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Mister Kingdom
Dec 14, 2005

And the tears that fall
On the city wall
Will fade away
With the rays of morning light

Ms Boods posted:

Eggs are complicated. They should cost $100 each.

Lick your eggs. Or have a friend lick them.

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FlavoFibe
Nov 9, 2015


Ensign_Ricky posted:

On that note, what are some MST'd movies that you all think wouldn't be half bad if it wasn't for a few minor tweaks? (This Island Earth excepted.)

If Girl in Lover's Lane hadn't ended so miserably I think it would be pretty okay. There are a few movies they've done that I've enjoyed the movie itself. The Magic Sword is goofy fun, and like people have mentioned 12 to the Moon is so sincere it's endearing.

Mister Kingdom
Dec 14, 2005

And the tears that fall
On the city wall
Will fade away
With the rays of morning light

Does any other movie exceed High School Big Shot in miserableness? It's made worse by the fact that the star died in a car crash and his body wasn't found for weeks afterward.

Burkion
May 10, 2012


It Conquered The World has a really good set up, a really good cast and actors, and a really lovely alien

Mister Kingdom
Dec 14, 2005

And the tears that fall
On the city wall
Will fade away
With the rays of morning light

Burkion posted:

It Conquered The World has a really good set up, a really good cast and actors, and a really lovely alien

Nothing says horror like a giant artichoke.

Franchescanado
Feb 23, 2013

If it wasn't for disappointment,
I wouldn't have any appointment.


Burkion posted:

It Conquered The World has a really good set up, a really good cast and actors, and a really lovely alien

It was also a favorite of Frank Zappa, who dedicates his song Cheapnis" to it. With as many Zappa jokes as MST3k has, I don't think the overlap is coincidental.

Also, I'm happy about the Netflix deal. Since Netflix threw a MST3k joke (with Mike and the bots) in Season 4 of Arrested Development, I always thought that an MST3k deal was happening behind the scenes. It was too perfect to be coincidence.

Ensign_Ricky
Jan 4, 2008

Daddy Warlord
of the
Children of the Corn


or something...


Franchescanado posted:

It was also a favorite of Frank Zappa, who dedicates his song Cheapnis" to it. With as many Zappa jokes as MST3k has, I don't think the overlap is coincidental.

Also, I'm happy about the Netflix deal. Since Netflix threw a MST3k joke (with Mike and the bots) in Season 4 of Arrested Development, I always thought that an MST3k deal was happening behind the scenes. It was too perfect to be coincidence.

It was Joel and the bots actually.

Well, just Joel and Trace.

Franchescanado
Feb 23, 2013

If it wasn't for disappointment,
I wouldn't have any appointment.


Ensign_Ricky posted:

It was Joel and the bots actually.

Well, just Joel and Trace.

Well that makes even more sense, since Joel would have been wheelin'-and-dealin' rights/plans/pitches.

The Ape of Naples
Jul 24, 2007
This Goon is a Dumb Prick!

Grimey Drawer

Mister Kingdom posted:

Does any other movie exceed High School Big Shot in miserableness? It's made worse by the fact that the star died in a car crash and his body wasn't found for weeks afterward.

A Million Bucks!

I do love how Depressing Dad come back in Teenage Werewolf as pretty much the same character.

Powered Descent
Jul 13, 2008

We haven't had that spirit here since 1969.

Ensign_Ricky posted:

On that note, what are some MST'd movies that you all think wouldn't be half bad if it wasn't for a few minor tweaks? (This Island Earth excepted.)

Hmm... maybe Space Travelers (more properly known as Marooned) qualifies. It has its problems, mostly with the pacing and a few unmemorable characters. But you can think of it as a sort of very early prototype of Apollo 13. (Fun fact: it's also the only Oscar-winning film ever riffed on the show. It won best special effects and was nominated for sound and cinematography.)

Magic Hate Ball
May 6, 2007

ha ha ha!
you've already paid for this


Touch of Satan is one good tight edit away from being a passable B movie, I really appreciate the visuals in Jack Frost, and Danger Diabolik is a pretty okay Bond ripoff.

