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WrenP-Complete
Jul 27, 2012

Grand Prize Winner posted:

Any other nice guys in recovery have real weird self-esteem issues? Every time a girl's into me I immediately start trying to spot flaws in her character/appearance. If I don't spot any I start making them up. Once I've made a big enough list I drop all communication. This usually takes about 4-6 hours from first meeting her.

I guess I am the whore bitch now.

No seriously though how do I stop doing that

Hello what kind of recovery are you meaning?

Edit: Oh from being a nice guy, never mind.

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Boomzilla
Dec 2, 2007

Grand Prize Winner posted:

Any other nice guys in recovery have real weird self-esteem issues? Every time a girl's into me I immediately start trying to spot flaws in her character/appearance. If I don't spot any I start making them up. Once I've made a big enough list I drop all communication. This usually takes about 4-6 hours from first meeting her.

I guess I am the whore bitch now.

No seriously though how do I stop doing that

Maybe realizing that everyone is kinda poo poo, including you, and that if you give people a chance to gently caress up proper before you give up, rather than dismissing them immediately, you might enjoy your life more might help?

GhostFromTheHellz
Sep 13, 2016

by Smythe

WrenP-Complete posted:

Hello what kind of recovery are you meaning?

Edit: Oh from being a nice guy, never mind.

Abilitation, Healthy Love, Unconditional <2, Peaceful Rehabilitation, Consensual Enjoyment, Adventurous Amazements.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QsWbrkHQVDQ

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

Bamabalacha
Sep 18, 2006

Outta my way, ya dumb rah-rah!

Grand Prize Winner posted:

Any other nice guys in recovery have real weird self-esteem issues? Every time a girl's into me I immediately start trying to spot flaws in her character/appearance. If I don't spot any I start making them up. Once I've made a big enough list I drop all communication. This usually takes about 4-6 hours from first meeting her.

I guess I am the whore bitch now.

No seriously though how do I stop doing that

Massive amounts of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy?

tater_salad
Sep 15, 2007


Thank you for writing that out...in this thread cbt could go either way.

Groovelord Neato
Dec 6, 2014


Grand Prize Winner posted:

Any other nice guys in recovery have real weird self-esteem issues? Every time a girl's into me I immediately start trying to spot flaws in her character/appearance. If I don't spot any I start making them up. Once I've made a big enough list I drop all communication. This usually takes about 4-6 hours from first meeting her.

I guess I am the whore bitch now.

No seriously though how do I stop doing that

seems like an opposite response people tend to be more attractive when i think they want me.

Stinky_Pete
Aug 16, 2015

Stinkier than your average bear
Lipstick Apathy

Grand Prize Winner posted:

Any other nice guys in recovery have real weird self-esteem issues? Every time a girl's into me I immediately start trying to spot flaws in her character/appearance. If I don't spot any I start making them up. Once I've made a big enough list I drop all communication. This usually takes about 4-6 hours from first meeting her.

I guess I am the whore bitch now.

No seriously though how do I stop doing that

Yeah I do that. "She seems to like me. Uh-oh, what's wrong with her?"

But luckily it's all in my head and I can just push it away

tater_salad posted:

Thank you for writing that out...in this thread cbt could go either way.

what's the other one?

Grand Prize Winner
Feb 19, 2007


tater_salad posted:

Thank you for writing that out...in this thread cbt could go either way.

Tried the other one and it didn't work

tater_salad
Sep 15, 2007


Stinky_Pete posted:

what's the other one?

Cock and ball torture.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007

What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Grand Prize Winner posted:

Any other nice guys in recovery have real weird self-esteem issues? Every time a girl's into me I immediately start trying to spot flaws in her character/appearance. If I don't spot any I start making them up. Once I've made a big enough list I drop all communication. This usually takes about 4-6 hours from first meeting her.

I guess I am the whore bitch now.

No seriously though how do I stop doing that

Years of therapy and learning to love yourself. I guess you could try shrooms and intense introspection as a really ghetto option.

lohli
Jun 30, 2008

Grand Prize Winner posted:

Any other nice guys in recovery have real weird self-esteem issues? Every time a girl's into me I immediately start trying to spot flaws in her character/appearance. If I don't spot any I start making them up. Once I've made a big enough list I drop all communication. This usually takes about 4-6 hours from first meeting her.

