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Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

Mah spoon is too big!


WrenP-Complete posted:

The anti choice activists by Metro Center scared the poo poo out of me on Saturday by coming up behind me riding a unicycle and then asking me to help them fight abortions. The man on the loudspeaker said that abortions cost less than $50. *sigh*

So what you're telling me is that not only is Pepe a white supremacist or something, but Dat Boi is a Fundamentalist?

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mind the walrus
Sep 22, 2006



It's more like they fell in with a bad crowd cause the money was good

WrenP-Complete
Jul 27, 2012



Some in the ladies thread suggested that their unicycling was good because it would be easy to push them over, but I was not in any kind of mood to commit an assault.

Race Realists
Sep 23, 2012


Do not ever think of posting in The Great Space Race again!

Put this racist on ignore immediately!


Dapper_Swindler posted:

what the loving hell. also lol what a cuck.

lol it's obvious whoever wrote it and the original probably went through a bad divorce or something

Mak0rz
Aug 2, 2008



WrenP-Complete posted:

Some in the ladies thread suggested that their unicycling was good because it would be easy to push them over, but I was not in any kind of mood to commit an assault.

They also probably expect you to assault them so they can try to sue the poo poo out of you so yeah don't touch that poop.

WrenP-Complete
Jul 27, 2012



They actually came up behind me and started talking and started me. I was walking to meet a blind date. The conversation went like:
Hi, do you want to join me in fighting against abortion?
(Wren jumps.) What? No thank you.
Sorry for scaring you. (Tries to hand brochure) ... Oh. Okay.

ikanreed
Sep 25, 2009

Rise and shine, master leprechaun.




You whore bitches don't deserve a nice foetus like me.

Dreddout
Oct 1, 2015

You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.


Breetai posted:

So what you're telling me is that not only is Pepe a white supremacist or something, but Dat Boi is a Fundamentalist?

You don't even want to know what Feels Guy gets up to!

Arcsquad12
Mar 4, 2013

I Love Satan


I saw the Ottawa slut walk the other day and saw a boob or two and I didn't turn into a frothing nice guy who hates women for dating Chad. That's my story

green chicken feet
Nov 5, 2015

spray-paint the vegetables
dog food stalls
with the beefcake pantyhose

Grimey Drawer

Arcsquad12 posted:

I saw the Ottawa slut walk the other day and saw a boob or two and I didn't turn into a frothing nice guy who hates women for dating Chad. That's my story

Of course a guy with a Chad av would say this. You see boobs every time you go on a date. You don't know the pain of a man who will never see boobs other than his own.

Arcsquad12
Mar 4, 2013

I Love Satan


Not my fault I was born an elephant child who is six foot three with a nine inch chode. Git gud nice guys

ikanreed
Sep 25, 2009

Rise and shine, master leprechaun.




Arcsquad12 posted:

Not my fault I was born an elephant child who is six foot three with a nine inch chode. Git gud nice guys

No, you're a man, so it can't be your fault.

It's your whore mom's fault for sleeping with your Chad-dad

superjew
Sep 5, 2007

No fair! You changed the outcome by measuring it!


I still can't get over those mspaint comix. I feel a mix of pity and revulsion seeing those panels where the straw-whore is bathing in Chad's cummies.

I find the ones that show the straw-whore kissing the nice guy ten years after swallowing some hunk's load particularly revolting.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


lazorexplosion posted:

I'm the guy who makes Chad Thundercock yelling 'nice tits!' look attractive in comparison.

This guys has it down.

Khazar-khum
Oct 22, 2008

Cat Army
2nd Battalion


lazorexplosion posted:

I like this one:



"watching you from the shadows"

Congratulations, you're a stalker.

a dog from hell
Oct 18, 2009

by zen death robot


Leroy Dennui posted:

It doesn't need to There were just things about that excerpt that struck me as being "nice guy"-esque, like how he refuses to be separated from his waifu and the way he uses the word "whore."

Is whore not an acceptable word to use in its proper definition now?

And Yoko/Lennon weirdness aside, he's right. Sex is trivial compared to the comfort a relationship can bring.

lazorexplosion
Mar 19, 2016






Kids, don't watch anime.

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

One Potato to rule them all,
One Potato to find them,
One Potato to bring them all
And in the darkness bind them.




