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BigBasementFanHere
Jun 12, 2016

by Shine


GameCube posted:

I don't know a god drat thing about sports except what NHL 94 taught me. What's the big deal about Phil Kessel.

Toronto brought him in as the next big thing, and when the team was a giant fail because the organization is poo poo, they scapegoated him for causing it, and gave him to Pittsburgh for literal pocket change.

Toronto literally paid the Penguins to have a center who was their points leader in the playoffs.

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2DCAT
Jun 24, 2015

pissssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssss sssssssssssssssssss sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssssss sssssssssssssss



Gravy Boat 2k

AAB posted:

this is what matters


I couldn't be happier for Kessel. Good job!!

bump_fn
Apr 12, 2004



GameCube posted:

I don't know a god drat thing about sports except what NHL 94 taught me. What's the big deal about Phil Kessel.

he ate too many hot dogs in canada or something

Spring Break My Heart
Feb 15, 2012


GameCube posted:

I don't know a god drat thing about sports except what NHL 94 taught me. What's the big deal about Phil Kessel.
Highly touted prospect coming into the league, never quite hit the initial hype but was still a great player. Because of his body shape, play style, personality, losing a testicle and funny voice he gets a lot of flack as well; seen as a finesse player, fat guy, weirdo, etc. Got traded from Boston to Toronto for a gigantic return. Toronto is run by idiots, and their media is run by super idiots, so Kessel gets a lot of blame for playing great on a terrible team. He gets traded for peanuts, has kind of a disappointing season, but lights it up late in the season and in the playoffs. A really fun, good player who gets a lot of poo poo for dumb reasons, and one who was specifically talked about as not having the mental fortitude or whatever to do well in the playoffs (which he always has in his limited appearances) or be a big part of a Cup winner.

GameCube
Nov 21, 2006



I found The Hot Dog Article. This is why you don't Fat-Shame.

Hand Knit
Oct 24, 2005

Beer Loses more than a game Sunday ...
We lost our Captain, our Teammate, our Friend Kelly Calabro...
Rest in Peace my friend you will be greatly missed..

I hope Phil Kessel has his own personal Stanley Cup parade around Toront, riding in a hot dog cart.

ThinkTank
Oct 23, 2007



Hand Knit posted:

I hope Phil Kessel has his own personal Stanley Cup parade around Toront, riding in a hot dog cart.

I'd take a day off work to follow it around.

zakharov
Nov 30, 2002

:kimchi: Tater Love :kimchi:


hello very obvious citizen tayne parachute account

I don't know anything about hockey but uh go rangers

bump_fn
Apr 12, 2004



BigBasementFanHere posted:

You are retarded

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Ginette Reno
Nov 18, 2006

The more you temper a stick, the stronger it becomes

Fun Shoe

Toxicsunset was a false prophet in 08 but Citizen Tayne proved to be correct.

I like you both though.

FAT32 SHAMER
Aug 16, 2012
Tell your mum I said hi lol

Can we talk about why CitizenTayne was probed for being right?

OldAlias
Nov 2, 2013

🧿

Tusen Takk posted:

Can we talk about why CitizenTayne was probed for being right?

mods knew

Flyinglemur
Jul 2, 2004

Oh Lucy, I do apologize, I've been so terribly busy. Honestly, I barely have the time to drink deep and descend.





I like the news that Citizen Tayne has reported here. It is accurate and good.

bump_fn
Apr 12, 2004



Tusen Takk posted:

Can we talk about why CitizenTayne was probed for being right?

citizen tayne is his slave name. his real name is tori cmos

MRLOLAST
May 9, 2013


Crosby with the Conn Smythe Wtf. Kessel was the top scorer. Stupid NHL trying to create narratives.

Ergo Propter Hog
Jul 20, 2014





MRLOLAST posted:

Crosby with the Conn Smythe Wtf. Kessel was the top scorer. Stupid NHL trying to create narratives.

I guess the Pens just gotta win it again next year so Phil can get his

Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X


Yeah how dare they give the Conn Smythe to the best player.

GameCube
Nov 21, 2006



Who is this fat old man in a Hawaiian shirt on my television.

AsInHowe
Jan 11, 2007


Hand Knit posted:

I hope Phil Kessel has his own personal Stanley Cup parade around Toront, riding in a hot dog cart.

Who will drive his All Star Game Honda?

Spring Break My Heart
Feb 15, 2012


MRLOLAST posted:

Crosby with the Conn Smythe Wtf. Kessel was the top scorer. Stupid NHL trying to create narratives.
It's good to not just look at the scoring list and vote based on that. And giving it to any player creates narratives, including stuff we've talked about frequently regarding Kessel.

cenotaph
Mar 2, 2013





Kessel didn't win the Conn Smythe but he is the Conn Smythe of my heart.

