FuturePastNow posted:

The Kazon were meant to be space street gangs. Like the Bloods and the Crips with starships. The intent with them was kinda racist, but Berman being a lazy hack worked in their favor and the writers forgot about the gang angle after a while.

Neddy Seagoon posted:

Alliances;

Janeway, after a LOT of cajoling from the entire loving crew (including Tuvok) tries to make an alliance with the Kazon to stop them shooting Voyager. She manages to get all the Mages to the table in good faith, along with the Trabe, the race that originally enslaved the Kazon.

When the Trabe betray the meeting and try to murder the Mages via gunship (without managing to successfully kill anyone IN A TINY ROOM USING SHIP WEAPONS), Janeway writes off the wholel idea of peace altogether and gives the crew the most jingoistic nationalist speech I've ever seen in a sci-fi show, about how they don't need any alliances and the only thing they can trust are the holy and most sacred guiding principles of The Federation.

The Federation that is built on forging alliances and relationships with new races for the betterment of all members.

Neddy Seagoon posted:

I forgot to add that Janeway's tone of voice during the speech makes it sound like she's ready to space anyone who ever dares suggest bringing up the topic of making alliances ever again.

Hector Beerlioz posted:

I thought the enterprise d had a special tank room for the dolphin people

Teriyaki Hairpiece posted:

The chairs are so that during a fight the disposable ensigns can't escape their exploding consoles. Stand-up people are important, so they're allowed to dodge.

Arcsquad12 posted:

Mayweather has been in space, where has his chair ever gone? That's what I thought.

Big Mean Jerk posted:

I didn't know what this was, so I googled it and now I hate you for bringing it to my attention. Or maybe I'm grateful, since I now have a quantified example of everything I hate about modern pop music.

Big Mean Jerk posted:

https://thepatterning.com/2016/08/20/the-millennial-whoop-a-glorious-obsession-with-the-melodic-alternation-between-the-fifth-and-the-third/

It's the earworm that makes every song sound like an American Eagle commcercial

bloodychill posted:

If a deranged Gul Dukat ever calls you in the middle of the night, you should probably just hang up the subspace signal.

naem posted:

VectorSigma posted:

dukat's half bajoran son will be back in ds9 2: deep space harder

bloodychill posted:

To be fair, a big part of DS9 was federation officers realizing the ferengi weren't too bad while the ferengi realized they needed to play better with their allies if they wanted to keep doing business with them. Occasionally Quark would even land a decent blow on Siskp during their arguments.

Nog was cool, I liked his ptsd episode.

drilldo squirt posted:

That could have been a really good episode if the writers were better.

frogge posted:

In fact I kind of dig their attempt at grimdark sci fi in a trek universe.


Haha yes it was.

angerbeet posted:

Beaten like a rented Targ, nublet

Blistex posted:

Just re-watched TNG: "Up the Long Ladder" (Irish stereotype episode) and holy poo poo, it is just one rung under "Code of Honour" (african stereotype episode) on the racism ladder. The only redeeming factors were...

"I thought I had."

and

Blistex posted:

Isn't it ironic. . . don't you think?

Neddy Seagoon posted:

Scientific Method;

Out-of-phase aliens experiment on the crew in what has some genuinely creepy moments from Seven's perspective seeing the poo poo they're doing to the crew. They're big mistake was their experiment on Janeway; They tried to make her even more psychotic.

bloodychill posted:

dooming another pre-warp species to doom

VectorSigma posted:

drowned in pussy juice posted:

The entire animated series is on Netflix and I've never seen it before and it's so precious and beautiful and I think it might be my favourite trek

Big Mean Jerk posted:

"Well, should we at least send it to destroy their center of power or one of their many capital cities?"
"Nah, just shoot at it some place that's been a backwater shithole for the last 500 years."

