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'nice guys' seem like they are caught in a sad state where they mostly hate themselves and feel like the only way they will be loved is by shaping their entire life and personality to please the woman, but they are also angry at women for 'making them' feel that way about themselves. They are frustrated and flip between blaming themselves and blaming women.
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Jul 25, 2016 01:11
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| # ¿ Apr 19, 2024 04:25 |
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I think men have a bigger problem with it because men are more likely to experience complete rejection. As a woman you might be rejected by a man you want, or even have to lower your standards, but with the knowledge that there will always be men out there who want you as you are, even if they are men you don't want. Whereas men can be rejected entirely, such that there is nobody who wants them. Plus it is far less likely for them to have women approach them, so they can experience extended, unbroken periods of feeling unwanted by the opposite sex in a way women are unlikely to. That turns into resentment when efforts to improve themselves fail to produce results. This isn't helped by the things a man needs to improve to be datable being more all encompassing of who they are as a person (e.g personality, life accomplishments etc) than their appearance, because this means they are being told that they are fundamentally unworthy of love as they are now. As far as male friendship goes, men do not support each others efforts to get girlfriends because it is considered shameful to need that support.
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Jul 25, 2016 01:37
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a hole-y ghost posted:I'm not too clear on this concept of "total rejection" but I think it might be death?? Having zero romantic or sexual prospects, without the knowledge that there is someone who will at least have casual sex with you. A state of feeling rejected by the entirety of the gender of your interest, rather than by individual members of that gender. I feel the need to point out that I am not expressing my own feelings, just interpreting 'nice guys' and other angry sexless dudes. Although me feeling the need to point that out does say something about social pressures for men and sex.
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Jul 25, 2016 02:07
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MY PALE GOTH SKIN posted:I would love to know where this idea is coming from, especially since this: It is directly stated by the angry sad dudes as what they feel. See jon pop's entire post history as an example. It also seems uncontroversial that more men than women have no sex life at all but would like to, especially when the only rebuttal to it is that some women are lonely because they would rather not lower their standards. As much as talk of sexual market forces is tainted by creepy people it is true that men and women face different pressures and annoyances in the dating game, with different failure states. A guy with no game will experience no expression of romantic or sexual interest directed towards him, and if he takes this poorly he starts freaking out about all women being whores who only want 'chads' and maybe does the 'man going his own way' thing. A woman with no game will not have romantic or sexual interest directed at her from the people she would like or in the manner she would like, and if she takes it poorly she starts complaining about all men being lovely partners who only want sex and maybe does the 'political lesbian' thing. People who experience the lovely end of the dating spectrum tend to envy the experience of the other gender, so you get lonely dudes who have never had someone so much as look their way who are pissed at women complaining about too much attention, while you get women who are constantly hounded by crappy dudes who are pissed at men for complaining that they have it hard in dating.
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Jul 25, 2016 12:42
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Troposphere posted:or maybe some women are actually lesbians dipshit Yes, my argument all along was that lesbians don't exist, you nailed it, and i feel ashamed at having my bigotry exposed by the harsh light of your ability to interpret information.
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Jul 25, 2016 14:03
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Troposphere posted:you're dumb and bad You seem unfamiliar with the term 'political lesbian'. I didn't invent it, self-described political lesbians did.
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Jul 25, 2016 14:31
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I've been in that situation before, but at least the women never got angry at me, I just felt bad for inadvertently hurting their feelings and felt dumb for not picking up on what were retroactively very obvious signals. If there is one definite difference between men and women's reaction to failing at dating it is that men are far more likely to develop seething resentment about it, rather than just feeling bad before taking their wares to a more interested buyer.
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Jul 25, 2016 17:16
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I knew expressing anything but unambiguous scorn for dudes bitter about being unable to get laid was risky, but I didn't think that saying more men than women can't pick up to save their life would be controversial.
