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Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


I'm only on page 15 of this thread so far, but I've got to ask, who the gently caress sends texts and expects responses within minutes, especially when they're contacting someone they don't know well, or at all? They'll spam like ten texts in as many minutes and then call the person who hasn't even typed a response back yet a shallow whore or whatever.

I keep in touch with most of my friends through text or chat programs, and I'd say average delay unless someone is available at that moment to shoot the poo poo is probably 2-5 hours per exchange of texts. People have jobs and kids and hobbies and poo poo.

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Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


maxhush posted:

high charisma, low comeliness


Thanks for reminding me I need to have comeliness in my home brew game.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


Calico Heart posted:

Just saw "I am a serial killer". Is it weirdo wish fulfillment or just lazy writing that in movies no matter how weird and clearly broken a guy is there's a hot girl who finds him "interesting". I can't count the number of times I've seen a cute girl in a movie just walk up to a guy lacking any charm and appearing outwordly weird and just be like... Not even acting interested, just being magnetised towards them

probably just hacky writing - "serial killer must fight the urge to kill someone who cares for them!!!" seems like poo poo that writes itself

too bad for incels the real world ain't like that

I have a hot rear end friend who totally has a weird chick boner for serial killers. She does not date a serial killer tho. Touring with a band on a shoestring budget and everyone sleeping in the same van would make hiding kills difficult.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


Yeah, Buscemi is like, 4-5 territory. There's plenty of downhill from there. He's an odd-looking man, but not actively repulsive.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007



Well yeah, after you add a point or two because she can cook!

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


maxhush posted:

please rank Steve Buscemi in terms I can understand by using the ladder theory, tia

Steve Buscemi is the "gently caress" ladder that you'll never climb.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


crackton posted:

Cooking, cleaning, loving are skills not necessarily linked to the 1-10 beauty scale.

She's not a 5, rather a 2 or 3 at best depending on her hygiene and that's a bit of a tossup depending on whether you like the smell of sausage and taco sweat. She's not a 1 either cause that's reserved for those born with obvious physical deformities.

Buschemi is a hard 4 or a soft 5.

If she lost a buck and three quarters she could probably scrape into the 4 range.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


Hey Pick, I'm an rear end in a top hat and I'll probably break your heart. We should date.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007



With the right lighting, custom fit clothing, a little makeup, a recent bath, and a few drinks, most people can at the very least have an attractive je ne sais quoi during their physical and sexual peak.

E: this assumes face-to-face encounters

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


Pick posted:

Did you just ask me out on 9/11

You'll never be able to forget our time together.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


You should see all of the abusive PMs I'm throwing at Pick right now for not getting back to me in less than five minutes. Let's just say I broke out the thesaurus. Ladies love an educated man.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


I'm pretty sure he extracts the dreams of naughty children with his syringe-umbrella.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


Mudshark?

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


blarzgh posted:

Never heard that one, and I've heard 'em all.

My first thought was "how many hit dice does a mudshark have, and is it related to a bulette?"

I guess I have a Dungeons & Dragons monster to stat up at some point in time.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


What's worse, no pedo vibes and actually a pedo or pedo vibes and not actually a pedo? I want my molestache to be free, but society demands she be shaved!

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


Tricky D posted:

Worse from who's perspective?

Hmm, mine I guess. I mean, I keep my creeper 'stache shaved because I'm not an idiot and it looks objectively terrible anyway.

E: m'baroness

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


henpod posted:

So here's a transcript of what the emotionally manipulative Nice Guy sent my gf.

For context of those just joining us, he is a 42 yr old man who has been in love with her for years and uses the death of someone she was likely to marry (who was also a friend of his) to maintain a link between them and feed into her anxiety and possible PTSD.

Bear in mind this was about three days after she told him she was seeing me. At the time he promised her to try and accept it, move on and just be her friend, instead of pining for her. At that time I felt bad for him, because unreciprocated love hurts and it seemed he was really trying. Now of course I know hes an absolute gently caress and is dangerously fixated on her.

'Hi, uh. probably shouldn't message you. I had a friend suggestion on facebook. It was henpod, through *cousin*. I now know you weren't straight with me last weekend. For example, you hadn't discussed with me regarding that you were seeing henpod and that you were abroad together. I think its time to call it quits. sorry. i really adore, you're a fantastic woman but i'm so sorry. I realise that you have hidden the truth for some time from me for whatever reason. Goodbye.'