Mo_Steel posted:

The rod stewart version is better than the one they used for enterprise

also i submit that this is the most voyager episode:

Neddy Seagoon posted:

Endgame, Parts 1 and 2;

Voyager's made it home! Ten years ago today, Voyager flew in over the Golden Gate Bridge among fireworks and cheering onlookers in a small crowd scene that looks nothing like a small section of a larger group. In the end they wound up spending twenty-three years in the Delta Quadrant and now they're all getting together for their annual reunion party.

Janeway's an Admiral, Harry Kim is a Captain with his own ship, The Doctor has gotten married to a lovely blonde woman (and settled on the name of 'Joe'). B'Elanna has become a liaison to the Klingon Empire, and Tom Paris... has lost his hair.


Seriously, I loving lost it when I saw this. Poor, poor, bastard . He's also a holo-novelist now, and his and B'Elanna's daughter is an Ensign in Starfleet, who is apparently on some secret job for Janeway and couldn't make it.

Reg Barclay gets to attend as well, making a toast to everyone who made it back... and those who never did . Turns out Seven's dead, as is Chakotay. Admiral Janeway's also become an expert on fighting the Borg and lectures at Starfleet Academy. I can only presume the intent is that if they can survive a semester under Janeway they'll never be afraid of anything else again. Ever. A call from Miral Paris reveals 'the thing' is ready, but the dealer (a Klingon named Korath) wants to meet in person. That gets sidelined for a quick visit to see Tuvok, who has somehow lost his marbles in the preceding 26 years and spends his days scribbling manuscripts by candlelight in a dark isolated medical room. It's one last goodbye, because apparently Janeway's not coming back from whatever she's planning to do. And gets followed up by a second one last stop at a grave on a small hill set to look at Chakotay's grave. With the general inference he was never the same after Seven croaked. It's almost a quiet and sombre moment... if it wasn't whiplashed away with a cut to present-day Tom Paris being woken by his wife going into labour.

It's a false alarm, much to the annoyance of the crew's betting pool (no mention of what is being betted with, just a 'betting pool'.), and after a general meeting between Chakotay and Janeway it's revealed Chakotay and Seven have started dating as they share a pleasant picnic lunch in Cargo Bay 2. The most platonic and emotionless dating you've ever scene. Meanwhile in the Mess Hall, Icheb scares Tuvok by kicking his rear end at Kal-toh, and Tuvok walks in the "he's getting sick" subplot with an immediate visit to Sick Bay. His concentration is lapsing so they have to up his medication against the neurological condition he's shown no signs of up until now, and we'd really care more if this wasn't the loving series finale .

We also get one final appearance from Neelix, with Seven actually showing emotions like a normal person and enjoying a game of Kadis-kot. Right up until she tells him she sees something weird and possibly dangerous on the sensors and hangs up on him. Hold that thought for a little bit, it'll be funny later in hindsight. Turns out they're picking up weird readings from inside a Nebula that might be a whole cluster of wormholes and maybe one of them might lead to the Alpha Quadrant.

Buut we need to go see what's happening in the future again, and Tuvok's having a sudden violent episode to try and get the Doctor's attention, managing to get the Doctor to understand she's gone off and not coming back. Trying to investigate what Janeway's up to leads him to Reg Barclay, who's been helping Admiral Janeway acquire a shuttle for her trip, and he holds up under the Doctor's interrogation for all of thirty seconds before spilling the beans. It's too late anyway, because Janeway's already meeting with Korath and his Klingon buddies, offering to get him a seat on the Klingon High Council in exchange for whatever his thing is. He tries to back out of the deal, insisting he wants her shuttle's shield generator as well or no deal. She leaves, and it's pretty clear he's going to be hosed over in short order.

