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I always enjoyed this game and thought others would too and it's simple to play. The Rules 1. Quote someone else's post and then you have to write a brief synopsis on what their film is about based on the movie title they suggest. The titles should be for films that don't exist. Elevator pitches are welcome. 2. Then post your own movie title that's made up. 3. You can also name a movie that doesn't have a sequel and give it a sequel ,but you have to include a title you can't just say "PART 2" I'll start : James Maynard and the Inevitable march towards Death Big Boys American Grafitti 3 : Suburban Intrigue Hollismason fucked around with this message at 23:25 on Jun 6, 2016 |
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Jun 5, 2016 23:50
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I'm honestly surprised this hasn't happened.
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Jun 6, 2016 00:11
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Hollismason posted:Big Boys Rick Johnson (John Cena) and his seven year old nephew Yancy (Jacob Tremblay) switch bodies after a wish gone awry and now it's back to school for Detroit's top defense attorney! Can Rick stand up to the bullies at school and pass the big history test? Can Yancy prove that his uncle's client was framed for all those murders by a corrupt sheriff's office? And will both of them learn an important lesson about self respect before the clock strikes midnight on the winter solstice and makes the switch permanent? Starring: John Cena as Rick Johnson Jacob Tremblay as Yancy Goodson and Charles Dance as Janitor Merlin. New movie title: The Wolf-man Paradox
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Jun 6, 2016 01:51
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Flying Zamboni posted:New movie title: The Wolf-Man Paradox Bill Goodrich (Paul Dano) wakes up in a jail cell one morning covered with blood and charged with a double homicide. The night before, the police caught a werewolf leaving the scene of a grisly murder. He insists he has no memory of the murder, but admits to suffering from lycanthropy. The attorney assigned to him, Shirley Fontaine (Laura Dern) makes a case that Goodrich cannot be held accountable for his actions because he was not human when the crime was committed. Under hypnosis, Goodrich recounts that night, leading Fontaine to question whether the police caught the right man. To make matters worse, the bodies continue to pile up while Goodrich is locked away in the county jail, leading him to break out to find the real killer. Starring: Paul Dano Laura Dern Ray Liotta as Judge Siodmak Special Guest Star: Crispin Glover New movie title: St. Blaise's Day Egbert Souse fucked around with this message at 03:34 on Jun 6, 2016 |
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Jun 6, 2016 03:30
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Egbert Souse posted:The Wolf-Man Paradox St. Blaise Day Connor McConnor (Gerald Butler) is a Catholic Priest with a violent past who's just been assigned to the Vatican Library. When Protestant terrorists attack the Vatican on St. Blaise day, Connor will have to choose between his vows to man or to God. Can he protect his new Pope( Aaron Eckhart) and keep the world from descending into a apocalyptic final religious war between the Protestants and Catholics?! Only God knows now, you'll know this summer. This film reunites the blockbuster team that brought you White House Down and London has Fallen. Get ready for the holiest new summer blockbuster series. Starring Gerald Butler Aaron Eckhart Morgan Freeman Directed by Babak Najafi Written by Bret Ratner New Movie Title: Up, Down, and All Around Hollismason fucked around with this message at 06:38 on Jun 6, 2016 |
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Jun 6, 2016 06:19
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Hollismason posted:New Movie Title: Up, Down, and All Around Set in the late 1940s, newly divorced playboy Phillip Merriweather III (Jon Hamm) sets out to claim the world record for number of elevators ridden, helped by his reporter half-brother Osgood (John C. Reilly). Along the way, he falls for elevator operator Teresa Cooley (Jennifer Lawrence), who has a few secrets of her own. New movie title: Count Dracula's Holiday
