some HP when you stagger a foe)



Hunter of the Wild
Max ATB: +30
Default ATB: 50%
Abilities: Heavy Slash L3 (40)
Victor Drain (restores some HP when you kill an enemy)

Primavera
Max ATB: 0
Default ATB: 100%
Abilities: Area Sweep L2 (5)
Strength +10%, Strength +80

Dragon's Blood
Max ATB: 0
Default ATB: 50%
Abilities: Heavy Slash L3 (40)
Climactic (Inflicts more damage if ATB is below 30)



Amazon Warrior
Max ATB: +20
Default ATB: 50%
Abilities: Guard L2 (10), Speed Slash L2 (10)
Soul of the Warrior (Max HP +5%, Strength +10%)

Dragoon
Max ATB: +20
Default ATB: 50%
Abilites: Lancet L3 (10) [Drains a small amount of HP from an enemy]
Soul of the Dragoon (Faster Staggering +5%, Physical Res +10%)

Soldier of Peace
Max ATB: +50
Default ATB: 0%
Abilities: Shadowbind L3 (150) [Inflicts Daze on enemies]
Soul of the Hunter (Phys Damage +5%), Artemis's Arrows (Converts Heavy Slash into Artemis's Arrows)



Dark Knight
Max ATB: +20
Default ATB: 50%
Abilites: Darkness L3 (20), Ashura L3 (50) [These are more powerful versions of Blitz and Heavy Slash respectively, but cost HP to use]
Soul of the Dark Knight (Phys Damage +5%, Magic Res +10%)

Heartstealer
Max ATB: +20
Default ATB: 50%
Abilities: Leaping Rush L2 (20), Evade L2 (15)
Soul of the Thief (ATB Recovery +25, Stagger Capability +5%)

Innocence
Max ATB: +30
Default ATB: 50%
Abilities: Attack L3 (8)
Transform Protect (Gain Protect when switching out of this garb at low ATB)



Loyal Servant
Max ATB: +30
Default ATB: 50%
Abilities: Ruin L3 (8)
Transform Shell

Sphere Hunter
Max ATB: 0
Default ATB: 70%
Abilities: Crashing Waves L0 (15)

Candy Raver
Max ATB: +30
Default ATB: 50%
Abilities: Blitz L3 (16)
High Voltage (Inflict more damage at high HP)



SOLDIER 1st Class
Max ATB: +30
Default ATB: 50%
Abilities: Heavy Slash L2 (40)
Phys and Magic Res +10%, Slayer (Transforms Heavy Slash while an enemy is staggered)

Tomb Raider
Max ATB: 0
Default ATB: 100%
Abilities: Fatal Sweep L3 (16)

Celestial Body
Max ATB: +20
Default ATB: 100%
Abilites: Cross Blitz L0 (10) [three Ruins followed by a powerful physical attack]



Cosmocrator
Max ATB: +50
Default ATB: 50%
Abilities: Cosmic Arts L0 (15) [three Attacks followed by a Ruinga]

Martial Monk
Max ATB: +20
Default ATB: 50%
Abilities: Punt L2 (5), Charged Strike L2 (10)
Soul of the Fighter (Max HP +10%, Phys Damage +5%), Whirlwind Kick (Converts Punt into Whirlwind Kick)

Nightmare
Max ATB: +20
Default ATB: 50%
Abilities: Siren Strike L3 (10)
Soul of the Devil (ATB Recovery +10, Ailment Resistance +10%)



Ultimatus
Max ATB: +50
Default ATB: 30%
Abilities: Ultima L0 (100) [Inflicts a ton of magic damage but has no combo potential]

Ravagers



Mist Wizard
Max ATB: 0
Default ATB: 50%
Abilities: Thunder L1 (15)

Cold Rebellion
Max ATB: 0
Default ATB: 100%
Abilities: Blizzard L2 (15)
Max HP +15%, Magic +40

Woodland Walker
Max ATB: 0
Default ATB: 100%
Abilities: Aero+ L2 (15)
Magic +10%, Magic +80