Present-day Voyager, meanwhile, goes poking its nose into the Nebula and spots what might be a ship ahead of them, making no effort to try and evade the moving unknown object until A loving BORG CUBE FLIES RIGHT BY THEM, OH SWEET gently caress RUN FOR IT! _{Because the Borg are apparently terrifying in this episode, I guess.} The Borg Queen's seen them, but lets them go. Because... Eeeeviilll? . The general consensus is gently caress the Nebula and the Wormholes within, because apparently there's a good 47 Cubes flying around the region and wow this story just got stupid. If there were that many Borg Cubes there, the entire loving region should be assimilated. Borg do not hide, nor do they generally go for discretion.

Seven also has a visit to the Doctor, because she wants him to try an experimental procedure he was developing to fix the failsafes in her Cortical Node that keep her from being able to experience strong emotions (despite the fact we see her clearly doing things like getting pissed off from time-to-time), and it'll be a dangerous procedure. That never gets brought up again for the rest of the episode, because they're just loving going for broke and throwing every possibly-interesting plotline at the wall with no fucks left to give anymore. The Doctor also gets shot down with his offers for help with regards to helping her exploring intimate relations.

Admiral Janeway, meanwhile, fucks over Korath by coming back for a return visit so she can slap a beacon on her prize and beam out with it. Sucker. She manages to leg it with some help from Harry Kim rocking up in his ship to come and supposedly arrest her because the Doctor told on her. But it's Harry Kim and even as a Captain he'd never dare cross her. Turns out what Janeway acquired is a time machine, and she's gonna go back and make it so Seven never dies and everyone gets home alive because... okay? Like, apparently another 20-odd crew died as well before they got home, but no Seven is the loss she must undo because... . It's almost a decent episode, right up until you realize this is the end of Part 1 and sweet gently caress-all has actually happened for 45 minutes. The cliffhanger is Admiral Janeway popping into the present and telling Captain Janeway she's come to get them home. Also the Borg Queen's listening in and being smugly evil, as she is want to do.

Admiral Janeway's turned up with sweet anti-Borg technology, convincing her younger self to go take that Transwarp Conduit back to the Alpha Quadrant because it's so crazy it might work. Also Janeway's 'favourite cup' has transformed from a china teacup to a metal coffee mug since the last time it was seen onscreen. Stupid temporal causality . The upgrades are actually pretty goddamn cool; Big generator plates are attached to the external hull of Voyager, spawning an armor shell around the entire ship. They also somehow manufacture "Trans-phasic torpedoes" in unknown quantities (so much for that precious low number of Photon Torpedoes that simply couldn't be replaced...), and the Borg Queen pops into Seven's mind while she regenerates to give her a good stern warning that the Borg Queen will gently caress them all up if they step into her nebula again. She's been leaving them be up until now because of poor writing Seven's her favourite. It turns out to be an empty threat anyway, because the Borg can't even touch Voyager in its armor shell, and the Transphasic Torpedoes pop Borg Cubes with single shots apiece. When they find the wormholes, however, Captain Janeway has a change of heart. Turns out it's a Trans-Warp Hub, one of only six in the galaxy, and can send Borg Cubes anywhere in any Quadrant of the galaxy.

And now anyone with half a brain can ask the obvious question; If they can go anywhere, why haven't they loving conquered everything yet? . Captain Janeway wants to blow the Hub to tiny little bits, while Admiral Janeway just wants to get them home. Captain Janeway wins, because the good Admiral has mellowed ever-so-slightly in her years and isn't quite as good as the old death-stare anymore. Admiral Janeway takes her shuttle to go into the nebula and use a Conduit to reach Unimatrix Alpha, planning to distract the Borg Queen and disable the security systems she personally controls that are keeping the fancy rings in the Conduits protected. A few of those popping in a single Transwarp Conduit will destroy the entire Hub, apparently. There is just zero loving tension at all in all this, as the Borg Cubes can't touch Voyager as it rushes into a Conduit and rides for home, and Admiral Janeway lets herself get assimilated so a virus infects the Queen and most of the Collective. The Borg Queen goes to pieces over this, literally, and manages to get a single unaffected Borg Sphere to go pursue Voyager while the Unimatrix complex blows up, taking her and Janeway with it . The Sphere's behind Voyager, riding their rear end and eating through their armor, until the Sphere pops out in Earth space in front of a waiting fleet of Starfleet ships... and explodes from the inside because Voyager somehow managed to get inside it . No, really, there's no explanation for how they got inside the loving thing. B'Elanna gave birth during the trip, and the last scene of the series is Voyager flying to Earth with the fleet.

