Spoilers thread: Spoiled Wrestling in Every Sense of the Term [no spoiler tags]

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > Spoilers thread: Spoiled Wrestling in Every Sense of the Term [no spoiler tags]

Platypus Farm: Jul 12, 2003; Francis is my name, and breeding is my game. All bow before the fertile smut-god!

Defiance Industries posted:

Bray hasn't done anything to Randy, whereas Randy has burned down Bray's swamp shack and maybe desecrated his sister's corpse. That's why the alignments feel so muddled.

But people who live in swamps are naturally bad and inbred and creepy. I mean, just like jews run hollywood, these are truths that cannot be undone.

# ¿ Mar 28, 2017 19:49

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# ¿ Apr 19, 2024 07:15

Platypus Farm: Jul 12, 2003; Francis is my name, and breeding is my game. All bow before the fertile smut-god!

Liquid Communism posted:

Why the gently caress would anyone get excited for Sami Zayn in 2017?

I love his work to death, and think he's great at the job, but his booking has been so consistently hosed that cheering for him is pointless because he's just going to lose. He only gets beat up so they can make a heel look good by kicking his rear end, and that stops being effective when it becomes clear the face is a jobber.

It also doesn't help that even in kayfabe he's a complete non-threat. Guy dresses up like a taxi cab driver, dances around like a moron from 1997 and is referred to as "the underdog from the underground"? Uh... yeah let me tremble in my boots here for a minute.

At this point, he seems like such a doofus that I don't know how they could possibly make him cool again, outside of having him end a match covered in blood and go on a rampage. Actually there you go. Make the fucker snap.

# ¿ May 8, 2017 14:43

Platypus Farm: Jul 12, 2003; Francis is my name, and breeding is my game. All bow before the fertile smut-god!

mkay0 posted:

Bray first came out with that gimmick during True Detective season one. I hoped it was like that. Mentally ill guy thinks he's a god.

Rust Cohle?

# ¿ Jul 9, 2017 02:23

Platypus Farm: Jul 12, 2003; Francis is my name, and breeding is my game. All bow before the fertile smut-god!

Strawberry Panda posted:

LOL. A grain of salt doesn't do him justice.

True I like to rub him in honey <3

Also someone should tell Vince that while Japan has nowhere near the population of India, they make up for that by having more total disposable income than the entire subcontinent on one of their islands. We'll get a four year nakamura reign!

And maybe a kim jong-un subplot because VKM has no idea which "oriental" is which.

# ¿ Aug 2, 2017 14:20

Platypus Farm: Jul 12, 2003; Francis is my name, and breeding is my game. All bow before the fertile smut-god!

ryback sucks and is also a douche

About four years ago at a house show my kid caught a FEED ME MORE shirt that jojo shot out of a t-shirt cannon during the middle of the card break. After the show a handful of wrestlers were hanging around doing interviews, which I assume they always do here because they literally always have kid-filled sunday matinee-time shows and never anything else. Anyway, ryback was one of them, and my kid had on his XXL free shirt, and ryback was like "why did you buy a shirt so big" and my kid said he caught it, and ryback got all uppity about him getting a free shirt.

Then big show put his hand on my kid's head and it was like palming a basketball.

Thanks for reading my story about how ryback sucks and big show is a nice man

# ¿ Aug 3, 2017 16:54

Platypus Farm: Jul 12, 2003; Francis is my name, and breeding is my game. All bow before the fertile smut-god!

sportsgenius86 posted:

Cole, Bobby Fish and Kyle O'Reilly at the very least. Possibly Donovan Dijak and Lio Rush as well.

That would be as exciting as sanity

# ¿ Aug 16, 2017 12:39

Platypus Farm: Jul 12, 2003; Francis is my name, and breeding is my game. All bow before the fertile smut-god!

flashy_mcflash posted:

It would be very good and I'd be hyped for it.

