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How do you humanely put down a beloved pet?
shovel
detergent in his soup
the transporter
his meows are shrill and offputting
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Haptical Sales Slut
Mar 15, 2010

Age 18 to 49
How do I find a judgement free vet? my cat is old as hell and has chronic kidney disease and weighs 5 1/2 pounds and pukes everywhere. I've only had him like 4 yeras but he's started getting sick half that time, so I barely know the guy. feel bad but my couch is hosed.

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EugeneJ
Feb 5, 2012

by FactsAreUseless
I worked for a pharmacy and we would make up saline bags for 20-year old cats that couldn't move, yet the owners wanted to keep them alive and on IV's

Mooktastical
Jan 8, 2008

Nuts and Gum posted:

How do I find a judgement free vet? my cat is old as hell and has chronic kidney disease and weighs 5 1/2 pounds and pukes everywhere. I've only had him like 4 yeras but he's started getting sick half that time, so I barely know the guy. feel bad but my couch is hosed.

A burlap sack and cinder block should solve this problem nicely

gimme the GOD DAMN candy
Jul 1, 2007
every woman you meet already thinks you are garbage so what does it matter if some vet you will never see again does too?

The Duchess Smackarse
May 8, 2012

by Lowtax

Nuts and Gum posted:

How do I find a judgement free vet? my cat is old as hell and has chronic kidney disease and weighs 5 1/2 pounds and pukes everywhere. I've only had him like 4 yeras but he's started getting sick half that time, so I barely know the guy. feel bad but my couch is hosed.

Do not murder your cat OP, this is a test

Tuxedo Gin
May 21, 2003

Classy.

a few people i know from high school became vets and they constantly post on facebook bitching about pet owners like you and how you are all scum

you might as well drop the thing off outside a shelter

Three-Phase
Aug 5, 2006

by zen death robot

Mooktastical posted:

A burlap sack and cinder block should solve this problem nicely

I am thinking a container of some sort and a tank of N2.

Haptical Sales Slut
Mar 15, 2010

Age 18 to 49

Tuxedo Gin posted:

a few people i know from high school became vets and they constantly post on facebook bitching about pet owners like you and how you are all scum

you might as well drop the thing off outside a shelter

That's cool

Nooner
Mar 26, 2011

AN A+ OPSTER (:
have you ever heard of a little thing called a ..... CAT -- a- pult :grin:


MG3
Mar 29, 2016

Hell, I'll do it

Rutibex
Sep 9, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
just drive 10 blocks from your house and release it into the wild. let nature take its course

gimme the GOD DAMN candy
Jul 1, 2007
don't abandon your pet, dickwad. if you want it dead then kill it. no reason to make it suffer just so you don't have to feel bad about it.

The Protagonist
Jun 29, 2009

The average is 5.5? I thought it was 4. This is very unsettling.

gannyGrabber posted:

murder your cat OP, this is a test

Cuntellectual
Aug 6, 2010
Find a bag, put the cat in the bag, you will then know what to do next.

PallasAthene
Dec 6, 2010

Why, vixen, have you again set the gods by the ears in the pride and haughtiness of your heart?
Carbon monoxide poisoning. It's just like going to sleep. But it's pretty tricky to get it right, so leave the cat in the house and do a dress rehearsal first, just sit in your car while it runs in the garage with the door closed for a few hours to make sure the exhaust doesn't leak out of the garage.

Caesar Saladin
Aug 15, 2004

go back in time and don't adopt a cat because you don't deserve to own a pet

DoctorStrangelove
Jun 7, 2012

IT WOULD NOT BE DIFFICULT MEIN FUHRER!

You should shoot it in the back of the head. The part where the brain connects to the spine, medulla oblongata it's called. You see most neuroscientists believe that pain is processed in the spine before it's sent to the brain as a way of ensuring both reflexive reactions to pain and also preventing the sensation of pain from being remembered. If you destroy the medulla oblongata then it shouldn't feel any pain.

Also I'd recommend using a pistol chambered in .45 caliber automatic Colt pistol. .45 ACP is heavy, subsonic cartridge so it will deliver maximum killing power while remainder relatively quite so you don't need to go too far into the woods to avoid having the cops hear you discharge a firearm. .45 ACP and guns that shoot it are very common in the United States and probably Canada too.

MG3
Mar 29, 2016

Put it in the freezer

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007

shotgun a massive hit of crack to the cats face

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007

give it some nip

DOMDOM
Apr 28, 2007

Fun Shoe
holy moly guys

murdering cats is like stage 1 serial killer

maybe he could just rehome his sickly dying gay cat??

Helical Nightmares
Apr 30, 2009

Serious Frolicking posted:

every woman you meet already thinks you are garbage so what does it matter if some vet you will never see again does too?

Is...is this a Garfield joke?

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

DoctorStrangelove posted:

You should shoot it in the back of the head. The part where the brain connects to the spine, medulla oblongata it's called. You see most neuroscientists believe that pain is processed in the spine before it's sent to the brain as a way of ensuring both reflexive reactions to pain and also preventing the sensation of pain from being remembered. If you destroy the medulla oblongata then it shouldn't feel any pain.

