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Ryoshi posted:I got a car insurance scam like once every three days for a while back in 2009 until I laid on a thick southern drawl and asked the nice man how much it would cost to insure my vee-hickle, an '86 NASA Challenger.  Definitely stealing this.
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Jun 15, 2016 04:50
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polio king posted:far too many goons thinking they deal with telemarketers or scammers in a clever or original way. Tell me, what's it like being dead inside?
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Jun 15, 2016 04:53
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drat, now I feel like I'm missing out! All I get are the stupid "This is (generic name) with cardholder services, something something interest rates" robocalls.
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Jun 15, 2016 05:37
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Putty posted:robots have no feelings they cannot be hosed with well excuse me
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Jun 15, 2016 05:52
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I only get robocallers. If it was a real person I might give them a runaround but not actually say anything "mean" because come on they're just trying to get through their daily grind doing a lovely job everyone hates them for. And yelling at them isn't even as fun as the other alternatives. What I DO get about once a week, on my cellphone is a call where when I pick up, i hear distant speaking in a non-English language I can't place and nobody on the line and then I hang up. Am I cursed.
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Jun 15, 2016 17:22
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When I get a real person I quickly and sincerely apologize for hanging up on them and wish them a nice day 
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Jun 15, 2016 17:25
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*answers a phone call in 2016* I wonder what time ncis is on
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Jun 15, 2016 17:30
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'oh god you called my burner phone and it's burning up as we speak gotta hang up bye!!!!'
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Jun 15, 2016 18:17
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A while back, I was bombarded with calls from a call centre running the microsoft scam. For a while, I simply ignored them. Eventually, I decided to retalliate. "I'm sorry, but the computer belongs to my brother. Hold on while I get him". I then plugged my headphones into my computer, made a telephone receiver sandwich with the two earpieces (helpfully folding the headset microphone into the middle for maximum feedback), found the loudest death-metal track possible on youtube, turned the volume to ten, then hit 'play'. Somewhere in India, somebody is quite possibly suffering from permanent hearing loss. They never called again.
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Jun 15, 2016 19:06
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^ didn't happen
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Jun 15, 2016 19:12
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paul_soccer10 posted:^ didn't happen Did too.
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Jun 15, 2016 19:15
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FIRST TIME posted:I used to get debt collector calls for someone who must have had my phone number a long time ago. I've done the Loonix thing too. I ask them for help running the Lynx browser. They usually give up. Edit: next time I should ask them if they support Gopher protocol.
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Jun 15, 2016 21:52
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I do now that I have a land line in my office that gets called by Indians non stop. I guess it's less messing with them than it is horrible sexually violent comments about their families. It works though.
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Jun 15, 2016 22:03
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I like using sound boards. I one time used Jack Nicholson and had them going on his speech from A Few Good Men.
Crowsbeak fucked around with this message at 02:32 on Jun 16, 2016 |
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Jun 16, 2016 02:30
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Soylent Yellow posted:A while back, I was bombarded with calls from a call centre running the microsoft scam. For a while, I simply ignored them. Eventually, I decided to retalliate. "I'm sorry, but the computer belongs to my brother. Hold on while I get him". I then plugged my headphones into my computer, made a telephone receiver sandwich with the two earpieces (helpfully folding the headset microphone into the middle for maximum feedback), found the loudest death-metal track possible on youtube, turned the volume to ten, then hit 'play'. Somewhere in India, somebody is quite possibly suffering from permanent hearing loss. They never called again. I can never tell if these are serious or if people really think phones work this way
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Jun 16, 2016 15:21
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I used to get jack wagon brokers trying to get me to invest in their latest poo poo stock or other scam. If you were a decent trader, you wouldn't be cold calling me, right? After a while, I'd pretend to be the Chinese place down the street and ask them what number they wanted. This pissed them off when I'd switch halfway through their intro and refuse to break character. One guy sounded like he wanted to cry.
