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Rutibex
Sep 9, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
why are idiot millennials so obsessed with "opening" their failed relationships? do they have a suffering fetish?

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supernatural blonde
Mar 15, 2005

Lipstick Apathy
Lol she gets pregnant as soon as she starts loving another guy, good for her. I hope the author never breeds.

thathonkey
Jul 17, 2012

Rutibex posted:

why are idiot millennials so obsessed with "opening" their failed relationships? do they have a suffering fetish?

surely having a baby together will fix the issues but if that doesn't work it's open relationships all day

Decebal
Jan 6, 2010

Rutibex posted:

why are idiot millennials so obsessed with "opening" their failed relationships? do they have a suffering fetish?

Tying a woman down into a monogamous relationship smells a bit too much like a patriarchal value. If you're fighting for change, but are yourself pretty plain, you could create a situation in which you could feel disadvantaged and ....maybe, unique

rakovsky maybe
Nov 4, 2008

Rutibex posted:

why are idiot millennials so obsessed with "opening" their failed relationships? do they have a suffering fetish?

they never learned sexual self-control due to easy access to pornography while children, so they turn their licentiousness into a virtue

Who Is Paul Blart
Oct 22, 2010
C U CK

Minimalist Program
Aug 14, 2010

rakovsky maybe posted:

they never learned sexual self-control due to easy access to pornography while children, so they turn their licentiousness into a virtue

For some reason this post made me think of the words: Sexual Homer.

Gaunab
Feb 13, 2012
LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL
Did anyone actually read the whole thing?

Rutibex
Sep 9, 2001

by Fluffdaddy

rakovsky maybe posted:

they never learned sexual self-control due to easy access to pornography while children, so they turn their licentiousness into a virtue

ah the same reason for the decadence and decline of the Roman Empire. except in that case it was easy access to high quality nude statues and slave girls

Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012

Gaunab posted:

Did anyone actually read the whole thing?

i did (for real) let me summarize it for you. guy pwns himself. then writes pretentiously about it, using the style of "Cue *life event*... i'm feeling *feelings*" lol. the end

Falun Bong Refugee
Dec 14, 2015

by FactsAreUseless
A millennial was probably the first person to unironically say, "Take my wife...please!"

Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012

Cue making GBS threads on the toilet. Cut to wiping. There's no toilet paper. I'm devastated.

Windows 98
Nov 13, 2005

HTTP 400: Bad post
I am Jack's flaccid cock

down n out
Sep 16, 2008

Nap Ghost
He forgot to include a picture of the hero of this story, hot yoga owner Cam, the uterus whisperer.

just ray
Jan 3, 2014

by merry exmarx
im the hairy butthole

I'm Crap
Aug 15, 2001

Rutibex posted:

why are idiot millennials so obsessed with "opening" their failed relationships? do they have a suffering fetish?
yes

Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012

down n out posted:

He forgot to include a picture of the hero of this story, hot yoga owner Cam, the uterus whisperer.

it's true, cam is the real hero of the story. also it's one letter away from cum.

Windows 98
Nov 13, 2005

HTTP 400: Bad post
If you scroll back in Twitter you can find some pretty funny stuff

https://twitter.com/ianmack/status/203333904101412865

It also defeats the purpose of pixel blurring your former wife in your dumb article if you have your Twitter directly linked to it with thousands of pictures of her.

DJ Fuckboy Supreme
Feb 10, 2011

And when you stare long into the abyss, you become aggressively, terminally chill

Hell Yeah posted:

Cue making GBS threads on the toilet. Cut to wiping. There's no toilet paper. I'm devastated.

Windows 98
Nov 13, 2005

HTTP 400: Bad post
https://twitter.com/ianmack/status/191335020789637120

Would. I guess.

Gaunab
Feb 13, 2012
LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL
Read a little bit and came to the conclusion that they were just dumb hippies masquerading as average people. Goddamn Gen-Xers

Decebal
Jan 6, 2010

Yeah, I'll throw my semen in the mix too

just ray
Jan 3, 2014

by merry exmarx
ian mackenzie is my second favorite member of fugazi

Owlbear Camus
Jan 3, 2013

Maybe this guy that flies is just sort of passing through, you know?



i like how he seems to come to the conclusion, in spite of agonizing self-ownage, that polyamory cannot fail; only be failed

Apoplexy
Mar 9, 2003

by Shine

Otisburg posted:

i like how he seems to come to the conclusion, in spite of agonizing self-ownage, that polyamory cannot fail; only be failed

Hahahahaha. It's funny because 100% of polyamorous relationships fail, yet it's somehow not the system that's at fault. It's not enough COMPERSION.

