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MysteryNad
Dec 5, 2003

Here in my guard
I feel safest of all
I can lock up my guard
It's the only way to fight
In guard
Tito wasn't on great terms with the UFC but I think he left on his own terms after the Machida fight. Only problem was his UFC contract forbade him from fighting in another promotion for a year and he was planning on going to EliteXC or Affliction I don't remember which but it didn't matter cause they both died during that time. He eventually gave in and begged Dana for his job back which led to him losing to Forrest and giving the famous "cracked skull" excuse.

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Eat Bum Zen
Jul 19, 2013

*mumbles*
Rated T for Teen

MysteryNad posted:

Tito wasn't on great terms with the UFC but I think he left on his own terms after the Machida fight. Only problem was his UFC contract forbade him from fighting in another promotion for a year and he was planning on going to EliteXC or Affliction I don't remember which but it didn't matter cause they both died during that time. He eventually gave in and begged Dana for his job back which led to him losing to Forrest and giving the famous "cracked skull" excuse.

Lmao I did not know about his cracked skull!

Lord Waffle Beard
Dec 7, 2013
Conor mcgregor will be fun

Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005

c-spam cannot afford



Tezcatlipoca posted:

The only time Dana White has given his own money to a fighter was when Machida beat Tito. They cut Tito after that fight (I think) and Dana cut a check for $50,000.

He said he gave Brian Ebersole a $75k bonus at the UFC 133 post fight presser for finishing Dennis Hallman early and getting his speedo out of the octagon.

Michael Transactions
Nov 11, 2013

What does it mean to check a kick?

Tezcatlipoca
Sep 18, 2009

tumor looking batty posted:

What does it mean to check a kick?

Look up Anderson Silva vs Chris Weidman II.

fatherdog
Feb 16, 2005

tumor looking batty posted:

What does it mean to check a kick?

Blocking with your shin. There's more technique involved than it looks like.

Marching Powder
Mar 8, 2008



stop the fucking fight, cornerman, your dude is fucking done and is about to be killed.

fatherdog posted:

Blocking with your shin.

by doing this, it will hurt them as much as it hurts you and the kick is no longer considered a scoring strike

Bluedeanie
Jul 20, 2008

It's no longer a blue world, Max. Where could we go?



What, a SPECIAL UFC 203 UPDATE POST?!?!?!


Stipe Miocic def. Alistair Overeem, KO (R1)

Who are these guys?
Stipe Miocic is the Undisputed Heavyweight Champion of the World, a title he earned by KOing Fabricio Werdum on his back foot at UFC 198 in May. He broke the Cleveland Curse (although the media will tell you the Cavs did this shortly thereafter.) If you’re wondering why he has a funny name, he’s a first-generation Croatian American so his folks brought his name over from the Old Country. He’s also a firefighter/EMT in suburban Cleveland, and all around seems like a very cool and likeable guy. He was undefeated entering the UFC, and though he’s lost a few times since then, he has proven himself to be extremely well rounded with good takedowns, impeccable cardio and great, crisp boxing technique.

Alistair Overeem has a loooooong and storied combat sports career. He’s English and Dutch of half-Jamaican descent, and was part of a street gang in his youth along with brother and MMA fighter Valentijn Overeem. (It was here that he earned his signature scar on his cheek from an opponent’s blade.) He had his first kickboxing match at the ripe age of 17, and switched primarily to MMA a few years later after a few KOS. He started out as a light heavyweight before “bulking up and filling out” (moving to Japan and selling his soul to a Steroid Demon) he became one of the biggest heavyweights ever and went on an impressive tear. He quickly established himself to have legitimate world class kickboxing technique, but he also had some incredible flaws: he was chinny, he didn’t deal well with being injured and when the poo poo hit the fan and his cardio was drained, his output dropped to near zero and he pretty clearly wilted mentally. Bouncing back and forth between MMA and kickboxing bouts, he quickly racked up a lot of titles, including the K-1 Kickboxing World Grand Prix championship in 2010, the Strikeforce Heavyweight Championship, the Dream Heavyweight Championship and the ADCC Submission Wrestling World Championship’s 2005 European Trials in his division, just in case you were wondering if his ground game was also any good. He finally came into the UFC in 2011 where he kneed Lesnar’s guts into the Phantom Zone, and he was supposed to fight for the title thereafter, but a series of drug failures and terrible performances waylaid that opportunity until now.