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Jun 16, 2016 16:30
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Skeleton Ape posted:I can never tell if these are serious or if people really think phones work this way Phones can be pretty loud. My aunt is a very loud talker and if I hold the receiver to my ear when she talks it's actually painful.
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Jun 16, 2016 16:35
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Aren't you just owning yourself if you choose to engage with cold callers in any capacity?
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Jun 16, 2016 17:22
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Ryoshi posted:I got a car insurance scam like once every three days for a while back in 2009 until I laid on a thick southern drawl and asked the nice man how much it would cost to insure my vee-hickle, an '86 NASA Challenger. The dude actually swore at me when he realized I was loving with him, but I actually never got called by them again. yeah a 'thick southern drawl' just admit you did your best amos n andy impression we won't judge you
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Jun 16, 2016 17:24
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I used to get a lot of calls from phone service providers, I started telling them I didn't have a phone in the house, and then if they started with the "but we're talking on the phone right now" bullshit, i'd be all "ARE YOU CALLING ME A LIAR??!"
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Jun 16, 2016 17:32
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monkey posted:I used to get a lot of calls from phone service providers, I started telling them I didn't have a phone in the house, and then if they started with the "but we're talking on the phone right now" bullshit, i'd be all "ARE YOU CALLING ME A LIAR??!" I did the same, but once got a guy who said "Alright, I'll bite. How are we communicating right now?" "Direct mind-to-mind communication. Didn't you take the orientation class on the home planet"? He laughed and hung up. I'm waiting for the next Windus hindu call, my planned line is "I'm very sorry, I don't speak english. You should call back when I'm not at home."
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Jun 16, 2016 18:02
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extra stout posted:yeah a 'thick southern drawl' will you judge me if I have no idea who that is?
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Jun 16, 2016 18:14
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Ryoshi posted:will you judge me if I have no idea who that is? i will
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Jun 16, 2016 18:14
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struct me in carrying out my shitposting will be treated as an accessory to her crimes. As for you, Ryoshi... judgement time.
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Jun 16, 2016 23:41
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Network Pesci posted:When I don't have an airhorn I like to just let loose with a stream-of-consciousness rant of the most ignorant, vile, stupid, too-dumbass-for-Facebook poo poo that I ever read in the comments section on Foxnews.com. Just a stream of pustulent infected diarrhea spewing out of my mouth and into the phone, kinda like posting on GBS but with a country twang because if they think you're genuinely that ignorant and not just loving with them they'll stay on the line longer. I go for halfway between Boomhauer and Rodney Carrington, basically playing the role of that racist uncle who won't let himself understand why he never gets invited to Thanksgiving dinner any more. This is actually funny as gently caress to read. You typed out the accent very nicely  I don't get scam calls because I don't provide my phone number to anything ever. If something insists on a phone number, I enter one digit off of my actual number. That way if I ever use that service again / they are legit and actually need to have my number for valid reasons, I can "fix the mistake" later.
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Jun 17, 2016 00:03
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Fun tip: In a lot of these call centres in India the phones don't have a "hang-up" button (to prevent agents from "giving up") so you can just answer the call and say "Oh hang on, I'll just go and turn the computer on, be right back!" and leave the phone for 40+ minutes at a time. I like to come back every 40 minutes or so and say "sorry it's running really slow hold on" then leave again. Obviously this works best if you aren't charged for incoming calls (like here in the uk - not sure if it's the same for landlines in the US) =D
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Jun 17, 2016 00:59
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Jim Florentine, who played a few characters on Crank Yankers has a bunch of recordings of him loving with telemarketers. They're pretty drat good. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WuoGgCq3EWs
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Jun 17, 2016 01:52
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all this and no talk of longmont potion castle, what a shame https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nj4JTSKH1DA
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Jun 17, 2016 02:06
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Jack Stratiff is my all time favorite https://m.youtube.com/user/JackStratiff
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Jun 17, 2016 02:22
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I got a call from my 'bank' just a few weeks ago, offering... antivirus and anti-keylogger services. Do they think that will fool anyone? 
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Jun 17, 2016 02:28
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