Breadallelogram
Oct 9, 2012

Rise up - for you the flag is flung - for you the bugle trills


Franchescanado posted:

It was also a favorite of Frank Zappa, who dedicates his song Cheapnis" to it. With as many Zappa jokes as MST3k has, I don't think the overlap is coincidental.

Also, I'm happy about the Netflix deal. Since Netflix threw a MST3k joke (with Mike and the bots) in Season 4 of Arrested Development, I always thought that an MST3k deal was happening behind the scenes. It was too perfect to be coincidence.

I've read that Zappa and the Best Brains had discussed collaborating on something shortly before he died

egon_beeblebrox
Feb 29, 2008

WILL AMOUNT TO NOTHING IN LIFE.



Parts: The Clonus Horror is almost good to me. A rewrite and a non-TV-movie budget would have helped. It's better than its rip-off, The Island.

I genuinely enjoy Phantom Planet. It's not good, but I like old dumb talky scifi movies.

Mitchell feels like a lost pilot to a TV series ala Columbo or McMillan and Wife. I'd probably watch that show.

Diabolik900
Mar 28, 2007



Fun Shoe

egon_beeblebrox posted:

Parts: The Clonus Horror is almost good to me. A rewrite and a non-TV-movie budget would have helped. It's better than its rip-off, The Island.

Agreed. This is one I sort of like.

Rollersnake
May 9, 2005

Please, please don't let me end up in a threesome with the lunch lady and a gay pirate. That would hit a little too close to home.

FlavoFibe posted:

and like people have mentioned 12 to the Moon is so sincere it's endearing.

I watched this episode for the first time yesterday, and thought it was an honest attempt at a realistic space travel movie until they reach the moon and all the goofiness starts. So much mockable stuff in that movie, from the plainly visible set lights on the lunar surface to the only Asian member of the crew randomly being able to translate moon runes. But that overly earnest utopian sci-fi tone does make it rather likable.

Rollersnake fucked around with this message at Jul 25, 2016 around 23:39

Mister Kingdom
Dec 14, 2005

And the tears that fall
On the city wall
Will fade away
With the rays of morning light

Rollersnake posted:

I watched this episode for the first time yesterday, and thought it was an honest attempt at a realistic space travel movie until they reach the moon and all the goofiness starts. So much mockable stuff in that movie, from the plainly visible set lights on the lunar surface to the only Asian member of the crew randomly being able to translate moon runes. But that overly earnest utopian sci-fi tone does make it rather likable.

The "invisible ray screen" on their helmets ranks up there with the fake telephone ring in Monster A-Go-Go.

Jet Jaguar
Feb 12, 2006

Don't touch my bags if you please, Mr. Customs Man.



Pillbug

Mister Kingdom posted:

The "invisible ray screen" on their helmets ranks up there with the fake telephone ring in Monster A-Go-Go.

"Even he doesn't buy it!"

12 to the Moon has its most important lesson in "bring cats." Pity there was no room for them in the Command Module or the LEM.

I'm a big fan of Double 007 and First Spaceship on Venus, they're both kinda earnest and mean well, plus the former gives Moneypenny more to do in one scene than she ever got to do in the regular Bond films.

All of the spy films have something to recommend them. Secret Agent Super Dragon has that killer musical sting, Danger: Death Ray has Tommy's toy boat special effects and a death ray to be used for peaceful purposes only.

thedaian
Dec 11, 2005

Blistering idiots.

Ensign_Ricky posted:

On that note, what are some MST'd movies that you all think wouldn't be half bad if it wasn't for a few minor tweaks?

I have to agree with Parts: The Clonus Horror having an interesting premise. I kind of enjoyed the Emmerich remake The Island until they actually leave the secret cloning facility.

Jack Frost is a pretty neat movie from Russia, and I want to say The Magic Sword isn't half bad either, though it's been a long time since I've seen that episode. A lot of the wilder foreign films they've done are pretty interesting from a "foreign films are weird" perspective.

I have a fondness for dystopian government movies, so Stranded in Space always had an interesting premise. That sort of thing has been done better elsewhere though.

bunnyofdoom
Mar 29, 2008



Michael Bay made the island not Emmerich.