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Jul 25, 2016 17:40
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Blue Train posted:The women who can't pick up guys are invisible to you and everyone else, hence why you think they don't exist in the same numbers hth Invisible even to the internet, the land of people sharing their own complaints and insecurities without people censoring them. I'm not saying they don't exist, I'm saying that there are more men than women in that position. I have pity for anyone's dating problems, but saying that different genders have different dating problems isn't an endorsement of any mra/pua talking point. Most people can acknowledge that the more common complaint for women is lovely men coming onto them, whereas the more common complaint for men is being rejected by everyone. Being unable to even lose their virginity and being unhappy about it is more likely to be a problem men have. Saying that doesn't imply that I think there is some societal problem that needs fixing like mra's do, it's just an explanation of why 'nice guys' get so crazy, which I initially offered in counter to the theory that it is because male friendships suck.
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Jul 25, 2016 18:23
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Troposphere posted:lmao you're just proving the point that they are invisible to you I think I've found one actually.
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Jul 25, 2016 18:34
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Tricky D posted:I don't think that there is a significant disparity between the populations of single, desparate men and women. The fact that these two groups aren't coming together to gently caress each other sort of demonstrates why they are alone in the first place and it isn't necessarily because they are uggos. This is correct when not adjusting for age, but the US Census Bureau's Community Survey consistently reports that almost every city in America has significantly more single men than women amongst 20 and 30 somethings. Once you hit 50 though the balance shifts to more single women everywhere, with the primary explanation being due to the higher male death rate. There isn't much research on involuntary celibacy, but what there is demonstrates a gender skew by respondents favouring men significantly. But that could just mean that they are more willing to talk about it or self-identify as such. As a psychologist I couldn't state with confidence that it suggests more men are in that position than women. The one thing I would say the limited available stats support is that amongst women reporting involuntary celibacy more state that they are in a sexless relationship, whereas men are more likely to state that they have no relationship. Preemptive response to people assuming my motivation is bitterness: nah dog, i don't live in the US, I live in a place where i actually reap the benefits of the singles ratio, I just like disagreeing with people online.
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Jul 26, 2016 07:09
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Those text overlay type pictures always bother me, because they frequently use a picture that has been floating around in cringe/ugly threads without the text. Which means some physically ugly but not necessarily bad person is getting slandered with either made up text or text that comes from someone else in order to add a visual component to a strawman. I've seen the same nerds picture get used for both atheists are ugly and fake okcupid profile memes, so they are getting owned in several different ways unrelated to anything they are actually responsible for.
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Jul 27, 2016 09:00
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Ten Wasted Dollars posted:At this point you're just ripping on people who seem to have diminished mental faculties Assuming Shayna Blane is a real person David's persistent spamming method actually paid off in the end, and in only a months worth of spamming, so who really has the diminished mental faculties? But I guess she isn't using a real picture so is probably fake.
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Jul 27, 2016 17:11
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Chomp8645 posted:The "what about men" argument is bad when it's used to counter a statement like "violence against women is too common". But that wasn't what you said. You were comparing worst case scenarios, not general trends. For both genders "my partner will kill me if I leave" is a valid worst case scenario, although it is exceedingly rare for either of them. This is separate from acknowledging that men hold the balance of power when it comes to violence and that women are generally more vulnerable/abused from a statistical standpoint. In the context of making early dating/courtship decisions and opening up to new people though I think it is fair to say that the threat of violence is a far more valid and active concern for women than it is for men, which is what I think pick was getting at to begin with. When it comes to meeting new people women have to worry about that much more, which makes them more selective with who they meet than a man is likely to be. But outside of just meeting new people, at the broader level of actually having relationships, I wouldn't say that the worst case scenario for a man is getting an ugly woman. I think the worst case scenario for either gender is inviting a crazy and destructive person into your life and having them gently caress you up real bad.
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Jul 28, 2016 18:04
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Pick posted:Sorry but it's true. When men think of "Oh god, I don't want to die alone, I might have to ..." they imagine that ugly girl who hangs around them and is desperate for attention. When women think, "Oh god, I don't want to die alone, I might have to..." it's the dude who collects swords and has a file folder called "guro" I can agree to the fear of violence being greater for women, but I have to disagree on the idealised ugly/awkward girl. The forever alone members of either gender both have a bunch of personality flaws, habits, obsessive hobbies and weird sexual hangups/fetishes that the other gender finds unappealing. There are female stereotype to compliment all the male stereotypes like fedoras and swords.