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc
I gotta say, i expected the writer to be fatter

Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012

has anyone mentioned that it's weird that his wife was having unprotected sex with her business partner enough to get pregnant, while they're still married? like don't people in this type of relationship use condoms for sex outside their relationship at least? god drat.

thathonkey
Jul 17, 2012
has anyone found his reddit account yet

thathonkey
Jul 17, 2012
he spent a lot of words to say "man i discovered that cheating is cool and good ... why can't my barren wife appreciate that it makes me happy"

Falun Bong Refugee
Dec 14, 2015

by FactsAreUseless

just ray posted:

ian mackenzie is my second favorite member of fugazi

Yeah, Guy Piccolo was the best.

thathonkey
Jul 17, 2012

thathonkey posted:

he spent a lot of words to say "man i discovered that cheating is cool and good ... why can't my barren wife appreciate that it makes me happy"

oh wait nevermind i hadnt read the very end yet whre she gets impregnated by the yoga dude she started loving during the open relationship and chooses him lmao

Curdy Lemonstan
Jan 25, 2012

by zen death robot
So uhm why is there an ongoing trend of internet men savagely opening up their relationship despite their wives protests and then getting brutally owned in tje process? Is he trying to be a hero? I mean if my wife was against open marriage I would take it as a sign that hardships can be overcome without completely changing the rules of the marriage.

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc

Curdy Lemonstan posted:

So uhm why is there an ongoing trend of internet men savagely opening up their relationship despite their wives protests and then getting brutally owned in tje process? Is he trying to be a hero? I mean if my wife was against open marriage I would take it as a sign that hardships can be overcome without completely changing the rules of the marriage.

They've just trying to ~~disrupt~~ marriage because social norms are for squares

client
Aug 19, 2010

Curdy Lemonstan posted:

So uhm why is there an ongoing trend of internet men savagely opening up their relationship despite their wives protests and then getting brutally owned in tje process? Is he trying to be a hero? I mean if my wife was against open marriage I would take it as a sign that hardships can be overcome without completely changing the rules of the marriage.

lmao they do seriously get owned every time

http://nymag.com/thecut/2015/07/what-open-marriage-taught-one-man-about-feminism.html

thathonkey
Jul 17, 2012

Nick Rivers posted:

Self-indulgent prose, fertility treatments, open marriage, trip to burning man, tarot cards, Cam the hunky yoga studio co-owner, Nintendo Wii, a section of "deep introspection" framed by the lighting and stubbing out of a cigarette, un-marriage ceremony, a pregnancy, a patreon link at the end, zero self awareness, AND MORE!

add: hiring a doula and home birth, packing sad remnants of shattered life into a subaru hatchback

Curdy Lemonstan
Jan 25, 2012

by zen death robot

Mange Mite posted:

They've just trying to ~~disrupt~~ marriage because social norms are for squares

They could just try to you know, put some effort into the marriage instead of blaming the system for their troubles and miscommunications, and then throwing everything aside because ~<*being free as a bird is the most beautiful thing in the world, also freedom solves all problems.*>~.

(you should still definitely blame the system for basically everything and kill all rich white dudes etc, it just seems so drastic when there are plenty of normal healthy options, like marriage counseling and weird sex dungeons).

Turtle Sandbox
Dec 31, 2007

by Fluffdaddy

Curdy Lemonstan posted:

So uhm why is there an ongoing trend of internet men savagely opening up their relationship despite their wives protests and then getting brutally owned in tje process? Is he trying to be a hero? I mean if my wife was against open marriage I would take it as a sign that hardships can be overcome without completely changing the rules of the marriage.

Maybe they believe they are like, top tier men, and an open relationship is just them convincing their wife to let them sleep around?

That or something like it has to be going through their head, but I can't imagine going up to your SO, telling them you want to gently caress other people and they have to be cool with it, especially if open relationships weren't your thing before and you stumbled across them when you were finally ready to leave or cheat.

Also if they were down for the open thing because they feared a sudden change you just gave them time and space to hunt down your replacement while maintaining normalcy so of course people go along with it until, unsurprisingly, they don't.

Rutibex
Sep 9, 2001

by Fluffdaddy

Hell Yeah posted:

has anyone mentioned that it's weird that his wife was having unprotected sex with her business partner enough to get pregnant, while they're still married? like don't people in this type of relationship use condoms for sex outside their relationship at least? god drat.

i'm pretty sure she did that intentionally, to end the farce of a relationship

Cosmik Slop
Oct 9, 2007

What's a hole doing in my TARDIS?


Gaunab posted:

Did anyone actually read the whole thing?

I did. It's the most awful, pretentious poo poo. It reminded me of David Sedaris' line about his students insisting that since their pain was significant, their writing must be significant too.

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Rutibex
Sep 9, 2001

by Fluffdaddy

Turtle Sandbox posted:

Maybe they believe they are like, top tier men, and an open relationship is just them convincing their wife to let them sleep around?

That or something like it has to be going through their head, but I can't imagine going up to your SO, telling them you want to gently caress other people and they have to be cool with it, especially if open relationships weren't your thing before and you stumbled across them when you were finally ready to leave or cheat.

Also if they were down for the open thing because they feared a sudden change you just gave them time and space to hunt down your replacement while maintaining normalcy so of course people go along with it until, unsurprisingly, they don't.

the best part is this guys wife didn't even want an open relationship. the second she had the opportunity for monogamy with someone better she grabbed it :v:

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