I'm not saying they're bad. I'm saying ROH hasn't been exactly setting the world on fire lately and I doubt a bunch of ROH guys joining together just because they were all in ROH would be very exciting. Sounds like a faction for faction's sake which, okay I guess, but with NXT getting a little floundery it seems like it'd be smarter to just have some individually developed storylines and also have lio rush no sell being pile driven through a table from 40 feet up.

# ¿ Aug 16, 2017 13:36

Platypus Farm: Jul 12, 2003; Francis is my name, and breeding is my game. All bow before the fertile smut-god!

RealFoxy posted:

At the same time Triple H is such a fan of old school, has been looking for any excuse to do War Games for years now, and the faction warfare from a few years back involving SHIELD/Evolution/Wyatt Family were really good too.

I've been re-watching the CZW/ROH feud and when faction warfare is done really well it's some of the most exciting wrestling in decades, but once again, they've had a brand split for ages and haven't made the first attempt to make a feud between the brands exciting, and they've also been given a golden goose like Nexus and managed to kill excitement for it almost immediately too

While I agree with you on the idea of invasions being awesome, the problem as I see it is that the people watching have to know who the hell the people in the faction ARE.

NWO worked because everyone knew hall and nash and ultimately hogan. The Horsemen worked because everyone in the world knew flair, anderson, blanchard and dillon. To me, shield and the wyatts weren't really factions as much as freebird-rule tag teams. It's like calling New Day a faction. Anyway, people knew who they were too.

Outside of a real small subset of viewers, who the hell are going to know some ROH guys and indie workers? Sure, a higher percentage of NXT fans will know them, but I can't imagine it'd be enough to actually field an effective faction for an invasion angle.

# ¿ Aug 16, 2017 16:40

Platypus Farm: Jul 12, 2003; Francis is my name, and breeding is my game. All bow before the fertile smut-god!

Gaz-L posted:

Wait, New Day/Usos, Shane/KO and what... is Nak/Jinder in the cell too? Cuz... like... no-one's gonna buy that as a meaningful stip for Jinder, cuz the Singhs ALWAYS interfere.

"No, this time, really, they won't interfere"

--Smackdown Live Booking Team

# ¿ Sep 18, 2017 17:36

Platypus Farm: Jul 12, 2003; Francis is my name, and breeding is my game. All bow before the fertile smut-god!

Chris James 2 posted:

How they gonna get in? Door's locked

There will be a food delivery in the middle of the match because Jinder needs some vindaloo so they will open the door to let the delivery man in. The delivery man will take off his uniform to reveal BOTH SINGH BROTHERS!!! and then Nakamura will lackadaisically delivery sloppy kinshasas to both of them before he slips on the vindaloo and Jinder pins him for six minutes.

# ¿ Sep 18, 2017 17:40

Platypus Farm: Jul 12, 2003; Francis is my name, and breeding is my game. All bow before the fertile smut-god!

Shield vs. new wyatt family with bray as the doddering old charlie manson like leader who doesn't fight, and finn, aleister black [hail satan] and velveteen dream who gets so aroused by satan that he becomes a hedonistic sex demon would be pretty great.

Except boring loving dean, roman and seth will win for some reason no one understands.

Whatever, hail satan

# ¿ Sep 26, 2017 03:59

Platypus Farm: Jul 12, 2003; Francis is my name, and breeding is my game. All bow before the fertile smut-god!

I want them to harken back to the Good Old Days and find a midget who looks exactly like a miniature braun strowman and then have him demolish the cruiserweight division.

# ¿ Sep 27, 2017 16:18

Platypus Farm: Jul 12, 2003; Francis is my name, and breeding is my game. All bow before the fertile smut-god!

The_Rob posted:

It's going to be another Ryback. Like him or not there was a short period where Ryback was legit over with the audience and they decided to squash that as fast as possible.

Assuming he lives through his incredible amount of gassing, it could just be normal ryback, kept alive by a straight diet of steroids and panera salad

# ¿ Sep 29, 2017 14:09

Platypus Farm: Jul 12, 2003; Francis is my name, and breeding is my game. All bow before the fertile smut-god!

projecthalaxy posted:

Is booker t considered "from WCW" in this situation

He's definitely one of "those kinds of people"

# ¿ Oct 5, 2017 20:46

Platypus Farm: Jul 12, 2003; Francis is my name, and breeding is my game. All bow before the fertile smut-god!

