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Mass shootings are more common than ever. in fact I have even lost count how many we have had this year. With this in mind I propose we field our safety tips and ideas on surviving the mass shooting that is likely to occur at your place of work, school, mall, movie theater, etc. Your odds of being mass slaughtered are higher than ever, so let's prepare ourselves with knowledge. Hot tips for surviving a mass shooting: - If the assailant is an Incel White Male, offer him friendship or sex with your sister in exchange for your life. - Learn a few Arabic phrases in case the shooter is brown. They may not want to kill their own kind. - Wear a helmet to work to prevent fragmentation grenade shrapnel from penetrating your skull. - Keep several laser pointers on hand to trick them into thinking they are about to be sniped. - Start shooting before they can. People will immediately know you're not the bad guy and are only trying to help. - Strategically stand closer to fat people in case danger breaks, they are significantly larger targets and may shield you. What are some of your Mass Shooting Life Hacks?
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Jun 14, 2016 18:15
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| # ? Apr 24, 2024 14:38 |
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Dont live in america Note: this is good advice generally
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Jun 14, 2016 18:16
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Never go anywhere that's crowded enough to make it worthwhile for a mass shooter to attack.
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Jun 14, 2016 18:16
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Carry lots and lots of guns. Lol if you're not gearing up like Commando every time you leave the house.
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Jun 14, 2016 18:16
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Actually only go to places that are heavily crowded. If someone does bring a gun to shoot up the place, you have greater odds of not being one of the people that get shot!
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Jun 14, 2016 18:18
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gain enough weight that bullets are unable to penetrate your goon-lard and damage your vital oragns
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Jun 14, 2016 18:20
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repeal the second amendment
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Jun 14, 2016 18:22
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Nigmaetcetera posted:Never go anywhere that's crowded enough to make it worthwhile for a mass shooter to attack. Actually, just never go anywhere.
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Jun 14, 2016 18:22
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stage a decoy bomb attack far from your true target to delay police response time
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Jun 14, 2016 18:25
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Oberleutnant posted:Dont live in america
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Jun 14, 2016 18:25
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have an escape route planned beforehand and get out before more police respond disguise yourself as a hostage improvised body armour regularly maintain and practice with your murder weapon recruit an accomplice
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Jun 14, 2016 18:25
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accept allah also, gas
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Jun 14, 2016 18:25
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Deflect bullets with your shovel
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Jun 14, 2016 18:27
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Always sit facing the door. Keep a bandolier handy with your concealed weapon, as you might need to reload. Especially if the cops mistake you for the gunman and you have to shoot up the place to escape
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Jun 14, 2016 18:27
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have a getaway driver and clear exit plan after youre done
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Jun 14, 2016 18:29
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FlimFlam Imam posted:Carry lots and lots of guns. Lol if you're not gearing up like Commando every time you leave the house. I always go commando.
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Jun 14, 2016 18:29
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Hey, have you guys heard about the guy that stopped a bicycle theft at Walmart over the weekend by getting his horse out of its trailer and cutting the thief off at the pass, lassoing him, and holding him for the cops? Real heroes have horses and lassos, not guns. What if one or all the gays at the Pulse had a horse? Would we be facing the same tragedy we are mourning today? Kirk Vikernes fucked around with this message at 18:34 on Jun 14, 2016 |
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Jun 14, 2016 18:32
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VcSwejU2D0
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Jun 14, 2016 18:34
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fat people pull a lot of aggro just a thought.
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Jun 14, 2016 18:34
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Start yelling "allahu ackbar", this is a secret codephrase used by mass shooters to ensure they do not shoot one of their own while engaging in a mass shooting
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Jun 14, 2016 18:37
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Assume a defensive position to ward off incoming gunfire 
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Jun 14, 2016 18:37
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shoot first
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Jun 14, 2016 18:37
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be the shooter; what are the odds of two of you picking the same place/time beaten my seconds
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Jun 14, 2016 18:38
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Step1: Don't obsess about statistically insignificant things like some pearl-clutching politicians wife. Step2: Live a normal life full of friends and happiness 
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Jun 14, 2016 18:40
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show them that love and understanding is the way forward disarm them with kindness offer them your body in exchange for your life (if you are hideous this might only make things worse)
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Jun 14, 2016 18:41
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never leave your parent's basement
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Jun 14, 2016 18:42
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Powercrazy posted:Step1: Don't obsess about statistically insignificant things like some pearl-clutching politicians wife.
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Jun 14, 2016 18:43
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sit on Windows98 and pee your pants
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Jun 14, 2016 18:45
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Carl Seitan posted:I always go commando. 
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Jun 14, 2016 18:47
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Just remember the car ride to the mass shooting is the most dangerous part.
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Jun 14, 2016 18:49
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XMNN posted:have an escape route planned beforehand and get out before more police respond Was going to post this thanks
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Jun 14, 2016 18:49
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rush at the shooter. everyone else will also do this and you will overpower him
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Jun 14, 2016 18:56
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All it takes is one responsible gun owner armed and ready to take down the mus.... the bad guy. If there was just one brave, noble american hero with a gun at every public venue henceforth, all tragedy would be averted.
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Jun 14, 2016 18:57
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wear a "good guy" shirt so when you start shooting back people know you are not the bad guy
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Jun 14, 2016 19:03
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guns make us safer
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Jun 14, 2016 19:06
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One strange trick for surviving mass shootings: http://m.imgur.com/EYR69oN?r Slightly
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Jun 14, 2016 19:06
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Break the bullets with your samurai sword
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Jun 14, 2016 19:08
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kill the shooter with your car because cars are more deadly than guns
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Jun 14, 2016 19:10
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4TuEWtXBT_0
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Jun 14, 2016 19:12
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| # ? Apr 24, 2024 14:38 |
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convert to sunni muslim
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Jun 14, 2016 19:13
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