But I dunno if any of the ones I've seen could be salvageable really. Maybe the final sacrifice with actual good Canadian Actors? Seth Rogan for Rowsdower, Colm feore for Santoris? (My phone autocprrectdd that to Santorum. Appropriate because Santoris should be that dead eyed creepy)

Ensign_Ricky
Jan 4, 2008

Daddy Warlord
of the
Children of the Corn


or something...


bunnyofdoom posted:

Michael Bay made the island not Emmerich.


But I dunno if any of the ones I've seen could be salvageable really. Maybe the final sacrifice with actual good Canadian Actors? Seth Rogan for Rowsdower, Colm feore for Santoris? (My phone autocprrectdd that to Santorum. Appropriate because Santoris should be that dead eyed creepy)

As to the former point, that's an easy understandable mistake.

As to the second, let's get Michael Cera as Troy, Donald Sutherland as Pipper and make this bitch

bunnyofdoom
Mar 29, 2008



Let me get in the phone with the minister of Canadian heritage tonight and maybe we can even use the original sets in rural Alberta

Clipperton
Dec 20, 2011


Grimey Drawer

Powered Descent posted:

Hmm... maybe Space Travelers (more properly known as Marooned) qualifies. It has its problems, mostly with the pacing and a few unmemorable characters. But you can think of it as a sort of very early prototype of Apollo 13. (Fun fact: it's also the only Oscar-winning film ever riffed on the show. It won best special effects and was nominated for sound and cinematography.)

I need to watch that again. "If I can offer a quote from Mr Hackman, he said AAAAAAAAAGGH" is probably my single favourite MST3K line

The Time Dissolver
Nov 7, 2012

Are you a good person?


They did Phase IV on KTMA, that movie owns. Though of course the poor quality of the image and sound effectively cuts the legs out from under it.

TL
Jan 16, 2006

Yeah, it is. Isn't it?

Bowties are cool.

Looks pretty skinny, must be a carpenter ant.

John Murdoch
May 19, 2009

I have special eyes.

Just think of all the cool stuff I can see.


Future War's overall premise isn't abjectly terrible. You could probably even keep the "nun-to-be undergoing a crisis of faith" angle.

Tangentially I also remember finding Teenagers From Outer Space oddly compelling, but I can't actually remember why. Maybe it's time for a rewatch.

John Murdoch fucked around with this message at Jul 26, 2016 around 06:38

lenoon
Jan 7, 2010



I agree that touch of Satan is in the almost alright category. I would watch it after a few beers quite happily

teen witch
Oct 9, 2012



So will it be released in other Netflix countries or am I SOL for being in Sweden?

Keep circulating the streams, I guess

Ms Boods
Mar 19, 2009


The Ape of Naples posted:

A Million Bucks!

I do love how Depressing Dad come back in Teenage Werewolf as pretty much the same character.

You'd be depressed, too, if your pet pig was smarter than you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fTEcL7bw6U4

I love the depressing ones like High School Big Shot and Teen-Aged Crime Wave. My mum and Terry are the same age (b. 1929), so it's weird ever to think of my mum being that young (she was a bit of a hell-raiser, but as far as I know she never held a simple farm family hostage at Thanksgiving).

Speaking of actors who died shortly/tragically after their films -- Kim Milford (Laserblast) died of complications from heart surgery; Rainbeaux Smith (Billy's girlfriend in the same film) of complications from heroin addiction...and then poor John Reynolds...

I enjoy trying to find out stuff about how/why some of the films were made -- the nuttiness behind the scenes of Teenagers from Outer Space is more entertaining than what made the screen (although it's one of my faves, being the first one I saw in its entirety).

ETA -- whoops, my mistake -- I got Malcolm Atterbury (Marvin's dad) mixed up with Hank Patterson (Fred Ziffle).

Ms Boods fucked around with this message at Jul 26, 2016 around 11:53

muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005

Gosh, I love arrows.


John Murdoch posted:

Future War's overall premise isn't abjectly terrible. You could probably even keep the "nun-to-be undergoing a crisis of faith" angle.

Future War feels like a movie that had something go catastrophically bad behind the scenes and they ended up finishing the movie by just kind of salvaging what footage they had left. There's the obvious problems like cardboard camera but then you have stuff like the train scene where they get on a train, ride it for a little bit and all of a sudden they're off and walking back to the house. Or the scene where the guy starts to explain his backstory and it cuts in suddenly with the nun summarizing it instead.