What did this fight mean for the future?

This was definitely the most important fight on the card, even beyond the fact that it was for the title. With a win for Stipe, he is now halfway to being tied with the UFC Heavyweight consecutive title defense record (a whopping two defenses, for which there is currently a four-way tie.) Had Overeem won, the addition of a UFC title would have made him peerless in terms of career decoration at heavyweight in MMA. Stipe also proved he was incredibly durable and could take some hits from an insanely good striker and survive a submission while rocked from a very good submission artist, which is no easy feat — especially for a guy who was knocked out by struggling midcarder Stefan Struve a few years prior. The heavyweight division is a little muddy right now in terms of who undoubtedly deserves the next title fight, since the top 10 is loaded with single-fight win streaks or recent bad losses. While that makes picking the next contender difficult, it does mean that pretty much anyone is never more than a win or two away from a title shot right now. Front-runners include former champ Cain Velasquez, former champ and last man to beat Stipe Junior dos Santos and possibly former champ and elderly grandfather Josh Barnett. People Overeem could fight next who could easily be right back in the mix include Big Ben Rothwell, Fabricio Werdum (this one seems most likely to me tbh) or against all odds, Mark Hunt.

What are some of their best fights?
For Stipe, check out the Werdum fight at UFC 198. The Andrei Arlovski fight at UFC 195 or the severely outmatched Fabio Maldonado fight from the TUF Brazil 3 finale in 2014. While it was an excellent performance of Stipe’s, I cannot in good conscience recommend that you watch the Mark Hunt fight.

For Overeem, check out the Arlovski fight, the Junior dos Santos fight or the Lesnar fight.

I like them. Who are some similar fighters?
Stipe: If you like a great boxer at heavyweight, check out Junior dos Santos. If you like a cardio machine with good wrestling and forward aggression, see Cain Velasquez.

Overeem: See [url= https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_HuntMark Hunt[/url] for high level kickboxing in MMA.


Fabricio Werdum def. Travis Browne, Dec. (Unanimous)

Who are these guys?
Fabricio Werdum is another long-time decorated fighter. An extremely elite jiu jitsu player, Werdum was kicked out of the UFC after a bad KO loss to some unknown Brazilian guy making his debut (who turned out to be champion Junior dos Santos, whoops) and went to Strikeforce from there where he submitted :kingsley: GREATEST OF ALL TIME FEDOR EMELIANENKO :kingsley: and had a rematch with Overeem where instead of submitting him quickly, he sat down on his butt and begged Overeem to hug him repeatedly on his way to a weird decision loss. He came back in the UFC after the Reem fight and won six increasingly impressive fights in a row, eventually becoming the Interim Champ by wrecking Mark Hunt in Mexico City, and unifying the belt by tiring out and wrecking noted workhorse Cain Velasquez in the same city before getting owned by Stipe and the Curse of Senna. The Browne fight — a rematch from their title eliminator in 2014 — was as good a win as any for him to stay relevant, without being too relevant.

Browne had just gotten effortlessly owned by Cain Velasquez at UFC 200 and took this fight on short notice for an injured Ben Rothwell. He should not have been able to call his own time out when he dislocated or broke his finger in the first, and when that happened the ref should have called the fight as an admission that he couldn’t continue. Otherwise, not much has changed about him since UFC 200, so here’s what I wrote about him in the OP.

quote:

Travis Browne is a spastic weirdo who has incredibly unorthodox lovely striking technique, that has worked for him because he is athletically gifted and many heavyweights are bad. He is dating Ronda Rousey, which started when he was still married to a woman who has accused him of domestic violence. I will say he’s very tough, getting the poo poo kicked out of him against Alistair Overeem until rallying and winning by KO, so it is impressive he got put away. He is a bastard man and there is nothing I can write about him that will ever compare to Disgusting Coward’s excellent rant from the April 2014 UFC thread.

