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Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER




Muldoon

nice guy stories please

quote:

A loose female acquaintance of mine calls me at 1:00am today and asks me if I could print something on the computer for her and bring it over in the afternoon. "Hey yeah sure sure, whatever you need I'll help you, I'm all yours," I tell her. She sends me this file and lo and behold I can't open it. It's made in Microsoft Publisher and I don't have that program so I begin panicing, trying to find this program or a way to print the file. Scouring the internet yields no results and I do my usual pacing in my room.

I finally come up with an idea and I tell the girl, if I can proceed with it. The plan was I would carry my printer about 2miles to her house, print out the needed pages, maybe talk to her a bit while I was there. I was hoping for at least a hug out of this ordeal.

By the time I get there, I'm wet all over from sweating in the +90 degree heat outside and carrying a heavy motherfucking HP Deskjet printer. The first thing I see upon entering her room (my first time in a girl's bedroom) are some panties on her bed.

After the initial shock of seeing such a horrific sight for the first time, I setup the printer and get my job done. However, I did consider sniffing the lingere when she left the room once, but with the wuss that I am, I just ended up staring at them the whole while. That was a sarcastic joke for those of you too stupid to realize that

To make a long story short, just as I was finishing up with the printing job (which was hefty), her boyfriend and his gay friend walk in, say hello, and begin hanging out in the room as they waited for the girl to finish this work so they could go to the mall.

This effectively ruins my chances of getting a hug and I walk another 2 miles home with the motherfucking printer in hand. The only thing that I got out of this were some very painful fingers and a "thanks" as I walked out her bedroom door.

So, am I pathetic for doing all these things? It wouldn't be the first time I've pledged my heart and soul to a girl and gotten back almost nothing in return. I would hate turning her or anyone else I knew down or making up some lie.

quote:

There was this guy in first year... I was pretty lonely and desperate for friends so we hung out all the time even though he was kind of odd. He started off being really kind to me, bringing me food and hanging out with me when I was super depressed.
But it kind of escalated, he'd be at my apartment all the time uninvited, force his way in, or corner me in public even when I obviously wanted to be alone. I was polite, but the guy wasn't picking up on it.
The final straw was me mentioning that I had been sexually assaulted (I'm pretty open about this, but it's sensitive) and him going "That's okay, my parents always told me to buy used." After that, I started wearing a massive raincoat around campus so that he wouldn't see me or talk to me.
Effing creep.
Edit: I will follow up to this story by explaining that the only time I ran into him after this, pretty much, was as members of the same club. We barely talked until Valentine's Day, when he messaged me the following: "I know you have a boyfriend, but I am madly in love with you and want you to break it off with him for me."



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Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER




Muldoon







Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER




Muldoon

The General posted:

Who in the gently caress has word censors on their texting, or is that nice guy doing it himself? I'm confused.

me too. is goon a bad word now!?

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER




Muldoon





^ hosed up if true, can a femgoon c/d pls

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER




Muldoon

a hole-y ghost posted:

If you look at the time on the pictures ratjaculation posted them in reverse order

OOPS soz

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER




Muldoon

Zoned by a dude lol

So yeah, you read the title and already know I'm pathetic as gently caress. But I've had it, once again, I've been told that i'm "The nicest guy I know" "so funny" "so kind" "so considerate" etc. only to be shitted out into the drainage pipe of friendzone. yeah I sound bitter. I loving am. I've attempted suicide before, I've been suffering this shitshow called depression since I was 13. I've been on meds. I've been through therapy, CBT, psych ward, the whole lot. gently caress all helps. But I manage to put that away, I manage to go out my way to help others, to never bring up my poo poo to anyone and just help them deal with their issues. But gently caress i'm done. Genuinely, from a purely evolutionary standpoint, why should I stay? Not like i'm contributing or will contribute anything. Apparantly being a decent person means gently caress all in this world. It's not even with girls. My friend was kicked out his home a few weeks back, I went out at 2am, picked him up, got some drinks with him, chatted, cheered him up, let him crash at my place. Next day he goes out, no thanks, no nothing. Tells me he's going to a party, cool, i'm feeling like poo poo so a party and carefree atmosphere would be fantastic, I ask if it would be cool if I could tag along. Straight up tells me "You could but like no offense, your really ugly and I dunno about the people that will be here". I feel like i'm just constantly being hosed about and used

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER




Muldoon

i never dont want to sleep with a lady because i am a STUD

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER




Muldoon

Chomp8645 posted:

Seeing a woman melt down about not getting sex is basically 100% pure distilled schadenfreude to a nice guy.

nah because he'd swoop in there to get some and she be like "nah, mate. were just friends"

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER




Muldoon

Carmant posted:

if you look at something like this and think its real you are the most gigantic idiot on the planet

are you suggesting there are fake things on the internet?