Ignition
Max ATB: 0
Default ATB: 100%
Abilities: Fire+ L2 (15)
Magic +10%, Magic +80

Watery Chorus
Max ATB: 0
Default ATB: 100%
Abilities: Blizzard+ L2 (15)
Magic +10%, Magic +80

Electronica
Max ATB: 0
Default ATB: 100%
Abilities: Thunder+ L2 (15)
Magic +10%, Magic +80



Black Mage
Max ATB: +50
Default ATB: 75%
Abilities: Rapid Fire L2 (15), Quick Freeze (15)
Soul of the Black Mage (Magic damage +10%)

White Mage
Max ATB: +20
Default ATB: 50%
Abilities: Dispel L2 (33), Quick Ruin L2 (15)
Soul of the White Mage (Max HP +5%, Magic damage +10%)

Purple Lightning
Max ATB: +75
Default ATB: 50%
Abilities: Flame L3 (40), Flood L3 (40) [These are basically physical versions of Firaga and Blizzaga; they do physical damage and run off your strength but are otherwise identical to the spell (stagger, cost, etc)]
Soul of the Ninja (ATB Recovery +25)



Midnight Mauve
Max ATB: +30
Default ATB: 100%
Abilites: Fira L3 (21)

Blue Mage
Max ATB: +20
Default ATB: 50%
Abilities: Lightning L3 (40), Wind Slash L3 (40) [See Purple Lightning, these are Thundaga and Aeroga]
Soul of the Blue Mage (Magic Damage +5%, ATB Recovery +15)

L'ange Noir
Max ATB: 0
Default ATB: 100%
Abilities: Thunder L2 (15)
Max HP +15%, Magic +40



L'automne
Max ATB: +30
Default ATB: 50%
Abilities: Thundara L3 (21), Aerora L3 (21)
Stagger Siphon (Restores ATB when you stagger a foe)

Urban Outlaw
Max ATB: +30
Default ATB: 50%
Abilities: Fira L3 (21), Blizzara L3 (21)
Victor Siphon (Restores ATB when you defeat an enemy)

Danse Macabre
Max ATB: +30
Default ATB: 50%
Abilities: Flamespark L2 (20), Icestorm L2 (20)
Sweet Spot (Inflicts bonus damage if you hit an enemy's weakness)



Spira's Summoner
Max ATB: 0
Default ATB: 70%
Abilities: Elementa L0 (40)

Hidden Justice
Max ATB: +30
Default ATB: 70%
Abilities: Flamespark L3 (16)
Magic +250

Witching Hour
Max ATB: +30
Default ATB: 70%
Abilities: Icestorm L3 (16)
Magic +250

Mixed



Equilibrium
Max ATB: 0
Default ATB: 100%
Abilities: Attack L1 (10)

Dark Muse
Max ATB: 0
Default ATB: 50%
Abilities: Attack L1 (10)

Red Mage
Max ATB: +20
Default ATB: 50%
Abilities: Light Slash L2 (5), Buster Ruin (15)
Soul of the Red Mage (Increases physical and magic damage by 8%)



Brave Vanguard
Max ATB: 0
Default ATB: 100%
Abilities: Blitz L2 (20)
Ailment Resistance +33%, ATB Recovery +10

Rhapsody in Rose
Max ATB: 0
Default ATB: 100%
Abilities: Light Guard L3 (4)
Energized (Inflicts more damage if ATB is above 70)

Deja Vu
Max ATB: +30
Default ATB: 50%
Abilities: Mediguard L3 (8)
Strike Back (Inflict more damage at lower HP)



Miqo'te Dress
Max ATB: 0
Default ATB: 75%
Abilities: Mediguard+ L0 (15), Magic Slash L0 (10)
Esuna Guard (Mediguard heals a status condition if you guard long enough)

Champagne Gold
Max ATB: +50
Default ATB: 50%
Abilities: ATB Charge L3 (4)
Max HP +1500

