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Who blew it the hardest? This poll is closed. |
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| Conor McGregor |
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31 | 15.98% |
| Jon Jones |
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163 | 84.02% |
| Total: | 194 votes | ||
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 Good evening lebsen genlmen,  I am Tito Ortiz, and I am back to officially welcome you to the TDG 200, of UFC, on 10 pm ET Saturday, July 9, only for paper view.We got a AWESOME history card here folks, literally this weekend and Dana and I decided to bury the hatchet, so thanks for me, the People’s Champion, be the official voice, of the night, for the GTD here on the online, for old time sakes. I’m real excited to see the people fighting here in Las Vegas, it reminds me of the time I was ufc undisputulight heavyweight champon, and the hotel was real nice and gave me a complemenery shrimp buffay, which tasted good. But I’m here on the Fight Week for the fans, and this thread is very solidly with my hands around it, so let’s give the fans what they want, on the UFC card, of the night.  haha wow there’s girls in the UFC now, let’s see which will be the best 135 year old, of the night Tate Cupcake. Miesha. vs.  Amandl Noons Miesha Cupcake was the third ever Strikeforce girl champ and now she’s the third ever UFC girl champ at a hundred thirdle pounds. She could never beat the old champ, what’s her name, Randa Rosies, but then HollHolms came and kicked her out, so Miesha came and choked her down and now she’s the champ. Pretty crazy, huh? Now Tate says she wants to fight Christiano, Santos, Cyborg, but she can’t because Cyborg can never fight in the UFC, I can show you it was never fearful about Tate but show you literally impossible. for her to be make that weight. That’s why she’s fighting for $7 in Invicta instead, where I told her to go as her manager, she was my first ever TEAM PUNISHMENT person who hire me and that means a lot, I really appreciate you all coming and. Uh. I just got a text. Oh wow she fought in UFC and I got fired… uh… wow that sucks. Amandl Noons is like Veetor Belfort, who I got to comment-commenat-talk about on Affliction when I was their interview guy. Real powerful, real good guy, real dangerous. So what she’s a black belt in jiu jitsu. She won her first ever decison ever last time so I guess her heart, her cardio’s real good now so she’s gonna tell me, I wanna see, what she saw there in the ring, how she’s gonna feeling this night. Two hundre-265 years old  Brockl Esner verse  Mark Hunt “SuperSamone” Wow, Brock is back. I used to watch him in the WWE, and I saw on an online documentary that one time there was a shark in the ocean and it was gonna eat all the people so he ran in and saved them with his big wrestling move. That was real brave, I’d have done that too but he got there first. Back in the UFC he was a champion too and did real AWESOME until he fought that Metsican guy Kane, who I thought was in the WWE too but I guess he took off the mask and came here to UFC. But anyway Brock got hit real bad and did a barrel flip and now he wasn’t the champion, then he didn’t eat his broccoli and got real sick and AliserOvreem beat him up so he went to WWE again. When I was a little kid I don’t eat my broccoli neither so my mom made me, it sucked but you gotta do what you gotta do sometimes. I like it with cheese sauce now. Mark Hunt is a real cool strong guy who hits real hard, and he use to fight in Japan before UFC. He got his nickname from that cartoon show SuperSamone Goku I think it was, where the vegable man came and everyone screamed real loud, then his hair got blonde like mine used to be but spiky. The SuperSamone in that beat the vegable man with a dominating fashion but a vegable beat Brock Lesnar here in real life, so I think Mark Hunt will win, if you really think about it. For a special, light heavyweight bout, of the night  DC Dannel Cormiay (c but not for the night) verse  Anderson “SpideSilva” Did you know they spell Daniel Cormiay’s name wrong, on all the UFCs and onlines and stuff? They write it like “Cormier” but I heard him say it with his mouth, and that’s not how it is like that. Everyone makes fun of me on the youtube comments about not being able to talk good and stuff, but, heh, but guess I’m not the dummie now this time, huh Dana? Heheh. Danielle’s real AWESOME at wrestling, he’s got AWESOME punches, buddy, let’s look at that. Knockouts over AnthonRumble Johnstons, and Bifgoot, and he wrestled real AWESOME in the college and Olympics. But is only loss, is to Jone Bones, who he was suppose to fight for the best light heavyweight, of the night, before a unfortunate accident