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loinburger
Jul 10, 2004
Sweet Sauce Jones

My cat likes to bring me her prizes which are sometimes dead mice but are usually live mice that either have a broken leg or that have had a leg clawed/bitten off. Right now I'm putting the poor fuckers outside (my cat is an indoor cat and the mice she's killing/crippling are indoor mice) to hopefully be killed by a more competent predator than my cat, but odds are they're just going to die of starvation or exposure. What's a "good" way to kill them that a. is relatively humane, b. won't make much of a mess, and c. won't get me bitten?

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Bird Drugs
May 20, 2016


According to the American Veterinary Medical Association, there are a number of humane means of euthanasia for rodents. Since you're not in a lab setting, cervical dislocation (breaking the neck) is quick if you are able to do it correctly. It is rather squicky, however, and if done tentatively/poorly will only make things even more awful. But, as long as you are not too forceful, it does not make a bloody mess, just breaks the neck internally. If you feel comfortable doing it, you could use gardening gloves to prevent a bite. I'm not exactly sure of the correct procedure. NOT a vet.

Here's their guidelines on euthanasia. https://www.avma.org/KB/Policies/Do.../euthanasia.pdf - rodent info is on page 49.

Three-Phase
Aug 5, 2006

by zen death robot


Brick 'em?

Still a better way to go than dying from thirst or exposure in a glue trap.

Three-Phase
Aug 5, 2006

by zen death robot


Well that was probably not the best PDF to read through before bed.

Rodent guillotines are a thing.

Tendai
Mar 16, 2007

"When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber."



Grimey Drawer

I deal with this problem every winter when mice come in because try keeping them out of a hundred year old lovely cabin I will second breaking their neck; in my case I grab them in a few layers of plastic shopping bags while wearing gloves (rodents here carry everything from hantavirus and beyond), and just kind of snap their neck. Luckily Kiska usually plays with them until they die, so it's a rare thing.

Fluffy Bunnies
Jan 9, 2009

I actually fully support ICE


Don't snap their necks. Toss them in two layers of ziploc bag and strike them against the counter as hard as you possibly can. Bluntforce impact will kill them in an instant and you're very likely to not pop their neck right unless you know what you're doing (Tendai's done it so much that they likely do). Like, you're out to kill them. Smash them like you're smashing a coconut to break it open. I literally mean as hard as you can. Do it two or three times to be sure, but if you're doing it hard enough they die on the first swing. You're just doing the extra two or three to make sure (kind of like when they euthanize a pet they give a dose so high it can't possibly survive it when half would suffice).

E: I also don't suggest bricking because I've missed once or twice trying it that way and watching a mouse twitch weakly, obviously still alive, trying to drag it's smashed middle section around is really sad. I raised mice for a good long while. I usually don't use the ziploc, I just bang the poo poo out of them on the counter by their tail. But without the ziploc method you run the risk of degloving a dead mouse's tail (never handle your mice only by the tail if they're pets~) and that's terrifying for the average person, even if the mouse is dead.

Jenner
Jun 5, 2011
Lowtax banned me because he thought I was trolling by acting really stupid. I wasn't acting.


Get a snake. Feed mice to snake. Problem solved.

Fluffy Bunnies
Jan 9, 2009

I actually fully support ICE


Jenner posted:

Get a snake. Feed mice to snake. Problem solved.

Never do this with wild rodents. You have no idea what they're carrying and more than a few keepers who have tried this have lost snakes due to poisons, parasites and what not.

Propaganda Machine
Jan 2, 2005

Truthiness!

Late to the party, but why not just freeze them. They just go to sleep, and it's not disgusting.

Tofu Terry
Oct 4, 2015

by FactsAreUseless


Propaganda Machine posted:

Late to the party, but why not just freeze them. They just go to sleep, and it's not disgusting.

Freezing is a very painful way to go. Knocking them unconscious and freezing is alright though.

It's way easier to just use blunt for trauma in general. Rodents have very fragile skulls.