I guess I am the whore bitch now.

No seriously though how do I stop doing that

Noticing that people have flaws is not unreasonable.

But you're not just not giving them a chance by letting whatever negatives, real and imagined, crowd out all the more obvious good stuff and the prospective positives, but you're actively doing it in a way that seems like conscious self-sabotage.

You either feel lovely enough about yourself that you feel you have to make other people seem lovely, in your mind at least, to feel like you're somehow on par with or better than others, and in doing so you quash any attraction to them because you've put so much effort into making them unattractive.

Or you feel lovely enough about yourself that you feel you're undeserving, but narcissism keeps you from saying "He/She's out of my league"/"I don't deserve to be happy" and has you performing the mental gymnastics of needing to make them seem lovely to avoid completely destroying what little sense of self-worth you have left and slumping into full blown misery/depression.

Those two assume that you are/were a run of the mill self-aggrandising narcissistic "nice guy", whether the narcissism is inbuilt or developed as a coping mechanism I have no idea, but you should probably get some therapy to work through your issues.

Get a job and do some exercise if you don't already, they will do wonders for your self-esteem, but mostly get professional help.

burial
Sep 13, 2002

actually, that won't be necessary.

Travis343 posted:

Nice and kind: Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra
Nice and unkind: Shaka, when the walls fell
Not nice and kind: Temba, his arms wide
Not nice and not kind: Sokath, his eyes uncovered

I can't officially reward you in any way, but that was masterful.

Facebook Aunt
Oct 4, 2008

wiggle wiggle




Sweet As Sin posted:

This just came up on my facebook feed



That thumb is hosed up.

The Saurus
Dec 3, 2006

by Smythe

WrenP-Complete posted:

Oh it just occurred to me that my work email is public here because I'm recruiting for my study. You can message me at psychedelicsresearch@gmail.com, it's a team email, so just explain who you are and I'll contact you from my personal address.

Does this mean that you'll send me psychedelics to take if I offer to be a guinea pig for you??

I'm in

The Saurus
Dec 3, 2006

by Smythe
God Damnit even loving Ancient Rome had Chadius Thundercockus:

Pompeiian Graffiti posted:

"Floronius, privileged soldier of the 7th legion, was here. The women did not know of his presence. Only six women came to know, too few for such a stallion."

Wicker Man
Sep 5, 2007

Just like Columbus...


Clapping Larry

The Saurus posted:

God Damnit even loving Ancient Rome had Chadius Thundercockus:

At least back then you might have a chance at tasting the thunder uourself.

The Saurus
Dec 3, 2006

by Smythe
o poo poo they had nice guys too:

quote:

Cruel Lalagus, why do you not love me?

quote:

Let everyone one in love come and see. I want to break Venus’ ribs with clubs and cripple the goddess’ loins. If she can strike through my soft chest, then why can’t I smash her head with a club?

quote:

Sarra, you are not being very nice, leaving me all alone like this

quote:

Take hold of your servant girl whenever you want to; it’s your right

And More Chads

quote:

I screwed a lot of girls here.

quote:

Gaius Valerius Venustus, soldier of the 1st praetorian cohort, in the century of Rufus, screwer of women

quote:

On June 15th, Hermeros screwed here with Phileterus and Caphisus.

Pretty amazing to see the exact same poo poo going on thousands of years ago. Nothing is new.

The Saurus fucked around with this message at 03:53 on Sep 14, 2016

phasmid
Jan 16, 2015

Booty Shaker
SILENT MAJORITY

The Saurus posted:

Pretty amazing to see the exact same poo poo going on thousands of years ago. Nothing is new.
Imagine the near-Harry-Potter level of raptors carrying scrolls to your house while across town a lovestruck Caius bares his soul on parchment even though he knows you're with Gaius.

The Saurus
Dec 3, 2006

by Smythe
A loose female acquaintance of mine sends a slave messenger at 1:00am today and asks me if I could chisel something on a Tabulae for her and bring it over in the afternoon. "Hey yeah sure sure, whatever you need I'll help you, I'm all yours," I tell her. She sends me this diptych and lo and behold I can't chisel it. It's written in Greek with circles and curves and I only have a straight chisel so I begin panicking, trying to find a greek slave or a way to chisel the letters. Scouring the vicus yields no results and I do my usual pacing in my Insula.


