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Bluedeanie
Jul 20, 2008

It's no longer a blue world, Max. Where could we go?





Hello everybody, I’m Donald J. Trump and I am here to welcome you to the gdt for not one but two great nights of fights. It’s fantastic. Let me tell you, first we’re going to start with the GDT for UFC Fight Night 90: dos Anjos vs. Alvarez, 10 p.m. ET Thursday, July 7 on UFC Fight Pass. Then we’ll get to the next card later.

We’ve got three great nights of fights lined up for International Fight Week and let me tell you: it’s terrific. It’s International Fight Week, and let me tell you. I’m doing very well with the UFC fighters. The UFC fighters, they love me. Dana White, great sports guy, terrific businessman, he loves me. He will be speaking on my behalf, later at the RNC. My friend Tito Ortiz, great friend, I’ve had him at my rallies. He’ll be doing the GDT for the big pay-per-view later with that fellow Brock Lesnar, from the WWE. You know I was in the WWE that one time, I made Vince McMahon shave his head. Great television for the American people, right there. But Dana White, big fan, he tells me “Donald, we need you to write the GDT for the people of the internet, that Something Awful dot com.” I haven’t always liked Something Awful, I’ve never heard of it but I’m told they say mean things about me. Autistic little losers, gonna cry to mommy. Pathetic. But I believe we can make the UFC, and the internet, great again. So let’s get started.

:siren: for the Lightweight title :siren:


Rafael dos Anjos (c)

vs.


Eddie Alvarez

The UFC, it’s an American company but it’s had a big problem with Brazilian immigrants. Let me tell you, huge problem. These Brazilians, they come in and they’re cheaters, whiners, excuse-makers, steroid mutants and some, I assume, are good fighters. This RDA thinks he can come in all huge — muscles protruding — and wrestle and KO his way to the top, beating hard-working American cowboys and Milwaukee restaurateurs out of their own jobs. Very disrespectful. But way back from the days with BJ Penn, the lightweight belt has belonged to the American working class! Let’s take back the belt for America!

Wait I’m sorry, I was told by my campaign that his opponent was American from Bellator, but his last name is clearly Alvarez. Nevermind.

Heavyweight


Roy Nelson

vs.


Derrick Lewis

Roy Nelson, Roy Nelson is a very exciting fighter. Very exciting. He’s got a big right hand, an overhand right — I’d know a thing or two about big hands, I have them — he knocks people out left and right. Knock out of the night!

The Black Beast is dangerous for our children, but the Democrats want him in your movie theaters and in your SI Body Issue. Not fit!

Welterweight


Alan Jouban

vs.


Belal Muhammad

Alan Jouban, he’s a hard worker. Fights a lot of Australians. Very brave!

We need to stop this influx of unchecked Belal Muhammads coming into America. This man has gone 9-0 in the C-leagues out once-great Chicago with a recent TKO win over pseudo-recognizable B-league names like Steve Carl, all while the Obama administration’s impotent immigration department stood by and did nothing. Shameful. That said, he does deserve some credit for brutally owning Cathal Pendred.

Lightweight


Joseph Duffy

vs.


Mitch Clarke

Joseph Duffy is from Ireland, and I was just there in Scotland, Ireland and let me tell you, they were just so enthusiastic about Brexit. It was wonderful, they were going crazy. They finally took their country back. Exciting!

Mitch Clarke is a lightweight loser.

Other poo poo to watch, 6:30 pm ET
Welterweight Mike Pyle vs. Alberto Mina
Lightweight John Makdessi vs. Mehdi Baghdad
Bantamweight Anthony Birchak vs. Dileno Lopes
Bantamweight Russell Doane vs. Pedro Munhoz
Bantamweight Felipe Arantes vs. Jerrod Sanders
Lightweight Gilbert Burns vs. Łukasz Sajewski
Bantamweight Marco Beltrán vs. Reginaldo Vieira
Welterweight Vicente Luque vs. Alvaro Herrera

Bluedeanie fucked around with this message at 21:43 on Jul 7, 2016

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Bluedeanie
Jul 20, 2008

It's no longer a blue world, Max. Where could we go?



Now we’re back again for the Ultimate Fighter 23 Finale, 10 p.m. ET Friday, July 8 on Fox Sports 1!