Chair In A Basket
Aug 6, 2005

I'm basically Jesus.


Nap Ghost

maybe make your cat and outdoor animal so that she will bring you a more varied assortment of dead and mutilated wildlife

Evil Sprite Can
Oct 23, 2008


Is there a reason drowning isn't an option?

e: My company uses Orkin and Orkin refuses to use any traps that aren't sticky traps in our houses. I usually sabotage the traps with oil, but occasionally I'll get a call from staff freaking out about a screaming mouse stuck to one and I just tell them to drown'em in a bucket of water.

Evil Sprite Can fucked around with this message at Jun 26, 2016 around 17:32

Sock Weasel
Sep 13, 2010



...Because drowning is also a horrifically inhumane way to kill something? (Also generally speaking if someone can't handle dealing with a screaming animal in a sticky trap they're probably not going to be able to drown it.)

Bagging & whacking it against something solid by someone who is willing to go all in is the quickest way to go.

Letmebefrank
Oct 9, 2012


My procedure for my indoor cats' mice is the following (I live in an old wooden house and they get them inside) :

Wait until they start to fight for the mice. Takes about 20s from capture.

Sooner or later the idiot with the crippled mouse will drop it on the floor.

I put on gloves, grab the mouse from the floor (cats will not notice, as they are having a stare-match with low growling), and take the poor thing outside.

With a sharp knife I just very quickly decapitate the poor animal against a wooden block.

--

This is the most humane way I have managed to do this - takes only a second, and is sure way to kill it.

Doing outside is preferred, as there will be some amount of blood.

Also, gloves are good to avoid getting ticks/pee/critters on your hands.

Evil Sprite Can
Oct 23, 2008


Sock Weasel posted:

...Because drowning is also a horrifically inhumane way to kill something? (Also generally speaking if someone can't handle dealing with a screaming animal in a sticky trap they're probably not going to be able to drown it.)

Bagging & whacking it against something solid by someone who is willing to go all in is the quickest way to go.

Don't get me wrong, I agree that bag and whack is the way to go and thankfully I've only had to do it once. However I don't see how drowning, as a second option, is less humane than not doing anything when you don't have someone willing to whack, chop or smash.

I didn't mean the oh-my-god-that's-so-sad freaking out, I mean the oh-my-god-that's-so-gross freaking out. I've told them they need to kill it one way or the other and drowning is apparently less gross so that's what they pick. With gloves, a round bucket and a dinner plate it's low effort and over fairly quick.

It's better than being thrown in the trash half alive.

take me to the beaver
Mar 28, 2010


Honestly it occurs to me that pretty much anything is going to be more humane than what your cat is going to do to it.

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jlechem
Nov 2, 2011



Fun Shoe

Fluffy Bunnies posted:

Don't snap their necks. Toss them in two layers of ziploc bag and strike them against the counter as hard as you possibly can. Bluntforce impact will kill them in an instant and you're very likely to not pop their neck right unless you know what you're doing (Tendai's done it so much that they likely do). Like, you're out to kill them. Smash them like you're smashing a coconut to break it open. I literally mean as hard as you can. Do it two or three times to be sure, but if you're doing it hard enough they die on the first swing. You're just doing the extra two or three to make sure (kind of like when they euthanize a pet they give a dose so high it can't possibly survive it when half would suffice).

E: I also don't suggest bricking because I've missed once or twice trying it that way and watching a mouse twitch weakly, obviously still alive, trying to drag it's smashed middle section around is really sad. I raised mice for a good long while. I usually don't use the ziploc, I just bang the poo poo out of them on the counter by their tail. But without the ziploc method you run the risk of degloving a dead mouse's tail (never handle your mice only by the tail if they're pets~) and that's terrifying for the average person, even if the mouse is dead.

My best friend used to feed mice and rats to his rock python. More than once he would have to kill them before feeding and he used to do this until one day something happened and the mouse took a lot of whacks to die. It looked like a loving crime scene outside his front door.

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