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KomodoWagon
May 10, 2013



Did she or did she not have a stroke. You live with her, how can you not loving know whether she had an actual stroke or "something." You make it sound like you're using a mentally ill and gravely sick woman to get food and housing and then refusing to help her find a doctor that lives up to her - admittedly wrong-headed (cus she's mentally ill, as you know and have told us you know) - standards. But oh right, gently caress, you might have to drive which will take time out of your busy schedule of not paying rent

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KomodoWagon
May 10, 2013



But mooooom I can't take you to the doctor, even though I live with you and have no prior engagements - a reasonable, empowered person.

KomodoWagon
May 10, 2013



Scudworth posted:

Does being a student living at home for part of the summer mean different things in different areas or wtf are these kinds of replies. OP will be gone in likely 3 weeks from now.
The people closest to the situation (*not OP*) are content to do gently caress all. How much do you expect OP to do by September when school starts if the mom can't even give a poo poo? Do you understand the moms crippling codependancy at work here?

Now I don't know where you live, but where I'm from, you hit 18 and you're loving out, no backsies. Like, you can come for dinner once in a while but staying over is out of the question and moving back for months at time is insane poo poo for sadbrained NEETs. Do you people have parents that are unaware that several months of lodging is something you'd normally be expected to pay for or do they just not care that their children develop work ethics? Talk about codependent, holy poo poo lol.

If you'll be gone again soon, that's even less of an effort you're expected to make. If your mother genuinely cannot take care of herself while you're gone, look into getting her a helper or if she's truly as mentally ill as you say, talk to the rest of your family about getting her committed. Otherwise stfu and help your mother, you loving goon. I'm not saying you need to take time out of your studies to do this poo poo, but so long as you're under her roof for free you follow your mother's goddamn orders.

KomodoWagon
May 10, 2013



C. Everett Koop posted:

i can confirm the second i turned 18 my dad blindfolded me drove me four hours to the middle of nowhere and told me i was a man now and i was on my own and if i came back he'd shoot me the second i stepped foot on his property

i truly thank him for that because it made me to whom i am today, a person posting in e/n

I'm sorry your dad enjoys living with other grown men. Then again, so what.

KomodoWagon
May 10, 2013



a cop posted:

"Lead an independent life" is a nice way of saying "Shirk all familial responsibilities", that's for sure. You can get paid and be good to your family.

I think you're misunderstanding. I'm not saying shirk your responsibility to your family, I'm saying stop being a burden and also keep helping your parents because you owe them and continuing to be a drain on them is disgraceful.

KomodoWagon
May 10, 2013



Scudworth posted:

And we're trying to tell you that you're in some weird sad BOOTSTRAPS head space because college students returning home to work all summer is the most normal thing ever and not a "continuing drain". This isn't a new thing either. Most dorms won't house people over the summer.
Some industries (tourism jobs, parks department work) rely on this local seasonal workforce influx.

In my defence, OP didn't really claim to be working.

If you are working, and paying to stay there, it's really your mom's problem. It's not like she can't kick you out if she doesn't feel you're contributing enough.

KomodoWagon
May 10, 2013



Xun posted:

There have been a lot of questions in the thread and someone even pmed me asking for answers so I figure I might give goons some entertainment and also rant. I didn't include a lot of information in the OP because I thought it wasn't relevant. This seems to be a good summary of the questions so if people have more I'll answer

My mom has been in America for over 30 years and as far as I can tell she's never had to have a job outside of maybe the first 5. My fathers side of the family immigrated here but she's destroyed her relationship with them over weird petty things and they're not even on speaking terms. As long as I've known her she's been very dependent on my dad to take care of everything except the cooking. Bills, house maintenance, medical stuff, etc

My dad hosed off to China to chase mad monies around the time I was in high school so I've had to deal with a lot of house stuff for years. Ask me about filling out shareholder votey things!!! (No don't I just picked no opinion/companies choice and mailed it back). My brother is also in China trying to ride on the cash train.

Stroke wise I literally have no idea what happened apart from "can't see out of one eye". Since I am not her legal guardian the hospital won't tell me what was wrong with her. Her English is awful and like I said, she doesn't trust western doctors so she probably doesn't know or care what the diagnosis was.

Some goons suggested that I should try to get her into a routine of visiting a doctor. I suppose I should mention I've tried doing that before with the teeth rotting out of her face. I set up dentists appointments at a place that is close by and has Asian doctors. I drove her there for the initial examination and even for getting some of the rotting teeth out. I explained over and over again how you need to remove the teeth or the rot is going to spread.

Then she decided that she's not going anymore because it hurt and has spent a year "treating" it with vodka mouthwash. Now she is spending a fortune to fly to China to get her teeth fixed.

Ahahaha disregard everything I've posted, your mother's gonna die and it's her own fault. Why does your father keep providing for this waste of life?

KomodoWagon
May 10, 2013



Earwicker posted:

wtf kind of place do you come from where someone staying over at their parents house when visiting is "out of the question"?