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER




Muldoon

Troposphere posted:

her husband is s cougar chaser tho and basically stalked her until she gave in to dating him

so romantic
Clearly not a Nice Guy

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER




Muldoon



















Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER




Muldoon

Moon Atari posted:

Those text overlay type pictures always bother me, because they frequently use a picture that has been floating around in cringe/ugly threads without the text. Which means some physically ugly but not necessarily bad person is getting slandered with either made up text or text that comes from someone else in order to add a visual component to a strawman. I've seen the same nerds picture get used for both atheists are ugly and fake okcupid profile memes, so they are getting owned in several different ways unrelated to anything they are actually responsible for.

which 1 are you?!

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER




Muldoon

this kid is not a Nice Guy, and look how much pu$$ay he is wreckin

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER




Muldoon

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER




Muldoon

Moridin920 posted:

nah cougars exist

confirmed, jack bauers hot daughter was stalked by one iirc

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER




Muldoon

Ten Wasted Dollars posted:

At this point you're just ripping on people who seem to have diminished mental faculties

soz dave. here you go:


ok


alright


uhhh


oh dear


lmbo

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER




Muldoon

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER




Muldoon












"gentlemanly"


163 likes




ex-nice guy, still gettin none




me, irl












nice skull










bat side!


"4 years"




ok bye

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER




Muldoon

If this thread causes a goon to kill himself out of shame of being male I will close it, probs

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER




Muldoon

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER




Muldoon

Had a Korean pen pal for a few months, seemed pretty nice. We talked online and on the phone a couple times. I had lived in Korea for a while before then, had come back to the US and there were some cheap little snacks I said I really missed and couldn't find cuz I lived out in the middle of nowhere. He offered to send me some and he seemed nice, so I gave him my address to mail them to me.

Well, big loving mistake, he didn't end up mailing the snacks. He decided he was going to "surprise" me by flying his rear end down to the US and come to my apartment. To my horror, documenting the entire trip and sending it to me. Fortunately, it was gated and he was too epicly stupid to think of sneaking through the gate behind someone, but he kept sending me pics of him outside the complex patrolling the perimeter and asking me to come out and see him so he could take me on a date. He was outraged that I would not come out and see him after he had been so "nice" to fly out there and tried to entice me with gifts that he had brought. He was under the impression that this gesture was romantic. His I'm-outside-your-apartment selfies turned into post-cry selfies and why-don't-you-want-to-be-with-mes and so on and so forth. And no, this dude and I never talked or even joked about the possibility of a relationship prior to him showing up. I tried to explain why it wasn't appropriate for a 50 year old dude to fly to another country and stalk a 20-something's apartment, but he didn't get it. He said it wasn't stalking because we were friends and I gave him my address so he assumed he was free to come over. I told him to gently caress off but apparently that got lost in the language barrier too or some poo poo.

I didn't want to leave the apartment but I eventually had to go to work. I worked about 45 minute drive away... well, he followed me to work, parked behind me and rolled down his windows and tried to talk to me, I RAN into the building which thankfully had security gates and no unauthorized people were allowed in. I was worried he could have stayed in the parking lot until I got off (turns out I was right), so I asked a couple tough looking dudes to walk with me to my car and block him into the parking lot so I could at least get a head start even though he knew where I lived.

So yeah anyway this continued for about 10 days until he had to go back to Korea. He mailed me a ring with his and my name engraved on it and I moved and now I don't have any more pen pals.

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER




Muldoon

lived in a dorm with this guy who ended becoming insanely obsessive and possessive even though i told him i would never date him.
first he sent me a bouquet of 24 long stem white roses. then he sent me one of those 5 foot tall giant teddy bears. then i failed by g2 test, was pretty sad about it, and he sent me another bouquet of long stem red roses. i got angry with him and told him to stop treating me like his girlfriend, since i would never date him and poo poo.
he told me multiple times that he told his friends that i was his girlfriend, and that he was only happy cause he had constructed this imaginary world in his mind where we were dating and that's what made him happy.

i went to prom with my friend who was a year younger than me. just friends. we were going as JUST friends. he demanded the guys name, wanted to search him up etc.
he lived about 5 ish hours away from me. he would come to my city and get a hotel downtown and force me to see him the entire weekend (saturday and sunday). when i told him i cant see him both days due to family thing/other plans he would flip his poo poo and say "i paid x amount of money to come here, and you won't even see me the whole weekend!!!" well, i didn't ask you to come and spend that money.....

one time he showed up to my house at like 10 at night. i never gave him my address, which he somehow figured out when he was sending me things. he basically showed up to my house demanding we hang out, i drove him back to the subway station and told him to never come to my house again.

then i moved back to the city we go to school in (different city then where we both lived). he showed up to my apartment in that city after me not telling him where i lived. he would constantly call me demanding i talk to him even though i would tell him i was busy.

it was a stressful time in my life i won't lie. completely ruined my summer having to deal with this poo poo for 4 months. he's done and out of my life now though

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER




Muldoon

A few years ago my buddy hosted a party. He invited this one guy out of pity since he really had no friends. Let's call him "Ahmad". Now Ahmad really had a thing for this girl at the party let's call her "Nadia" but she friend zoned the gently caress out of him. He spent the entire time at the party being passive aggressive towards her and making cringeworthy sexist jokes and passive aggressively trying to cockblock any guys that were trying to talk to her.