Mister Kingdom
Dec 14, 2005

And the tears that fall
On the city wall
Will fade away
With the rays of morning light

muscles like this? posted:

There's the obvious problems like cardboard camera

Seriously, how could they not get a camcorder from somebody? It was made in 1994 for crying out loud. The damned things were everywhere.

BooDoug187
Apr 8, 2005

Don't you fear the yetis in Rio?

muscles like this? posted:

Future War feels like a movie that had something go catastrophically bad behind the scenes and they ended up finishing the movie by just kind of salvaging what footage they had left. There's the obvious problems like cardboard camera but then you have stuff like the train scene where they get on a train, ride it for a little bit and all of a sudden they're off and walking back to the house. Or the scene where the guy starts to explain his backstory and it cuts in suddenly with the nun summarizing it instead.

I have a feeling that the original script was written to be this big budget special effects extravaganza but major studios passed on it over and over till some no name direct to video/dvd/cable outfit bought the rights, servery cut the budget and left the crew with some dino hand puppets, cardboard tv camera, and a Jean Claude Van Darn want-a-be.

Davros1
Jul 19, 2007

You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

quote:

Filmmaker Dave Eddy revealed that this is another movie that kind of collapsed halfway through production and got taken over by another director (him). The original director, Tony Doublin, was battling with the movie’s producer, who felt the fight and action scenes weren’t being done correctly. (He might have been right!) Ultimately Doublin quit and Eddy and his team (dubbed the “Damage Control Unit”) was hired to salvage the movie as best they could. This is the result.

quote:

He also noted that, while they did so, he and some of the crew remarked that it would be great if some day their movie would show up on “Mystery Science Theater 3000”

Calaveron
Aug 7, 2006



I imagine getting a letter asking you if it'd be alright to mst3k your movie must've been a lot like getting a phone call from Weird Al asking if he could parody your movie

The Ape of Naples
Jul 24, 2007
This Goon is a Dumb Prick!

Grimey Drawer

Calaveron posted:

I imagine getting a letter asking you if it'd be alright to mst3k your movie must've been a lot like getting a phone call from Weird Al asking if he could parody your movie

I suppose but Weird Al parodies everyone. If Weird Al covers one of your songs it's not because they're bad. Besides Michael Jackson's "Bad". MST3k on the other hand goes for movies that are, as the song goes, "cheesy" and "the worst [they] can find". That said, I think most people know when they have a bad movie on their hands and would be fine with being riffed. Except for Joe Don Baker. It exposes them to a much bigger audience than they could ever hope for and I know I don't really judge the people for making a bad movie.

The Ape of Naples fucked around with this message at Jul 26, 2016 around 15:25

Evil Mastermind
Apr 28, 2008

You pick up the nugget of URANIUM and...

Oh that was so stupid. Why would you do that?


Calaveron posted:

I imagine getting a letter asking you if it'd be alright to mst3k your movie must've been a lot like getting a phone call from Weird Al asking if he could parody your movie

Well, there was that whole thing with Hobgoblins...

Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

World-changing power, absolutely no side effects!

I don't think anyone who's heard about even a fraction of the behind-the-scenes sausage is going to really judge when most people make bad movies. People working with a budget of pocket change and donuts stolen from the boardroom aren't going to make Indiana Jones.

Franchescanado
Feb 23, 2013

If it wasn't for disappointment,
I wouldn't have any appointment.


Bruceski posted:

People working with a budget of pocket change and donuts stolen from the boardroom aren't going to make Indiana Jones.

Can't say I agree...

bunnyofdoom
Mar 29, 2008



Bruceski posted:

I don't think anyone who's heard about even a fraction of the behind-the-scenes sausage is going to really judge when most people make bad movies. People working with a budget of pocket change and donuts stolen from the boardroom aren't going to make Indiana Jones.

I mean on the other hand clerks was pretty good.




Clerks 2 blew tho.

ZZT the Fifth
Dec 5, 2006
I shot the invisible swordsman.

I kind of enjoyed Operation Double 007 just for how odd it was. Well, that, and the score by Ennio Morricone. How'd he end up working on this?

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Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

World-changing power, absolutely no side effects!


Dangit, I shoulda remembered about that.

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