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Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



Muldoon

nice guy stories please

quote:

A loose female acquaintance of mine calls me at 1:00am today and asks me if I could print something on the computer for her and bring it over in the afternoon. "Hey yeah sure sure, whatever you need I'll help you, I'm all yours," I tell her. She sends me this file and lo and behold I can't open it. It's made in Microsoft Publisher and I don't have that program so I begin panicing, trying to find this program or a way to print the file. Scouring the internet yields no results and I do my usual pacing in my room.

I finally come up with an idea and I tell the girl, if I can proceed with it. The plan was I would carry my printer about 2miles to her house, print out the needed pages, maybe talk to her a bit while I was there. I was hoping for at least a hug out of this ordeal.

By the time I get there, I'm wet all over from sweating in the +90 degree heat outside and carrying a heavy motherfucking HP Deskjet printer. The first thing I see upon entering her room (my first time in a girl's bedroom) are some panties on her bed.

After the initial shock of seeing such a horrific sight for the first time, I setup the printer and get my job done. However, I did consider sniffing the lingere when she left the room once, but with the wuss that I am, I just ended up staring at them the whole while. That was a sarcastic joke for those of you too stupid to realize that

To make a long story short, just as I was finishing up with the printing job (which was hefty), her boyfriend and his gay friend walk in, say hello, and begin hanging out in the room as they waited for the girl to finish this work so they could go to the mall.

This effectively ruins my chances of getting a hug and I walk another 2 miles home with the motherfucking printer in hand. The only thing that I got out of this were some very painful fingers and a "thanks" as I walked out her bedroom door.

So, am I pathetic for doing all these things? It wouldn't be the first time I've pledged my heart and soul to a girl and gotten back almost nothing in return. I would hate turning her or anyone else I knew down or making up some lie.

quote:

There was this guy in first year... I was pretty lonely and desperate for friends so we hung out all the time even though he was kind of odd. He started off being really kind to me, bringing me food and hanging out with me when I was super depressed.
But it kind of escalated, he'd be at my apartment all the time uninvited, force his way in, or corner me in public even when I obviously wanted to be alone. I was polite, but the guy wasn't picking up on it.
The final straw was me mentioning that I had been sexually assaulted (I'm pretty open about this, but it's sensitive) and him going "That's okay, my parents always told me to buy used." After that, I started wearing a massive raincoat around campus so that he wouldn't see me or talk to me.
Effing creep.
Edit: I will follow up to this story by explaining that the only time I ran into him after this, pretty much, was as members of the same club. We barely talked until Valentine's Day, when he messaged me the following: "I know you have a boyfriend, but I am madly in love with you and want you to break it off with him for me."



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Renegret
May 26, 2007


THANK YOU FOR CALLING HELP DOG, INC.

YOUR POSITION IN THE QUEUE IS *pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt*


Grimey Drawer


haha holy poo poo

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008



Grimey Drawer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nDq1HoNm-E

Nooner
Mar 26, 2007

AN A+ POSTER (:

Ratjaculation posted:

nice guy stories please







this is why 2D>3D

Ape Fist
Feb 23, 2007

Nowadays, you can do anything that you want; anal, oral, fisting, but you need to be wearing gloves, condoms, protection.



Soup du Journey
Mar 20, 2006

Hi guys I've realized that Judaism is the right way to go and i'm converting!!! I'm making aliyah to Israel and want some hot guys to "cum" with me I hope they have gloryholes in Tel Aviv! Shalom!

ok so anorexia and mental illness in general is no joke but theres something totally effin hot about a chick wholl suck spaghetti outta me dick to live

Nooner
Mar 26, 2007

AN A+ POSTER (:

I think that im a pretty nice guy but I also like having unprotected sex with hot slam pieces which fukking owns btw.

Krypt-OOO-Nite!!
Oct 25, 2010


"my parents always told me to buy used"

Stealing this line.....Can't wait to get the chance use it.

RobattoJesus
Aug 13, 2002



Full sexual communism now. I'm tired of the 1% hoarding all the vaginas while the noble bearded internet Marxist works his fingers to the bone posting and then has to settle for masturbating to that one time he saw his sisters friend's boob by accident.

Schlonged Again
Jan 30, 2016



mods, i know people say this all the time in jest, but i'm being completely serious right now: please change my name to Davey Douchefuck

Mandator
Aug 27, 2007


Could you guys please stop doxxing me?

Mandator
Aug 27, 2007


PM = PRIVATE message

Dave_Indeed
Feb 22, 2004

by FactsAreUseless


Am I Davey Douchefuck?

It sounds like me.

The General
Mar 4, 2007

So gentlemen, we meet again.


Wasn't that printer story a goon? Also, if you're going to haul a printer for miles for a girl, at least make sure she's single before you go. Or maybe be bi, so you could bang her boyfriends gay friend. That story never ceases to make me laugh though.

Also, I'd gently caress that anorexic chick fat.

George H.W. Cunt
Oct 6, 2010


The General posted:

Wasn't that printer story a goon? Also, if you're going to haul a printer for miles for a girl, at least make sure she's single before you go. Or maybe be bi, so you could bang her boyfriends gay friend. That story never ceases to make me laugh though.

Also, I'd gently caress that anorexic chick fat.

loving her fat then dumping her because she's become a slam whale epic move

lorn Wayne
Jan 7, 2006

Take your, heh, SHOT at world domination

here's me (i'm the girl) lol just kidding, i'm the shoe in the background

Soup du Journey
Mar 20, 2006

Hi guys I've realized that Judaism is the right way to go and i'm converting!!! I'm making aliyah to Israel and want some hot guys to "cum" with me I hope they have gloryholes in Tel Aviv! Shalom!

