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The Bloop
Jul 5, 2004

Booyah




Ultra Carp

Asexual gamers descend upon you to praise this game for supporting their cause with representation and won't shut up about it


Maybe sexuality toggles? Sliders? Konami codes?

Extremely unsexy starts to new pages?

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Bust Rodd
Oct 21, 2008

TURDS BOD



Link and Fish Princess were so legendarily in love that people are still talking about it 100 years later, itís ok if you want to ignore that but itís literally text in the game.

Sea Lily
Aug 5, 2007

Everything changes, Pit.
Even gods.



Bust Rodd posted:

Link and Fish Princess were so legendarily in love that people are still talking about it 100 years later, it’s ok if you want to ignore that but it’s literally text in the game.

Do you think her ghost is cool with Link dating her little brother though

Cartoon Man
Jan 31, 2004

Nyah hah hah hah hah!

Link was on his way towards getting the harem ending till Calamity Ganon hosed it all up.

Bust Rodd
Oct 21, 2008

TURDS BOD



Sea Lily posted:

Do you think her ghost is cool with Link dating her little brother though

Without looking it up Iím quite sure someone has written this fan fiction already

Zore
Sep 21, 2010




Bust Rodd posted:

Link and Fish Princess were so legendarily in love that people are still talking about it 100 years later, itís ok if you want to ignore that but itís literally text in the game.

Well she was in love with him.

What we see from him is him awkwardly friendzoning the hell out of her while she's proposing marriage.

Happy Noodle Boy
Jul 3, 2002

Don't fuckle with Shuckle(s)

Like that other Shuckle, but far different.


ďLink fucksĒ is canon in most games.

Sea Lily
Aug 5, 2007

Everything changes, Pit.
Even gods.



The true endgame for this franchise is the Triforce polycule. ganon just needs to chill out and date link and zelda. they can run hyrule together it's fine. stop killing people for five drat minutes ganon, and just like, talk about your feelings a little

The Bloop
Jul 5, 2004

Booyah




Ultra Carp

It's time to make the divine beast with three backs

Happy Noodle Boy
Jul 3, 2002

Don't fuckle with Shuckle(s)

Like that other Shuckle, but far different.


RickRogers
Jun 21, 2020





Fuzz posted:

Hope about we have a game without sexuality in it and keep it that way? I mean, there's plenty of other games if you need your fix.

Spoilsport

Sarcastro
Dec 28, 2000
Elite member of the Grammar Nazi Squad that

Ogmius815 posted:

TFW you kill a Lynel for its hooves so you can upgrade your berserker set but the Lynel you kill doesnít drop any hooves :/.

Seriously bullshit. Every Lynel should drop exactly 4 hooves in addition to whatever else.

Amppelix
Aug 6, 2010



Fuzz posted:

Hope about we have a game without sexuality in it and keep it that way? I mean, there's plenty of other games if you need your fix.
no

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007




College Slice

BotW2 Link must comically manage simultaneous timed dating quests with all major supporting characters, while keeping each one unaware of the others

The Golux
Feb 18, 2017

Internet Cephalopod




Sarcastro posted:

Seriously bullshit. Every Lynel should drop exactly 4 hooves in addition to whatever else.

I assume the ones you can't pick up are ones that you, like, stabbed so much that they don't work anymore.

Bust Rodd
Oct 21, 2008

TURDS BOD



The Golux posted:

I assume the ones you can't pick up are ones that you, like, stabbed so much that they don't work anymore.

ďOh gross itís got poop on it!Ē

PCjr sidecar
Jan 26, 2011

dude, you gotta end it on the rhyme



That Zelda isnít a Dark Souls dating sim is the thing thatís been holding it back from mainstream success.

Son of Sam-I-Am
Feb 12, 2002






SweetMercifulCrap! posted:

Link might be gay, I mean he did flinch in disgust/terror at the giant sex fairies kissing and groping him

Ah, the "gay if you don't want to be raped" take, thanks for that.

dbzfandiego
Sep 17, 2011


This series has been Link+Zelda OTP since its inception and I don't really see that changing much in the future

RickRogers
Jun 21, 2020





Is it worse because I, the player, keep sending him back to be physically assaulted? And I laugh?

Zore
Sep 21, 2010




One of the details I love in BotW is in Kass' subplot you learn a lot about how he was trained as a bard by a Sheikah who knew Link and Zelda at court back before the calamity. And what you learn is that that dude was in love with Zelda and so incredibly salty over the fact she was clearly in love with Link that he taught Kass a bunch of songs pining over it, calling Link an idiot meathead, and died alone.

Bongo Bill
Jan 17, 2012

From my point of view, the Jedi are evil. But what really is... evil?

In Skyward Sword, Link's motivation for most of the game is that Zelda disappeared when he was just about to get laid.

RickRogers
Jun 21, 2020





Yes yes, but surely one link can be gay/bi. We've had furry link already.

Super No Vacancy
Jul 26, 2012

yahallo


Bleck
Jan 7, 2014




Fuzz posted:

Hope about we have a game without sexuality in it and keep it that way? I mean, there's plenty of other games if you need your fix.

listen I'm trying my best to not be attracted to the big handsome fish man but I'm only human

Argue
Sep 29, 2005

I represent the Philippines

Captain Hygiene posted:

BotW2 Link must comically manage simultaneous timed dating quests with all major supporting characters, while keeping each one unaware of the others

There's a quest where you go on two dates at once, each at opposite ends of Hyrule, and you can't use Sheikah fast travel so you have to use multiple stasis launches over the course of the evening

Sea Lily
Aug 5, 2007

Everything changes, Pit.
Even gods.