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Jun 6, 2016 13:47
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Egbert Souse posted:Count Dracula's Holiday Count Dracula (Stephen Fry) has lost his purpose in the world after his castle got turned into a museum, so his cousins (Stephen Merchant & Miranda Hart) decide to cheer him up with a vacation to Hawaii. Join the fun as they explore the beaches and luaus, helped along by a freak volcanic eruption that blots out the sun for days. Will the old count find love in the bars? Or will the curmudgeon ruin the party plans of his family? Sherlock Holmes: The Case of the Missing Gerbil
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Jun 6, 2016 14:18
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nimby posted:
It has been a long 4 years since Sherlock Holmes (Robert Downey Jr.) sacrificed himself at Reichenbach Falls to kill the insidious Professor Moriarty (Jared Harris), and life has been hard for Doctor John Watson (Jude Law). After losing his wife in an accident, he's moved into 221B Baker Street. When he gets drunk enough, which is quite often these days, he pretends to be Holmes and attempts to solve petty crimes around London. When young Gavin Hollingshead brings "Holmes" the case of his missing pet gerbil Frederick, everything changes. The real Sherlock Holmes, living in hiding right upstairs, suddenly reveals himself, saves Watson and Gavin from a gang of assassins, and sweeps them off to Europe in an desperate attempt to solve the mystery of Frederick's disappearance. What is the meaning of the perfume-scented Dutch letter left in Gavin's cage? What threat does it pose to Kaiser Wilhelm II (Daniel Craig) and his new chancellor, Chlodwig zu Hohenlohe-Schillingsfurst (Charles Dance)? And what does Gavin know about Professor Moriarty that could get them all killed? The game is afoot! Directed by Guy Ritchie. The Biggest Rock In Manitoba
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Jun 6, 2016 15:33
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HypnoCabbage posted:The Biggest Rock In Manitoba I'mma do an elevator pitch instead of the format these have been in thus far, if that's aight "Falling Down as a Coen brothers pastiche starring Bob Odenkirk burning down tourist traps across Canada after being fired from the titular attraction" Okay now try This Movie Will Kill You
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Jun 6, 2016 17:53
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Jenny Angel posted:I'mma do an elevator pitch instead of the format these have been in thus far, if that's aight This Movie Will Kill You It's the mid-50s. Up and coming horror director Roger Katzmann (Ryan Gosling) is looking for a new gimmick to use on his latest movie. He concocts a plan to have audience members and medics paid to give the appearance of people dying of fright during a climactic scene. However, when someone dies of fright for real, he gets more than he bargained for. Next movie: Organ Donor
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Jun 6, 2016 19:42
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Egbert Souse posted:
Bobby Tarkovavich (Adam Sandler) is finally on the right track. He's even got a new job as night security guard for the Brooklyn Organ Bank. When he lets his cousin Yuri (Johnny Depp) in to play cards one quiet Friday night, he discovers that Yuri is the head of an organ smuggling ring. When he wakes up from being knocked out, he discovers he's got to replace 10 kidneys, 4 livers, 2 eyeballs, and a heart by Monday morning or he's going to lose his job and any chance he has with the pretty head nurse (Anna Chlumsky). With the help of his roommates Santos Rosales Martinez (Rob Schneider), Bubba Joe (David Spade), and Vincenzo (John Turturro), Bobby will find himself at every funeral parlor, nursing home, shady hospital, and illegal knife fight in New York to get the organs back. (You just watched this entire movie in your head. I'm sorry.) The Puke Jacket HypnoCabbage fucked around with this message at 23:00 on Jun 6, 2016 |
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Jun 6, 2016 21:20
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Your next Adam Sandler Netflix Original, ladies and gentlemen.
