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TheMcD
May 4, 2013

Monaca / Subject N 2020
---------
Despair. Malice.
Values America can believe in.




So, what's all this then?

The Political Machine 2016 is a simulation game (of sorts) about the 2016 general election in the USA. You pick one of several candidates for either the Democratic or Republican party (sorry, no Greens or Libertarians allowed - at least not as a party, you can run with Stein as a Democrat or Johnson as a Republican) and run a campaign against the other party. Build campaign headquarters, run ads, make speeches, gain endorsements and use surrogates to convince the voters that you're the right person to run the USA and score big on Election Day!

OK, and what kind of LP is this going to be?

That's for you to decide! I mean, it's going to be a screenshot LP, that much I'm going to have to decide, but beyond that, who we play as and what we do is going to be entirely up to you folks! I'm essentially just going to be the campaign operator, feeding you the information you need to make the right decisions, and then making those moves. Every turn is a week, and before every week, I'm going to hold a vote on what we should do in that week.

That sounds complicated.

Nah, it's all pretty simple when you get right down to it. Sure, the game has a lot of numbers that you can spend ages staring at, but at the macro level, there's not a lot of different things you need to pay attention to. And besides, you're going to be just one voice amongst many. Masking individual ignorance through a mass amount of people is one of the great things about democracy!

Alright, I'm ready to Make America Great Again now!

Well, hold on a minute. There's some things I still need to go over. Since this is a game involving politics, tensions might flare up in the thread, and I don't want that. You don't want that, either. Nobody wants that. So with that in mind, here's three things I want you to know.

1) Don't take it too seriously. It's just a game, and the developers don't take it that seriously either. When bobblehead *INSERT CANDIDATE HERE* can go to bobblehead non-copyright-infringing Stephen Colbert ripoff Steven Coldcut's show and say that their solution to unemployment is building a whole lot of water parks, then you shouldn't be taking it seriously.

2) Don't take it too personally. Again, it's just a game. Even if your grandma would die if Obamacare was repealed, that doesn't mean that this thread wants to kill your grandma because it decided to campaign on repealing Obamacare. They're just trying to win.

3) Above all, just have fun with it. We're going to go and see if direct democracy can run a political campaign, and it's probably going to blow up spectactularly, but hey, that means it blew up spectacularly, and that's fun!

But before we can start, we need to work some things out, because this wouldn't be your campaign if you didn't get to pick the candidate (note: I know that the game allows you to customize a candidate, but that would be a lot more complicated than just using one of the pre-made ones, so we're going to stick to the pre-made ones for simplicity's sake)! First and foremost, a simple question. Will our candidate be:



A) A Republican?

or



B) A Democrat?

Updates:

01 - Picking Our Candidate
02 - Picking Our Opponent
03 - Political Opportunities
04 - Beginning The Campaign
05 - Week 1
06 - Week 2
07 - Beginning The Campaign, Take 2
08 - Week 1, Take 2
09 - Week 2, Take 2
10 - Extra - A Quick Look At Campaign Mode
11 - Week 3
12 - Week 4
13 - Week 5
14 - Week 6
15 - Week 7
16 - Week 8
17 - Week 9
18 - Week 10 and 11
19 - Week 12
20 - Week 13
21 - Week 14
22 - Week 15
23 - Extra - The 1.03 Update and Hillary's Worst Nightmare
24 - Week 16
25 - The Not-Quite-So-Grand Finale: Zodiac Strikes Back
26 - Election Post-Game Wrap-Up, Sponsored By Towa Group

TheMcD fucked around with this message at Sep 29, 2016 around 22:32

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dscruffy1
Nov 22, 2007

Look out!


We should be a Republican. But not just any Republican. The only Republican that matters.

Rarity
Oct 21, 2010

PONYTAR
PONYTAR
PONYTAR




Republican

We must build a wall to protect our Canadian borders

Zanzibar Ham
Mar 17, 2009

You giving me the cold shoulder? How cruel.