with a supplemen made him too strong to fight. Buddy, let me tell him, what he’s thinking tonight? Wow I can’t believe it, the 185 years old champ, Anderson Silva, back again with a dominating fashion. Buddy, let me show you, what he was champ, when I last fought for MY UFC belt, in 2006, verse Chuck Liddell. That was a long time ago, but he was champ for a long time too, not until the Allmerican Chris Weedman fought him, he knocked him out and that was crazy, then the rematch when Spider went for a kick him, and his leg got like gum you chew too long, let me tell him what he was thinking. He hasn’t won in a while but that’s ok, all credit to his warriors but he’s had some injuries, they were real hard to overcome, he works hard to do this, this is in his blood, fighting is what he loves, so it just wasn’t his night, for four years. AWESOME, I can’t wait. To be second the next best Conor Mc-little featherweight fighter, of the night  Josay Aldo. Junior. Verse  Frank “Edgar” Answer This is gonna be an AWESOME fight, it was suppose be Conor McGegl verse Nake Diaz for the fight of the night, but then Conor tried to fight UFC, which take it from me Conor, buddy, that don’t work. You can’t do that. It’s too hard, they win. Then you have to fight Dana and that’s not too scary at first, you think “yeah I can beat up Dana, his bald old head.” But after a little while, you go to the office the next day, and he’s there just screamin and liftin up the whole boxing mat in the training gym up like he’s lookin for a candy, like a chip or somethin he dropped under the couch, except he’s just lifting it up with his big muscles screaming and like three of my — I mean someone else’s needles are stickin out of his rear end and it’s real bad. That’s when you realize your neck is hurt and you need a surgery. Josay Aldo lost to Conor though but that’s ok, he’s AWESOME and was the champ for a long time, and he even beat AnswerFrankie Edgar when they fought the last time. Frankie was the champion too but at a hundred fifty five pounds, I know the fans really wanna see, him, get back in the ring, what he sees, for a belt, now. He beat Chamonl Mendes with an AWESOME ko, he beat, whatshis, Urijah Faber for first time not in a belt, he use to be, what, latest submission ever for UFC, he’s AWESOME. Best fight of the night, for a draw, with Gramanderd. Big  Kane Vasqlez verse  Travis Brown “Happen” Hey it’s that Kane I told you about! He hit Brockle with a AWESOME punch, made him do uh, a flip roll, right in the cage, that was a lot of nights ago but the fans, buddy, are here to see what it’s like, and what he saw, in the cage. He was the champion twice but first he was knocked out by JSD, but then he got it back, but then it was too tall up outside, which I guess is a lot like making you feel like you need a surgery in your neck with an injury. He don’t got too good knees no more so let’s see how he does that, in the fight. Travis and his ex wife remind me a lot of me and my sexy ex girlfriend Jenna Jameson but my lawyer is telling me to stop talking about that now, and he’s dating Randy Rousey anyway, so he’s gonna go in there real big for her, to win, buddy. OTHER poo poo TO WATCH Preliminary Card (Fox Sports 1), 8 pm ET Women's Bantamweight Cat Zingano vs. Julianna Peña Welterweight Johny Hendricks vs. Kelvin Gastelum Bantamweight T.J. Dillashaw vs. Raphael Assunção Lightweight Sage Northcutt vs. Enrique Marín Preliminary Card (UFC Fight Pass), 630 pm ET Lightweight Diego Sanchez vs. Joe Lauzon Middleweight Gegard Mousasi vs. Thiago Santos Lightweight Jim Miller Vs. Takanori Gomi Official weigh-ins, now maybe idk anymore Official snackerating for the MMA: This sandwich tray that my company Primetime 360 provided for you, ourselves, for you  and don’t forget to make your choices, of the best fighters, of the night Bluedeanie fucked around with this message at 17:50 on Jul 8, 2016 |
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Jul 7, 2016 05:52
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I wrote jokes for Cormier vs. Jones because I've had this card up my sleeve going on two weeks now, but Jon Jones ruined my special night. I was drat proud of them though, so I am sharing them here in honor of what could have been. To be the best, light heavyweight, of the night DC Dannel Cormiay (c) verse John Jone “Bones” (also a c) Did you know they spell Daniel Cormiay’s name wrong, on all the UFCs and onlines and stuff? They write it like “Cormier” but I heard him say it with his mouth, and that’s not how it is like that. Everyone makes fun of me on the youtube comments about not being able to talk good and stuff, but, heh, but guess I’m not the dummie now this time, huh Dana? Heheh. Danielle’s real AWESOME at wrestling, he’s got AWESOME