I finally come up with an idea and I tell the girl, if I can proceed with it. The plan was I would carry my stone tabulae about 2 miles to her house, chisel out the needed letters, maybe talk to her a bit while I was there. I was hoping for at least a hug out of this ordeal.


By the time I get there, I'm wet all over from sweating in the malarial swamp and carrying a heavy motherfucking stone tabulae. The first thing I see upon entering her room (my first time in a girl's bedroom) is a mamillare on her bed.

Waterbed Wendy
Jan 29, 2009
Let's form a Phallanx, baby. From thigh to neck, sugar.

Grand Prize Winner
Feb 19, 2007


lohli posted:

Get a job and do some exercise if you don't already, they will do wonders for your self-esteem, but mostly get professional help.

Have both already. Not claiming to be some kind of adonis or anything but I'm ok physically and apparently put out a decent personality online because I get a decent amount of matches or whatever online and pick up a number every now and then at the local bars (one weird trick: talk to women like they're people instead of trolls guarding the precious vagina. this will make the troll guarding the precious vagina more likely to give the precious vagina). After doing some soul-searching bullshit maybe it's more that I chicken out and then try to think of excuses.


Sorry, this is not my personal E/N thread and really this derail is less interesting than the accents one. But also thanks I guess?


vvv: will do, thanks.

Grand Prize Winner fucked around with this message at 05:31 on Sep 14, 2016

The Saurus
Dec 3, 2006

by Smythe
Try pretending to be an Australian man named John.

Rags to Liches
Mar 11, 2008

future skeleton soldier


The Saurus posted:

A loose female acquaintance of mine sends a slave messenger at 1:00am today and asks me if I could chisel something on a Tabulae for her and bring it over in the afternoon. "Hey yeah sure sure, whatever you need I'll help you, I'm all yours," I tell her. She sends me this diptych and lo and behold I can't chisel it. It's written in Greek with circles and curves and I only have a straight chisel so I begin panicking, trying to find a greek slave or a way to chisel the letters. Scouring the vicus yields no results and I do my usual pacing in my Insula.


I finally come up with an idea and I tell the girl, if I can proceed with it. The plan was I would carry my stone tabulae about 2 miles to her house, chisel out the needed letters, maybe talk to her a bit while I was there. I was hoping for at least a hug out of this ordeal.


By the time I get there, I'm wet all over from sweating in the malarial swamp and carrying a heavy motherfucking stone tabulae. The first thing I see upon entering her room (my first time in a girl's bedroom) is a mamillare on her bed.

This isn't getting nearly enough love.

Blue Raider
Sep 2, 2006

i posted some bs in this thread like a month ago. have yall autismal mfers figured out how to talk to a female yet

Wicker Man
Sep 5, 2007

Just like Columbus...


Clapping Larry

Sp1r0_Agn3W posted:

i posted some bs in this thread like a month ago. have yall autismal mfers figured out how to talk to a female yet

I think we scared all the girls out of here, (kicks can, adjusts backwards cap, and walks with hands in pockets )

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007

What God wants, God gets, God help us all
One of my loves came to me today to engage my services as an orator. It was the delectable little Carthaginian specimen with the perfect amphora figure and that cute little nose ring that I met last time I went to market. Well, I flubbed a joke about doing a little "orating" on her after the job was done, but she just looked sort of confused and changed the subject.

She handed me a few vellum sheets and I was devastated to learn that they were missives from my little Aphrodite's lover. Yes, she has a lover! What's worse, is now I had to read this insipid drivel out loud in front of the woman I love! How mortifying! I am a professional, however, so I took my coins and read the letters from some "Caius Priapus-cock" despite how much anguish it caused me inside.

I delivered my services with such fervor and passion, it was as if Eros himself were reciting the phrases, praising the beauty of my precious darling, and not faltering even when the words turned to describing vulgar acts I'm certain she's much too pure to partake in. Ophelia, I learned her name from its repeated use in the letters, stood spellbound as I executed my contract. I was so caught up in the emotion of the moment that when the final letter was ended, I embraced my fair Ophelia and kissed her passionately.

We hung there, suspended in ecstasy for a moment, until her cruel knee smashed into my groin. She gathered her letters as I lay on the ground and she left without a word, looking terribly embarrassed. I tried to apologize for my forwardness but only croaks came out of my throat as I lie curled on the ground. Oh, why are girls so gods damned complicated! I was so mad that when I got home I punched a hole in my slave.

