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last night, i was wearing a low backed dress and it was hot and the sweat of my back came into the soft beige vinyl, pure, innocent, of my new office chair. the sweat touched it thoroughly and when i lifted myself away from the padding i saw that there was a blue mark where my back had leaned indulgent (unaware). the mark is like the indigo of a wild horse's tail. it turns out i probably have this it has a really cool name, "pseudochromhidrosis", and it's actually kind of harmless but i am definitely going to wash myself down with hibiscrub. if anyone would like to see the mark just say and you can. im glad i dont sweat while peeing or there would probably be some explaining to do to my landlord. early attempts to remove the mark have proven largely unsuccessful although it looks a little more fanned out now currently figuring on how to use my sweat as cheap/free dye (cost of body energy is to be considered). if anyone would like to go into business based on this near-perpetual source of turning things that are white into things that are blue, please let me know and i will quickly start to get warm in preparation |
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May 29, 2016 18:40
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| # ? Apr 16, 2024 10:52 |
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and BEFORE any of you jokers' can say it..., i know about this song and how it applies to my sweating body's hormonal/bacterial reactions with plastic |
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May 29, 2016 18:46
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Your repulsive body is ready to become so much More
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May 29, 2016 18:55
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go into a lab and screw up litmus paper tests Ask kids "why is the sky blue?" and then stand up, point at the place where you were sitting and then at yourself while nodding smugly If people ask tell them you're the Tidy Bowl Man's daughter You can customize wedding invitations with the pastel blue of the Yob by carefully layering them on your bed at night and get the big bux for them the next day! "No, it's not a stain. It's just my sadness leaking out into the world, sorry" -AB, Memoirs from the 'Yob https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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May 29, 2016 18:58
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you'd think it would've affected some of your clothes before! unless it's just a reaction with the vinyl? well, you'll never mix up your cubicle with anyone else's, at least.
~sig~ |
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May 29, 2016 19:30
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~*
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afaict pseudochromhidrosis, which is like the junior version and is what i have, only causes the reaction with specific materials and clothing isnt usually on the list. anything with plastics seems to be the number one trouble spot, but most people arent pressing their bare skin on plastic surfaces a whole bunch, so mostly people get it with toilet seats. in my case my daring fashion choice spelled my nice new chair's doom it also only happens to women because (iirc) the bacteria react to high levels of estrogen in the sweat and that causes the tinting reaction with the plastic. my hormones have always been weird and a lot of women who get it seem to be in the process of switching birth control, being pregnant, or starting menopause, so that would check out. so basically the awe inspiring power of my raw femininity makes my sweat turn plastic blue, which is a true sentence i never thought i'd have occasion to say |
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May 29, 2016 19:37
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Alright so- you're Android Blues, you turn things blue. I'm Splatmaster, so parachuting is right out for me ever like I was gonna jump out of a perfectly good airplane! I was reading through the posts in the thread you linked, the reaction people had upon discovering their condition was funny (but only because I knew it wasn't a serious condition). Glad to hear you have a silly, harmless conversation starter for a condition! Thanks for sharing, too! I had a condition called pityriasis rosea, which is harmless for the most part but your body gets covered in patches of itchy skin, and I mean to tell ya- it itched. There's no real known cause for it, alhough there were a few theories but nothing concrete. I was given a prescription for something for the itching that worked very nicely, I forget what it was though. An oval green pill that made me feel pretty alright. It cleared up completely in a few months, but it coincided with my wife and I getting our first hot tub, so going into the whole thing I was starting to think I had some dreaded hot tub illness that you can get from the chemicals or something. Another goofy affliction I found out I had is called trigger finger, in which the tendon in my fingers would act as a sort of catapult, I was able to launch pennies across the room. I felt bad if my finger triggered and I plunked a kitty I was reaching out to pet in the ear or nose. Poor kitties... I had surgery recently for something called Dupletren's Contracture, pronounced "Du pluh TRONs". My wife upon first hearing of it immediately decided I had Transformer's disease. I humor my wife, it's why we'll be celebrating our 28th anniversary this August. Turn your world blue, because why the hell not? https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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May 29, 2016 20:19
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| it's very cool but just so surreal, like the wires between cause and effect got switched up somewhere along the line. like yves klein woke up one day and tried to do a blue canvas but opened up his paint tin and it was full of sweat | |
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May 29, 2016 20:28
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sounds like you blue it, op
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May 29, 2016 21:56
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I'm glad to hear you've got such potential with the Blue man group
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May 29, 2016 22:02
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Zyla posted:sounds like you blue it, op I snortled and ain't even ashamed |
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May 29, 2016 22:03
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Power Plant Worker: Keep her away from the fuses!