Disgusting Coward posted:

I loving know, right? Every morning waking up and realising that you're not one of the good fat fightmen like Hunto or Dos Santos, nor are you one of the likeable entertaining trashweights like Pat Berry or Joey Beltran. No sir, you're four pounds of misfiring motor neurons scraped along the inside of a 230lb Tiki themed turd golem and you're so innately unlikeable that even the notoriously racist PSPMMA will cheer a Brazilian just for hurting you. Every morning the dude probably tries to put the gun in his mouth but accidentally ends up flying crescent kicking it out the window when he gets a fit of The Brownes.

What did this fight mean for the future?
Werdum’s back in the win column, even if the last two rounds were tepid poo poo. He also showed off all his favorite Tekken combos in what was probably my single favorite round of the whole night. As I noted before, heavyweight’s kind of in a weird log jam right now, so that was a pretty critical win for Werdum to have any hope of another title shot in the next few years, especially at his age.

More importantly, it means Travis Browne is on a two-fight losing streak and, I believe, near or at the end of his contract. Hopefully he gets cut or gets re-signed to an incredibly lovely contract so he can get paid $10 to lose to the Black Beast or Roy Nelson.

What are some of their best fights?
For Werdum: For real look up the Velasquez or Browne fights. The Fedor fight was cool too but you might not give a poo poo about it if you have no basis for who Fedor is and why it seemed like a big cathartic deal at the time.

For Browne: Entertaining Travis Browne fights include his fight with Alistair Overeem, former Rousey boo Brendan Schaub and Manbearpig Gabriel Gonzaga.


I like them. Who are some similar fighters?
If you like wily strikers with slick jiu jitsu, they aren’t perfect emulations you might like Joseph Benavidez or Donald Cerrone.

If you wish to see more Travis Browne fights I suggest kicking your alcoholic uncle in the nuts and observing how he flails about.


Mickey Gall def. CM Punk, rear naked choke (R1)

Who are these guys?
You know who CM Punk is.

Mickey Gall is the guy they found to beat him. WE still don’t know much about him other than he was very intelligent in how he called out fellow scrub Sage Northcutt, he trains with the Miller Bros. in New Jersey, he’s got sloppy but powerful striking, he’s got aggressive top control and a good rear-naked, and his gas tank is suspect.

What did this fight mean for the future?
Literally nothing. Although if Gall wins his fight over Sage Northcutt, which is very possible as it’s a classic grappler vs, striker matchup, he very well get matched up with like Rick Story or Albert Tumenov and open up as a favorite, at which point you should bet the house against him.

What are some of their best fights?
This was the best both of these men have ever looked in the Octagon.

I like them. Who are some similar fighters?
For CM Punk: I don’t know who any of these people are anymore. Is Roman Reigns the guy with the bad hair that looks like a greasy skunk? He’s not the Steroid Hulk McMahon archetype so I assume they are pretty similar.

For Gall: You can see some Mickey Galls at your local Z-league MMA show taking place in a strip mall or at a VFW near you. IF you want to see his fighting style in the UFC, check out his coach, the technically superior but less athletically gifted Jim Miller.


Jimmie Rivera def. Urijah Faber, Dec. (Unanimous)

Who are these guys?
Jimmie Rivera has solidified his spot as a huge rising star in a bantamweight division hungry for challengers. The 27-year-old hasn’t lost a pro fight since 2008,and while most of those wins are decisions over unknown b-league scrubs, he’s also now 4-0 in the UFC including a TKO over Marcus Brimage. He looked as good as he ever has, handily winning every round despite some high level cheating.

Urijah Faber was a huge win here. He may be over the hill, but Faber will go down in history as one of the best tiny punchmen ever. Until last year he’d never lost a fight that wasn’t for a title. He had the featherweight belt in the WEC, the UFC’s sister promotion that specialized in smaller-weight fights. By the time Zuffa folded the WEC and absorbed its featherweight and bantamweight rosters to create those divisions in the UFC banner, Faber had already lost his belt to Mike Brown, moved down to bantamweight and failed to capture gold there. Since then he’s had a trilogy with current bantamweight champ Dominick Cruz and was generally pretty popular, earning several title shots and losing them all to better fighters. He’s got good wrestling, limited but powerful streaking and a great guillotine that he has taught to many of his current and former Team Alpha Male teammates. Lately he’s also had some close fights with people he should have blown out of the water and has taken to clearly fouling in fights he is losing, so he’s on a lot of goons’ poo poo lists.