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Jul 28, 2016 18:41
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skander posted:We had neighbors like that here. She hit him, and he punched holes in the doors and walls, and smashed things. They both yelled, and it would go on for hours. He said he was glad that she only beat on him with hammer fists. I moved from one house with neighbours exactly like that, into another house with neighbours exactly like that except they also involved the kids. I'm glad I made it out of the suburbs because I'm pretty sure that is just the standard relationship dynamic for white trash australians.
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Jul 28, 2016 19:27
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https://twitter.com/ingmarbirdman/status/186596755549327360
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Jul 29, 2016 07:51
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extra stout posted:i'm a man and the amount of time i've had to waste dealing with women pretending to 'have questions about the game' only to try and hit on me two minutes into the conversation is really taking away from my ability to enjoy playing, at night time at least. Shallow bitches always trying to get in my pants by faking an interest in being the very best, like no ever was.
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Jul 29, 2016 11:59
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Everybody Loves Raymond presents a nightmare scenario of obnoxious people irritating one another for all eternity, as if trapped in some sort of family-themed purgatory.
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Jul 29, 2016 19:26
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a hole-y ghost posted:were all being converted into hendrens I'm working on a new personality inventory that categorises people into hendrens, smashmouths, fieris or shark mascots.
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Jul 30, 2016 08:02
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Pick posted:The watermelon wasn't even in anything, or disguised in any way, I just got confused. Please be extra cautious when eating watermelon.
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Aug 3, 2016 08:58
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Personally, I subscribe to the spice girls philosophy on friend/lover diplomatic relations.
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Aug 6, 2016 19:48
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Groovelord Neato posted:i'd hate to see the vag that could hold all that. I can see the advantages of a girlfriend you can store all your stuff inside of and also live in. But on the downside it would pretty much guarantee losing your house in the divorce.
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Aug 7, 2016 20:02
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Behold my latest performance art piece, in which I parody and ruthlessly critique the common wannabe performance artist cliche of getting naked and or masturbating. *gets naked and masturbates, but provides sarcastic commentary on the artistic significance of each stroke*
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Aug 13, 2016 05:06
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SneakyFrog posted:you forgot the part about the science experiment in the chemistry classroom that transformed your goony rear end into the slick suave sex machine presented here yo. I wanted to hear that part of the story because This summer forums user Yomofo is going from lab partner *montage of bespectacled nerd using an inhaler, dropping his books and getting an atomic wedgie*... to labia parter *yomofo emerges from a cloud of chemical smoke sans glasses, with slightly better hair and inexplicably wearing a leather jacket*.
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Aug 22, 2016 16:58
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the weeknd used the term friendzone, and his lyrics would have me believe that he fucks with great regularity.
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Aug 22, 2016 17:02
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I think most of these guys aren't actually in a position where friendship with a woman is a real option, rather the woman says "let's just be friends" or drops the word friend repeatedly in the hopes of the guy taking the hint and leaving her alone without needing a more severe rejection. But the popularity of depictions of unrequited love in media and especially music suggests that the experience of being romantically attracted to someone who only sees you as a friend is relatable to a significant amount of people of both genders. Using the term friendzone to refer to this is heavily stigmatised for the sa reading demographic of nerds who are hyperaware of the habits of even worse nerds, but it is fairly popular slang amongst teenagers, to the point of being used unironically in multiple charting rap songs. But somehow even 'notice me sempai' has gained mainstream footing, so memes might be loving with the youth of today in a way that somehow allows the slang of older basement dwellers to gain traction amongst normal teenagers.
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Aug 22, 2016 17:39
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I don't understand what the woman's friends ladder is depicting. In any case, I do not care for this theory of ladder fuckability. I would not gently caress a ladder. When I was a teenager a ladder I was climbing collapsed on me and trapped my hand in the hinge, removing my nail and almost my finger. I do not like to imagine what would have happened if I was a more adventurous man, as willing to experiment with ladder-based sexuality as these men appear to be.