Grimey Drawer

Wait wait wait, you can't pick C) Libertarian? This game is just statist propaganda!

Oh well, might as well go Republican then. Personal Responsibility except for me!

Alexeythegreat
Apr 18, 2015

I shall devour your soul.


Grimey Drawer

I'll piss against the wind and vote Democrats.

I don't know the difference anyway, the political culture of my country has many parties that are all the same thing and answer to the same one man.

anilEhilated
Feb 17, 2014

But I say fuck the rain.


Sounds like Geop's DS2 thread has a challenger for potential shitpostery.
Anyway, Democrat, since donkeys are cuter than elephants.

Alexeythegreat
Apr 18, 2015

I shall devour your soul.


Grimey Drawer

Oh, by the way

This thread is going to be fun

ManicVolcanic
Jun 5, 2016


anilEhilated posted:

Anyway, Democrat, since donkeys are cuter than elephants.

Seconded, for much the same reason.

Hitlers Gay Secret
Mar 7, 2010

The Third Reich's under new -- and better -- management.

Hasn't word reached Camp Pendleton yet?


College Slice

Alexeythegreat posted:

I'll piss against the wind and vote Democrats.

I don't know the difference anyway, the political culture of my country has many parties that are all the same thing and answer to the same one man.

It's pretty much the same as it is in Britain. Republicans = Bad, Democrats = Bad

Republican

ricdesi
Mar 18, 2014

Does it really need saying?


INSERT rear end: DEMOCRAT

(This is gonna be great, I can't wait)

Fat Samurai
Feb 16, 2011

To go quickly is foolish. To go slowly is prudent. Not to go; that is wisdom.


IIRC in the last Democracy LP goons abandoned their ideological differences in favour of hunter killer drones to kill political dissidents with, so maybe this won't be a trainwreck, either.

Anyway, rear end

Dinictus
Nov 26, 2005

May our CoX spray white sticky fluid at our enemies forever!
HAIL ARACHNOS!

Soiled Meat

Fat Samurai posted:

IIRC in the last Democracy LP goons abandoned their ideological differences in favour of hunter killer drones to kill political dissidents with, so maybe this won't be a trainwreck, either.

Anyway, rear end

I may need a link to this LP.

Let's roll Republicans

shibbotech
Aug 21, 2014

I'm Doctor Shibbo, and this is Jackass.


Nap Ghost

100% down for Republican (and seconding a pre-emptive strike against the threat to our Northern border).

CirclMastr
Jul 4, 2010

GENERIC CANDY AVATAR #1


Obviously we need to be Republican and run on a platform of corporate ownership and police militarization.


Make Detroit Great Again

WhiskeyWhiskers
Oct 14, 2013

We will no longer surrender this country or its people to the false song of globalism.

Diversity
is Disunity
is Weakness.


I got this avatar for being a giant shithead on ANZAC day.

CirclMastr posted:

Obviously we need to be Republican and run on a platform of corporate ownership and police militarization.


Make Detroit Great Again

I'd buy that for hundreds of millions of dollars in undeclared political donations!

Werewhale
Aug 10, 2013


Republican

NGDBSS
Dec 30, 2009

Torches, to god-damned hell with torches! We have no torches. In fact, we don't need torches. I don't have to show you any stinking torches, you god-damned cabron and chinga tu madre!

Democrat - This decision brought to you by a coin in my wallet.

MercurialOne
Feb 28, 2016


Republican. Because it's time to make America great again and nuke everyone.

Rosemont
Nov 4, 2009


Democrat. Up with burros!

ricdesi
Mar 18, 2014

Does it really need saying?


CirclMastr posted:

Make Detroit Habitable Again

FTFY.

Kemix
Dec 1, 2013
I AM INSUFFERABLE

MY POSTS CONTRIBUTE NOTHING

ALL CAPS WHITE NOISE


please shun this worthless poster


Lets make the Republicans great again! Then build a wall in front of Mexico.

klafbang
Nov 18, 2009


Clapping Larry

If we're not Republicans then what's the entire point?

