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DONKEY SALAMI
Jun 28, 2008

donkey? donkey?

A double pregnancy nice

Bump on a bump

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naem
May 29, 2011


Also these cucktales always seem to involve weathyish/ upper middle class young people; the guy's a douschey $150k + programmer and the fairly attractive 7/10 girl married him for financial stability; he has money and gets a big head and wants some on the side, she realizes she doesn't like him that much plus he's an arrogant useless dweeb.

In past eras he would just have an affair without telling her and she would divorce him before loving a yoga instructor. I guess today they make it into a weird little ritual and write blogs about it

Oh Hell No
Oct 10, 2007

I've got the world on a string.


Not the same book mentioned in the article, but based on the number of otherwise functional relationships I've seen implode after someone read it, The Ethical Slut is Atlas Shrugged for millennial narcissists instead of Boomer/Gen-X narcissists.

Horniest Manticore
Nov 23, 2013

Hello, you!
Lipstick Apathy

Oh Hell No posted:

Not the same book mentioned in the article, but based on the number of otherwise functional relationships I've seen implode after someone read it, The Ethical Slut is Atlas Shrugged for millennial narcissists instead of Boomer/Gen-X narcissists.

peep the chick's reading material in this famous cartoon


the look on the guy's face in the last panel always kills me. "yeah, this is great. i'm happy with this, really i am..."

Apoplexy
Mar 9, 2003

by Shine
'Fulfiling' indeed.

Decebal
Jan 6, 2010

Horniest Manticore posted:

peep the chick's reading material in this famous cartoon


the look on the guy's face in the last panel always kills me. "yeah, this is great. i'm happy with this, really i am..."

The stubble on her legs is a good touch ! :)

Minimalist Program
Aug 14, 2010
As a fellow soft white programmer it blows my mind that this retard thought he could ever score anybody other than his wife. I can barely score with my wife.

Minimalist Program
Aug 14, 2010
*pines longingly for a handshake at purning man*

King of Bees
Dec 28, 2012
Gravy Boat 2k
New movie at Sundance: Becoming Poly

Corn Glizzy
Jun 28, 2007



Aralan posted:

I like this quote from the article:

Because you can tell from the first questions he was probably hoping (and maybe IRL suggested) that she'd abort her miracle yoga cuck baby

Minimalist Program posted:

As a fellow soft white programmer it blows my mind that this retard thought he could ever score anybody other than his wife. I can barely score with my wife.

Hello yes I am a yoga instructor, should I stop by for a consultation?

abigserve
Sep 13, 2009

this is a better avatar than what I had before
We've made it five pages and no one has popped in with a "well just to play devil's advocate" post yet

Also someone link that whole comic about open relationships because lol

Oh Hell No
Oct 10, 2007

I've got the world on a string.


Minimalist Program posted:

As a fellow soft white programmer it blows my mind that this retard thought he could ever score anybody other than his wife. I can barely score with my wife.

I think a lot of these guys mistake "my female friends feel comfortable being emotionally open with me because I'm married and therefore 'safe'" for "all these women want to sex me and my wife's jealousy is the only thing standing in the way"

Nick Rivers
Nov 23, 2004
This is the part where i knew for sure this guy was the biggest self-centered rear end in a top hat on earth

quote:

Scarcely two hours into journey, we sit in the vehicle lineup waiting to cross the U.S. border. I receive a text.

“It failed.” Katherine writes. A miscarriage. Blood and tears in a toilet.

My chest constricts, sadness welling behind my eyes. But I can’t cry. The border guard is waving us forward.

his wife just miscarried and he is UNDER 2 HOURS AWAY but he can't be assed to turn around and be with her in her awful moment.

nope. gotta go to burning man! me me me!

LethalGeek
Nov 4, 2009

Doctor Schnabel posted:

I begin using words like polyamorous (meaning “many loves”) and non-monogamy in conversation. I learn that you don’t make any important decisions during NRE (new relationship energy) and that compersion (taking joy in your partner’s joy) is the opposite of jealousy, but that both can exist simultaneously.
This triggered me :eek:

abigserve posted:

We've made it five pages and no one has popped in with a "well just to play devil's advocate" post yet

Also someone link that whole comic about open relationships because lol

How do you try to defend anything about this dude even if you somehow agree with him? If you wanna gently caress around just gently caress around

abigserve
Sep 13, 2009

this is a better avatar than what I had before
Loud music plays. Dreadlocked men beat several large drums as I dance in the desert, my clothes heavy with dust from the day.

"HEY BRO HOW GREAT IS THE DESERT MAN?" a man yells into my ear. He is a stranger, but in the desert there are no strangers. I clap my hands to the beat, it is beautiful. I lean in and yell back

"YEAH MAN! MY WIFE MISCARRIED TODAY! DID YOU CATCH THAT CRAZY MOVING PERFORMANCE ART STATUE?? "

Horniest Manticore
Nov 23, 2013

Hello, you!
Lipstick Apathy

Nick Rivers posted:

This is the part where i knew for sure this guy was the biggest self-centered rear end in a top hat on earth


his wife just miscarried and he is UNDER 2 HOURS AWAY but he can't be assed to turn around and be with her in her awful moment.

nope. gotta go to burning man! me me me!

i see another loss edit in the near future...

Dial-a-Dog
May 22, 2001

Nick Rivers posted:

This is the part where i knew for sure this guy was the biggest self-centered rear end in a top hat on earth


his wife just miscarried and he is UNDER 2 HOURS AWAY but he can't be assed to turn around and be with her in her awful moment.

nope. gotta go to burning man! me me me!