:siren: For the Women's Strawweight Title :siren:


Joanna Jędrzejczyk (c)

vs.


Cláudia Gadelha

Joanna Jędrzejczyk, real class act. Undefeated, dangerous striking, all around humble and always follows the rules. You goons all claim Joanna is the best but you can’t even spell her name — or even pronounce it. Pathetic.

Claudia Gadelha works really hard but is a girl who just doesn't have the belt -- the system is totally rigged! She should not fight Joanna. She cheated against her like a dog & will do it again--just watch. She can do much better!

:siren: The TUF Light Heavyweight and Women’s Strawweight Finale Fights, featuring Andrew Sanchez vs. Khalil Rountree and Amanda Cooper vs. Tatiana Suarez :siren:


I haven’t watched this show at all. I think I was briefly married to Tatiana Suarez though.

Lightweight


Ross Pearson


vs.


Will Brooks

Puffy-eyed Pearson wants to be a role model to the English, but has multiple DUIs. What a crook.

Let me just tell you one little thing about Will Brooks, which turns out to be a big, big thing. He was the champion in Bellator. Right? Big fighting promotion, it’s great. Wonderful. He could have made — and this is true, I’m not making this up, I’ve seen it — he could have made $700 million fighting in Bellator, but he walked to come here to the UFC, an American company. True class act.

Featherweight


Doo Ho Choi

vs.


Thiago Tavares

This Korean kid Doo Ho Choi, real young prospect. He knocked out, what’s his name, Sam Sicilia, earned $50,000 in bonus money. Real great hands, big — like mine.

Thiago Tavares choked out Clay Guida in 39 seconds. A true American hero, despite being Brazilian.

Lightweight


Joaquim Silva




vs.


Andrew Holbrook

If Joaquim Silva retires from MMA NOW, thereby doing a great service to the UFC-- will give him free lifetime golf at any one of my courses!

Total lightweight Andrew Holbrook!

Other poo poo to watch
FS1 Prelims, 8 p.m. ET
Featherweight (somehow) Gray Maynard vs. Fernando Bruno
Flyweight John Moraga vs. Matheus Nicolau
Middleweight Cezar Ferreira vs. Anthony Smith

Fight Pass prelims, 7 p.m. ET
Lightweight Jake Matthews vs. Kevin Lee
Welterweight Li Jingliang vs. Anton Zafir

Official Weigh-ins, 4 p.m. ET July 7
http://www.ufc.com/media/the-ultimate-fighter-23-finale-official-weigh-in

Official MMA snack rating: A nice grilled Trump Steak, with a cool refreshing Trump Ice to wash it all down


algebra testes
Mar 5, 2011


Lipstick Apathy
:five:

efc: Looking forward to that Alvarez fight

TheRationalRedditor
Jul 17, 2000

WHO ABUSED HIM. WHO ABUSED THE BOY.
This was a lot less heavy handed than it might've been, despite the presence of all those truly heavy hands. Fabulous, just terrific

Lloyd Boner
Oct 11, 2009

Yes officer, my name is Victoria Sonnen...berg
:911: Beautiful

omg chael crash
Jul 8, 2012

Macys paid for this. Noodle Boy and Bonby are bad at video games and even worse friends.


My dude Eddie is bringing that belt back to Broad Street

EmmyOk
Aug 11, 2013

Lmao these two GDTs own, bluedeanie.

Disgusting Coward
Feb 17, 2014
.

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002
please let rda be the man to bring eddie out of his shell. please.

Shirkelton
Apr 6, 2009

I'm not loyal to anything, General... except the dream.

Triticum Guzzler posted:

please let rda be the man to bring eddie out of his shell. please.

I think he just might be on the down-side of his career. But an Eddie War with RDA would be really loving cool.

david carmichael
Oct 28, 2011

Triticum Guzzler posted:

please let rda be the man to bring eddie out of his shell. please.

Even if it's very clinch heavy it's still gonna rule. I just hope neither guy sparks the other early

Mekchu
Apr 10, 2012

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
That OP was beautiful.

Grandmaster.flv
Jun 24, 2011
What time does tonight's prelims start?

