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Puckish Rogue
Jun 24, 2010



VagueRant posted:

I strongly feel that DC is a roider/doper too. I think if he was clean, he would've verbally HAMMERED Jones for this. But between his complete silence on the matter and his immediate desire to fight him anyway really had me wondering.

Dude still seems like a nice guy and I respect that he agreed to fight anyone and everyone, but yeah. Like Nate says.

that's some crazy logic. i mean aside form the general consensus that "you a pro athlete? you're doping" Cormier isn't really the verbal hammering type and he'd not need to chastise jon. Nothing DC says can ever top the damage jones does to himself, constantly and hilariously. DC just needs to sit there looking smug as gently caress whilst jon meditates peacefully in a public park as a stripper prepares train tracks of coke for him.

also for Gomi fights there is only one fight needed, a showcase of PRIDE's rules and the literal murder of a Gracie family member:

https://www.ufc.tv/video/takanori-g...pride-bushido-3

there's probably free versions floating around too but I have work to do drat it

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Josuke Higashikata
Mar 7, 2013

No need to apologise when I am right, like usual.





DC isn't the kind of person who really gets aggressive or cocky about things so there's no reason to believe anything based on him not sticking the knife in. Him lashing out at Cerrone yesterday on the MMA Hour is possibly the most aggressive I've seen him be about a fighter in public. I don't recall him every saying much like that about Jones.

empty whippet box
Jun 9, 2004
A perfectly acceptable Southern gentleman


I took his lashing out as him expressing that frustration in a safe space at someone who deserves it in both his and the public's eyes. I seriously doubt he'd have so much to say about it if the comment wasn't coming after a huge personal loss for him both monetarily and every other way. Cerrone really hosed up coming out with that right now, if he ever wanted to have a better contract with more media exposure, that wasn't the way to do it, especially the same day the company was sold. I didn't realize he was a redneck rear end in a top hat until that moment because I just hadn't thought about it. My only exposure to him before that was him going all in on some fights and getting the dog poo poo beaten out of him by Nate Diaz, which wasn't a terrible look or anything, but this drama is. It's the second time, so it's not like I believe that he actually gives a poo poo or repented.

I hope Rick Story beats his rear end.

Ty1990
Apr 22, 2011



xcore posted:

Agreed. Those wedding photos were Top 5 on the "Hardest I've Ever Laughed" list of things of seen on SA.

Every couple of months I go back and read this (archives)

http://forums.somethingawful.com/sh...40&pagenumber=1

CRISPYBABY
Dec 15, 2007

*~ayoo comin thru~*


VagueRant posted:

I strongly feel that DC is a roider/doper too. I think if he was clean, he would've verbally HAMMERED Jones for this. But between his complete silence on the matter and his immediate desire to fight him anyway really had me wondering.

Dude still seems like a nice guy and I respect that he agreed to fight anyone and everyone, but yeah. Like Nate says.

Or he just doesn't feel like talking/is tired of it???? It's not like he hasn't called him out in the past on it. He's not a great talker but his *i'm in awe of the ridiculousness of Jon Jones ability to be a two faced garbage human person* face is practically a meme around here, some dude has it as his avatar.

Street Horrrsing
Mar 24, 2010

Godwalker of The Grateful Prisoner


When jon tested positive for coke, the NSAC released the medical results for both Jones and DC, where it turned out both of them had the testosterone levels of prepubescent boys. Was that fishy or not? I honestly don't know.

fatherdog
Feb 16, 2005

by Lowtax


Street Horrrsing posted:

When jon tested positive for coke, the NSAC released the medical results for both Jones and DC, where it turned out both of them had the testosterone levels of prepubescent boys. Was that fishy or not? I honestly don't know.

Nope.

Eat Bum Zen
Jul 19, 2013

*mumbles*
Rated T for Teen


VagueRant posted:

I strongly feel that DC is a roider/doper too. I think if he was clean, he would've verbally HAMMERED Jones for this. But between his complete silence on the matter and his immediate desire to fight him anyway really had me wondering.

Dude still seems like a nice guy and I respect that he agreed to fight anyone and everyone, but yeah. Like Nate says.

so why hasn't he popped

Eat This Glob
Jan 14, 2008

hurry up with my damn croissants


Lipstick Apathy

I'd be remiss if I didn't emphasize that bluedeanie isn't joking when he's saying things like "hockey goon Steve Bosse" and "literal coke and steroid dealer dad" among other things. MMA has some interesting back stories.

Bluedeanie
Jul 20, 2008

It's no longer a blue world, Max. Where could we go?



Eat This Glob posted:

I'd be remiss if I didn't emphasize that bluedeanie isn't joking when he's saying things like "hockey goon Steve Bosse" and "literal coke and steroid dealer dad" among other things. MMA has some interesting back stories.