Read that in a tone that is very hurtful and angry. That message made her cry and again knocked her into emotional instability again for a few days. Shes been putting up with this guy for years. I mean, Jesus Christ, this poo poo feels entitled to know everything about what shes doing and threw a tantrum so she gets worried about him and shows attention. I was so angry and had no idea this was the scale of it. I wanted to call him and tell him to disappear but as he is unstable she is worried he will do something drastic, so I have to leave it. But I have a much closer eye on this now that's for sure.

Well, shes now deleted his number and if he gets in touch she will tell him that he needs to go away as he is damaging her health, and to leave her alone for a good long while until he's more stable and stops this bullshit once and for all.

What a Nice Guy!! Cock.

Look, I was a creepy nice guy for a good long chunk of my life and then it finally reached a crescendo and I ended up stalking a very good friend of mine. Ruined a decade long friendship.

Deleting his number was a good step. Don't actually talk or respond to him at all. Even telling him to go away is still attention. If he does call, hang up, block the number. If he writes, have the post office bounce stuff from his address. If he shows up somewhere while you're out, leave. Just ignore the gently caress out of him. If you have to, get the law involved, but don't talk to the fucker.

It probably took a good six months or so for me to punch myself out on being obsessed, but it certainly worked. I was manic the entire time, but I wasn't dangerous at least. I really wish I could go back in time and break my legs and then force myself to get therapy and take meds a few years earlier. Say levee, as the French say.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


lohli posted:

If someone had been open and honest with you about how lovely a person you were being, not in a "You are a huge rear end in a top hat jerk!" sort of way, but rather an outline of all of the weird and terrible poo poo you were doing and why it was bad for everyone sort of way, would that have made you realise you had been a poo poo person and set you on a path to change your ways or would it have been the trigger to blow your and/or someone else's brains out?

Well, I'm not a terribly violent person. If I would've hurt anyone, it would have most likely been myself, by accelerating my already out of control drinking or making a big boy try at suicide.

While it would have hurt a lot, yeah, I think it would have helped if my friends had all sat me down and told me to knock that poo poo off. The woman I was obsessed with is part of the same peer group that I've stayed in contact with for fifteen years now and they're all solid and loyal cats. They're people who I trust and listen to. I don't know if she ever really told anyone about it at the time, though. I've discussed it with a few of them, and it was pretty much the first they'd heard of it. I was honestly crazy at the time and so lost in my own poo poo that I didn't realize I was doing anything weird or bad.

She's gone on and gotten married to a kickass dude, gotten a master's degree in psychology and now helps weirdos like me get better. While I was getting sober, I did the AA step of apologizing, so I sent her a letter. I didn't ask for a response, or forgiveness, I just stated my wrongs and what I was trying to do to redress them. (Meds, therapy and rehab) she got back to me eventually and said we were cool, so I drop her a line a couple times a year and like something on her Facebook once or twice a month. I'm not even going to try and get any of the closeness we once had back. I murdered that long ago. At least this story has a happy ending.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


Pick posted:

Uhhhh I don't normally think of these things in terms of fictional characters, but whammo blammo here it is


Nice & Kind: maya fey
Nice & Unkind: damon gant
Not Nice and Kind: miles edgeworth
Not Nice and Not Kind: manfred von karma

Hey, so about that date, you gonna turn me down or keep playing with my heart over here?

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


Pick posted:

Sorry, I had a human skull memory and my kokoro loving teleported back to Pine Town. ask me in a month

Groovy.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


The horoscope says I have terminal

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


GloriousDemon posted:

Nice & Kind: Samwell Tarly
Nice & Unkind: Little Finger
Not Nice and Kind: The Hound
Not Nice and Unkind: The White Walkers

Which Lord of the Rings character are you?

Samwise Gamgee, because I lust for halfling dick.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


Mass Effect 1-3
Nice & Kind: FemmeShep
Nice & Unkind: FemmeShep
Not Nice and Kind: FemmeShep
Not Nice and Not Kind: FemmeShep

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


Grand Prize Winner posted:

Any other nice guys in recovery have real weird self-esteem issues? Every time a girl's into me I immediately start trying to spot flaws in her character/appearance. If I don't spot any I start making them up. Once I've made a big enough list I drop all communication. This usually takes about 4-6 hours from first meeting her.

I guess I am the whore bitch now.

No seriously though how do I stop doing that

Years of therapy and learning to love yourself. I guess you could try shrooms and intense introspection as a really ghetto option.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


One of my loves came to me today to engage my services as an orator. It was the delectable little Carthaginian specimen with the perfect amphora figure and that cute little nose ring that I met last time I went to market. Well, I flubbed a joke about doing a little "orating" on her after the job was done, but she just looked sort of confused and changed the subject.