Uh, maybe you missed the part where he totally understood the temple of transition and took a bunch of pictures, so it was probably pretty important that he hang out with a bunch of dirt people in the middle of nowhere, presumably with no cellphone service, immediately after his wife miscarried.

"I just miscarried the baby we've been trying to have for four years"

"My heart has been pierced with the icy cold pain of a thousand tiny daggers, is this what it means to truly be sad, I wonder? Anyway gtg the mushrooms are starting to kick in I'll text you in a few days"

Dead Precedents
May 5, 2005

Precedents come and go, but death goes on forever.

Minimalist Program posted:

As a fellow soft white programmer it blows my mind that this retard thought he could ever score anybody other than his wife. I can barely score with my wife.

:same:

Teikanmi
Dec 16, 2006

by R. Guyovich
My wife blew me today and swallowed as she gazed into my eyes lovingly

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost

Nick Rivers posted:

you will never guess what happens next!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ian-mackenzie/love-will-be-the-death-of-us_b_10658650.html

It's a long awful read but worth it. This guy's life is like a parody of these type of stories.

The story has it all!

Self-indulgent prose, fertility treatments, open marriage, trip to burning man, tarot cards, Cam the hunky yoga studio co-owner, Nintendo Wii, a section of "deep introspection" framed by the lighting and stubbing out of a cigarette, un-marriage ceremony, a pregnancy, a patreon link at the end, zero self awareness, AND MORE!

let me guess, he wanted an open marriage and was disappoined with the results

No. 6
Jun 30, 2002

Teikanmi posted:

My wife blew me today and swallowed as she gazed into my eyes lovingly

She did the same to me last Tuesday.

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost

No. 6 posted:

She did the same to me last Tuesday.

It isn't nice to tell someone that their wife blew you

Mega64
May 23, 2008

I took the octopath less travelered,

And it made one-eighth the difference.

abigserve posted:

We've made it five pages and no one has popped in with a "well just to play devil's advocate" post yet

Fine I'll do it.

Open relationships are good because it always leads to hilarious idiot drama like this.

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost

Mega64 posted:

Fine I'll do it.

Open relationships are good because it always leads to hilarious idiot drama like this.

I'm free tonight

Decebal
Jan 6, 2010
Why can't people just go to a "on premise" sex club, have some fun together, get it out of your system and then leave. No names or attachments.

Rutibex
Sep 9, 2001

by Fluffdaddy

Nick Rivers posted:

This is the part where i knew for sure this guy was the biggest self-centered rear end in a top hat on earth


his wife just miscarried and he is UNDER 2 HOURS AWAY but he can't be assed to turn around and be with her in her awful moment.

nope. gotta go to burning man! me me me!

i missed this gem, thank you.

if i had done all of these things i would feel far to much shame to write it down. he must be a very free spirit

ElectricSheep
Jan 14, 2006

she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.

Minimalist Program posted:

it's a cool coincidence that the loudest word he ever screamed was the word "gently caress", which is also the rudest word you can ever scream.

I would argue "oval office" here

Also this guy is getting annihilated in the comments section, which is something considering it's HuffPo

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost
You can dress it up with all the pretentious words you want mate, but all I gathered from this piece is that you're a complete tosser.

Madeline knows whats up

ziasquinn
Jan 1, 2006

Fallen Rib
Cue a bunch of loving excuses that the author believes is writing

naem
May 29, 2011

Nick Rivers posted:

This is the part where i knew for sure this guy was the biggest self-centered rear end in a top hat on earth


his wife just miscarried and he is UNDER 2 HOURS AWAY but he can't be assed to turn around and be with her in her awful moment.

nope. gotta go to burning man! me me me!

Why would he want people to know this

old fat bird
Oct 27, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
reading this makes me have zero sympathy for women because multiple of them willingly had sex with this rear end clwon, presumably knowing what he writes likes because of texts - sorry girls this ones on you

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc

naem posted:

Why would he want people to know this

As with many things, millenials are determined to reinvent the wheel. For instance, this guy is probably now figuring out what "shame" is and why it exists

FisheyStix
Jul 2, 2008

This avatar was paid for by the Silent Majority.
Yoga guy sure likes it
c uck the casbah, c uck the casbah

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost

Mange Mite posted:

As with many things, millenials are determined to reinvent the wheel. For instance, this guy is probably now figuring out what "shame" is and why it exists


FisheyStix posted:

Yoga guy sure likes it
c uck the casbah, c uck the casbah

Horniest Manticore
Nov 23, 2013

Hello, you!
Lipstick Apathy

FisheyStix posted:

Yoga guy sure likes it
c uck the casbah, c uck the casbah

This is not kosher!

Infidel Castro
Jun 8, 2010

Again and again
Your face reminds me of a bleak future
Despite the absence of hope
I give you this sacrifice




FisheyStix posted:

Yoga guy sure likes it
c uck the casbah, c uck the casbah

cúck me
cúck me my friend
cúck me
cúck me again

I'm not the only one (bangin' her)

Soup du Journey
Mar 20, 2006

by FactsAreUseless
you guys do know you can write cuck again, right?

Owlbear Camus
Jan 3, 2013

Maybe this guy that flies is just sort of passing through, you know?



I would pay cash dollars to read the wife's candid account of all this bullshit.

Horniest Manticore
Nov 23, 2013

Hello, you!
Lipstick Apathy

Doctor Schnabel posted:

you guys do know you can write cuck again, right?

this is what it sounds like when doves cry

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Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost

Doctor Schnabel posted:

you guys do know you can write cuck again, right?

why would you want to?

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