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Jun 6, 2016 21:42
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HypnoCabbage posted:Bobby Tarkovavich (Adam Sandler) is finally on the right track. He's even got a new job as night security guard for the Brooklyn Organ Bank. When he lets his cousin Yuri (Johnny Depp) in to play cards one quiet Friday night, he discovers that Yuri is the head of an organ smuggling ring. When he wakes up from being knocked out, he discovers he's got to replace 10 kidneys, 4 livers, 2 eyeballs, and a heart by Monday morning or he's going to lose his job and any chance he has with the pretty head nurse (Anna Chlumsky). With the help of his roommates Santos Rosales Martinez (Rob Schneider), Bubba Joe (David Spade), and Vincenzo (John Turturro), Bobby will find himself at every funeral parlor, nursing home, shady hospital, and illegal knife fight in New York to get the organs back I love the required "good actor slumming for a paycheck" is Turturro
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Jun 6, 2016 22:33
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HypnoCabbage posted:Bobby Tarkovavich (Adam Sandler) is finally on the right track. He's even got a new job as night security guard for the Brooklyn Organ Bank. When he lets his cousin Yuri (Johnny Depp) in to play cards one quiet Friday night, he discovers that Yuri is the head of an organ smuggling ring. When he wakes up from being knocked out, he discovers he's got to replace 10 kidneys, 4 livers, 2 eyeballs, and a heart by Monday morning or he's going to lose his job and any chance he has with the pretty head nurse (Anna Chlumsky). With the help of his roommates Santos Rosales Martinez (Rob Schneider), Bubba Joe (David Spade), and Vincenzo (John Turturro), Bobby will find himself at every funeral parlor, nursing home, shady hospital, and illegal knife fight in New York to get the organs back. I would watch this.
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Jun 6, 2016 23:27
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I'm disappointed that it doesn't involve church organs in some way. HypnoCabbage posted:The Puke Jacket A restless 20-something nomad named Tyler charms himself into the good graces of a Brooklyn neighborhood's social scene by putting on an air of faux-eccentricity, always wearing an ugly blazer his colleagues refer to as The Puke Jacket. But behind his charming quirky exterior he longs for the small town home he can no longer return to. An indie mumblecore tour de force. Lunar Base Werewolves
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Jun 7, 2016 00:07
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sticklefifer posted:Lunar Base Werewolves Loosely based on the fantasy novel series by F. Paul Wilson, Director Albert Pyun weaves the history of the Second World War and fantasy together into an action packed thrill ride as a group of US soldiers must take refuge in a small convent in Romania. Little do they know that the serene church organ music they hear night and day is used by the nuns of the convent to keep a dark secret in check, one the soldiers have only four weeks to figure out if they want to survive! Featuring an all-star cast and equal parts drama, pathos, and pulse pounding action, LUNAR BASE WEREWOLVES is not to be missed! Starring Dean Cain, Erika Eleniak, Jeff Fahy, Athena Massey, Brion James, Bobbie Phillips, Adrian Paul, Stephen Tobolowsky, Michael Paré and Christopher Plummer as Lord Bathator. Rated NC-17. A History of Violence II: The Golden Path
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Jun 7, 2016 00:33
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Neo Rasa posted:A History of Violence II: The Golden Path It has been over a decade since Tom Stall (Viggo Mortensen) was found by the Irish mob. He fought to protect his withdrawn, small-town existence and survived their revenge for abandoning them years before. After his wife died in a car crash Tom found solace in the bottle, losing his diner and becoming estranged from his children. A shell of a man, apathetic about the power vacuum he left behind being filled by Eastern European drug traffickers, he becomes a target when they find out about his past. Can he convince crime boss Djezek (Keith Allan) that he is not a remnant of the mob and just some burnt-out man or will he be forced to go up against these thugs led by ruthless killer Vladic (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) and turn Millbrook into a war zone? Next Time Again
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Jun 7, 2016 11:00
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BioTech posted:
Detective Shawn Gurst (Macon Blair) is haunted by his failure to save a family from a cruel serial killer, Nathan Adder (Damien Lewis). After Adder kills himself to escape justice, Det. Gurst slides into an alcohol-fueled spiral of self-destruction. While in a coma following his own failed suicide attempt, Det. Gurst discovers he can relive the day of the killing over and over, changing little details each time. However, he finds he cannot escape the time loop just by enacting revenge; is there a way to bring Adder to true justice or does evil always win one way or another? Mines: And The Band Played Moonlight Sonata
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Jun 7, 2016 14:19
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Anal Surgery posted:And The Band Played Moonlight Sonata (1998) dir: Warren Perso. A German-Australian piano prodigy and conscientious objector during the First World War (Ben Mendelsohn) embarks on a concert tour of country New South Wales playing works by Beethoven at a time when anti-German sentiment is at its height. Initially booed and beaten by hostile audiences, he eventually wins them over by the power of music. Widely seen at the time as an attempt to cash in on the success of Shine, it has never found a home video release. Also starring Charles Dance, Bryan Brown, Cameron Daddo, Lochie Daddo and Charles 'Bud' Tingwell as 'Gramps'. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern LIVE! Clipperton fucked around with this message at 15:04 on Jun 7, 2016 |
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Jun 7, 2016 14:43
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Clipperton posted:Rosencrantz and Guildenstern LIVE! (1982) Excerpt taken from Lorent's Guide to Independent Cinema, 23rd ed.: Due to rights clearance issues, this independently produced experiment in guerilla filmmaking from the early 1980s has only been screened in full twice. The stars of an off-Broadway production of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead perform the play wandering Manhattan while being secretly recorded on a handheld camera by the director (who also performs the other parts as needed), while having to improvise as people on the street interact with them. Probably best remembered for the dramatic tonal and plot shift that occurs when an under-supervised five year old wanders up to the actors and the story changes from an existentialist Shakespearian farce to a sci-fi action story about a family of time-traveling orange dinosaurs hunting Darth Vader in their spaceship made of gummy bears. The actors are game, funny, and quick on their feet, as seen in the footchase with the NYPD that ends the film. Camera and sound work are bad, but that's to be expected considering the camera is mounted in a suitcase to conceal it. An interesting discussion piece, if you can find it. (3 stars out of 5) Who's Menstruating In Here?
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Jun 7, 2016 15:43
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HypnoCabbage posted:Excerpt taken from Lorent's Guide to Independent Cinema, 23rd ed.: Who's Menstruating in Here 3 Transgender students at University of South Carolina decide to get revenge on the lawmakers who are deliberately discriminating against them, but when they uncover a heinous baby organ harvesting ring that goes to the top of the government they'll instead be running for their lives. Critics are raving about this screwball comedy and praise the acting of Ryan Gosling, Jared Leto ( making his return to playing a transgendered person ) , Zac Efron who all deliver a tour de force performance as transgender women. " The movie brings hot topics into focus. Ryan Gosling, Jared Leto, and Zac Efron performances as transgender women really bring to light the struggle transgender students face " - Chicago Sun Times " Jared Leto has stolen another Oscar with his portrayal of Shelia a African American Transgender Woman" - Variety "It's almost like they're women!" - HuffPost Directed by Roland Emmerich The Pen Master and the Deadly Owls Hollismason fucked around with this message at 21:13 on Jun 7, 2016 |
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Jun 7, 2016 21:09
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Hollismason posted:The Pen Master and the Deadly Owls (1979) dir: Lau Kar-Leung. English translation of original Chinese title (Calligraphy Brush Fighter and the Cat-Headed Hawk Sect). A scholar (Gordon Liu) engaged to a local official's daughter (Cheng Peipei) in Qing Dynasty China falls foul of a secret society of Manchu pugilists who dress as owls and terrorize Han villages. One of Lau's lesser films, notable mainly for its pairing of Liu and Cheng in their prime, as well as its two-fisted climax with wire-work well ahead of its time. The calligraphy brush with spring-loaded blade wielded by Liu may currently be seen in Planet Hollywood Hong Kong. Purgatory U.S.A.