Knight of Etro
Max ATB: +20
Default ATB: 100%
Abilities: None



Guardian Corps
Max ATB: +20
Default ATB: 100%
Abilities: None

Sentinels



Providence
Max ATB: 0
Default ATB: 100%
Abilities: Guard L2 (10)
Max HP +15%, Strength +40

Quiet Guardian
Max ATB: 0
Default ATB: 100%
Abilities: Heavy Guard L2 (15)
Strength +80, Physical and Magic Res +15%

Paladin
Max ATB: +30
Default ATB: 50%
Abilities: Heavy Guard L3 (11)
Soul of the Paladin (Magic Res +10%, Debuff Res +20%), Ruinga Guard (Casts Ruinga after guarding for long enough)



Dust and Shadow
Max ATB: 0
Default ATB: 100%
Abilities: Guard L2 (10)
Ailment Resistance +33%, ATB Recovery +10

Cyber Jumpsuit
Max ATB: 0
Default ATB: 100%
Abilities: Dispel L2 (33)
Strength +80, Physical and Magic Res +15%

Intruder
Max ATB: 0
Default ATB: 70%
Abilities: Guard L3 (8)
Transform Faith



Splendid Admiral
Max ATB: 0
Default ATB: 70%
Abilities: Guard L3 (8)
Transform Bravery

Sacred Knight
Max ATB: +20
Default ATB: 50%
Abilities: Defensive Strike L3 (10) [Allows you to attack while guarding]
Soul of the Knight (Max HP +5%, Phys Resistance +10%), Defensive Position (Light Guard, Guard, and Heavy Guard block more damage)

Saboteurs



Passion Rouge
Max ATB: 0
Default ATB: 100%
Abilities: Deprotect L2 (25), Deshell L2 (25)
Ailment Resistance +33%, ATB Recovery +10

Dangerous Blossom
Max ATB: 0
Default ATB: 100%
Abilities: Debrave L2 (25), Defaith L2 (25)
Ailment Resistance +33%, ATB Recovery +10

Divergence
Max ATB: +30
Default ATB: 50%
Abilites: Debravega L3 (25), Defaithga L3 (25)
Saboteur Drain (Restores HP when attacking an enemy with a status ailment)



Sand Fox
Max ATB: +30
Default ATB: 50%
Abilities: Deprotectga L3 (25), Deshellga L3 (25)
Saboteur Siphon (Recovers ATB when attacking an enemy with a status ailment)

Artix fucked around with this message at 01:11 on Jan 17, 2017

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
:siren: Intro Cutscene (Polsy) :siren:

Music

Lightning Returns (Title Screen)
The Final 13 Days

:siren: Update 1: The Dark Light Rises (Polsy) :siren:

Music

Lightning's Theme ~ Distant Light
Equilibrium
Chaos

Datalogs



quote:

Lightning the Savior

Lightning has struck the ground once more, but this time, she is the savior almighty God's servant, the legendary figure whose appearance heralds the end of the world.

When she stepped into the grand ballroom that lies at the heart of Yusnaan and confronted Snow, ruler of the city, he made it clear that the reunion was not welcomed. The pair crossed swords, and Snow called her an angel of death. They both share the same grief over Serah's death, so what did Lightning hope to achieve by provoking Snow in this way?

Before their conflict could escalate, a Chaos infusion bloomed in the palace and Snow retreated. When Lightning tried to follow, the path was blocked by a strange young girl called Lumina. By the time Lightning resumed her chase, it was too late, and she had no choice but to return to the Ark.



quote:

People: Lightning

Lightning is one of the humans made l'Cie who turned their backs on their fates and saved humanity. Though she was being used as a pawn by the gods, she fought with her allies to protect her homeland of Cocoon.

When her life seemed her own again, she was swept away by the power of Chaos and was trapped in Valhalla, the unseen realm. She was chosen as the one warrior who would fight to protect humanity's fate, and yet she was struck down in her greatest battle. Serah, her younger sister and the last remaining member of her family, died beyond her reach. Chaos flooded the world, destruction and peril walked hand in hand, and Lightning laid down her sword to sleep in crystal for 500 years.

