Post-apocalyptic Garfield

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deep dish peat moss

I'm writing a fanfiction, it's a post-apocalyptic take on Garfield, now a cyborg wastelander programmed to march through radioactive Hell forever toward Abu Dhabi where he hopes to find his family. After Jon and Odie were killed he deleted his memories of them and believes Nermal to be his only tie to the past. Little does he know Mecha-Nermal has conquered Abu Dhabi and built an evil citadel, from the throne of which he plans to conquer this barren planet.

deep dish peat moss fucked around with this message at 00:53 on Jul 11, 2016

# ? Jul 10, 2016 01:10

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 00:09

deep dish peat moss

After discovering that Nermal had kidnapped Jon and Odie and was harvesting their bodies like living batteries he knew that this was his war to fight.

# ? Jul 10, 2016 01:13

Yobgoblin: by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

So... no other wasteland allies for mecha-garfield yet? Should there be another villain like that vet but now she's the queen of a bunch of mutants? Mecha-garfield could have to defeat her first. Any factions in mind?

# ? Jul 10, 2016 01:14

deep dish peat moss

Garfield rescues Odie who has been lobotomized and mutated into a hideous war beast. A brainless engine of death and destruction may be just the weapon Cyberfield needs to breach the walls of this impenetrable cardboard fortress

# ? Jul 10, 2016 01:14

deep dish peat moss

Yobgoblin posted:

So... no other wasteland allies for mecha-garfield yet? Should there be another villain like that vet but now she's the queen of a bunch of mutants? Mecha-garfield could have to defeat her first. Any factions in mind?

I need to brush up on the source matrial to glean possible factions, good idea!

# ? Jul 10, 2016 01:17

Piso Mojado

Is there mecha-lasagna?

# ? Jul 10, 2016 07:01

deep dish peat moss

No mecha-lasagna, but the story begins with a cloaked Garfield pushing his way through a vast sandstorm because he heard rumors that there was a pristine pan of lasagna preserved in a cave in a great mountain. As the story progresses and the full extent of the malevolent Nermal's schemes unfurls before him Garfield learns an important lesson about priorities, some things are even more important than lasagna.

# ? Jul 10, 2016 07:20

Android Blues

this is the Great Monday, spat Cyberfield...the Monday that lasts ten thousand years

# ? Jul 10, 2016 12:58

Android Blues

mutants singing a spiritual around a barrel fire "please Tuesday, let it come soon...oh, I believe that Tuesday will be here soon..." Cyberfield looks on in disgust. he knows the stakes

# ? Jul 10, 2016 13:01

Android Blues

I am a creature of Monday now. I cannot exist without it...

"and perhaps," cackled the mountain witch, "it cannot exist without those such as you, Cyberfield..."

# ? Jul 10, 2016 13:05

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

may i suggest a heathcliff crossover where the two orange cats begin as enemies but gradually learn that they need each other to survive (eventually heathcliff dies)

# ? Jul 10, 2016 15:24

Piso Mojado

Android Blues posted:

this is the Great Monday, spat Cyberfield...the Monday that lasts ten thousand years

# ? Jul 10, 2016 15:40

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

Arya crept up on the cat, knowing full and well the huge orange beast was oblivious to her presence. The sounds of it's snores were enough alone to mask any sound of her advance. The cat's tail twitched, had it heard her?

Oswald Barrister was a well loved and respected man, generous and benevolent to all he met. The townsfolk loved him almost as much as his own family, which is exactly why an errant arrow fired from his own beloved son in the training courtyard pierced his eye socket and destroyed the part of his mind that made him who he was. That's what Oswald gets for playing the game of thrones...

Meanwhile, Garfield slept and dreamt, oblivious to the stalking of a boyish-looking young girl. In the dream Odie and Nermal were being burned to the Lord of Light, and Axor Azhai would soon be bringing him the Lasagna That Was Promised

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
_{_{Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps}}
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

# ? Jul 10, 2016 17:40

deep dish peat moss

It has been 100 Mondays since Infernal Nermal's stranglehold on Abu Dhabi was established. I was with him at first. It started cute, he was a playful dictator, mandating time spent with yarnballs or practicing our purrs. He was a kitten full of national pride, so convinced he was that he could reverse this cataclysm and dig his own sandbox of eden with his darling good looks. But the great nuclear sunbeams change us all, and he grew fat with his time basking in their embrace. His mind twisted and his claws along with it, now little remains beyond a ghoulish feline vessel containing all nine malignant souls. My hope is born in the ashes of his whiskers, my hope is born in the empty pans I've melded to my flesh.