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Jun 7, 2016 22:28
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Clipperton posted:Purgatory U.S.A. (Carol Justice, 1993) Excerpt from Criterion Corpuscle podcast, ep 56 Though the similarities to Linklater's seminal Slacker (1991) are striking (the same round-robin style, the same analysis of Gen-Xers and of small-town life), Justice's little-seen videodrama has enough of its own charms to qualify as a true cult odyssey. Documenting the life of the townsfolk of Blenheim, Ontario (Canada - the title is a dry in-joke among the characters) in their minute quest to put on a summer fireworks show, the thriftiness of the production shows through in various ways, including dual casting for almost every actor, a trick that first strikes as corny, but develops into a menacing surreality during the all-hands-on-deck finale. Justice was clearly a well-read filmmaker, as this, her only feature, has notable references to a wide array of other filmmakers, from Lynch to Akerman, and her own hand-held cinematography more than occasionally seems to beat Malick to the punch he would later master in Tree of Life. These outstanding qualities only make Justice's premature demise (picnic, blimp) all the more saddening. At least, however, her shabby, magical magnum opus is finally available to be seen and enjoyed via this terrific package from the Criterion Collection. Highly Recommended Darkness Before Dawn
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Jun 8, 2016 01:41
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Magic Hate Ball posted:Darkness Before Dawn A soul searching tour de force of a film that explores the ecstasy and the agony of the writing and recording of Tom Waits' 1993 album 'The Black Rider'. As Tom and his partner William S Burroughs focuses deeper and deeper on their ambitious album/play each man finds himself lost in the story as bitter memories of their pasts intertwine and threaten to shred the walls each has built around dark moments of their history. Can Tom free himself from this sordid story before the play takes on a life of it's own? Director: Terry Gilliam Tom Waits/Wilhelm- Ron Perlman William S Burroughs/The Devil- Tom Waits Kate Brennan/The Huntsman's Daughter- Charlize Theron The Bravest Little Pineapple
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Jun 8, 2016 02:18
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Macdeo Lurjtux posted:The Bravest Little Pineapple Written, directed and narrated by Werner Herzog. Kurt Marshall 2: Not Guilty
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Jun 8, 2016 22:31
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Pierogi posted:An expose on the underbelly of food industry takes the viewers on an arduous journey from shady biotech labs, through plantations sustained by child labor, unsanitary transportation and unethical distribution chain right to the table of an unwitting Finnish family on Christmas dinner. Kurt's at it again! After a string of poor decisions he ends up in a sorority party all the way in Virginia and in trouble with the law all over a big misunderstanding! Proving not all men are alike, Kurt uses his wits to battle his case in court and still make it to prom.. or will he? Rock the Ca$bah
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Jun 9, 2016 18:24
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Honest Thief posted:Kurt's at it again! After a string of poor decisions he ends up in a sorority party all the way in Virginia and in trouble with the law all over a big misunderstanding! Proving not all men are alike, Kurt uses his wits to battle his case in court and still make it to prom.. or will he? Rock the Ca$bah This new faux documentary film follows Kesha as she travels to the Egypt in her new world tour following the fall out of her record label. Critics are labeling it as the next "The Band" film, but with more cocaine and less music. The singer gives introspection as she sings for the women of Egypt in a electric outdoor concert all while trying to juggle her personal and musical life. Dir: Richard Linklater He's No Saint!