She handed me a few vellum sheets and I was devastated to learn that they were missives from my little Aphrodite's lover. Yes, she has a lover! What's worse, is now I had to read this insipid drivel out loud in front of the woman I love! How mortifying! I am a professional, however, so I took my coins and read the letters from some "Caius Priapus-cock" despite how much anguish it caused me inside.

I delivered my services with such fervor and passion, it was as if Eros himself were reciting the phrases, praising the beauty of my precious darling, and not faltering even when the words turned to describing vulgar acts I'm certain she's much too pure to partake in. Ophelia, I learned her name from its repeated use in the letters, stood spellbound as I executed my contract. I was so caught up in the emotion of the moment that when the final letter was ended, I embraced my fair Ophelia and kissed her passionately.

We hung there, suspended in ecstasy for a moment, until her cruel knee smashed into my groin. She gathered her letters as I lay on the ground and she left without a word, looking terribly embarrassed. I tried to apologize for my forwardness but only croaks came out of my throat as I lie curled on the ground. Oh, why are girls so gods damned complicated! I was so mad that when I got home I punched a hole in my slave.

Diary of Scorus Nihilus, Orator

Pvt.Scott fucked around with this message at 04:32 on Sep 14, 2016

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


You whore bitches don't deserve another thread. This thread has been here the whole time, bringing you quality content and now you want to start another thread where Chad Thundercocks whine about their relationship issues? gently caress YOU LINDA!

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


Tricky D posted:

You gotta be real pathetic in order to be threatened by your woman's dog.

What if it was a super huge and expensive dog that also had multiple expensive chronic health issues and was poorly trained and becoming more prone to violent outbursts as it got older?

It'd be me or the fuckin' dog. She'd choose the dog obviously, because she would have shown the poor animal mercy long ago if she weren't being all crazy about her meat property.

It would be a Catch 22, though. Giving up the dog for me would be a terrible choice because I'm a retarded manchild, but keeping the dog would be a terrible choice that would drive away the last vestiges of human contact the woman would likely ever have, which is why she's making a decision between the dog and me in the first place.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


Tricky D posted:

IDK man. This scenario seems pretty specific and contrived. Like, how do you even get the point of ultimatum if the person you are seeing has such a lovely animal?

It could happen to anyone.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


WrenP-Complete posted:

Sure I guess I didn't understand the connection between the dog thing and the husband thing and my mind is reaching?

The "dump me or dump the dog" guy texted a screen cap of the news story about the husband who was being divorced for being too nice as a passive aggressive way of telling the woman he was giving his childish ultimatum to that she was making a poor decision, just like the woman in the article.

E: it's also a great self own because he posted an article about a suffocating, controlling d-bag being divorced by his wife who was never allowed to do even the simplest of things.

Pvt.Scott fucked around with this message at 00:24 on Sep 15, 2016

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


phasmid posted:

I mean I keep my boyfriend in a cage and call him a dog so the issue is muddy at best.

Some guys have it pretty





















ruff.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


Pick posted:

I got my cat from a woman whose husband forbade her to keep it. The cat preceded her relationship. Dude was a jerk.

Did he at least have bad allergies and/or was he secretly a mummy and so was afraid of cats like in the Brendan Fraser smash hit movie The Mummy?

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


King Vidiot posted:

Unless you live in the country, an outside cat is not "your cat" it's just "a cat you feed when it's around". And it's going to die, either in the road or poisoned or shot by some crotchety rear end in a top hat.

e: Also yeah, "outside cats" within town/city limits will annihilate bird species. Don't loving keep your cat outside, but if you can't even manage that then at least get them fixed.

The magpies seemed to do just fine in their fatwa against my 21 pound murder machine, but I don't think corvids count as normal birds. Stripey (shut up, I named him when I was 7) was indoor/outdoor though. He'd lounge around and do adorable cat stuff and snuggle in with you at night and stuff, but some days he just felt like roaming around and playing with the neighborhood dogs or murdering rodents and poo poo. You could even whistle and call for the giant tabby bastard. Don't worry, we cut his balls off.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


This thread isn't about nerds who have issues with that type of bird, but the nerds who have problems with the other type of bird that tends to get pretty upset about being locked in cages.

Usually.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


I wouldn't have an outdoor cat near a nature preserve or some poo poo, but every place I lived with Stripey, while it was suburban housing, either had large open fields, plenty of woods, or in Vegas, desert directly adjacent to the house. My cat came back with a few dead rattlesnakes in the City of Sin.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


lohli posted:

I'm not entirely sure that these guys are joking though.