Anyhow Nadia got really annoyed with him and kept belittling him after a while then decided to have really loud sex with this other guy at the party towards the end of the night. Ahmad cried himself to sleep cuddling with a pillow he thought belonged to her but really belonged to my buddy who hosted the party. My buddy disposed of that pillow the next day.

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER




Muldoon

mordin you have saved the thread, how can i ever repay you?

please keep in mind that i only view you as a friend tho

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER




Muldoon


mods please add 'females of the world' to the thread title

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER




Muldoon


im the glasses

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER




Muldoon

trying to understand this











Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER




Muldoon

damnit dave

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER




Muldoon


Indonesia 2004, Haiti 2010, Japan 2011, Wolf boys virgin basement 2016

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER




Muldoon


probably lighter than my first girlfriend too ...

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER




Muldoon

Cnut the Great posted:

I once threw some dick at the OP's mom.

dad? ive finally found you

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER




Muldoon

Chomp8645 posted:

In my last relationship my girlfriend was the tough one. A tattoed gun nut with an attitude. I have no doubt in my mind that if anyone had attempted to harm me while we were together she would have gone absolutely apeshit on them either with fist or firearm.

You did love her fists though

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER




Muldoon

What's up thread, borrowed from pyf-



Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER




Muldoon

Pick posted:

"I want my friends to like you, so you will keep your mouth shut."

In his defence this is good advice if:
- you a reptilian and your teeth/tongue prove it
- you are a preaching nazi
- you are a demonsept witch whose ghastly calls can open the portal to the hellscape
- you constantly talk about funny images you found on imgur

So which one is it?

Ratjaculation fucked around with this message at 08:32 on Aug 6, 2016

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER




Muldoon

Shinjobi posted:

I remember about 7 years ago or so I was trying to date a girl that frankly I had no business dating. I couldn't tell you a single interest we ever had in common, but she was attractive and I was very much into that. So we went on a few dinner dates, not much more than that. I tried small steps after a couple dates, holding hands and crap like that, and it really didn't take with her. I take this to mean she isn't interested. Even so, I ask her out on another dinner date and she happily agrees. Again, she tended to avoid physical contact without any explanation. It wasn't a freak out, just a polite "no" and that was that. So I was kind of confused, overall. I was young, inexperienced with relationships, stupid, and smitten with this woman but seemingly getting nowhere. I recognized that If things continued dragging out I was probably going to do something pathetic and horrible and something that I would be embarrassed about for the rest of my life. So I decided to just cut myself off at the pass. I asked her out on a lunch date, she happily agreed--as usual--and we went out to grab some lunch. By this point I realized that the small steps had gotten me nowhere, but that I didn't really know if this dating thing was going anywhere either. So after we both paid our checks I asked straight up if she wanted to head back to my place and fool around. She smiled awkwardly, said no, I chuckled and that was pretty much the end of that date. I went home, assured that I had offended her and that at least by going about my business the way I did at least I didn't have to worry about her anymore. For all I knew, the dates were done and I could safely move on.

Well, she and I still exchange pleasantries whenever we run across each other in town and she never once complained to mutual friends about what I said and how I said it. I thought I burned a bridge that day being so blunt and forward, and from what I've gathered from mutual friends she never once seemed to care. Maybe she wanted to go on some more dates first, maybe she just enjoyed getting free food, or maybe I just jumped the gun too early. Either way, for what it's worth we're still cool to this day, and I've filed all of those memories with a big ol' "who gives a poo poo" stamp.





I felt like contributing. Talk poo poo about me, nerds.

Was she homeless?

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER




Muldoon

unironically shared clickbait


The darth vadar hats in 1955


That is a good rear end behind the text


This is just loving creepy and probably means you have NPD




"Keep an eye out for my rape wagon"


lol logic


at least white crayons have a loving purpose


yeah, with her boyfriend




this contradicts the earlier image




rape threat and then objectification


lol


lmbo






Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER




Muldoon

A Man and his dog posted:

I'm seeing a cougar and it owns. All we do is work our days, come home at night, chill and bone it out.

Give women space. They need that poo poo.

Dude, don't pork your own mother

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER




Muldoon

M'lady goons - Is male impotence impatience really common or?






Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER




Muldoon

women should brag like men about vagina depth

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Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER




Muldoon

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