But now the final days of the world have arrived, and someone has roused the sleeping warrior. He is the almighty god, Bhunivelze, and he tasks her with a new duty. Her final role in humanity's history will be as the savior of souls.



quote:

People: Serah Farron

Serah was Lightning's younger sister, and Snow's fiancee. Once she was embroiled in the games of the gods, but Lightning and Snow helped save her form that fate, as they fought with the help of their allies.

When Lightning became trapped in another world, Serah took up arms at her request. She set out on a journey through time to stop Caius Ballad in his attempts to alter history and ultimately brought Caius down with a strength of heart equal to that of her sister. Just when it appeared that she had successfully brought humanity back to the path to peace, her journey ended. The future can be changed, but not without a great price.

Now it is Lightning's turn to sacrifice, and she will give anything to see her sister alive and smiling again.



quote:

People: Lumina

This mysterious young girl appears to be able to control the power of Chaos, and likes to get in Lightning's way at every turn.

It seems that she has met Snow before, and the two have more than just a passing acquaintance. but Lightning has spent the last five centuries in crystal, and she has no way of knowing what could have happened between the two.

Still, she cannot deny that the girl bears a striking similarity to Serah. But Serah is dead, and this Lumina seems to have her own goals.



quote:

People: Snow Villiers

Serah's fiancee from a lifetime ago, Snow fought alongside Lightning when they were both l'Cie.

When Lightning disappeared, Snow went beyond the constraints of time to learn the truth. While on his journey, he embraced a dangerous fate, becoming a l'Cie once again for the terrible power that it granted him. Yet even gambling away his own future did not win him what he wanted, and in the end he was not able to be with Serah when she died.

Centuries have passed since that day and the world has changed. Snow rules the glittering city of Yusnaan as its Patron, and hides away within his palace. Have the long years of regret over his lost love changed him forever?

Artix fucked around with this message at 01:08 on Feb 2, 2017

ArctheNomad
Dec 30, 2012

Did you ever beat Canary Mary? No! I haven't even PLAYED Bioshock Infinite!
gently caress yeah, I really hope that you guys discuss how vastly broken and OP some of the DLC outfits are. Oh and as awkward as it is to say, rule63 Cloud to save the day!

Edit: Also, if it is at all possible I would love it if you would show off just how broken Cloud's SOLDIER costume and Buster Sword are. I thought it showed off just how much of a hard on S-E still has for him.

ArctheNomad fucked around with this message at 14:12 on May 13, 2016

pichupal
Mar 23, 2013

Poochy ain't Stupid.
I might be.
Oh, you really did do Artix Returns: May Fantasy 13th.

This was my favourite in the 13 trilogy so I'm excited to see what everyone will think of it. It's just so different. I do still like the original quite a bit too.

Edit: Fedule sounds so happy it's really strange.

pichupal fucked around with this message at 13:56 on May 13, 2016

Yapping Eevee
Nov 12, 2011

STAND TOGETHER.
FIGHT WITH HONOR.
RESTORE BALANCE.

Eevees play for free.
This should definitely be an experience.

AlphaKretin
Dec 25, 2014

A vase to face encounter.

...Vase to meet you?

...

GARVASE DAY!

Oh, yes. :allears:

For how long I spent playing this game, I never wound up very good at it, so I'm excited to watch someone competent play.

XainZero
Feb 16, 2011

Final Fantasy 13-3: Majora's Mask or Valkryie Profile: Hrist is a good Tri-Ace game and I'm glad to see a good LP of it.

Admiral H. Curtiss
May 11, 2010

I think there are a bunch of people who can create trailing images. I know some who could do this as if they were just going out for a stroll.
This is easily the best game in the 13 subseries. Dumb as hell and really fun to play.

Aumanor
Nov 9, 2012
Oh man, ground zero. Is this game as stupid as the previous two were?

Fedule
Mar 27, 2010


No one left uncured.
I got you.