What did this fight mean for the future?
This fight SHOULD have been perfect to set up a hungry division with a rapidly rising star, as it was a world-class performance from the previously untested Jimmie Rivera. Unfortunately Faber caused serious and potentially permanent damage to Rivera’s eye, so Jimmie is out indefinitely while he pursues options there. It’s a goddamn shame, really. Faber’s pretty clearly going to be nowhere near another title fight, now on a two-fight losing streak and at 37 years of age. In Rivera’s absence, the next few title fights will likely go to Faber’s current teammate Cody Garbrandt, or Faber’s former teammate and former bantamweight champ TJ Dillashaw.

What are some of their best fights?
For Rivera: This fight was his best ever for sure, but previous good UFC fights include his bout with Iuri Alcantara and Marcus Brimage.

For Faber: Faber’s had some great showings in the past as well. Check out his fights with Alex “Bruce Leroy” Caceres, Ivan Menjivar and Michael “Mayday” McDonald.

I like them. Who are some similar fighters?
If you liked Rivera and want to see more tiny men pick apart their opponents with great movement and execution of a perfect gameplan, you might like Dominick Cruz or TJ Dillashaw. IF you want to see another man who loving hates Urijah Faber’s legs, see Jose Aldo.

If you like the version of Faber I’ve described but you’ve never seen yet, also see his teammates Chad Mendes or Cody Garbrandt.


Jessica Andrade def. Joanne Calderwood, guillotine choke submission (R1)

Who are these ladies?
Heavy-handed submission expert Jessica Andrade was previously a bantamweight in the UFC, where she went on an unimpressive 4-3 run against middling competition before deciding to drop two weight classes and challenge the UFC’s strawweights. That big weight cut turned out to be a huge boon for her, because she’s leveraged her massive size and strength advantage into an undefeated strawweight career with two big wins over two very game women. She first KO’d Jessica Penne faster than Joanna “Champion” Jędrzejczyk, and now she put on the rear end-whoopin’ you all saw of Jojo Calderwood.

Jojo isn’t the best strawweight by any means, but she’s an adorkable staple in the top 10. She lost by submission to the Rose Namajunas on the season of the Ultimate Fighter that determined Namajunas would fight for the inaugural strawweight belt (losing to one-time champ Carla Esparza) and only suffered her first professional loss last year, getting submitted by then unknown Maryna Moroz in Jojo’s first fight since changing camps after she broke up with her coach/boyfriend.Joanne came back to win two, including an impressive TKO at featherweight over former strawweight contender Valerie Letourneau.

What did this fight mean for the future?
This was another very meaningful fight. Andrade is very firmly established as a contender at strawweight now, and it would not at all be surprising for her to get the next crack at Joanna Champion in what would surely be a barn burner. This fight didn’t help Jojo’s stock there and it will be another long while before anyone makes the case for her as a title contender, but seeing as Andrade seems like a world beater at 115 pounds, she probably won’t completely disappear from the top 10 scene by any means.

What are some of their best fights?
For Andrade: Check her out beating up Jessica Penne, and submitting Larissa Pacheco.

For Calderwood: See her wins over Valerie and over Korean baby Seohee Ham.

I like them. Who are some similar fighters?

If you like Brazilian powerhouses with two x chromosomes, see current bantamweight champ Amanda Nunes. If you want to see cute dinks win fights and goons’ hearts without ever truly being fantastic fighters, see :3: Smile’n Sam Alvey :3:

Maybe I’ll give this ”real fighting” thing another try. When should I tune in next?
There will be many cards coming up in the next few weeks, and while few of them will be truly great, each should have at least one or two good fights on it. Feel free to lurk/post in my GDTs! Otherwise, the next truly amazing card should be UFC 205, Nov. 12. The card itself is still coming together, but this is the UFC’s first event in New York City after a huge legal victory in getting MMA legalized in the state, so expect a real show-stopper of a card.