Junior G-man
Sep 15, 2004

Bawk Bawk THERAPY CRANES Baaawk!




Republican because I want to see what it's like to hate all women and minorities.

Usual Barb
Aug 27, 2005

pop it and lock it

We should turn the Democrats into the Democrats

FELD1
Nov 4, 2009


Republicans

Militarized corporate platform if possible. Otherwise, jumping on the "gently caress Canada" bandwagon.

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It is time for your viscera to see the light of day!

Democrat, why not?

my dad
Oct 17, 2012

this shall be humorous


The best Republican, Abe Lincoln.

StoneOfShame
Jul 28, 2013

This is the best kitchen ever.


Everything I know about American politics comes from Veep which I assume makes me an expert, I say we must go Republican and make sure America remains the king country of the world.

DivineCoffeeBinge
Mar 3, 2011

Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company


Democrats just to see if any of the genuine Trumpistas that might be sneaking about will flip their poo poo over it

Waffleman_
Jan 20, 2011

I am now all animes


Either run as a Democrat with a Republican policy or a Republican with a Democrat policy.

The T
May 29, 2010

A sufficiently chaotic system is maximally fair.



I think having a poll to decide which party we play as goes against everything American Democracy stands for. We need to first elect Delegates; and then we tell them what we want and they have a 65% chance of doing the opposite. Only then will the poll be fair.

Sigh. Democrat.

Herr Tog
Jun 18, 2011



shibbotech posted:

100% down for Republican (and seconding a pre-emptive strike against the threat to our Northern border).

Waffleman_ posted:

Either run as a Democrat with a Republican policy or a Republican with a Democrat policy.

The T posted:

I think having a poll to decide which party we play as goes against everything American Democracy stands for. We need to first elect Delegates; and then we tell them what we want and they have a 65% chance of doing the opposite. Only then will the poll be fair.

Sigh. Democrat.

These are some really strong arguments. Question: can we have a platform of pacifying and securing our northern border?

Waffleman_
Jan 20, 2011

I am now all animes


The T posted:

I think having a poll to decide which party we play as goes against everything American Democracy stands for. We need to first elect Delegates; and then we tell them what we want and they have a 65% chance of doing the opposite. Only then will the poll be fair.

Sigh. Democrat.

You're right. I change my vote to John Ewards

Carlosologist
Oct 13, 2013

Revelry in the Dark


we need strong policy but will get none of it

Democrat

TheDarkFlame
May 4, 2013

You tell me I didn't build that?

I'll have you know I worked my fingers to the bone to get where I am today.


I'm calling it for the Democrats. Because if the UK is falling apart and collapsing to the right, America should at least lean left to compensate.

Alternatively, I'm all for taking to the other side if there any completely off-the-wall candidates we can run as. Obviously we could be Bernie, or Romney, or probably Ron Paul, or any number of actual American politicians, but could we run as, say Boris Johnson? Arnold Schwarzenegger? Elon Musk? Barack Obama But This Time A Republican?

Slaan
Mar 16, 2009

Why, yes,
I will poke your Gushing Spring Point!


Pillbug

Lets go Republican so we can go maximum Ron Paul and ensure every White American has a gun and purestrain gold in their homes.

Viola the Mad
Feb 13, 2010


Democrat, just to be contrary.

Gamerman386
Oct 30, 2012

I'm certainly glad to have found Vilkacis lying in that field.


Republican, cause eliphants are cooler than donkeys.

Horsebanger
Jun 25, 2009



(Republican)

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GeneX
Sep 29, 2014

Pathetic.
Awful Games Done Quick 2018 Survivor



Byron (Low Tax) Looper was a Republican, and I hope the goon collective can agree that we must follow his lead.

That is, assassinate our opposition, personally, brag about it to a marine recruiter, and try to win election on the grounds that we're the only candidate remaining.

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