Aumanor posted:

Oh man, ground zero. Is this game as stupid as the previous two were?

Absolutely, but in this game it works.

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!

Aumanor posted:

Oh man, ground zero. Is this game as stupid as the previous two were?

Much dumber than 13, about on par with 13-2. Maybe slightly less, if only because we're not dealing with time travel horseshit.

EponymousMrYar
Jan 4, 2015

The enemy of my enemy is my enemy.
The real question is, is it so stupid that it wraps around and makes sense again?

Probably not but still, :its happening gif here:

McDragon
Sep 11, 2007

Hooray, it is this silly game at last. A lot of it is just tremendously fun. It took me a while for the battle system to click, but when it did, it was great.

Also Lumina rules.

Judge Tesla
Oct 29, 2011

:frogsiren:
I will go down in history as the guy who thinks this game is the best of the XIII series and the best Final Fantasy sub-series game in general, I pretty much love everything about the game.

cant cook creole bream
Aug 15, 2011
I think Fahrenheit is better for weather
Finally. I've been waiting for this, ever since your FF13-2 Lp finished.

EponymousMrYar posted:

The real question is, is it so stupid that it wraps around and makes sense again?

Probably not but still, :its happening gif here:

Well, kinda. If you learned all the stupid plot points in the series, your brain degrades so much that you don't even see flaws anymore.
The game is headache inducingly stupid, but feels consistent. It's like a mathematical theorem with absolutely nonsensical axioms.

cant cook creole bream fucked around with this message at 19:57 on May 13, 2016

Rigged Death Trap
Feb 13, 2012

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

YEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
THIS IS A GODD MONTH FOR LP.

FeyerbrandX
Oct 9, 2012

Somewhere in that city, there's an old Opthimolegist sign For Dr. Ecklesberg and other symbolism showing how Snow is throwing his Doom Party to get Serah's attention.

Then she dies at the end... or she already died before the story started. Symbolism is hard.

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
So crow linked me this and even though it's not directly relevant it's still cool as poo poo. Lightning's gunblade, complete with being able to shift between "blade" and "gun".

Fedule
Mar 27, 2010


No one left uncured.
I got you.

pichupal posted:

Edit: Fedule sounds so happy it's really strange.

I resent the state of my #brand.

AradoBalanga
Jan 3, 2013

Well, it's finally happened. We've reached the final leg of Motomu Toriyama's Wild Ride. I'm kind of liking Hope as mission control, although I doubt we'll be getting any fun codec conversations from him.

Also, that broken sword tip is going to be flat-out forgotten, isn't it?

Sally
Jan 9, 2007


Don't post Small Dash!
This is how the subforum ends. Not with a bang, but a Lightning Returns LP.

Felinoid
Mar 8, 2009

Marginally better than Shepard's dancing. 2/10

AradoBalanga posted:

Also, that broken sword tip is going to be flat-out forgotten, isn't it?

I feel like this could've been the result of a pissing contest.

"You think Lightning could save the entire world? As if."
"gently caress you, I bet Lightning could save the world with even just HALF a sword!"

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013






Madness... the madness... begins... [gurgling noises]

cuntman.net
Mar 1, 2013

it happening :toot:

whowhatwhere
Mar 15, 2010

SHINee's back

pichupal posted:

Edit: Fedule sounds so happy it's really strange.

I don't understand how I'm supposed to realize everything is terrible if the british voice isn't telling me it is :ohdear:

Artix posted:

I really really hope you've played XIII-2 because this game isn't going to make a lick of sense if you don't know what happened with XIII-2

I "know" what happened in XIII-2. This game (with the caveat that I've only watched Kung-Fu Jesus's LP, so perhaps it makes more sense later) makes XIII-2 look coherent :colbert:

DrakePegasus
Jan 30, 2009

It was Plundersaurus Rex's dream to be the greatest pirate dragon ever.

I first played 13-2 immediately after watching the modern Doctor Who series. Everything made complete sense to me, and even seemed comparatively logical. I might hook my PS3 up again and finally try this game out, even if it means fighting my complete lack of rhythm and dread of time limits.