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Jun 10, 2016 00:05
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Hollismason posted:He's No Saint! Nicholas of Myra (J.K. Simmons) sits in his chair at the Council of Nicea, fuming as he listens to Egyptian bishop Arius (Donald Sutherland) argue for his belief that the divinity of the Son is less important than the divinity of the Father, a view Nicholas sees as against the holiness of Jesus Christ and the destruction of the very Godhead itself. Overtaken by righteous fury, he rises and slaps Arius to the floor in a holy place, decrying his blasphemy! Though this story is probably little more than an urban legend, director Ridley Scott cleverly reforges it into a fascinating, visually lush courtroom drama with a historical bent and a surprising twist ending, creating a trial pitting Nicholas against Arias as they argue about their beliefs and personal holiness before their fellow bishops (including John Goodman as Macarius of Jerusalem), with the chair of the Council, the Emperor Constantine (George Clooney), acting as judge. But, as the characters settle on a verdict, a miraculous turn of events leaves the audience to wonder: who is the real judge? Also starring John C. Reilly as Eusebius of Caesaria and Jake Gyllenhall as a young St. Augustine. The Moose Who Walked Through Time HypnoCabbage fucked around with this message at 04:13 on Jun 10, 2016 |
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Jun 10, 2016 04:06
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HypnoCabbage posted:The Moose Who Walked Through Time Bullwinkle J. Moose of Frostbite Falls takes a vacation to NASA's Kennedy Space Center with his best friend Rocket J. Squirrel. During an experiment at the facility, NASA engineers tear open a time portal just as Bullwinkle is parking his car. It pulls them back in time, sending them to the Middle Ages in England. Through a misunderstanding, he is mistaken for the King of Scotland and leads a rebellion. However, the opposing army is headed by the Duke of Badenov aided by Princess Fatale. (So, basically Army of Darkness as done by Jay Ward and Co.) Produced by Ponsoby Britt, O.B.E. New movie: Mall Ghost Bromance
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Jun 10, 2016 04:38
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Egbert Souse posted:Bullwinkle J. Moose of Frostbite Falls takes a vacation to NASA's Kennedy Space Center with his best friend Rocket J. Squirrel. During an experiment at the facility, NASA engineers tear open a time portal just as Bullwinkle is parking his car. It pulls them back in time, sending them to the Middle Ages in England. Through a misunderstanding, he is mistaken for the King of Scotland and leads a rebellion. However, the opposing army is headed by the Duke of Badenov aided by Princess Fatale. (So, basically Army of Darkness as done by Jay Ward and Co.) Mall Ghost Bromance Zac Efron and Adam Devine star in this hilarious new comedy from Rawson Marshall Thurber. Mike ( Zac Efron) and David (Adam Devine) are both security guards at Three Pines Mall and bitter enemies. Mike works the day shift and David works the night shift which makes their differences literally night and day! When during a shift change they interrupt a international sale of plutonium by a Middle East Terrorist organization they end up dead!! And that's just the beginning!!! Quickly realizing their predicament they'll have to overcome their differences in order to save America!!!! The stakes are just as high as the laughs!!!!! Starring Zac Efron Adam Devine and featuring Kumail Nanjiani - Terrorist Leader Shark Bait 2 : Bait Harder Hollismason fucked around with this message at 06:42 on Jun 10, 2016 |
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Jun 10, 2016 06:38
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HypnoCabbage posted:Nicholas of Myra (J.K. Simmons) sits in his chair at the Council of Nicea, fuming as he listens to Egyptian bishop Arius (Donald Sutherland) argue for his belief that the divinity of the Son is less important than the divinity of the Father, a view Nicholas sees as against the holiness of Jesus Christ and the destruction of the very Godhead itself. Overtaken by righteous fury, he rises and slaps Arius to the floor in a holy place, decrying his blasphemy! Unironically want a film about this incident. Hollismason posted:Shark Bait 2 : Bait Harder "Christ, where to start. Shark Bait 2: Bait Harder is an unnecessary sequel to the abominable 2006 animated feature voiced by Freddie Prinze Jr and Evan Rachel Wood. The sequel was inexplicably picked up by industry screw-up Troy Duffy. It takes place 10 years after the original film. Pi (still voiced by Prinze) is now a freelance hitman killing sharks in revenge for the brutal rape and murder of his love