More like what kind of place do you guys come from where anyone over the age of forty has such a vacuous, empty life that they are just thrilled to have some little fuckhead that once ran around their house screaming and doing nothing productive for over a decade come back to live with them for weeks, even months at a time, free of charge? I mean, if you're paying a rent while living there I understand (well, respect your/your parents' decision at least), but you should be able to get a motel or something if you're just visiting.

KomodoWagon
May 10, 2013



Thin Privilege posted:

I do not understand these ideas such as "love" "family" "care"


ThePeavstenator posted:

Believe it or not some people have parents who love them.

Love is not charity. Family is not a crutch you can lean on every time you fail at your life. Do your parents get upset when you succeed at providing for yourself? I can't imagine how signaling to your parents that you don't need their alms to stave off homelessness, even when in a town that you don't have an address in, is somehow symptomatic of a loveless sham of a family life. When you go abroad, do you call home going "Mommy can you buy an apartment in Lima for me?"

Take care of your parents. Absolutely spend time with them. If they need your help for an extended time period, be there for them (while maintaining your own studies/career). But if you're an adult, it's time you start giving back to them instead of just continuing to take from them. They have lives of their own, and they don't necessarily need you stinking up their place for days.

KomodoWagon
May 10, 2013



Do you generally invite dinner guests to sleep at your house or just the ones you're related to? This might just be a culture thing.

KomodoWagon
May 10, 2013



If you want, it's your house. Besides, parties aren't really the same thing as a dinner appointment. I don't get shitfaced out onto the small hours of the morning with my parents, but if I did I don't think staying over would be a problem.

Scudworth posted:

You make/have no distinction here between mere dinner guests vs people's children who they love dearly and want to spend larger amounts of time with? Unless I lived in the same area as my parents they would be hurt if I came over for just dinner and then bailed to a hotel for the night. That would be insulting and ice cold. They would be sad.

And visiting your folks for xmas or whatever is different than living with them after schooling is over, but you don't seem to see that distinction either.

This isn't cultural, you were raised by sociopaths or are one, like we keep trying to tell you.

Do you still sneak into your parents' bed to cuddle up? Because that would be p. hosed up but I can't see how else anyone gains anything from you sleeping within the confines of their house while they also sleep.

KomodoWagon
May 10, 2013



Of course you should provide accomodation for your parents if they deign to visit you*. What I don't get is why you expect them to keep an entire room ready just in case you decide to show up when they could use that room for things they'd like in their own life (which doesn't/shouldn't revolve around you once you're grown up). Didn't they raise you to be able to take care of yourself? You say your parents would be hurt if you didn't stay the night, for some reason. Mine would be hurt if I showed up, turned my pockets inside out and asked them "P-please, may I have shelter for the night?" instead of just providing for myself like a grown man who makes his own money.

*btw "Hi mom and dad! Thanks for giving birth to me and raising me and feeding me and clothing me for eighteen years of your precious time, and thank you for once again blessing me with your presence! Here's an air mattress, go ape." lmao

KomodoWagon
May 10, 2013



Control Volume posted:

One day a friend is going to ask to crash on komododragon's couch and im just imagining the rolling waves of shock and disgust before screeching about how he doesnt want to have sex with them

I don't have friends without us all getting pissdrunk and by then we're probably gonna just pass out eventually anyway. Like I said earlier, it's a completely different scenario. If I do have friends over just during the day, then of course they go back to their own place, which they have. I don't hang out with dropout losers.

KomodoWagon
May 10, 2013



Yeah well at least that sitcom isn't Married... With Children

KomodoWagon
May 10, 2013



Jeza posted:

KomodoDragon open your E/N thread about your parents already

My loving parents raised me to be a happily independent person but people on the Something Awful forums called them sociopaths so now I hate them. Should I sue them to pay for my therapy?

KomodoWagon
May 10, 2013



Nevvy Z posted:

Obviously as much as you claim to love your family you don't like them very much.
Are you actually arguing that a person can't possibly like someone or enjoy their company without wanting to see them drunk off their rear end or is this one of those 'joke' things I've heard so much about?

KomodoWagon
May 10, 2013



Thin Privilege posted:

So you stay in hotels so you don't embarrass yourself cause you're an alcoholic, or am I reading this wrong?

Considering that was a response to a comment specifically regarding getting drunk with one's parents - yes, it's fairly likely you're reading it wrong. You sure seem to be getting angry, though, so maybe stop following this thread?

Slime posted:

Do you ever see your parents

Do they ever invite you to enjoy activities with them

Or do they just want you out of their lives forever

Yes

Yes, often

No

I hope this helps you in your quest to come to terms with the fact that other people have a different kind of family life than you.

Control Volume posted:

Instead of trying to squat down and poop out these gbs-tier owns how about you make your own thread about your mental dysfunction

KomodoWagon
May 10, 2013



Earwicker posted:

oh I see you're one of those "no it's everyone else's fault that I'm terrible at communicating" types of people

What have I failed to communicate? Really, do tell, I'm always looking for ways to improve as a person.

Nevvy Z posted:

No I'm basing it off of all the things you said not just the one I quoted.