Also I'd recommend using a pistol chambered in .45 caliber automatic Colt pistol. .45 ACP is heavy, subsonic cartridge so it will deliver maximum killing power while remainder relatively quite so you don't need to go too far into the woods to avoid having the cops hear you discharge a firearm. .45 ACP and guns that shoot it are very common in the United States and probably Canada too.
You took that line from xXx starring Vin Diesel

Tuxedo Gin
May 21, 2003

Classy.

DOMDOM posted:

holy moly guys

murdering cats is like stage 1 serial killer

maybe he could just rehome his sickly dying gay cat??

cats are the real serial killers

Haptical Sales Slut
Mar 15, 2010

Age 18 to 49

DOMDOM posted:

holy moly guys

murdering cats is like stage 1 serial killer

maybe he could just rehome his sickly dying gay cat??

thats a good option thanks for stepping up. he doesnt work well with other animals or babies ok

Tuxedo Gin
May 21, 2003

Classy.

imho DOMDOM should adopt your cat, OP

Juanito
Jan 20, 2004

I wasn't paying attention
to what you just said.

Can you repeat yourself
in a more interesting way?
Hell Gem

Tuxedo Gin posted:

a few people i know from high school became vets and they constantly post on facebook bitching about pet owners like you and how you are all scum

you might as well dropkick the thing off outside a shelter
fixed

Tuxedo Gin
May 21, 2003

Classy.

i'm supposed to babysit my sisters cats this weekend. there's two adult cats and two kittens


what's the best excuse to have them all put down? i hate cats

rio
Mar 20, 2008

Maybe give your cat to someone who cares and never, ever get another pet or have a kid. 4 years isn't enough to to get to know your cat? How about just kill your self - I'm sure the cat will die too but it would be bette off without you you loving piece of filth, you pile of garbage. Seriously go for you fuckingnxuk

spud
Aug 27, 2003

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
Just hit it with a loving shovel or a brick, then dump it in the trash, it's not like you're killing a dog.

kazr
Jan 28, 2005

spud posted:

Just hit it with a loving shovel or a brick, then dump it in the trash, it's not like you're killing a dog.

give 'er the ol' windows 98 eh?

DOMDOM
Apr 28, 2007

Fun Shoe
throw it out on the highway

Bip Roberts
Mar 29, 2005
There's more than one way to skin a cat op.

EngineerSean
Feb 9, 2004

by zen death robot
wonder how many of these "omg you should never own a pet or baby again wtf is wrong with you" are pro-abortion, makes u think

EvilJoven
Mar 18, 2005

NOBODY,IN THE HISTORY OF EVER, HAS ASKED OR CARED WHAT CANADA THINKS. YOU ARE NOT A COUNTRY. YOUR MONEY HAS THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND ON IT. IF YOU DIG AROUND IN YOUR BACKYARD, NATIVE SKELETONS WOULD EXPLODE OUT OF YOUR LAWN LIKE THE END OF POLTERGEIST. CANADA IS SO POLITE, EH?
Fun Shoe
I put down my cat a few weeks ago because his kidneys were failing and he was going senile and was making GBS threads and pissing outside his box nearly every day for the past month and since doing that my life has been somewhat less stressful.

Bit at the same time I did my best to make his last day awesome and hosed it up because despite paying extra to have him put down at home so he wouldn't be afraid he freaked out and tried to hide when they gave him the first needle that's supposed to sedate him and ever since I feel like a loving monster for letting someone kill my best friend.

DOMDOM
Apr 28, 2007

Fun Shoe
did you cry

I would have cried

my dog is 6 and i hope i die before she does cuz that's gonna be the saddest day of my life

new phone who dis
May 24, 2007

by VideoGames
Morbid Hound
Today my elderly cat was looking kind of skinny and cranky so I gave her a can of salmon with the juice in it because she likes that.

EvilJoven
Mar 18, 2005

NOBODY,IN THE HISTORY OF EVER, HAS ASKED OR CARED WHAT CANADA THINKS. YOU ARE NOT A COUNTRY. YOUR MONEY HAS THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND ON IT. IF YOU DIG AROUND IN YOUR BACKYARD, NATIVE SKELETONS WOULD EXPLODE OUT OF YOUR LAWN LIKE THE END OF POLTERGEIST. CANADA IS SO POLITE, EH?
Fun Shoe

DOMDOM posted:

did you cry

I would have cried

my dog is 6 and i hope i die before she does cuz that's gonna be the saddest day of my life

Ya I did. So did my wife. I had him for 16 years. That day loving sucked.

Edit: this cat was a pretty good cat

EvilJoven fucked around with this message at 06:54 on Jul 6, 2016

DOMDOM
Apr 28, 2007

Fun Shoe
a good cat, for sure

growing up we had one that lived 20 years, well past when we all left the nest. then she got a tumor in her mouth and stopped eating. my mom, with her german efficiency, put the drat cat down immediately. like before telling any of us. would have been nice to say goodbye. god drat germans.

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Blood Shart
Sep 23, 2010

Introduce it to a pit bull or rottweiler; nature will take its course.

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