interest Cordelia. This is portrayed in a stylish, neon-and-slow-mo flashback that glamorizes the act and makes it unforgivably 'cool' and 'erotic'. Pi meets a Manta Ray named Machaca (Danny Trejo) with a similarly trope-riddled backstory and the film devolves into a series of increasingly outlandish set pieces in which sharks are trapped, killed, gutted, or flayed. The banter between Pi and Machaca is the height of high school wanna-be-bad-assery and the violence is gory but weightless. The entire thing is an offensive spectacle that somehow - SOMEHOW - manages to squander any morsel of charm that Boondock Saints had. It's misogynistic, xenophobic, nihilistic, and would get thrown out of a Hot Topic for it's poseur approach to edginess. I cannot stress this enough: do not see this film, Simon. Or anyone. It has an audience of one, and that's the director." - Mark Kermode Film: Maximum Ogredrive That Dang Dad fucked around with this message at 17:46 on Jun 10, 2016 |
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Jun 10, 2016 13:57
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Anal Surgery posted:Film: Maximum Ogredrive Set in an alternatrle reality where humans and ogres coexist relatively peacefully, a young ogre named Frem (Miles Teller) embarks on a cross country trek with his estranged truck driving father (Jon Bernthal) . A story of love lost and lost time. "A truly poignant, life-affirming joyride." - Katherine Rodgers -- Bureau of Squirrels "Immersive and radiant" Peter Travers -- Rolling Stone Next movie: Cryptorchid
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Jul 2, 2016 23:00
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ButtWolf posted:Next movie: In 1951, young botanist James Robard discovers a rare breed of flower deep in the jungles of Argentina whose petals have a very intricate and beautiful pattern, but when he brings the flower back home to reproduce and research the specimen, he finds that every single flower has the exact same pattern, leading him to believe that the pattern is a message that needs to be solved. He spends the next 50 years of his life attempting to decipher the message of the flowers, isolating himself from everyone in his life. Shane Carruth's next labor of love, Cryptorchid will premiere at the Venice Film Festival in 2018. Carruth will direct, write, star, score, and edit the film, which also features Melanie Lynsky, Alan Arkin, and Amy Seimetz. New Movie Title: The Man from Nantucket
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Jul 3, 2016 02:39
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Yoshifan823 posted:New Movie Title: The Man from Nantucket Martin Mann (Jeff Daniels) is a local beach rat and lifeguard on Nantucket who spends most of his time just trying to sober up from last night so he can get to work, pick up his check and get drunk with his friends at his buddy Buddy's (Jack Black) bar and get back with his ex, Maria (Winona Ryder). But when a night-time swim has them witness a mob murder, Mann and friends will have to escape from hitmen using the only tricks they've got - a plastic bucket and a no-shame attitude. Coming this Summer! Rated R for language, pervasive crude humor, and brief violence Next: The End of All Things
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Jul 3, 2016 03:12
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Dr. Angela Ziegler posted:The Farrelly Brothers are at it again! A doomsday virus has started eliminating the human population. Two formerly estranged brothers played by Sean Williams Scott and Sean Patrick Flannery decide to use their last moments on earth climbing Mount Everest. Flannery plays Ethan, back in the day he was the jaded Gen X rebel who settled down and found his place in "the real world". His wife and daughter were among the early victims of the virus. Scott plays "Mark" a mildly successful musician from post-grunge era Seattle who looked up to his brother, until he sold out. The differences in their lives led to a mutual falling apart. The film begins at the funeral of their parents, the two rekindle their relationship listening to old CDs found in the attic, and decide to take the trip together, committing their last act on earth to bucking the conventional attitudes of a dying world. The two brothers travel across a dying Asia, and make their trek up the worlds tallest mountain, and celebrate brotherhood on the brink of oblivion. Little do they know, an amateur film makerKatherine Petty (Kirsten dundst) has joined the two and begins broadcasting their journey across the globe, while the brothers prepare to say goodbye to the world, their story is one of hope to the rest of the world. Next up: Wallace Winkle Go Home! Roydrowsy fucked around with this message at 06:32 on Jul 3, 2016 |
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Jul 3, 2016 06:18