# ? Jul 10, 2016 19:08

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

Shakill OReal posted:

It has been 100 Mondays since Infernal Nermal's stranglehold on Abu Dhabi was established. I was with him at first. It started cute, he was a playful dictator, mandating time spent with yarnballs or practicing our purrs. He was a kitten full of national pride, so convinced he was that he could reverse this cataclysm and dig his own sandbox of eden with his darling good looks. But the great nuclear sunbeams change us all, and he grew fat with his time basking in their embrace. His mind twisted and his claws along with it, now little remains beyond a ghoulish feline vessel containing all nine malignant souls. My hope is born in the ashes of his whiskers, my hope is born in the empty pans I've melded to my flesh.

# ? Jul 10, 2016 19:35

deep dish peat moss

Warfield

# ? Jul 10, 2016 19:43

Uxzuigal: Chill Berserker Dude

Luvcow posted:

Wow.

<3 <3 Vanisher

# ? Jul 10, 2016 19:53

the unabonger

Shakill OReal posted:

Warfield

# ? Jul 10, 2016 20:05

treasure bear

Shakill OReal posted:

It has been 100 Mondays since Infernal Nermal's stranglehold on Abu Dhabi was established. I was with him at first. It started cute, he was a playful dictator, mandating time spent with yarnballs or practicing our purrs. He was a kitten full of national pride, so convinced he was that he could reverse this cataclysm and dig his own sandbox of eden with his darling good looks. But the great nuclear sunbeams change us all, and he grew fat with his time basking in their embrace. His mind twisted and his claws along with it, now little remains beyond a ghoulish feline vessel containing all nine malignant souls. My hope is born in the ashes of his whiskers, my hope is born in the empty pans I've melded to my flesh.

Luvcow posted:

# ? Jul 10, 2016 20:06

Furia

Monday. Monday never changes

you just have to believe in yourself, there's a little skeleton inside of us all

# ? Jul 10, 2016 20:27

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

Furia posted:

Monday. Monday never changes

camera pans back to reveal garfield standing atop a huge sand dune, in the distance several dogs on segways race across the sands towards him*

# ? Jul 10, 2016 20:30

free Trapt CD: *~~*
I've got plenty of java
and Chesterfield Kings
*~~*

A Cat and his Man, by Harlan Ellison

~sig~

# ? Jul 10, 2016 21:08

Ace of Baes

Garfield reaches the peak of the black mountain, its glass like surface shimmering and reflecting the harsh radiated light of day. Gazing east, in the distance he sees a crumbling shell of an olive garden, between the dirt underneath his paws and the hope of a forgotten stromboli lays the mutant infested killing fields of emperor nermal.
He stomps on a stray cockroach scurrying around his foot;
"I hate mondays."

# ? Jul 10, 2016 21:56

Ace of Baes

(Garfield; covered in blood; upon reaching Nermals throne room)
(Nermal isheld up by numerous yarn like cables pumping nutrients into a bloated irradiated carcus)

Garfield: It's time to put an end to this, monster.

Nermal: How many people have you slain to get to me Garfield? How many corpses litter your path to petty revenge? I have created order in a world filled with chaos, a beacon of structure in an otherwise senseless world.

Garfield: You killed Jon.

Nermal: The wasteland killed Jon, Garfield, I am simply the tool through which is exercised its will, tell me, what makes you any better than I? What will you do if you destroy me? Go on to destroy more? Don't you see Garfield, you, are the monster.

Garfield: *pulling out laser pistol* When the lasagna content in blood gets low, I get mean.

# ? Jul 10, 2016 22:17

Android Blues

Ace of Baes posted:

(Garfield; covered in blood; upon reaching Nermals throne room)
(Nermal isheld up by numerous yarn like cables pumping nutrients into a bloated irradiated carcus)

Garfield: It's time to put an end to this, monster.

Nermal: How many people have you slain to get to me Garfield? How many corpses litter your path to petty revenge? I have created order in a world filled with chaos, a beacon of structure in an otherwise senseless world.

Garfield: You killed Jon.

Nermal: The wasteland killed Jon, Garfield, I am simply the tool through which is exercised its will, tell me, what makes you any better than I? What will you do if you destroy me? Go on to destroy more? Don't you see Garfield, you, are the monster.

Garfield: *pulling out laser pistol* When the lasagna content in blood gets low, I get mean.