Oh all right you got me, I despise my parents and I hope they die. What tipped you off, the part where I said you should make an effort to spend time with your parents? Was it back when I hinted at the fact that I respect their privacy and personal space? poo poo, I know, it must have been when I said OP should take her mother to the doctor if asked to do so. drat you for staring into my soul like that.

For real though, you seem to be inferring some pretty weird poo poo from my posts. I've talked about nothing but respecting your parents and being a good son/daughter to them. I do like my family, I do enjoy spending time with them, and first and foremost I want them to have rich, full lives that don't revolve around pampering and caring for their grown-rear end son.

KomodoWagon
May 10, 2013



Okay I'm gonna try to make this as clear as possible since apparently I'm a feral child incapable of complex communication:

I like spending time with my parents.
When I'm asleep, I'm not "spending time" with anyone, or enjoying someone's company unless I'm sleeping with my girlfriend in the same bed.
Staying over means that I'm asleep, my parents are asleep, and the only way in which we're "together" is that we're both within the geographical confines of the same property.

How is this better than, or preferable to, taking care of myself and providing my own accomodations while my parents don't have to spend time setting up a temporary den for me, or worse keep an entire room empty and useless on the off chance that I drop by and have had my identity stolen along with all my money?

KomodoWagon
May 10, 2013



Okay w/e if your parents get some ineffable kick out of having you snoring in another room while they sleep/whatever, go crazy. Mine enjoy knowing I'm independent and capable of handling myself. You realize you can just come back the next day if you want to spend more time with them, right? It's not like there's a cooldown period after you've left for the night.

KomodoWagon
May 10, 2013



Earwicker posted:

You don't seem to understand that it's possible and, indeed, very common for people who are independent and capable of handling themselves to stay over with friends or family when they are visiting from a distant place.

Being independent doesn't mean you have to demonstrate how utterly independent you are at every possible opportunity, you can in fact appreciate the hospitality of friends and family while also, simultaneously, being an independent adult.

Sure, but why would you want to sleep at your parents' house like a bum if you can provide for yourself and then return in the morning? I still don't get what the hell kind of joy you're supposed to get from all of you sleeping at the same address, simultaneously.

Thin Privilege posted:

Same goes the other way. I've slept on a windowsill, a tiny pointy IKEA couch, and a cot because me and my friends would rather be together than me staying in some hotel.

Oh you've slept uncomfortably even though you could have just paid for a perfectly nice bed? Sure showed me. Next up, learn about altruism from cooking with a sharpened rock instead of knives.

Captain Yossarian posted:

How small exactly are these houses without a guest room or couch of some kind? My parents are poor as poo poo and they have a "guest room" . I'd say that most if not all places I've been in this world at least have a couch or chair you could sleep in? Sometimes I'd rather stay in a hotel but it seems strange how foreign the concept of "staying at a place" is I guess

Do you not comprehend that this room could be used for other purposes than having your pasty rear end loitering in it while your brain fucks off for the night? Your parents are, as I mentioned, human beings with entire lives of which I hope you're not somehow the center despite having reached adulthood. Do your parents have any hobbies? Activities they enjoy? Or do they just stare glassy-eyed at the TV, then at the clock, then back at the TV, hoping their son will some day soon find it in his heart to grace them with his presence?


Control Volume posted:

Hotels are expensive and if I were to go to one rather than sleeping in one of the several rooms that are empty in my parents' house because I no longer live there, I think I would trigger my dad's genetically inhereted obsession with thriftiness and he would devolve into a gibbering ape, tearing around the house screeching about how his grandparents grew up in the great depression, groupon.com, and a tabulated list of possible home appliances that could be purchased at the same cost or less if you shop around on line

Yeah except there's no room for any new appliances because he spends every second of his life prepared to once again host his entire brood of loving buck-toothed goons, reliving the nightmare that was raising you inside his head every minute of every day.

KomodoWagon
May 10, 2013



Sitting Here posted:

yo komodowagon, my mom (who just moved to a large home in a very rural area with little in the way of lodgings) just invited me to stay a night at her new home to celebrate the purchase. Should i call her a smothering stinkyhole to her face, or should i merely imply it by declining her invitation and going to a hotel an hour away from her house?

No, you should respect your mother's wishes. Keep in mind she could just be trying to act polite.

Thin Privilege posted:

No, I was very comfortable because I was with people who loved me

Serotonin won't help your back.

Okay here's what I'm asking: you're asleep. Why does a proximity of less than 50 feet to your parents make a difference?

KomodoWagon
May 10, 2013



Control Volume posted:

If your mother says this thing, then like a directive descending from the lord holy on high, you should obey her command when she even deigns to recognize your presence

Unironically this.

dog days are over posted:

It's more likely the whole affair my mother had with my dad's best friend thing but I also think the spare bedroom theory has some merit

Sever from your morally bankrupt mother.


Earwicker posted:

I'm not sure what kind of pathetic manchild would eat a home cooked meal made by their own mother when any capable independent adult should go to a restaurant. do you think her life revolves around you?

This was never about dinner and you know it.


a cop posted:

Let's all call our families and tell them how much we love them


Always a great idea. Peace out

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KomodoWagon
May 10, 2013



Looks like most of my points in this thread fell on deaf ears.

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