Bread Liar

Do these freaks work from a loving script?


*recoils back in disgust from the undiluted AUG before him*

Mak0rz
Aug 2, 2008



Gorilla Salad posted:

Do these freaks work from a loving script?

*wrings hands nervously* n-.. no! of course not! *begins to sweat*

ranbo das
Oct 16, 2013

Who would win in a fight: 100 duck-sized horses, or one horse-sized duck?

~SMcD

*frantically types several paragraphs about just how much he doesn't care*

extra stout
Feb 24, 2005

ISILDUR's ERR


the last few of those screenshots absolutely cannot be real

its exactly how i forum post, it cant be someone's reality

Kashuno
Oct 9, 2012

Where the hell is my SWORD?


Grimey Drawer

*smokes a bowl*

extra stout
Feb 24, 2005

ISILDUR's ERR


Kashuno posted:

*smokes a bowl*

the one guy actually types the way i used to do rodney dangerfield posts in gbs

*tugs at collar of shirt anxiously*

*sweats profusely, eyes bulge in alarm at the challenges of dating women*

*gets no respect*

etc

Counterparts
Dec 2, 2006

Nobody's Hero


So the nice guy is just straight up admitting how anxious and nervous he is there. That's at least refreshing, even if it's done using infuriatingly lame action asterisks.

Wicker Man
Sep 5, 2007

Just like Columbus...




Clapping Larry

JVNO posted:

So the nice guy is just straight up admitting how anxious and nervous he is there. That's at least refreshing, even if it's done using infuriatingly lame action asterisks.

His heart is probably about to jump out of his throat from the anxiety.

WrenP-Complete
Jul 27, 2012



Is that what it is? My mind just goes blank when reading those anxiety rants.

Wicker Man
Sep 5, 2007

Just like Columbus...




Clapping Larry

WrenP-Complete posted:

Is that what it is? My mind just goes blank when reading those anxiety rants.

Although I've never gotten THAT bad, I've had my share of that crap in highschool. He probably thought it would be more charming and cute to blatantly state it like that (and being honest about it helps take some stress off of him personally).

Zulily Zoetrope
Jun 1, 2011





Muldoon

There may well be a time and place where it's admirable to admit you're super anxious, but using action asterisks on a public Facebook post is fo deff not it.

WrenP-Complete
Jul 27, 2012



I have never been so happy to have had single sex education.

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

One Potato to rule them all,
One Potato to find them,
One Potato to bring them all
And in the darkness bind them.




Bread Liar

Mak0rz posted:

*wrings hands nervously* n-.. no! of course not! *begins to sweat*

Although it really wouldn't surprise me if these creeps actually did have a literal script for talking to girls, I meant that so many of these go in one of the same few ways that you can usually tell exactly where a conversation will go after about two replies.

There're the ones who try to stick a whole thesaurus in their posts like they're trying to stun their intended. Like those guys who go hunting for worms with car batteries.

And the ones who go from 0 to 100 miles per horrible in the space of two seconds when their initial post isn't replied to immediately or the girl doesn't fall for their "charms".

Then there're the totally clueless anime kids who toss in every possible reference to the children's media they consume or their favourite rapeime.

Megillah Gorilla fucked around with this message at 15:55 on Sep 20, 2016

ikanreed
Sep 25, 2009

Rise and shine, master leprechaun.




Look, you tie yourself into these insular (almost all male) internet based social groups to hide from the difficulty of normal social interaction.

Then the normal, social part of your brain that is modestly healthy if you weren't terrified of normal people starts learning ingroup signifiers from the other shut ins. Unconsciously you integrate them into your own behavior, and your stupid shut in group rewards you for it.

Normal people get put way the gently caress off.

It's not really any different from the people who throw God and Jesus into every conversation in a way that seems creepy to non-evangelicals. Or if that rear end in a top hat who talks only in memes opens their mouth in person.

Edit: it's like sanctimoniously explaining basic social rules is for goons.

blarzgh
Apr 14, 2009

zzZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZzz
ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzZZZZZZzz
zzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZzzzZZZ


Grimey Drawer

Talking to people on the internet is like talking through thin walls. If thats all you ever do, you never learn the other 90% of interpersonal communication.

ikanreed
Sep 25, 2009

Rise and shine, master leprechaun.




blarzgh posted:

Talking to people on the internet is like talking through thin walls. If thats all you ever do, you never learn the other 90% of interpersonal communication.