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013





DrakePegasus posted:

I first played 13-2 immediately after watching the modern Doctor Who series. Everything made complete sense to me, and even seemed comparatively logical. I might hook my PS3 up again and finally try this game out, even if it means fighting my complete lack of rhythm and dread of time limits.

Scalding Coffee
Jun 26, 2006

You're already dead
I noticed Snow gets name dropped in the opening datalogs while Noel is considered a nameless ally at best, despite being player 1 in the prequel.

whowhatwhere
Mar 15, 2010

SHINee's back
To be fair by far the most notable thing about Noel was his pair of parachute pants.

Archenteron
Nov 3, 2006

:marc:
Galvanize bless us, every one.

cant cook creole bream
Aug 15, 2011
I think Fahrenheit is better for weather

AradoBalanga posted:

Also, that broken sword tip is going to be flat-out forgotten, isn't it?

Surprisingly No_

GeneralYeti
Jul 22, 2012

Look at this smug broken asshole.
Fun thing about Anubys - if you stagger him by Guard Staggering, he's vulnerable to Magic, but if you stagger him by raising his Stagger wave (I don't remember what it's called exactly, but it's that blue-yellow-red thing) he's vulnerable to Physical attacks.

In other words the fighting in this game is fun and great when you're not fighting the same enemies over and over again. It rewards being good at the game.

FoolyCharged
Oct 11, 2012

Somebody call for an ant?

I was really disappointed when I realized that the game was in fact playing lightning up as a good guy and not a crazy serial killer "saving" everyone. Not particularly surprised, but it would be hella funny if Snow's initial assessment was on point and shared by the rest of the world.

Scalding Coffee
Jun 26, 2006

You're already dead
That would ruin the Lightning trilogy. It would have been better if Lightning just admitted that she has a murderboner and got the shades from a victim.

Archenteron
Nov 3, 2006

:marc:
I mean when you swagger into a room, chokeslam the guard who accosts you, and then remove his soul, people might get a bad first impression :black101:

Asparagus32
Aug 16, 2015
Great to see this LP starting finally! Is this still played by Artix or did you switch now? Just asking since something along these lines was mentioned towards the end of the FFXIII-2 thread.

Since you talked about easy/normal mode; did they add/change stuff for easy mode on the PC version? I can't remember it changing any specific mechanics apart from abilities costing less, enemies being weaker and the health regeneration, which mostly allows you to have more leeway with your item selection since you don't have to heal yourself outside of combat (yes, it totally nullifies the gimmick of one dungeon, but that's not exactly a big part of the game).

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!

Asparagus32 posted:

Great to see this LP starting finally! Is this still played by Artix or did you switch now? Just asking since something along these lines was mentioned towards the end of the FFXIII-2 thread.

I am still the one playing. It may not stay that way (there are at least a few fights that I am flat out not good enough if my first playthrough was any indication) but for the vast majority of the game, I'm going to be in the driver's seat.

FoolyCharged posted:

I was really disappointed when I realized that the game was in fact playing lightning up as a good guy and not a crazy serial killer "saving" everyone. Not particularly surprised, but it would be hella funny if Snow's initial assessment was on point and shared by the rest of the world.

It will become apparent fairly quickly that while Lightning is the Savior, there are more than a few people who are not so enthusiastic about seeing her again.

A Pleasant Hug
Dec 30, 2007

...It's the thought that counts, right?
So, I have this whole "trilogy" of FFXIII, and I've told myself repeatedly to play through FFXIII-2 before trying to play Lightning Returns. Like, it makes sense, right?

Problem is I can't stand XIII-2 for reasons incomprehensible to me, and Lightning Returns is still sitting in on my shelf, still in the shrink-wrap. Can I skip that and move onto this game, or am I going to be left in the dark and not know what the hells even going on anymore

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Junkozeyne
Feb 13, 2012
Watch a LP/read a summary otherwise you will be really in the dark.

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