There's very, very little embellishment at any point in what I've written for this thread tbh.

I still plan on doing an FAQ at the top of the thread, but A. The GDT for tomorrow's Fight Night is the priority right now, and B. Most of this thread is regulars chatting and I was hoping new people would be discussing and informing what should be in said FAQ.

Dangersim posted:

I don't disagree but if people don't really ask questions we don't know what you want to know.

So please ask questions. don't feel bad about asking a dumb question, we're all dumb anyway

Xtanstic
Nov 22, 2007

I SUPPORT ALL THE PREDATORS


Finally got a chance to read the OP. Excellent posts Bluedeanie. I'm a casual MMA fan that got hooked by catching UFC 100 and then devouring all of GSP's fights. I pop in and out of the threads depending on if a cool fighter I like is fighting. I learn a lot from PSP effortposts and occasionally your in-jokes leads me to discovering cool fighters (Magny) so thanks for the thread.

spinst
Jul 14, 2012




Tell me about Joanna Jedrzejczyk

handsome only face
Apr 22, 2010

Cockroach went out of the room in anger. And roach's go to empty room...

Cockroache's Anarchist




spinst posted:

Tell me about Joanna Jedrzejczyk

what you see is what you get







Dan Didio
Apr 6, 2009

OMG!! WeareSOawesome!!



spinst posted:

Tell me about Joanna Jedrzejczyk

She's Chuck Lidell, except she's talking like that because she's foreign, not because of extensive brain damage.

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002


all you need to know about joanna is that once upon a time, there was a young pat barry victim who was definitely going to be the next champion, with coleman-like certainty. however, that young woman was beaten badly by someone named i don't remember. in turn, joanna beat her to the extent that she looked scared, hopeless, and utterly, utterly outclassed. it was essentially like after the long run up to steph curry's impending coronation, during the final game the monsters from space jam crashed through the ceiling and actually physically shat on every player on the court.

handsome only face
Apr 22, 2010

Cockroach went out of the room in anger. And roach's go to empty room...

Cockroache's Anarchist




it was the Cookie monster

Eat This Glob
Jan 14, 2008

hurry up with my damn croissants


Lipstick Apathy

spinst posted:

Tell me about Joanna Jedrzejczyk

I'm not as good as bluedeanie at this sort of stuff, but I'll put a bit of effort into this because she's awesome. Joanna Jedrzejczyk, who is from Poland, doesn't mind the fact that you and I cannot pronounce her last name. You can just call her Joanna Champion. Joanna Champion was signed to the UFC Women's Strawweight Division, which is 115 pounds (or 52 kg) in 2014. It's the smallest weight division for either sex in the promotion.

The UFC held a season of TUF explicitly to introduce the division, with the gimmick that the TUF winner would be crowned UFC champion. Carla Esparza, a tiny (but effective) double leg spamming wrestler defeated goon favorite "Thug" Rose Namajunas (for her work in Invicta, and because of her association with her boyfriend, heavyweight funnyman Pat Barry) in the finale to win the title via super boring wrestlefucking. Note that JJ did not participate in that season of TUF for whatever reason.

Esparza's first title defense was against Joanna Champion nee Jedrzejczyk. The Muay Thai specialist used range, size, and power to brutalize the 5'1" one trick pony. It was ugly. Ugly. Esparza threw 4 strikes in the 1+ rounds they fought and the soon to be Champion treated her like a punching bag. JJ won via TKO in the second round of their fight which was her third bout with the promotion.

In her first fight, Joanna decisioned Juliana Lima. I saw the fight but cannot recall it. It took place on a card headlined by Robbie "loving" Lawler and Matt "The Immortal" Brown, so you're goddamned right I watched it. In her next fight, she took on Claudia Gadelha and took home a split decision win. Everybody who doesn't have a donkey brain scored it for Joanna. So, with a "controversial" ending, the UFC set up a rematch after JJ took out a pair of opponents in the interim. Both Joanna and Gadelha coached opposite each other in the latest season of TUF. Whether it be editing or whatnot, Joanna came across as kinda mean and Claudia kinda chill.

The two rematched last week. Joanna, undefeated, and Claudia, who's lone loss was to Jedrzejczyk. Claudia got off to a fast start and dropped Joanna in the first round. The champ used good scrambles, conditioning, and kickboxing to overwhelm the challenger in the later rounds to score a unanimous decision, and hold her belt.

I used a lot of words to say basically what Duncan said, but there you go.