punches, buddy, let’s look at that. Knockouts over AnthonRumble Johnstons, and Bifgoot, and he wrestled real AWESOME in the college and Olympics. But is only loss, is to Jone Bones, who he fights for the best light heavyweight, of the night. Buddy, let me tell him, what he’s thinking tonight? We’ve got two belts this time, folks. Champion vs. a champion, for the fight of the night. Jones beat my record for most best light heavyweight, which I don’t like, but his only loss is to Matt Hammer, who I teached on the Ultima Fighter, and you know what? I’ve noticed he don’t hear too good, which means he’s got a soft head and don’t got none of the equilibrum, so that pretty much means I for sure would beat John Jone. I definitely would, except back then my neck was bad from an injury back then, and I had some surgeries on it, so nothing to take away from Jone, he’s a warrior, but I guess it just wasn’t my night in 2011, when we would have fought. Bluedeanie fucked around with this message at 15:04 on Jul 7, 2016 |
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Jul 7, 2016 05:53
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Also if you'd like to support my medical bills, please donate to the Bluedeanie's Self-Induced Stroke Recovery Fund on Gofundme
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Jul 7, 2016 05:56
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CommonShore posted:This op has legit literary value. It's a shame that only a small gang of niche goons will ever see it. I appreciate it! It was really fun to write, but in a way it was among my most challenging to write: like channeling ee cummings through the lens of a profound learning disability. Prelims info was added and I will be adding an entry for Anderson shortly. I apologize for the haphazardly on this one, it was kind of a bitch of a card to keep up with these last few days. Bluedeanie fucked around with this message at 18:41 on Jul 8, 2016 |
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Jul 8, 2016 17:14
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Yes, it seemed much safer than my usual mix of "who will win the title fights" when there were like 16 possible combinations even before the Jones Silva Shuffle.
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Jul 8, 2016 17:21
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UFC 200 GDT v3.2 update history []Fixed bug where bouts appeared in the wrong order []Added Cormier vs. Silva photos and bios Bluedeanie posted:
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Jul 8, 2016 17:51
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Ty1990 posted:Fat Kelvin made weight Good... good...
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Jul 8, 2016 18:02
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I will gladly weigh in Tuesday for a hamburger today https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zaspgmHH4wk
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Jul 8, 2016 18:11
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Mavis Beacon Boi posted:Hendricks has gotta move up, man. This is gettin scary. Hendricks would be severely out reached and undersized at middleweight, he needs to manage his diet more like a pro athlete and less like me, a grossly fat goon
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Jul 8, 2016 18:20
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Dangersim posted:On a serious note and fanboyism aside, are people really counting out anderson that much? Yes he hasn't looked tremendous in his last fights but he was also fighting guys who hung back and fought patiently. That's not what Cormier is at all. Imagine Silva Sonnen 1 except Silva is much older, slower, chinner, less prepared, less juiced and all around more beat up, and Sonnen is way stronger and more powerful and has cardio. What do you think that looks like?
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Jul 8, 2016 19:30
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Dangersim posted:You guys know he fought chael again and stuffed a bunch of takedowns and then ko'd him right Bluedeanie posted:Imagine Silva Sonnen 1 except Silva is much older, slower, chinner, less prepared, less juiced and all around more beat up, and Sonnen is way stronger and more powerful and has cardio. What do you think that looks like? There's always the chance of a shorts grab at least.
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Jul 8, 2016 20:04
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Ratios and Tendency posted:I don't know who Tito Ortiz is. UFC hall of famer and former longtime light heavyweight champ. Speaks like that thread is written. Willingly fathered children with Jenna Jameson. Might have Forrest Gump level intellect.