Antinatalism is the exact opposite of everything incel. Hell, I've been volcel for about seven years now because I decided it would be best not to have any romantic relationships or accidentally father any children while I was getting sober and trying out psych meds and poo poo. I didn't want to bring my giant raft of problems into somebody else's life until I had stuff at least manageable on my end.

Still not going to have any children even though I'd like to. I can't support them currently, financially, emotionally or physically. I've been thinking about maybe looking for love since I've been stable for a good while now and have successfully been able to handle some personal crises and one manic episode that I identified quickly, reported to my docs and got things adjusted until it passed in a pretty mellow fashion.

Lol at incels trying to look cool by claiming voluntary celibacy.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


superjew posted:

I didn't know there was a term for it but the few "volcel" people I've known in my life so far were chill and sure as poo poo didn't spend half their waking hours talking about lack of sex.

Haha, I only refer to it as volcel because of the ridiculous internet manbabies that call themselves incel. I have no idea if anyone else uses that term.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


ikanreed posted:

Where do guys get these Madonna-whore complexes? Is there something in society that pushes this line of thinking?

Men sleeping with women, at least everywhere I grew up, was seen as an awesome high-five thing, the more, the awesomerer, and in all kinds of media the chaste, unsullied princess or girl-next-door is the man's reward for a job well done. Hell, even in the Odyssey, dude gets to bang hot chicks on his way home and nobody cares, but his wife's only deeds that are noted are not putting out until her man (assumed dead) comes home.

Men are given leeway, as they "can't control themselves," and "boys will be boys," and the responsibility for men's sexual actions is often shifted onto the women whom they sleep with. The women are essentially seen as irresponsible and devaluing themselves by general society.

This sense of responsibility projected onto women is tied to how reproduction works, traditional division of labor due to sexual dimorphism and also traditional systems of inheritance and governance. Women have high risk, low reward for sexual activity in a setting without very reliable birth control/safe abortion, especially considering their future is often tied to whomever fathers their child, or else they are often relegated to the poorhouse to struggle with raising the child on their own. Both nature and society puts great pressure on the woman to make a careful and considered choice regarding a mate, including factors like his social and financial status. Promiscuity is further frowned on because if someone outside your family fathers a bastard child who is in line to inherit your stuff, there is real potential for theft of wealth and property, possibly the result of multiple generations of careful accumulation, or sometimes even entire nations, as occasionally happened in history.

So you've got all of this poo poo built up that has been kicking around even up until today, mixed with modern contraceptives, safe abortion, very lucrative, non-physically demanding labor where the woman is equal to the man and can often provide adequate support for herself, modern welfare systems in varying degrees to ease the burden of raising children, very different inheritance laws, generally free choice of marriage partner in most places and other progressive stuff. This is at odds with most of history and probably even some of our baked in defaults as social primates.

So, even today, there's a sort of background assumption that a woman's worth as a human being is tied to all of that stuff, so she is as valuable as the man she can pair with and bear children for. Since she is in control of her actions and the only absolutely sure way to not get pregnant is to abstain from sex, this is the default expectation for women.

A man or a woman sizing up another woman's value uses black and white thinking (our brains work best that way) and reduces them to either virgin or promiscuous, or Madonna*-whore. With value or without value. The man barely shares any of the burdens or responsibilities of the woman aside from what society and romantic pair bonding chances to enforce, so he is free to act as he will in most cases. Sex is fun, so he is told to go have fun, or is at the very least usually excused for his falling to temptation.

*Madonna refers to the Catholic tradition of Mary, mother of Jesus Christ, who is said to have been taken into heaven still a virgin. That seems a bit suspect since Jesus is mentioned to have brothers and likely had sisters as well, but that's some heathen baptist poo poo. Just wanted to point out that she was so virginal that she gave birth at least once, if not multiple times without ever having sex once. Madonna does not refer to the recording artist. Sorry for that aside

This is all my personal opinion and could be completely wrong. Feel free to educate me. I enjoy learning.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


Stinky_Pete posted:

they're not all literally massive. for example, twinks

Ugh, twinks. Grind for your high-level gear like the rest of us!

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Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


Race Realists posted:

is it entirely possible to just be a guy who's simply bad with the opposite sex (like... like brian from family guy ), instead of a Nice Guy™?

Nice Guy takes being bad with girls, externalizes the blame for being a dork around girls, stews about it for a really long time and is mean about it. Just not being good at womyns is ok in and of itself.

E: this is from my personal experience, having been a Nice Guy for a time.

Pvt.Scott fucked around with this message at 01:29 on Sep 18, 2016

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