TheUltimateDoofus
May 21, 2016


Sometimes she's sweet,




Sometimes she's brutal,








But she'll always be My Champion

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"


Joanna Champion
Joanna Violence
Joanna Velociraptor



Joanna Image-macro

Memento
Aug 25, 2009






Man, Esparza got chopped to pieces in that fight. JJ was connecting with constant straight hands and on the rare occasion Esparza remembered she could move her head, JJ just turned it into a slicing elbow instead. Even though there hadn't really been a strong enough shot to knock Esparza loopy, the ref (rightly) called it off as there was basically nothing else she could do. It kind of showed the shallowness of the division at that point to me in that the then-champion was utterly one-dimensional. JJ has good takedown defense and as soon as that was taken away from Esparza she had nothing.

Joanna signed directly with the UFC in July 2014, and the women's 115 season of TUF was later that year. I'm pretty sure they knew that they had someone on their hands who would be able to win that season easily, so they didn't include her on it so that they could set her up as a contender pending the Gadelha fight. Gadelha was also supposed to go into that season of TUF but they signed her directly instead as well,

The first fight between them was a lot closer than the one on the weekend, which to me demonstrates the absolute conditioning difference between the two. The first fight was only three rounds and was fairly close. In this fight, Gadelha was getting her down with reasonable ease in the first two rounds but she gassed out completely and looked like she was trying to punch underwater, especially in the fourth round, when JJ really opened up and put Gadelha through the wringer. Had it only gone three rounds, Gadelha would have won fairly handily as 29-28, whereas with the extra rounds she lost 48-46, with one of the judges even scoring it 48-45 (9-10, 9-10, 10-9, 10-8, 10-8). Round four was definitely a 10-8 round to Gadelha but I wasn't truly convinced about round five; Gadelha at least tried to get into the action in that round and make some attacks.

Schenck v. U.S.
Sep 8, 2010


Eat This Glob posted:

Note that JJ did not participate in that season of TUF for whatever reason.

IIRC they only wanted English-speaking fighters and she hadn't got very far with her language lessons at that point

Dangersim
Sep 4, 2011

He expended too much energy and got tired

I'M NOT SURPRISED MOTHERFUCKERS


Triticum Guzzler posted:

all you need to know about joanna is that once upon a time, there was a young pat barry victim who was definitely going to be the next champion, with coleman-like certainty. however, that young woman was beaten badly by someone named i don't remember. in turn, joanna beat her to the extent that she looked scared, hopeless, and utterly, utterly outclassed. it was essentially like after the long run up to steph curry's impending coronation, during the final game the monsters from space jam crashed through the ceiling and actually physically shat on every player on the court.

Sub out the monstars for lebron and thats pretty much what happened tbh

kimbo305
Jun 9, 2007

He is I, and I am him


Joanna was widely liked for being goofy and generally cool outside of the cage. Stuff like this:
https://www.instagram.com/p/_3qxraICPY/

But some people were turned off by how she came off on TUF, whether it was really biased by editing or by the situation. She was really aggressive and confrontational with Claudia, including this:
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x47ilox

Sometimes, the fight overshadows stuff outside the ring, and sometimes, the other way around.

Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005



Neither Joanna nor Claudia were on TUF because they couldn't make weight for the entire show as well, iirc.

She has just destroyed her competition since the title fight.

spinst
Jul 14, 2012




Thanks guys. I want to be like Joanna when I grow up.

Bluedeanie
Jul 20, 2008

It's no longer a blue world, Max. Where could we go?



My main reason for not being 100% behind Joanna is she eye gouges a lot in pretty much all of her fights. Jon Jones is incredibly guilty of this as well, but the difference is Jones is lovely in every other conceivable way too.

...and the pitch!
Jul 13, 2007



spinst posted:

Thanks guys. I want to be like Joanna when I grow up.

She is cold blooded in the cage

eshock
Sep 2, 2004


Joanna was just being a good friend in the Penne fight. Penne had been talking before the fight about how she had always wanted a nosejob and Joanna just helped her get rid of the old one.

vainman
Nov 2, 2012

I find your lack of faith... disturbing

spinst posted:

Tell me about Joanna Jedrzejczyk

Womens mma has been hit or miss for the last few years with the vast majority of fighters unable to afford good training or unable to get it because of other reasons. They also, generally speaking, don't hit hard and that makes them tough to market. As little opportunity as there is in amateur mma, there's far less in women's mma.

JJ is the first woman at her weight class to break that trend. She was an incredibly decorated kickboxer and has the cardio and training to put a beating on women who aren't at her level, and the money she makes will widen that gap as she pays for better training

However, the gap has been closing in that regard. Leterneou did surprisingly well in thir fight and gadhela did very well. Ideally that division will be competitive in two or three years but who knows? W135 hasn't taken off in talent yet

vainman
Nov 2, 2012

I find your lack of faith... disturbing

Watch JJ if you're interested in seeing a fight with a wide striking gap, is the short version

handsome only face
Apr 22, 2010

Cockroach went out of the room in anger. And roach's go to empty room...