Captain Hygiene posted:

BotW2 Link must comically manage simultaneous timed dating quests with all major supporting characters, while keeping each one unaware of the others

Finally, it's time to bring back the Four Sword

Bust Rodd
Oct 21, 2008

TURDS BOD



Argue posted:

There's a quest where you go on two dates at once, each at opposite ends of Hyrule, and you can't use Sheikah fast travel so you have to use multiple stasis launches over the course of the evening

And you have to keep switching back and forth between the right outfits!!!!!

Loucks
May 21, 2007

It's incwedibwe easy to suck my own dick.


But there still wonít be any sort of outfit selector or quick access option like for weapons or arrows or runes.

thrilla in vanilla
Oct 9, 2012





I restarted BOTW and decided Iím going to try a challenge run in spite of my total incompetence at the combat and the game in general. Iím going to go with stamina upgrades only, no heart containers barring mandatory ones. Do you have to collect the ones from the divine beast dungeons in order to complete them or can you just leave them there?

RickRogers
Jun 21, 2020





thrilla in vanilla posted:

I restarted BOTW and decided I’m going to try a challenge run in spite of my total incompetence at the combat and the game in general. I’m going to go with stamina upgrades only, no heart containers barring mandatory ones. Do you have to collect the ones from the divine beast dungeons in order to complete them or can you just leave them there?

Nah, you can leave it floating there.

It is possible to max out hearts before a DB run, by using the horned statue, and then it will just be unobtainable. When you leave the DB however it will appear outside in case you rebalance your health/stamina later on and want to pick it up.

Good luck with the run!

sigher
Apr 22, 2008

Down the Rabbit Hole.


SweetMercifulCrap! posted:

Link might be gay, I mean he did flinch in disgust/terror at the giant sex fairies kissing and groping him

I think that's a pretty natural reaction to getting raped/molested.

Bust Rodd
Oct 21, 2008

TURDS BOD



This also seems to be weirdly ignoring the whole sheís 30 feet tall and heís like 5í7 thing lol

romanowski
Nov 10, 2012



Augus
Mar 9, 2015

BORN TO DIE
WORLD IS A FUCK
Kill Em All 2010
I am trash mon
410,757,864,530 DEAD COPS


in an attempt to change the subject to literally anything else...

The last Cadence of Hyrule DLC came out! It's pretty cool, you can play as Skull Kid now and there are new enemies, items, and bosses. Also a pretty bangin Deku Palace remix.

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007




College Slice

Augus posted:

in an attempt to change the subject to literally anything else...

The last Cadence of Hyrule DLC came out! It's pretty cool, you can play as Skull Kid now and there are new enemies, items, and bosses. Also a pretty bangin Deku Palace remix.

Oh cool, I lose track of that game for long stretches at a time, guess it's time to redownload it.

The Golux
Feb 18, 2017

Internet Cephalopod




Bust Rodd posted:

This also seems to be weirdly ignoring the whole sheís 30 feet tall and heís like 5í7 thing lol

5'7" sounds like it's on the upper side of possible Link height...

thrilla in vanilla
Oct 9, 2012





Breath of the wild 3 heart challenge run as done by somebody very bad at Zelda, pt I



  • plateau went basically without anything noteworthy. EXCEPT...
  • Fell in icy water outside of the cryonis shrine and died exactly six times trying to reach the chest in the middle.
  • Got my first stamina upgrade in the temple. Climbed up to the roof and managed to fall through a hole in the roof, to my death
  • After flying off the plateau I went and found a horse, itís a nice brown and white patchy one with a bright tan mane.
  • I plan on naming the horse Tannehill once I get to a stable.
  • Tried to find a stable, ended up making it to the shiekah tower by dueling peaks and activating it
  • Continued across hylia bridge and killed a few lizalfos on horseback. Got their kickass spears and boomerang swords
  • killed three cranes with a square bomb and got six drumsticks
  • Went back and encountered two people being attacked by blue books, sprayed a bunch of ice arrows everywhere like a dipshit and got a sneaky mushroom skewer as a reward.
  • Did a shrine by another bridge (provis? Something like that. It had a dead guardian in the water that some guy pointed out)
  • Got a 50dmg edge of duality sword in the shrine but also got smashed by giant spiky balls twice before stopping them with magnesis

Ok thatís all for next time but if you want to suggest a different name for my horse quote this post and Iíll consider them when next I play

BaldDwarfOnPCP
Jun 26, 2019





thrilla in vanilla posted:

Breath of the wild 3 heart challenge run as done by somebody very bad at Zelda, pt I



  • plateau went basically without anything noteworthy. EXCEPT...
  • Fell in icy water outside of the cryonis shrine and died exactly six times trying to reach the chest in the middle.
  • Got my first stamina upgrade in the temple. Climbed up to the roof and managed to fall through a hole in the roof, to my death
  • After flying off the plateau I went and found a horse, itís a nice brown and white patchy one with a bright tan mane.
  • I plan on naming the horse Tannehill once I get to a stable.
  • Tried to find a stable, ended up making it to the shiekah tower by dueling peaks and activating it
  • Continued across hylia bridge and killed a few lizalfos on horseback. Got their kickass spears and boomerang swords
  • killed three cranes with a square bomb and got six drumsticks
  • Went back and encountered two people being attacked by blue books, sprayed a bunch of ice arrows everywhere like a dipshit and got a sneaky mushroom skewer as a reward.
  • Did a shrine by another bridge (provis? Something like that. It had a dead guardian in the water that some guy pointed out)
  • Got a 50dmg edge of duality sword in the shrine but also got smashed by giant spiky balls twice before stopping them with magnesis

Ok thatís all for next time but if you want to suggest a different name for my horse quote this post and Iíll consider them when next I play

I fukken hate blue book (exams), oh wait this dates me horribly doesn't it

e: PAL o mine

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Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007




College Slice


Please name your horse Useless, as befitting its station in life

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