The General posted:

Wasn't that printer story a goon? Also, if you're going to haul a printer for miles for a girl, at least make sure she's single before you go. Or maybe be bi, so you could bang her boyfriends gay friend. That story never ceases to make me laugh though.

Also, I'd gently caress that anorexic chick fat.

yeah he was a goon and then he killed himself

Jose
Jul 24, 2007



in the op voted 5

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008



Grimey Drawer

Jose posted:

in the op voted 5

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHGCRDUAJkg

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

Look at those little otters, lil cuties


He needed to kill himself

Like a disgraced samurai committing ritual suicide

The General
Mar 4, 2007

So gentlemen, we meet again.


Doctor Schnabel posted:

yeah he was a goon and then he killed himself

Been wanting to try that out for a bunch of years now. Is that the secret? Carrying a printer for 2 miles for a "thank you."?

I just don't understand his desire for a hug though. You open your arms and approach, pretty much all my friends will hug me. Unless you're sweaty as gently caress from walking carrying a printer for an hour (or more? How far is a mile in a unit that makes sense?)

Kuato
Feb 25, 2005

COMFY FLEECE SWEATERS ALT ACCOUNT

Buglord

"Nice" guys are real creepy IMO. Now openly creepy guys are OK in my book though, at least they shoot straight.

Gaunab
Feb 13, 2012



What about nice gals?

various cheeses
Jan 24, 2013



Doctor Schnabel posted:

yeah he was a goon and then he killed himself

He finally put that printer down.

Rest easy brave goon

extra stout
Feb 24, 2005


the destruction and evolution of language is a weird thing, it is now better to represent your flaws and perversion than to risk being associated with the millions of adult virgins who write fan fics about being kind to a woman until she becomes his slave

when i meet girls from tinder i say 'im not a nice guy' then i start leaning against my car like george costanza in the bad boy george episode

RobattoJesus
Aug 13, 2002



Gaunab posted:

What about nice gals?

They don't exist because all women are fundamentally evil hell demons who should be locked in a submarine and sank to the bottom of the sea.

Source: I'm a nice guy.

Vastarien
Dec 20, 2012

Where I live is nightmare, thus a certain nonchalance.


Buglord

Gaunab posted:

What about nice gals?

fatties

ArbitraryC
Jan 28, 2009



Pillbug

Gaunab posted:

What about nice gals?

It's just the fat acceptance movement, same pattern of logic and entitlement

Whatev
Jan 19, 2007

unfading


Gaunab posted:

What about nice gals?

Those are the girls who try to flirt by saying they don't get along with other women and have no female friends. do not trust them.

a dog from hell
Oct 18, 2009

by zen death robot


You can look at girls and nobody can stop you. It's pretty pleasant in its own right and you can be as perverted and blatant about it as you wish.

But touch them and all bets are off. Imprisonment, rabies, struck by lightning, alimony and being banned from the premises are just a few of the dangers associated with touching women.

Just take a gander and if one looks back smile a toothy goon grin. Maybe she smiles too. Pleasure without pain.

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008



Grimey Drawer

a dog from hell posted:

You can look at girls and nobody can stop you. It's pretty pleasant in its own right and you can be as perverted and blatant about it as you wish.

But touch them and all bets are off. Imprisonment, rabies, struck by lightning, alimony and being banned from the premises are just a few of the dangers associated with touching women.

Just take a gander and if one looks back smile a toothy goon grin. Maybe she smiles too. Pleasure without pain.

what the gently caress is wrong with you?

a dog from hell
Oct 18, 2009

by zen death robot


Mumpy Puffinz posted:

what the gently caress is wrong with you?

Everything.

RobattoJesus
Aug 13, 2002



I'm checking out all the women in this thread right now.

Or at very least all the dudes with long hair who kinda look like women from behind.

yogizh
Oct 12, 2015

Whose face you're wearing today ?


Used to do things for my female friends, then I learned that women have no clue how to be real friends.

a dog from hell
Oct 18, 2009

by zen death robot


*makes a silly joke*

Some Guy: What the #@$! is wrong with you!?!?

Pick
Jul 19, 2009

ESB BG17 OK


Honestly, the biggest issue is that they never follow up by asking us out. There are lots of nice guys I'd have dated if they'd ever asked, but they didn't.

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008



Grimey Drawer


fair enough.

Pick
Jul 19, 2009

ESB BG17 OK


Nice guys also seem to spend a lot of time angrily imagining women having sex with other men, even when we're like... not doing that. They're sure we are though.

ArbitraryC
Jan 28, 2009



Pillbug

Pick posted:

Honestly, the biggest issue is that they never follow up by asking us out. There are lots of nice guys I'd have dated if they'd ever asked, but they didn't.

They're probably internet people who have had it repeatedly drilled into their heads that taking the initiative and being openly interested in a woman who hasn't given you explicit permission to do so is basically sexual harassment, hence why they think the successful dudes who do these things are "jerks" who "don't respect women".

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Whatev
Jan 19, 2007

unfading


ArbitraryC posted:

They're probably internet people who have had it repeatedly drilled into their heads that taking the initiative and being openly interested in a woman who hasn't given you explicit permission to do so is basically sexual harassment, hence why they think the successful dudes who do these things are "jerks" who "don't respect women".
I think it's much more than they are dickless little babies who are terrified or rejection

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