DarkstarIV posted:

Update on the spoiler posted above:

It's now a six woman tag match: Sasha, Bayley, and Dana Brooke vs Nia, Emma, and Alicia.

So maybe they'll do the triple threat next week? I don't know.

Of course, not even the wrestlers, ref, announcers or anyone else involved knew what the rules were supposed to be so I'm not sure you're really "wrong"

# ¿ Oct 10, 2017 04:23

Platypus Farm: Jul 12, 2003; Francis is my name, and breeding is my game. All bow before the fertile smut-god!

Cavauro posted:

I thought vader was about to die soon, but it sounds like I got fooled by the wrestling business, as usual!

No, he's fine now, it was just a mistake by an entire team of doctors who misinterpreted his lifetime of incredible abuse to his body as having shortened his heart's useful duration.

# ¿ Oct 13, 2017 02:51

Platypus Farm: Jul 12, 2003; Francis is my name, and breeding is my game. All bow before the fertile smut-god!

Go RV! posted:

Spoilers: you're all gonna hate this by the time it's over

enjoy the wrestling version of "oh gently caress, we're in a corner, remake FF7"

Now that you mention it I WOULD like a remade version of wrestlemania 2.

# ¿ Oct 20, 2017 17:13

Platypus Farm: Jul 12, 2003; Francis is my name, and breeding is my game. All bow before the fertile smut-god!

Caesarian Sectarian posted:

Finn is gonna be getting his win back from Sister Abigail at SS.

You DO mean at summer slam 2018 right because that's how long this loving feud is going to continue.

# ¿ Oct 20, 2017 18:52

Platypus Farm: Jul 12, 2003; Francis is my name, and breeding is my game. All bow before the fertile smut-god!

Seams posted:

whats up with brock's eye

Same thing that's wrong with nakamura's belly button.

# ¿ Nov 2, 2017 13:45

Platypus Farm: Jul 12, 2003; Francis is my name, and breeding is my game. All bow before the fertile smut-god!

exploded mummy posted:

the casting agency must have required an NDA

Or none of the wrestlers were willing to pay for parking so no one showed up

# ¿ Nov 7, 2017 04:24

Platypus Farm: Jul 12, 2003; Francis is my name, and breeding is my game. All bow before the fertile smut-god!

Bigass Moth posted:

Just getting ready for his call up to 305 Live.

This just in, kassius ohno is moving to japan, but not for NJPW

For Sumo

# ¿ Nov 17, 2017 02:36

Platypus Farm: Jul 12, 2003; Francis is my name, and breeding is my game. All bow before the fertile smut-god!

I don't think anyone's saying he should turn into Rick Rude but at least don't dress like the fat kid in gym class who hasn't bought a new shirt since before puberty

# ¿ Nov 17, 2017 12:35

Platypus Farm: Jul 12, 2003; Francis is my name, and breeding is my game. All bow before the fertile smut-god!

Bigass Moth posted:

Make 305 Live. Give the big boys a place to shine.

It'll be a reverse weight limit. 305 minimum

# ¿ Feb 1, 2019 12:24

Platypus Farm: Jul 12, 2003; Francis is my name, and breeding is my game. All bow before the fertile smut-god!

The Kimoa Kid posted:

Especially when Nia and Tamina win.

wait are we still talking about 305 live

# ¿ Feb 2, 2019 00:04

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# ¿ Apr 19, 2024 07:15

Platypus Farm: Jul 12, 2003; Francis is my name, and breeding is my game. All bow before the fertile smut-god!

Dacap posted:

They should just do a super heavyweight tournament and call it the Vader Classic

With all the "Classic" tournaments they have going, this one would be the only one I watch.

# ¿ Mar 3, 2019 15:48

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > Spoilers thread: Spoiled Wrestling in Every Sense of the Term [no spoiler tags]