Also my pregame hot dogs obviously beat out RC Cola's Pavelski jersey for luck charms.

indigi
Jul 20, 2004

you better let me go
the day you need me


OldAlias posted:

mods knew

lowtax needs to form a truth and reconciliation committee

Shawn Cotureier
Jan 21, 2009

Still better than Umberger


Godinster posted:

God isn't real or he's dead

Captain Foo
May 11, 2004

we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'


Phil Kessel winning a Cup in San Jose for Pittsburgh while being paid by Toronto is pretty funny.

Levitate
Sep 30, 2005

randy newman voice

YOU'VE GOT A LAFRENIRE IN ME


The NHL hits a new low

Flyinglemur
Jul 2, 2004

Oh Lucy, I do apologize, I've been so terribly busy. Honestly, I barely have the time to drink deep and descend.





Levitate posted:

The NHL hits a new low

Just when I thought I couldn't be happier today, you show up and post

:glomp:

TITTIEKISSER69
Mar 19, 2005

I'M JUST HERE TO KISS TITTIESS AND WIN FOOTBALL GAMES!
(AND GET EVERYBODY FIRED)



GameCube posted:

Who is this fat old man in a Hawaiian shirt on my television.

Andy Reid?

toxicsunset
Sep 19, 2005


wait when did all this happen i thought game 6 was tonight

sportsgenius86
Jun 17, 2008

THE STREAK IS OVER



How much does a billboard in Toronto cost?

Levitate
Sep 30, 2005

randy newman voice

YOU'VE GOT A LAFRENIRE IN ME


Flyinglemur posted:

Just when I thought I couldn't be happier today, you show up and post

:glomp:

The Pittsburgh Penguins won the cup playing John Tortorella style hockey

cenotaph
Mar 2, 2013





Levitate posted:

The Pittsburgh Penguins won the cup playing John Tortorella style hockey

Actually the Penguins were good.

Flyinglemur
Jul 2, 2004

Oh Lucy, I do apologize, I've been so terribly busy. Honestly, I barely have the time to drink deep and descend.





Levitate posted:

The Pittsburgh Penguins won the cup playing John Tortorella style hockey

Keep going, I'm almost there...

Levitate
Sep 30, 2005

randy newman voice

YOU'VE GOT A LAFRENIRE IN ME


cenotaph posted:

Actually the Penguins were good.

Flyinglemur posted:

Keep going, I'm almost there...

I'm actually like...80% serious but also just being salty for effect.

Sullivan was Torts' assistant coach pal for a long time and the influence on the defensive play of the Penguins is extremely evident. The collapse down low around the goalie to block a ton of shots is what Torts is known for and is the same style the Penguins played under Sullivan as well. The major differences being Pittsburgh has really talented players who could attack offensively effectively and Sullivan gave his defensemen more freedom to move the puck than Torts did.

I say all this because I'm finding blocked shots more and more aggravating and of course when the Rangers did it, it was all fine but now it sucks (but seriously it's really really crappy hockey to watch unless it's your team doing it and you don't care that the other team can't get anything on net).

But Pittsburgh had basically everything go right for them this year after firing their coach and got everyone on the same page and the GM made some good moves, so nice work

grack
Jan 10, 2012

COACH TOTORO SAY REFEREE CAN BANISH WHISTLE TO LAND OF WIND AND GHOSTS!


Levitate posted:

I'm actually like...80% serious but also just being salty for effect.

Sullivan was Torts' assistant coach pal for a long time and the influence on the defensive play of the Penguins is extremely evident. The collapse down low around the goalie to block a ton of shots is what Torts is known for and is the same style the Penguins played under Sullivan as well. The major differences being Pittsburgh has really talented players who could attack offensively effectively and Sullivan gave his defensemen more freedom to move the puck than Torts did.

I say all this because I'm finding blocked shots more and more aggravating and of course when the Rangers did it, it was all fine but now it sucks (but seriously it's really really crappy hockey to watch unless it's your team doing it and you don't care that the other team can't get anything on net).

But Pittsburgh had basically everything go right for them this year after firing their coach and got everyone on the same page and the GM made some good moves, so nice work

Jacques Martin ran Pittsburgh's defense. Also, Sullivan rolled four lines consistently, which is the complete opposite of Tortorella.

GameCube
Nov 21, 2006




It was Mark Madden. I guess he's John Madden's brother or something.

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005


Parade this Wednesday, I'll bring back pictures.

Pornographic Memory
Dec 17, 2008


gently caress yeah the penguins!!!

Pornographic Memory
Dec 17, 2008


GameCube posted:

I don't know a god drat thing about sports except what NHL 94 taught me. What's the big deal about Phil Kessel.

phil kessel is a hockey player who looks like a goon, and sports journalists act like this must mean he's a fat lazy loser, except he's actually good as hell at hockey

Ginette Reno
Nov 18, 2006

The more you temper a stick, the stronger it becomes

Fun Shoe

It's Monday June 13th and fyi the Pittsburgh Penguins have won the Stanley Cup.

I'm bustin' Jerry. I'm bustin!

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Ginette Reno
Nov 18, 2006

The more you temper a stick, the stronger it becomes

Fun Shoe



Hey Sully check it out - triple fistin'. Where is Schultzy? I'm gonna drink one for each shift he had in game 6.

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