Bluedeanie fucked around with this message at 14:32 on Sep 16, 2016

BlindSite
Feb 8, 2009

Marching Powder posted:

by doing this, it will hurt them as much as it hurts you and the kick is no longer considered a scoring strike

You never forget either your first leg kick or the first time you check one on your first day of MT classes.

Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005

c-spam cannot afford



BlindSite posted:

You never forget either your first leg kick or the first time you check one on your first day of MT classes.

Even with loving pads on and going light you feel it. Shin on shin does not feel nice at all.

Shirkelton
Apr 6, 2009

I'm not loyal to anything, General... except the dream.
Even with pads on, if a knee finds an ankle, someone's limping and cursing for a little while.

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man


Valentijn is the older brother, not the younger one. :spergin:

Zwachro
Mar 7, 2003
C808BEA

Bluedeanie posted:

What are some of their best fights?
For Andrade: Check her out beating up Jessica Penne, and submitting Larissa Pacheco.
The most Jessica Andrade fight is the one against Sarah Moras. 14-minute beatdown, and then she gives up her back and almost gets submitted (two of her losses were due to getting stupid and giving up submissions).


Also, while she seems to have a ridiculous strenght advantage, saying she has a massive size advantage is stating it a bit strongly. She gives up height and reach to most people in the division:

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man


I'm always confused when I see an almost-ran in one division turn into a terrifying contender in another. In a weird way Andrade's rebirth at 115 has smaller-scale echos of when Lawler came back down to 170 pounds and started smashing people out of nowhere after looking mediocre in Strikeforce for years.

Aye Doc
Jul 19, 2007



i've taken a liking to fights with two heavyweights who gas out super fast and spend the rest of their time simulating a sloppy, drunken thanksgiving brawl. what are the best examples of this i can watch?

Chexoid
Nov 5, 2009

Now that I have this dating robot I can take it easy.
Friend, you need to watch Soa Palelei vs Nikita Krylov.

Aye Doc
Jul 19, 2007



Chexoid posted:

Friend, you need to watch Soa Palelei vs Nikita Krylov.

oh baby that's some good tired fat dudes. Krylov collapsing at Soa's feet and just giving up was beautiful

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
Shivers/McSweeny from TUF 10 and Kimbo/Houston Alexander are great gas 'em outs

iwentdoodie
Apr 29, 2005

🤗YOU'RE WELCOME🤗

Aye Doc posted:

i've taken a liking to fights with two heavyweights who gas out super fast and spend the rest of their time simulating a sloppy, drunken thanksgiving brawl. what are the best examples of this i can watch?

Kimbo/Dada is the primo version of this.

Team_q
Jul 30, 2007

Aye Doc posted:

i've taken a liking to fights with two heavyweights who gas out super fast and spend the rest of their time simulating a sloppy, drunken thanksgiving brawl. what are the best examples of this i can watch?

Don Frye vs Yoshihiro Takayama

We were also robbed from this by Roy Nelson, in Nelson VS Derrick Lewis when he remembered that he should probably try and use his expert Jujitsu skills instead of banging it out like they agreed to.

Xtanstic
Nov 23, 2007

Aye Doc posted:

i've taken a liking to fights with two heavyweights who gas out super fast and spend the rest of their time simulating a sloppy, drunken thanksgiving brawl. what are the best examples of this i can watch?

I love Struve v Buentello for this, especially for the hilarious mismatch in physiques. It's been a while since I've seen it so there might not be as much gassing to your liking.

Eat This Glob
Jan 14, 2008

God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. Who will wipe this blood off us? What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we need to invent?

Chael Sonnen described Fedor vs Brett Rogers as "Two fatties swinging like bums. Yawn, stretch, back to sleep." I don't recall it as being a gas-fest, but it might scratch an itch.

Queering Wheel
Jun 18, 2011


Early into his MMA career, Mariusz Pudzianowski quickly became known for gassing in any fight that went more than half a round, to the point where he would turn eggplant purple. His fights with Tim Sylvia and James Thompson are worth checking out for what you're looking for.

Diddie
Sep 1, 2001

What the heck is going on in here???