Cockroache's Anarchist




https://twitter.com/MJCflipdascript...246229648191488
https://twitter.com/MJCflipdascript...246474498998272
https://twitter.com/MJCflipdascript...246609400483841

Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005



Seriously go watch Joanna just destroy Esparza

https://www.ufc.tv/video/joanna-jed...parza-ufc-185-1

Esparza did not fight again for over a year after that beatdown.

Dangersim
Sep 4, 2011

He expended too much energy and got tired

I'M NOT SURPRISED MOTHERFUCKERS


That's impressive but I think not looking at her level of competition is being dishonest

Schenck v. U.S.
Sep 8, 2010


Dangersim posted:

That's impressive but I think not looking at her level of competition is being dishonest

Right, a lot of her accuracy and volume result from her opponents being unable to threaten her with their own offense, and being very hittable because they don't know how to move or defend strikes. Weakness in their cardio training is probably the single biggest factor, though, because she really unloads and lands at will when her opponents begin to slow down. She's absolutely a talented striker but in more equal fights she'd be less productive and less accurate. Imagine what kind of numbers Condit could post if he was looking at a similar skill gap.

CRISPYBABY
Dec 15, 2007

*~ayoo comin thru~*


Joanna beating Penne is up there with Velasquez-Bigfoot and Miller-Lauzon in one of the most violent one-sided beatdowns in the company history. You feel a little guilty watching matches like that where someone so obviously has nothing for the opponent and is just getting brutalized, but I'll be damned if it ain't mesmerising.

CRISPYBABY fucked around with this message at Jul 14, 2016 around 03:22

Lloyd Boner
Oct 11, 2009

Yes officer, my name is Victoria Sonnen...berg

attackmole posted:

Joanna beating Penne is up there with Velasquez-Browne and Miller-Lauzon in one of the most violent one-sided beatdowns in the company history. You feel a little guilty matching matches like that where someone so obviously has nothing for the opponent and is just getting brutalized, but I'll be damned if it ain't mesmerising.

Absolutely no one should feel guilty about watching Velasquez-Browne

CRISPYBABY
Dec 15, 2007

*~ayoo comin thru~*


e: meant velasquez bigfoot

Velasquez Browne was also cool, but I watched Velasquez Bigfoot with several people who hadn't watched MMA before and they were pretty sure someone was gonna die in the ring.


There was a moment in that fight where Bigfoot was completely covered in blood, and then they brought the doctor in to check it out and we were like "oh thank god he's stopping it"....and then he waved for it to continue and we all started screaming NO NO NO at the TV.

e2: I also just remembered those guys fought twice for some inexplicable reason. The first one is the memorable one.

CRISPYBABY fucked around with this message at Jul 14, 2016 around 03:24

Lloyd Boner
Oct 11, 2009

Yes officer, my name is Victoria Sonnen...berg

Oh yeah, that one was loving brutal

Memento
Aug 25, 2009





Lloyd Boner posted:

Absolutely no one should feel guilty about watching Velasquez-Browne

For background on this for the newer readers: Travis Browne is one of the shamefully large pantheon of professional MMA fighters who are utter garbage human beings. He's actually on the lower end, in that he was accused of domestic violence by his wife but nothing ever really came from it. He definitely did leave his wife (and their kids) to get together with Ronda Rousey.

Other notables are Anthony "Rumble" Johnson, who at last count has three separate accusations of domestic violence against him from three different women. Jonathan Paul "War Machine" Koppenhaver, winner of The Ultimate Fighter season 6 (and competitor of not much else of note, especially in the UFC) had a storied history of misdemeanor and felony assaults that culminated in him attempting to beat his then-girlfriend Christy Mack and a friend of hers to death. Christy ended up with, among other things, a ruptured liver and 18 broken bones. He also attempted to surprise sex her at that time. He's in jail right now on an unrelated probation violation, awaiting trial for the assaults. He has such wonderful things such as this to say on his blog:

War Machine posted:

The oppression of MEN is worse than oppression of Jews in Nazi germany, worse than the slavery of Blacks in early America I'm not exaggerating either

The pinnacle of this mountain of turds is Joe Son, who competed in UFC 4 and had his groin punched apart by Keith Hackney, going on to amass a 0-4 record fighting with his own personal martial arts style of "Joe Son Do".

Joe is currently serving life imprisonment for surprise sex, torture and kidnapping dating from a 1990 incident that only came to light when he was convicted of felony vandalism in 2008 and he was forced to give up a DNA sample. For those crimes, he was sentenced to 17 years, later increased to life. After going to prison, he beat a fellow inmate to death, and is currently awaiting trial for that.

Every sport has its share of terrifyingly lovely individuals, and MMA is no exception.

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Eat This Glob
Jan 14, 2008

hurry up with my damn croissants


Lipstick Apathy


Joe Son would be known better by non mma followers as "random task" in the Austin Powers movies, fyi

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