The internet makes you stupid, if you will.

blarzgh
Apr 14, 2009

zzZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZzz
ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzZZZZZZzz
zzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZzzzZZZ


Grimey Drawer

ikanreed posted:

The internet makes you stupid, if you will.

*shakes fist! *tips fedora and removes steampunk goggles *exclaims like supervillian: Dammit, you're right!" *masturbates with own tears!*

KomodoWagon
May 10, 2013



so uh hi lol *clears throat* how are you doin uhh lol *imagines breaking into your apartment and raping you* haha hope your doing great

Quote-Unquote
Oct 21, 2002



Hey, um *nervously looks around* I just want to say that, um, err *wipes tiny bead of sweat that has trickled down forehead and is nestling uncomfortably in left eyebrow, teetering precariously on a follicle and threatening to glide down nose and form a glistening zit-like appendage to philtrum* ahem, sorry, let's start over; would you like to (notice how I used a semicolon there? Not many people know how to use those properly in a sentence!) maybe, I dunno... oh gee this is difficult *checks pocketwatch, observes how slowly time moves during periods of high stress such as this*... maybe get a coffee some time? *runs away crying*

Counterparts
Dec 2, 2006

Nobody's Hero


ikanreed posted:

Look, you tie yourself into these insular (almost all male) internet based social groups to hide from the difficulty of normal social interaction.

Then the normal, social part of your brain that is modestly healthy if you weren't terrified of normal people starts learning ingroup signifiers from the other shut ins. Unconsciously you integrate them into your own behavior, and your stupid shut in group rewards you for it.

Normal people get put way the gently caress off.

Yeah- it kind of took enlisting in the military and making new friends outside my circle of geeky rear end high school D&D friends before I shed a lot of this bullshit. I was an incredibly shy and insecure dude who had a really bad case of resting bitch face, so it was like a double whammy of bad social matters + everyone thought I hated them (but I was just shy).

I'm reminded of an old essay on the 'Geek Social Fallacies', which were so on point and accurate to my life when I read it that it actually changed me. so I started acting confident, going to parties and clubs, and making new friends.

Drugs helped too.

superjew
Sep 5, 2007

No fair! You changed the outcome by measuring it!


Kashuno posted:

*smokes a bowl*

Actually I think smoking weed was instrumental in the end of my sadbrain nice guy phase.

Quick, someone cross-reference red pill posters with whatever the weed reddit is and see if there's a steady migration.

*clicks Submit Reply*

ikanreed
Sep 25, 2009

Rise and shine, master leprechaun.




*he opens up the reply dialog, vainly hoping that his penchant for narrating his thoughts with purple prose wouldn't once again sabotage his chance at happiness yet again*
Hi
*Reflecting deeply on his misery at the difficulty and complexity the relatively simple social task of extending a greeting ahead of his larger incoming missive has already caused him, he plunged forward*
I was wondering if you knew how beautiful you were.
*Hopefully this slut will recognize his kindness in complimenting her and see what trash she's currently dating. The thought traced elegant spirals through his head as he reflected on his skill at manipulating the primitive female psyche.*
And if you could finally get around to replying to me I've got a cool board game collection to show you.
*The difficulty of this task was causing a small puddle of cold sweat to fall upon his asus gaming laptop, every keystroke a challenge for his impressive intellect to perfect. This time, this girl he's obsessed with will get it. She'll appreciate his genius to the extent her smaller brain allows. And, ha, the fact that she's a slut who's dated more than one man, this time it will work in his favor*

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Counterparts
Dec 2, 2006

Nobody's Hero


superjew posted:

Actually I think smoking weed was instrumental in the end of my sadbrain nice guy phase.

Me too. That and ecstasy- the latter only because you can't be socially anxious on it, and I was able to learn the lesson 'Oh, just being friendly, smiling, and outgoing is enough to make friends!' rather than 'I need to use ecstasy to make friends'.

The bad thing about weed is it can eventually loop back around and make you an insular pissbaby who lacks any motivation to do anything beyond smoking + video games. And if you ever deal, prepare to lose some friends who will now only ever visit if they need to buy

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