LobsterMobster posted:

Shivers/McSweeny from TUF 10 and Kimbo/Houston Alexander are great gas 'em outs

Rashad's voice was never the same after that fight

Sweaty IT Nerd
Jul 13, 2007

Russow/Duffee and Reem vs Easter Island Statue Head are good/funny hw fights although some of the contestants aren't as fat and gassed as we'd like.

MassRafTer
May 26, 2001

BAEST MODE!!!

The Sphinxster posted:

Russow/Duffee and Reem vs Easter Island Statue Head are good/funny hw fights although some of the contestants aren't as fat and gassed as we'd like.

Took me a minute to remember Overeem/Bigfoot just because there have been so many hilarious Overeem losses.

Street Horrrsing
Mar 24, 2010

Godwalker of The Grateful Prisoner



Struve/Hunt had hunt falling constantly into terrible positions while a critically gassed struve couldn't capitalize on them.

kimbo305
Jun 9, 2007

actually, yeah, I am a little mad

Aye Doc posted:

i've taken a liking to fights with two heavyweights who gas out super fast and spend the rest of their time simulating a sloppy, drunken thanksgiving brawl. what are the best examples of this i can watch?

My fave will always be Manhoef x Cyborg. It's a very gradual but delicious gas out:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Om3sZo9KIxI&t=39s

If you want to straight backyard brawling from the get-go, there's always the Tank x Scott Ferrozzo rematch.
But don't watch it:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RD5zEKaXrEU&t=30s

Sweaty IT Nerd
Jul 13, 2007

MassRafTer posted:

Took me a minute to remember Overeem/Bigfoot just because there have been so many hilarious Overeem losses.

Spoiler!

Josuke Higashikata
Mar 7, 2013


They might as well put "Overeem will get hilariously sparked" on all of his posters, it's that common.

Aye Doc
Jul 19, 2007



MassRafTer posted:

Took me a minute to remember Overeem/Bigfoot just because there have been so many hilarious Overeem losses.

i could watch overeem get lazy and get knocked into another dimension on loop for the rest of my life and never be unhappy

Siivola
Dec 23, 2012

Hey, I don't really know what the gently caress about MMA, but I've got a month of Fightpass and I like watching people punch each other. Can you recommend me good striker vs. striker matches? Bonus points for wildly different styles.

Bluedeanie
Jul 20, 2008

It's no longer a blue world, Max. Where could we go?



Siivola posted:

Hey, I don't really know what the gently caress about MMA, but I've got a month of Fightpass and I like watching people punch each other. Can you recommend me good striker vs. striker matches? Bonus points for wildly different styles.

Lyoto Machida vs Shogun Rua 1 and 2 is straight up Ryu vs Sagat karate vs muy thai. If someone wants to post that photo of their stances, please do.

BlindSite
Feb 8, 2009

Siivola posted:

Hey, I don't really know what the gently caress about MMA, but I've got a month of Fightpass and I like watching people punch each other. Can you recommend me good striker vs. striker matches? Bonus points for wildly different styles.

Machida vs rashad Evans and machida v mousasi are pretty good.

Bj penn vs Diego Sanchez is also fun. Well, fun for bj penn.

Shirkelton
Apr 6, 2009

I'm not loyal to anything, General... except the dream.
Nick Diaz vs Paul Daley.

Lord Waffle Beard
Dec 7, 2013

Siivola posted:

Hey, I don't really know what the gently caress about MMA, but I've got a month of Fightpass and I like watching people punch each other. Can you recommend me good striker vs. striker matches? Bonus points for wildly different styles.

Edson Barbosa vs Ross Pearson
Abel Trujillo vs jamie varner
Dave Herman vs Jon Olav Einemo

Shirkelton
Apr 6, 2009

I'm not loyal to anything, General... except the dream.

Bluedeanie posted:

Lyoto Machida vs Shogun Rua 1 and 2 is straight up Ryu vs Sagat karate vs muy thai. If someone wants to post that photo of their stances, please do.

Siivola
Dec 23, 2012

Oh wow, that was fast. Thanks, guys, this'll keep me busy for a bit.

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Tezcatlipoca
Sep 18, 2009
Dominick Cruz vs TJ Dillashaw
Junior Dos Santos vs Mark Hunt
Jose Aldo vs Chad Mendes 2

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