Diary of Scorus Nihilus, Orator

Pvt.Scott fucked around with this message at 05:32 on Sep 14, 2016

Blue Raider
Sep 2, 2006

Wicker Man posted:

I think we scared all the girls out of here, (kicks can, adjusts backwards cap, and walks with hands in pockets )

dont fret friend, your queen is just around the corner (of gamestop)

phasmid
Jan 16, 2015

Booty Shaker
SILENT MAJORITY

Pvt.Scott posted:

Diary of Scorus Nihilus, Orator

Cicero's brother wrote a go-to book on defaming your rivals. Apparently it was good enough for Cicero to refer to himself. Mr. Scores-None could prolly take a page out without goin' Cato on poor Breakshisbacksimus.

personable decorum
Sep 7, 2016

by FactsAreUseless

phasmid posted:

Cicero's brother wrote a go-to book on defaming your rivals. Apparently it was good enough for Cicero to refer to himself. Mr. Scores-None could prolly take a page out without goin' Cato on poor Breakshisbacksimus.

Ovid's Wraths is a good poem, lots of fire and brimstone.

poisonpill
Nov 8, 2009

The only way to get huge fast is to insult a passing witch and hope she curses you with Beast-strength.


Mods please change my name to Caius Priapus

dads_work_files
May 14, 2008

important_document.avi

I'm Gaius.

KomodoWagon
May 10, 2013

by R. Guyovich

The Saurus posted:

o poo poo they had nice guys too:





And More Chads




Pretty amazing to see the exact same poo poo going on thousands of years ago. Nothing is new.

Most of those are gay. I'm a huge prick

WrenP-Complete
Jul 27, 2012

The Saurus posted:

Does this mean that you'll send me psychedelics to take if I offer to be a guinea pig for you??

I'm in

Nah, sorry, that would be illegal. I do survey research on people who do psychedelics. You are welcome to join our control group if you like, though.

fivethree
Jul 28, 2014

Grand Prize Winner posted:

Any other nice guys in recovery have real weird self-esteem issues? Every time a girl's into me I immediately start trying to spot flaws in her character/appearance. If I don't spot any I start making them up. Once I've made a big enough list I drop all communication. This usually takes about 4-6 hours from first meeting her.

I guess I am the whore bitch now.

No seriously though how do I stop doing that

everyone has flaws, everyone looks like poo poo unless they've showered/put on make-up/etc/in the morning/etc, everyone hates themselves, etc.

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

(▰˘v˘▰)
i love myself

if there was a clone of me i would prob buttfuck myself until i died from exhaustion

GET IN THE ROBOT
Nov 28, 2007

JUST GET IN THE FUCKING ROBOT SHINJI

Grand Prize Winner posted:

Any other nice guys in recovery have real weird self-esteem issues? Every time a girl's into me I immediately start trying to spot flaws in her character/appearance. If I don't spot any I start making them up. Once I've made a big enough list I drop all communication. This usually takes about 4-6 hours from first meeting her.

I guess I am the whore bitch now.

No seriously though how do I stop doing that

Hey there, I have self-esteem issues but I'm not really sure if I'm in recovery so much as a downward spiral

Carmant
Nov 23, 2015


Treadmill? What's that? Is that some kind of cake?


Grand Prize Winner posted:

Any other nice guys in recovery have real weird self-esteem issues? Every time a girl's into me I immediately start trying to spot flaws in her character/appearance. If I don't spot any I start making them up. Once I've made a big enough list I drop all communication. This usually takes about 4-6 hours from first meeting her.

I guess I am the whore bitch now.

No seriously though how do I stop doing that

You need to focus more on your own flaws. Do that enough and soon you won't labor under the false illusion that a girl is actually into you and you'll realize that at best you're misreading the situation and at worst the girl is making fun of you. Youre welcome

Gaunab
Feb 13, 2012
LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL
Should i make another r/relationships thread?

henpod
Mar 7, 2008

Sir, we have located the Bioweapon.
College Slice
Yeah I liked that thread.

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Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007

What God wants, God gets, God help us all
You whore bitches don't deserve another thread. This thread has been here the whole time, bringing you quality content and now you want to start another thread where Chad Thundercocks whine about their relationship issues? gently caress YOU LINDA!

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