Epilogue? What epilogue? They're clearly home and you don't need to know anything more about these characters.

Now, remember what I said about holding onto that thought about Neelix getting cut off on his call? That's the last time they speak to him. As far as he will ever know, Voyager just vanished after investigating something that might've been a wormhole and never contacted him again. Ever. For all he knows, they probably all died because it's not like the lovely little Talaxian colony has the equipment necessary to talk with the Pathfinder Project.

Timby posted:

It's best not to try to make the Borg make sense; you'll go cross-eyed after five minutes and have a seizure after 10.

Just be glad they didn't get to do the episode they were planning for Enterprise's fifth season, which would have had Alice Krige as a brilliant science officer on the ship, but she gets assimilated and her intelligence manifests itself as the Queen. Because, you know, everything needs a goddamn origin story.

Mondian posted:

Yeah right, RIP ENT S05 what could have been

Mister Facetious posted:

Haven't read/listened to it in at least four or five years.

shadow puppet of a posted:

It was certainly unique for having near movie grade effects at times, but when effects weren't happening in space it was very much sound stage stuff so it was an odd mix. But it was very distinctly its own class for a long time until effects came way down in price and by then, like 5,6 years later while TNG was still airing, even the most dogshit of syndicated tv shows had a pinch of deliberate CGI here and there.

Once SeaQuest DSV came it everything unique about TNG's look had been redone on all levels.

Also, DSV was set in 2018 so well done with the environmental calamity and rising oceans predictions on that one.

The General posted:

This episode is a tease of some alternate universe with a sulu show.

Also confirms exploding consoles are not only recognized as a problem but also detectable for when they're going to explode.

Crowsbeak posted:

So I am trying to get my sister and her fiancé who both love TNG anf Voyager into DS9. What episode should I use?

Big Mean Jerk posted:

Somewhere the ghost of Gene Roddenberry is fully erect

shadow puppet of a posted:

Kai Winn must have known after the first time they had sex that Anjohl Tennan was not on the up and up.. Think about it, aint no way Bajorans use condoms as they are against the will of the prophets and Cardiassian jizz must reek of kanar and taspar like pineapple does to human jizz so either Dukat went as far as to implant into himself Bajoran balls and the Bajoran equivalent of a prostate, and then wire them up into his rebuilt Cardie penis, or Winn was knowingly wiping off a substance that smelled like Rom's bartowel during the occupation.

quote:

murder bump-heads

quote:

STAR TREK: The Bump-Head Murders

Zesty posted:

Well, it's actually a peacekeeping and humanitarian armada. Furthermore

Baronjutter posted:

If I was in starfleet and anywhere near a computer for my job I'd demand a full outfit like this.


People made fun of these guys. "lol why would a guy working a computer in a desk job need a huge helmet and a thick protective jumpsuit!?"

FilthyImp posted:

Wasn't it more of a balance of power bullshit prime directive thing?

Knowing the writers they probably thought it was like handing bazookas to the Crips.

Neddy Seagoon posted:

I love how in one episode they manage to get all the Kazon Sects together with their original oppressors (they were a slave race you see, before they stole their ships and ran off), and the Kazon are perfectly willing to make peace. It's their rear end in a top hat former oppressors who try to stab the Sect leaders in the back by using a ship to shoot at the meeting. And manage to get no-one killed but themselves.

But clearly this means peace among the Kazon Sects is impossible and we are never ever to try something like that again. Captain's Orders (No, really, that's how they cap the episode off).

Baronjutter posted:

man gently caress you star trek thread I'm watching LEXX now.