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Roydrowsy posted:Next up: Wallace Winkle Go Home! Wallace Winkle Go Home!, 1990. The only known release by the Felth! off-shoot of Roger Corman's New World Pictures, this exercise in puppet debauchery was evidently slapped together by a group of Americans 'inspired' by Meet the Feebles, grafting in elements of Fritz the Cat to fill the holes. The basic plot concerns Wallace Winkle, a shell-cloaked grey hand-puppet, who is despised by everyone he encounters (for reasons which are left vague at best), and his efforts to get through low-cash life in an unnamed inner-city setting. One likely reason for the antipathy of the other characters is that Wallace's shell, which features prominent cracks from the start, develops several open holes after the mid-point back-alley fight scene spurred on by the lead character's flubbed attempt to solicit oral sex from a dumpster, a scene which pays off in Wallace's puppeteer slowly humping his hand against the dumpster for nearly three full minutes before its inhabitant emerges. These holes lead to Wallace's already-slowed mental facilities deteriorating further, a change oddly portrayed by the puppet's voice provider (an uncredited Joe Pantoliano) through an imitation of Arnold Schwarzenegger's accent. However, this doesn't explain the many times in which other characters begin beating up/spitting on/attempting to rape the Winkle before he even has a chance to speak. The poor lighting, obviously-reused (and only slightly redressed) puppets from scene to scene, a couple of lengthy vomit jokes (which provide what are likely the best special effects in the entire movie), and a stunning tonal break in the inclusion of a scene in which Wallace visits his mother's grave to weep before dying (immediately swept away by the punk-styled title song which covers the end credits) make for a sloppy and occasionally nauseating pile of scenes with only a tenuous narrative holding them together, which may explain why this has yet to even receive a rush-job DVD release from Full Moon or Troma. Best avoided, unless you can get as stoned and gleefully antipathetic as the film-makers evidently were. Next up: Cradle 2: The Grave Darthemed fucked around with this message at 21:07 on Jul 3, 2016 |
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Jul 3, 2016 20:59
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Darthemed posted:Next up: Cradle 2: The Grave Cradle 2: The Grave The criminals who tried to rob a bank and hide the money in a cradle last summer in Cradle are back, and they've upgraded to murder. When they decide to hide the body in their living room cradle, things get a little out of hand in their home lives. next: An Unfortunate Serve in King Arthur's Court
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Jul 4, 2016 01:51
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Weekend Bridges posted:Cradle 2: The Grave Two half-witted tennis pros (Sean William Scott and Ashton Kutcher) are sent back in time to the ages of King Arthur to teach the hapless serfs to defend themselves from Mordred's invading tennis army, discover the meaning of friendship, and find true love. Next: Top Gun 2: The Musical
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Jul 4, 2016 14:07
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Ask Me For Warez posted:Two half-witted tennis pros (Sean William Scott and Ashton Kutcher) are sent back in time to the ages of King Arthur to teach the hapless serfs to defend themselves from Mordred's invading tennis army, discover the meaning of friendship, and find true love. Hailed as the Mama Mia for Men, Top Gun 2 uses the music of Steppenwolf to tell this extraordinary story. Maverick is a Top Gun instructor, chosen to take on the new batch of recruits, including Goose's son Jack, played by Ryan Gosling. The two have a rocky relationship, Jack feels like Maverixk might have been responsible for his father's death, and Maverick is afraid he will make decisions that harm Jack. Meanwhile, a terrorist organization known as "The Black Pit" have invaded a former Russian airfield and captured their fighter jets. Jack with the guidance of Maverick must take on he bad guys while signing "magic carpet ride" and all of those classic Steppenwolf Favorites, because, after all, aren't all fighter pilots "born to be wild?" Next up: Ice Cream Soup Roydrowsy fucked around with this message at 14:30 on Jul 4, 2016 |
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Jul 4, 2016 14:28
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Having Goose's son played by a Gosling is basically the most inspired casting of all time
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Jul 4, 2016 16:06
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