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Aug 22, 2016 18:04
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Blue Train posted:I thought you knew you were bffs when you blew each other Women lack penises, so must use material trinkets as a symbolic replacement serving the same function that the oral transfer of semen plays in male platonic bonding. The true tragedy in this is that gender wage disparity means that women are doubly burdened by this extra expense.
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Aug 22, 2016 19:24
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Business Gorillas posted:it definitely happens. if you're a doughy nerdass just stick to the machines and stay away from the EXTREME WORKOUT gyms and you'll be fine Man I'm naturally thin, a vegetarian, and last year got laid out for a couple of months by severe illness that caused me to waste away into a skeleton. First time i went back to a gym I was struggling to lift one of the weakass cardio weights and some dudes gave me poo poo. I responded by saying "what is this, highschool?" and carrying on seemingly unfazed, but inside I was hurting. It was one of those rare times that I wish that I, being a man, wasn't incapable of having genuine friendships, which might otherwise have provided me with emotional support, if only both the need for such a thing and the ability to provide it were not biologically and socially impossible for people of my gender.
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Aug 22, 2016 19:46
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This was in Australia, where gently making fun of complete strangers to their face is traditionally considered part of being friendly with them, but assholes can use it as an excuse to go too far and assholes are overrepresented amongst guys who start conversations with strangers in gyms.
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Aug 22, 2016 19:54
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Business Gorillas posted:edit: that other dude is right a single off the cuff remarks didn't cause the issue, its your zero self esteem and massive sadbrains. go get help I was exaggerating the effect on me to go with the hyperbole about men being incapable of true friendship, but critical comments when you're already feeling kind of poo poo about your appearance will rattle anybody at least a little. I don't think you need impenetrable self-esteem armour to not be 'sadbrains'. Hell, most of the current lifecoaching lit that I peddle suggests the opposite, that knowing you have vulnerabilities and accepting them rather than trying to defeat them is actually more productive.
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Aug 22, 2016 20:02
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King Vidiot posted:Can I be your friend and borrow the stuff from you that you borrow from her? And then my friend can borrow it from me, and his friend can borrow it from him? I thought I had really good friends with a nice house they would let me chill in and borrow stuff from, but it turns out I had joined a library. I still don't completely understand how it works but they've told me to think of it like a non-paying customer service relationship rather than a friendship. They are actually quite insistent about that. People complaining about being friendzoned don't know the true pain of finding yourself libraryzoned by all your best friends.
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Aug 23, 2016 03:51
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Ladies always ask me about the 36th chamber but I will never reveal the secret.
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Aug 23, 2016 12:29
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Gorilla Salad posted:Isn't white guys suddenly getting an Hispanic accent whenever they come across a Spanish word in the presences of a Latino a running joke? I wanted to respond to the PallasAthene's post with a clip from the movie club dread where a character tries to pick up by saying "what a beautiful name...penolope"(mispronounced as peena-lope) but when i googled 'what a beautiful name' the first suggestion was how to say "that is a beautiful name" in spanish.
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Aug 23, 2016 17:45
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Back when I was working a job that required me to call out customers names I was always really worried about appearing ignorant by mispronouncing foreign or exotic names. So to make it seem like I was just retarded rather than bigoted I would purposely mispronounce all names including the common anglo ones, until I got in trouble for pronouncing colin as colon.
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Aug 23, 2016 18:02
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fappenmeister posted:My friend loves saying the J in jalapeños loudly anywhere we go, he makes a point of doing it in large crowds with a straight face. Ja-la-pen-oss. If he isn't pronouncing it as either hello-penis or jello-penis than he needs to step up his intentional mispronunciation game.
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Aug 24, 2016 04:47
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There are so many cool and cute animals in the world that I just don't have time for the big goofy one that pretty much can't survive without being swaddled in bubblewrap and would need me to clean clots out of its penis on the reg. Plus apparently they can't even work the clit but still expect tens of thousands of dollars of upkeep.
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Aug 24, 2016 05:18
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horses killed superman. they are the ultimate villain.
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Aug 24, 2016 07:30
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they took him out real slow and without dignity. loving horses.
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Aug 24, 2016 07:37
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