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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May 29, 2016 22:11
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android blues is a bomb disarmer instructions come over the radio "cut the blue wire" she begins to sweat intensely, looks down they're all blue 
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May 29, 2016 22:21
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Zyla posted:android blues is a bomb disarmer https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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May 29, 2016 22:41
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the chair isn't ruined. Just sit in it naked with the air conditioning off for a while and nobody will notice a thing
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May 29, 2016 23:00
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Yeah honestly that's pretty awesome. Get naked and go put blue buttprints on everything. I know i would.
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May 29, 2016 23:14
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i can turn stuff red, but i need to make holes on my body first. seems like you have a simpler way of colouring stuff w ut body OP |
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May 29, 2016 23:14
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Zyla posted:android blues is a bomb disarmer |
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May 30, 2016 00:28
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Heartbroken 2Twice posted:it's very cool but just so surreal, like the wires between cause and effect got switched up somewhere along the line. like yves klein woke up one day and tried to do a blue canvas but opened up his paint tin and it was full of sweat yeah exactly. like, i'm aware i should be freaked out by this rare medical condition i apparently have but honestly im just kind of shaking my head and nodding at the sublime wonder of gods beautiful little accidents. the fact that my body does this is literally like a segment of taut, pertinacious dream logic slipped and fell into the Real Facts grinder along with all the sausage meat from the expression "how the sausages get made" |
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May 30, 2016 00:32
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is that why your username is android blue as opposed to any other color of android
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May 30, 2016 00:33
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im beginning to assume that i merely picked that name as a form of pre-psychic forecasting for my blue destiny |
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May 30, 2016 00:34
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doc: and your baby never left you? android: nope doc: didn't find a new place to dwell? android: not at all doc: drat, this is the trickiest case of the blues I've ever seen |
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May 30, 2016 01:30
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social vegan posted:doc: and your baby never left you?
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May 30, 2016 02:19
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it feels like you have tiny metal splinters in every pore of your skin, if you were wondering. the side effects, i mean. it's ok, i get that a lot, it's the price i pay for total health. i'm glad i colloided into you today. collided. bumped! bumped is what i meant. oh, it's because i've noticed you've been feeling kinda blue lately. no no, i just LOOK blue, but you, you seem like you FEEL blue. it's ok, that's how i felt too, until i discovered colloidal silver. you never heard of it? it's a supplement that's a verifiable cure-all. doctors hate it! you see, many people are sad and sick because their blood silver is too low, which is why the best known names in homeopathic medicine in the united states have come up with a way to make your insides your outsides! here, have a bottle, i always carry a few with me when i'm proselytizing. processing. uh processing how it can be that you haven't heard of this yet! let me know how it works out. i'm not shaking for any particular reason. say who are you voting for this election? you should come to the libertarian rally with me and my friends. we await you 
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May 30, 2016 02:22
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Zyla posted:android blues is a bomb disarmer
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May 30, 2016 02:28
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Zyla posted:android blues is a bomb disarmer lmbo |
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May 30, 2016 02:36
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social vegan posted:doc: and your baby never left you? |
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May 30, 2016 14:59
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nice username/event combo, op.Zyla posted:android blues is a bomb disarmer social vegan posted:doc: and your baby never left you? |
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May 30, 2016 15:42
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social vegan posted:doc: and your baby never left you? |
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May 30, 2016 16:18
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were you recently bitten by a radioactive smurf? or any smurf for that matter?
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May 30, 2016 16:59
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My repulsive body does nothing. NOTHING! |
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May 30, 2016 17:54
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hey op far be it for me to tell you how to live your life but i've watched all the commercials and it sounds like this is a problem for tampons |
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May 30, 2016 18:37
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yeah tampons are made for situations like this where blue fluid needs to be absorbed
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May 30, 2016 18:50
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alternatively: diapers |
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May 30, 2016 19:01
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its ok OP your body oozes the byob colors and that's fine |
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May 30, 2016 19:32
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social vegan posted:hey op far be it for me to tell you how to live your life but i've watched all the commercials and it sounds like this is a problem for tampons
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May 30, 2016 19:34
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| # ? Apr 16, 2024 10:52 |
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eiffel 65: I have a blue house with a blue window. Blue is the colour of all that I wear. Blue are the streets and all the trees are too. I have a girlfriend and she is so blue. Blue are the people here that walk around, Blue like my corvette, it's in and outside. Blue are the words I say and what I think. Blue are the feelings that live inside me. me: 
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May 30, 2016 23:29
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