Gay Horney
Feb 10, 2013

by Reene
Six thirty eastern I believe

genderfluid and beautiful
Feb 1, 2005

Bluedeanie posted:



Hello everybody, I’m Donald J. Trump and I am here to welcome you to the gdt for not one but two great nights of fights. It’s fantastic. Let me tell you, first we’re going to start with the GDT for UFC Fight Night 90: dos Anjos vs. Alvarez, 10 p.m. ET Wednesday, July 6 on UFC Fight Pass.


This is actually tonight, correct? :cheerdoge:

Bluedeanie
Jul 20, 2008

It's no longer a blue world, Max. Where could we go?



origami posted:

What time does tonight's prelims start?

My bad, 630 pm ET

Grandmaster.flv
Jun 24, 2011

Bluedeanie posted:

My bad, 630 pm ET

cool - thank you

Bluedeanie
Jul 20, 2008

It's no longer a blue world, Max. Where could we go?



evil spiff posted:

This is actually tonight, correct? :cheerdoge:

Also correct, everything fixed. That one got thrown together to get it done in time :blush:

CRISPYBABY
Dec 15, 2007

by Reene
Between TUF and 200, I totally forgot that this card existed, cool, it's solid for a free one.

colonel_korn
May 16, 2003

Doo Ho Choi vs Tavares is a sick fight

handsome only face
Apr 22, 2010

Cockroach went out of the room in anger. And roach's go to empty room...

Cockroache's Anarchist


attackmole posted:

Between TUF and 200, I totally forgot that this card existed, cool, it's solid for a free one.

fightpass, so not free. but it's worth the expense to not have the staggered gently caress up pacing FS1 cards have

Tsyni
Sep 1, 2004
Lipstick Apathy
So is the TUF finale not on fightpass? How can I watch it as a non-american/tv haver.

Le Saboteur
Dec 5, 2007

I hear you wish to ball, adventurer..
And here we go. First fight of the week on now.

Le Saboteur
Dec 5, 2007

I hear you wish to ball, adventurer..
This is a decent fight to start off the card.

meatloafkitten
Mar 2, 2004

To the KISS-copter!
"Forgetting" your mouth guard seems like a good way to buy an extra 10-15 seconds between rounds.

Le Saboteur
Dec 5, 2007

I hear you wish to ball, adventurer..
Herrera is probably the most gassed I've ever seen a welterweight after 1 round.

Gay Horney
Feb 10, 2013

by Reene
sick anaconda.

Le Saboteur
Dec 5, 2007

I hear you wish to ball, adventurer..
Two anaconda choke finishes in a row for him.

Gay Horney
Feb 10, 2013

by Reene
This guy is cool.

DOMELORD420
Dec 28, 2000

spoke two languages perfectly after getting hit in the head a few times. impressive.

Dr. Abysmal
Feb 17, 2010

We're all doomed
I'm glad this is on Fight Pass because there's no way I can watch the card in its entirety and I won't have to fast forward through 9 hours of Fox Sports poo poo on my DVR when I do watch it

Mekchu
Apr 10, 2012

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
That was a good prelim fight to get things started.

Edit - I'll also say that if Rogan ever retires from commentating UFC stuff, Stann should be the guy picked. He's so much better than most other dudes that have been used in the past.

Mekchu fucked around with this message at 00:07 on Jul 8, 2016

DOMELORD420
Dec 28, 2000

its been a bit since ive seen a running bodyslam in the ufc. extremely good poo poo

Gay Horney
Feb 10, 2013

by Reene
This fight rules.

There are some real fuckin firecrackers at bantamweight right now

Mekchu
Apr 10, 2012

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Bantamweight may be the best division on the rise at the moment despite Cruz absolutely dominating fools.

DOMELORD420
Dec 28, 2000

frickin real good poo poo

edit: that whole second round was super rad

Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005

c-spam cannot afford



Those god damned upkicks.

Vitamin Boss
Oct 23, 2006
Burn it to the ground
those upkicks were sick, don't see that nearly often enough imo

Mekchu
Apr 10, 2012

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
It's fitting that this fight had shades of Mousasi/Jacare if it ends up being Mousasi fighting DC this weekend (please let it happen Uncle Dana).

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Dirt
May 26, 2003

That was pretty crazy.

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