- misty mountaintop
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by Hand Knit
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I just saw a vicious custardy battle. Creamer vs. Creamer.
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Jul 2, 2016 19:41
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Apr 16, 2024 22:42
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- misty mountaintop
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by Hand Knit
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Food Court Judge: I declare this leftover pad thai is no longer edible and must be thrown out.
Defendant: Suck my dick, you fuckman.
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Jul 2, 2016 19:43
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- HighwireAct
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Pozzo's Hat
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The whole Schnitzel Shop crew is marching toward the French patisserie across the court to restock on napkins and utensils, but they need to go around the Belgian chocolate stand in the center to get there. Tensions are high, and no one can guarantee that the neutral chocolatiers will tolerate this for long.
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Jul 2, 2016 19:57
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- alnilam
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You want the juice? You can't handle the juice!
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Jul 3, 2016 03:45
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- Piso Mojado
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You want the juice? You can't handle the juice!
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Jul 3, 2016 03:50
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- google THIS
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plaintiff's attorney: your honor, the accused has clearly stolen my client's intellectual property!
defendant's attorney: objection, your honor! mr. fil-a is on record as admitting that he did not invent the chicken, just the chicken sandwich!
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Jul 3, 2016 04:07
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- FutonForensic
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The Spar of The Sbarros
 
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Jul 3, 2016 17:14
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- misty mountaintop
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by Hand Knit
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Judge: Do you plead guilty to the charges?
Kool-Aid Man: Oh, Yeah!
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Jul 3, 2016 17:32
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- ghost emoji
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oooOooOOOooh
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You're the worst lawyer I've ever seen! How did you even pass the Sbarro exam?
CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE:
The contents of this post and any attachments are intended solely for the addressee(s) and may contain confidential and/or privileged information and may be legally protected from disclosure. The information is intended to be for the use of the individual or entity designated above. If you are not the intended recipient of this post, please notify the sender immediately, and delete the post and any attachments. Any disclosure, reproduction, distribution or other use of this post or any attachments by an individual or entity other than the intended recipient is prohibited.
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Jul 4, 2016 00:23
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- misty mountaintop
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by Hand Knit
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Your honor, we ask that due to the depravity of the crimes of which they stand accused, these baby back ribs be tried as adults.
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Jul 4, 2016 00:26
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- misty mountaintop
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by Hand Knit
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I used to think that there was nothing wrong with our food courts, but after watching Baking a Murderer, I'm not sure anymore.
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Jul 4, 2016 00:28
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- misty mountaintop
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by Hand Knit
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The People vs OJ
If it isn't fresh-squeezed
He must be released
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Jul 4, 2016 01:38
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- misty mountaintop
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by Hand Knit
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The Twinkie Defense again? I'm sick of all these Milk Trials.
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Jul 4, 2016 01:39
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- ghost emoji
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oooOooOOOooh
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Judge: Order!!! Order in the Court!!!
Defendant: Beef jerky, diet coke and fries, please.
CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE:
The contents of this post and any attachments are intended solely for the addressee(s) and may contain confidential and/or privileged information and may be legally protected from disclosure. The information is intended to be for the use of the individual or entity designated above. If you are not the intended recipient of this post, please notify the sender immediately, and delete the post and any attachments. Any disclosure, reproduction, distribution or other use of this post or any attachments by an individual or entity other than the intended recipient is prohibited.
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Jul 4, 2016 02:58
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- bean mom
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You're the worst lawyer I've ever seen! How did you even pass the Sbarro exam?
by the slice
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Jul 4, 2016 05:50
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- HighwireAct
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Pozzo's Hat
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the schnitzel shop has overtaken the patisserie, and the stakes are as high as the ridiculous new price they've given the macarons. the employees of Hamburger Shack, Ned's Poutine, and Wellington's Pub down the block are noticeably upset since those French guys were pretty chill and copped them free morning buns every once in a while. word's going around that they're gonna make a move soon, but no one can say for sure
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Jul 4, 2016 05:53
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- Dr. Yinz Ljubljana
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The Panda Express free samples guy straight up stabbed by the dude from the Sunglass Hut out in front of everyone. He whispers "Five Guys Forever" and walks out of the mall
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Jul 4, 2016 11:52
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- Cuntington
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Judge: Do you plead guilty to the charges?
Kool-Aid Man: Oh, Yeah!
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Jul 4, 2016 14:09
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- misty mountaintop
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by Hand Knit
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Florida State Circuit Court Judge Marilyn Milian: alright everyone settle settle, court will reconvene now that the paternity test results are in for the custody battle of the plantiff one Burger King v. the defendent one Dairy Queen
DQ: I am telling you, your honour, this child is not his and it is not his right to seek custody
BK: Chill out, he's mine and he wants to be with his daddy and now you'll finally see *turns to the studio audience* you'll all see
Studio audience: *hoots and hollers*
Marily Milian: yes yes, settle settle, well the results are in and are legally binding and I guess they just leave me with one question for you, Mr. King
BK: yes, your honour?
MM: how exactly do you expect to gain custody of a child when he's *suspenseful music leading up to a giant banner unfurling* NACHOS
DQ: *doing the stanky leg*
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Sep 28, 2016 17:06
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- Luvcow
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One day nearer spring
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lol
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Sep 28, 2016 17:14
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- social vegan
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Burger Queen: Your honour, please refer to exhibit A
Judge: ah yes we have here what seems to be a crumpled receipt from one Orange, Julius?
BQ: WHO THE gently caress IS JULIUS?!
Burger King: YOU SAID I COULD HAVE IT MY WAY
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Sep 28, 2016 17:21
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- Palisader
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DESPAIR MORTALS, FOR I WISH TO PLAY PATTY-CAKE
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Lawyer: do you or do you not admit that you intentionally tried to pose as Panda Express for the purposes of deceiving others??
Lotus Express: *sweats nervously*
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Sep 28, 2016 17:27
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- Luvcow
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One day nearer spring
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when i was a kid you could just stroll into the food court but now there's metal detectors and armed guards 
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Sep 28, 2016 17:28
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- social vegan
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Lawyer: do you or do you not admit that you intentionally tried to pose as Panda Express for the purposes of deceiving others??
Lotus Express: *sweats nervously*
Judge: we've reviewed the evidence regarding serving speed supporting empircal use of "Express" in Panda vs. Lotus
Panda Express and Lotus Express: And?!
J: it's a Thai
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Sep 28, 2016 17:30
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- Luvcow
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One day nearer spring
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*a man wearing a straight jacket and strapped to a dolly is wheeled through the food court and placed in front of the sbarro. the crowd hushes as the trial begins*
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Sep 28, 2016 17:29
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- HighwireAct
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Pozzo's Hat
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Judge: we've reviewed the evidence regarding serving speed supporting empircal use of "Express" in Panda vs. Lotus
Panda Express and Lotus Express: And?!
J: it's a Thai
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Sep 28, 2016 17:41
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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#
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Apr 16, 2024 22:42
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- misty mountaintop
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by Hand Knit
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Q: What's the difference between the multiple court systems we have?
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Sep 28, 2016 18:07
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Jul 2, 2016 19:41
<3 
<3 Vanisher 