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Jul 9, 2016 01:15
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I could only get audio at the time, what happened with the mic?
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Jul 9, 2016 23:58
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Love Crime posted:I take it back, you're the leading authority on getting the poo poo kicked out of you Paul Pot?
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Jul 10, 2016 00:03
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Yeah feels really King of the Cage
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Jul 10, 2016 00:14
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Dammmmmmmn
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Jul 10, 2016 00:15
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JOOOOOE
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Jul 10, 2016 00:35
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Buffer's Diamonds Are Forever tux is one of my favorites.
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Jul 10, 2016 01:11
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drat, Sage has strep throat again
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Jul 10, 2016 01:13
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I'm the person wolf whistling in the crowd every time it goes to North south
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Jul 10, 2016 01:22
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Shappa posted:So "generic opponent" probably won that round but they'll give it to sage cause he does better interviews, right? No one knows the true reasoning behind the strange decisions of the judges, but it's definitely not based on interviews or marketability
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Jul 10, 2016 01:24
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Ok got my arms in, what are you supposed to do with your legs and hips during this kind of choke? Nothing hmm... I think it's nothing
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Jul 10, 2016 01:28
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Captain Log posted:I don't have FS 2 and I went to my dads to watch this so there isn't a good computer to stream from. Sage is showing a lot of natural talent crafted by a lot of bad technical guidance and will maybe lose a close decision
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Jul 10, 2016 01:29
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Assuncao doesn't look rusty at all
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Jul 10, 2016 01:57
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Josh Lyman posted:Pretty sure Zingano Pena isn't going to be "a whirlwind of chaos" I'm not sure why you feel this way
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Jul 10, 2016 02:38
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Fifthace posted:It's kinda crazy to think of how far Hendricks has slid. People were arguing that he beat GSP. People were right, too 
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Jul 10, 2016 02:42
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LordPants posted:Rousey did, until she ascended to the "wrecks people fast" status and thought she could box. Other finishing moves: Dan Henderson, Falcon Punch Robbie Lawler, summoning the Blood God Bob Sapp, betting against himself and faking an injury
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Jul 10, 2016 02:51
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fatherdog posted:By thread bylaws, you must now claim she won that round 10-8 and declare eternal emnity against anyone claiming otherwise. Agreed, now let me tell you about Tyron Woodley
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Jul 10, 2016 02:52
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Good fight for unfortunate and unpleasant person Juliana Pena
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Jul 10, 2016 02:57
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While we're here in the lull, I have a question for our new friends who came here because of Brock or overall hype. Would you all be interested in some sort of ufc 200 post fight thoughts thread, or even something just highlighting who's cool or good and what to watch next if you're interested in following mma? Like there's so much more to Mark Hunt than has been illustrated by my thread, and you all deserve to know that.
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Jul 10, 2016 03:02
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LobsterMobster posted:no BALD MAN SHOUT TIMES for UFC 200 confirms it isn't the biggest card of all time It's Peña's fault if you really think about it
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Jul 10, 2016 03:03
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ParanoidInc posted:I would love that Needs More Ditka posted:I'm only following the show through this thread, but I would love to read a big "what to watch in MMA" effortpost like you're describing. I'll get something posted probably tomorrow then. gently caress Travis Browne for using the best fight walkout song of all time, he does not deserve this
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Jul 10, 2016 03:14
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Sudden Loud Noise posted:Wow, Browne has already won the night's "Worst entrance music" contest. You are wrong
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Jul 10, 2016 03:14
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Phobeste posted:He definitely doesn't deserve it though You are right
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Jul 10, 2016 03:16
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Cain is good.
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Jul 10, 2016 03:26
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Aldo looks slow, could be Frankie's just that drat fast tho
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Jul 10, 2016 03:48
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That round was closer but still probably have him 2-0
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Jul 10, 2016 03:55
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I have no firm grasp on who won that fight, but Frankie is the morally just choice
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Jul 10, 2016 04:15
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The Brazilian champ is dead, long live the Brazilian champ
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Jul 10, 2016 04:16
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Is normal.
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Jul 10, 2016 04:29
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