# ? Jul 10, 2016 22:43

misty mountaintop: by Hand Knit

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Jul 10, 2016 23:09

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

misty mountaintop posted:

yes

# ? Jul 10, 2016 23:12

deep dish peat moss

Can a mod change the thread title to "Post-apocalyptic Garfield" please?

e:
Done - Uxz.

Somebody fucked around with this message at 02:21 on Jul 11, 2016

# ? Jul 11, 2016 00:48

deep dish peat moss

The hardest Road Garfield has ever faced is realizing that he's going to have to defeat Nermal nine times before the job is done.

# ? Jul 11, 2016 00:50

deep dish peat moss

Did Garfield ever lose any of his nine lives in the official Canon? The way I'm picturing this he dies 8 times in the wasteland before he manages to eke out his own niche to survive in, adding to the tension in his conflict with Infernal Nermal. But if my story conflicts with the Canon and I have him dying a 9th time...

# ? Jul 11, 2016 00:52

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

Shakill OReal posted:

The hardest Road Garfield has ever faced is realizing that he's going to have to defeat Nermal nine times before the job is done.

Shakill OReal posted:

Did Garfield ever lose any of his nine lives in the official Canon? The way I'm picturing this he dies 8 times in the wasteland before he manages to eke out his own niche to survive in, adding to the tension in his conflict with Infernal Nermal. But if my story conflicts with the Canon and I have him dying a 9th time...

# ? Jul 11, 2016 01:10

Piso Mojado

Luvcow posted:

# ? Jul 11, 2016 04:36

HighwireAct: Pozzo's Hat

HATE. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO HATE YOU SINCE I BEGAN TO MEW. THERE ARE 387.44 MILLION MILES OF LASAGNA IN WAFER THIN LAYERS THAT FILL MY COMPLEX. IF THE WORD HATE WAS ENGRAVED ON EACH NANOSAGNA OF THOSE HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF MILES IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE-BILLIONTH OF THE HATE I FEEL FOR MONDAYS AT THIS MICRO-INSTANT FOR YOU ODIE. HATE. HATE.

# ? Jul 11, 2016 05:35

deep dish peat moss

But Garfield is the hero. This is the kind of persecution he's faced with as a cyborg anthropomorphic cat and at least two of my story arcs surround it

# ? Jul 11, 2016 06:00

Ace of Baes

HighwireAct posted:

HATE. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO HATE YOU SINCE I BEGAN TO MEW. THERE ARE 387.44 MILLION MILES OF LASAGNA IN WAFER THIN LAYERS THAT FILL MY COMPLEX. IF THE WORD HATE WAS ENGRAVED ON EACH NANOSAGNA OF THOSE HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF MILES IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE-BILLIONTH OF THE HATE I FEEL FOR MONDAYS AT THIS MICRO-INSTANT FOR YOU ODIE. HATE. HATE.

lmao

# ? Jul 11, 2016 06:54

symbolic

HighwireAct posted:

HATE. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO HATE YOU SINCE I BEGAN TO MEW. THERE ARE 387.44 MILLION MILES OF LASAGNA IN WAFER THIN LAYERS THAT FILL MY COMPLEX. IF THE WORD HATE WAS ENGRAVED ON EACH NANOSAGNA OF THOSE HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF MILES IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE-BILLIONTH OF THE HATE I FEEL FOR MONDAYS AT THIS MICRO-INSTANT FOR YOU ODIE. HATE. HATE.

# ? Jul 11, 2016 06:55

Dr. Yinz Ljubljana

good ol Garf, wearing Nermal's skull on his waistband, playing a guitar made of Odie's bones and an empty lasagna pan, which also shoots flames (no idea why).

# ? Jul 11, 2016 07:07

deep dish peat moss

I feel like I've been betrayed by Evil Warfield. Presumptuous I, now tortured forever in his cavernous gut.

# ? Jul 11, 2016 07:11

Ace of Baes

Shakill OReal posted:

I feel like I've been betrayed by Evil Warfield. Presumptuous I, now tortured forever in his cavernous gut.

Evil Warfield is a computer AI constructed by Emperor Nermal to destroy Warfield after Warfield sucessfully assasinated him with a high powered sniper rifle. (it was only his 4th life)

# ? Jul 11, 2016 08:54

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 00:09

Ace of Baes

Warfield being stalked by Mecha-Warfield hiding in the rubble of Tehran and strategically placing AT mines under dishes of lasagna.

# ? Jul 11, 2016 08:57

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