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  • Locked thread
Nigmaetcetera
Nov 17, 2004

Sorry guys, I'm just a donut.


Drinking in a dive bar as a nude man enters.

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canyoneer
Sep 13, 2005
I only have canyoneyes for you

The first cop to arrive on scene, especially if you're wearing one of the special cop hats

SplitSoul
Dec 31, 2000




vols bitch posted:

being a dirty european in america

Jose Mengelez
Sep 11, 2001

by Smythe


sweeping the floor of a struggling karate dojo

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

IN THE GRIM BARKNESS
OF THE FUTURE
THERE ARE ONLY DOGS


Nap Ghost

A bank teller.

Dinosaurmageddon
Jul 7, 2007

by zen death robot


Hell Gem

Applewhite posted:

A bank teller.

At the desk with the vault access key.

Dinosaurmageddon
Jul 7, 2007

by zen death robot


Hell Gem

Struggling to find cellphone reception.

Dinosaurmageddon
Jul 7, 2007

by zen death robot


Hell Gem

Working the afternoon shift at Just Idlin' Speedboat Rentals.

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005
Probation
Can't post for 25 days!


Buglord

Dinosaurmageddon posted:

At the desk with the vault access key.

and a poorly concealed silent alarm

That70sHeidi
Aug 16, 2009


the White House

operating a wood chipper

in the security room watching it all go down but ain't nobody answerin' their walkie talkies and the phone is dead aw poo poo man

last in line while walking through a forest/desert/alien moon/jungle/tunnel with steam pipes

getting on or off an elevator during a fire alarm/evacuation

behind the bar, being a wiseass and not remember if you served someone who might have looked like that guy, naw

anywhere there's a probability you'll have to say 'Did you hear something???'

waxing the office corridors at 2am with headphones on

first person in those ski/hiking rope chains going up the mountain

the person who has to say 'I got a baaaad feeling about this'

a strip club

The Most Secure Vault in the WORLD!

Wizchine
Sep 17, 2007


The security guy that notices poo poo and doesn't let the little stuff slide when you're trying to get through to that secure area.

false flag post-op
May 13, 2009

Enjoy Every Sandvich

In an Applewhite script.




(JK, I love you. )

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014



the guy taking too long to order at a fat food restaurant

false flag post-op
May 13, 2009

Enjoy Every Sandvich

I LOVE FAT FOO~

Woosh

Friginator
May 13, 2014

by zen death robot


A guy who:
1. Thinks he heard something
2. Looks
3. Sees nothing
4. Hears something again
5. Looks again
6. Sees nothing again
7. Hears something a third time
8. Ignores it

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005
Probation
Can't post for 25 days!


Buglord

Bouncer at a strip club

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014



This thread is making me want to watch Leon: The Professional.

Friginator
May 13, 2014

by zen death robot


Someone with road rage.

Someone trying to get their child to shut up/go back to sleep.

Jehde
Apr 20, 2010



A sauna, or bathhouse.

sketch_nimrod
Apr 1, 2010


on bruce lees bad side

ConstantDelays
Jan 1, 2013


A meeting in which you are inducted into some sort of Suicide Squad

Khazar-khum
Oct 22, 2008


-Traffic jam
-at the lavishly designed and furnished house that's far from anywhere
-in an office in a warehouse
-under a skylight, especially a large one in a swanky building

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005
Probation
Can't post for 25 days!


Buglord

when entering a room facing away from the camera

Two Free Toppings
Jul 1, 2007

SUCK
THE
SHIT
OUT
OF
MY
OWN
ASSHOLE


You just hanging out in a forest or warehouse or whatever with your huge buff handsome laconic best bud and he's all "did you hear that?" and you are like "no, I don't hear nothing" and then he says "...exactly" your about to get a sword all through your guts and tummy or a wolfman is going to drop down and start chewing your face. Better hope your bud is looking out for you at that moment or else whooa boy that is game over.

E- Also if you work for some shady politician or dictator or nazi general don't chase nobody in a motorcycle. Your better HOPE you just explode and don't get knocked off your bike and run over by all your co-minions or flip off a mountain and break all your bones up.

Two Free Toppings fucked around with this message at Jul 29, 2016 around 15:53

Dinosaurmageddon
Jul 7, 2007

by zen death robot


Hell Gem

Tied to a chair, a table, or to an unlikely companion.

naem
May 29, 2011



Dinosaurmageddon posted:

Tied to a chair, a table, or to an unlikely companion.

Unless you are the hero or a love interest, in which case you engage in some witty banter and then the bad guy explains their entire evil plan in great detail and you escape through the power of punching

Friginator
May 13, 2014

by zen death robot


The guy who gets interrogated right before the main character.

naem
May 29, 2011



Also all the rules for bad guys work opposite for the hero- 500 bad guys with Uzis? No threat to anyone.

Hero punches bad guy and TAKES an Uzi? Invincible. Cannot miss, unlimited ammo. Any bad guy pointing their Uzi at an Uzi hero has a jam or shoots another bad guy by mistake or is easily punched/awkward karate neck chopped.

When the really big bad guy with no sleeves who's good at punching shows up the hero just yells "whoa nelly!!" and cleverly tricks him into an airplane propeller or big industrial fan or maybe a bunch of pies or eggs squash his face and he trips on some marbles (kids movie)

Khazar-khum
Oct 22, 2008


Anywhere the camera is pointing.

naem
May 29, 2011



Uzi henchman to commander "he's got a gun!!"

"Wait don't, you guys have guns? You all have guns that's, your job just shoot him"

"But he's shooting at us!!"

"Ok, yeah I mean, get behind something? Then shoot back"

"Ok so spray bullets around while screaming"

"Um well, no like HIT him, with the bullets, from the gun"

"But he's got a gun!!"

"There's 100 of you you, all, have, what am I paying you for!!! You're a guard, with a gun, how did you not know GUNS were a thing with this, look I've got to prepare my evil monologue because its obvious he's getting past you

canyoneer
Sep 13, 2005
I only have canyoneyes for you

Facing the hero, when the hero has just glanced over your shoulder and ducked

Tinfoil Papercut
Jul 27, 2016

Nod sympathizer


Anywhere in the public event at the opening sequence which will establish just how evil our main antagonist terrorist is.

Syncopated
Oct 21, 2010



relapsing into alcoholism

Squashing Machine
Jul 5, 2005

I need this
This is my job
I'm the ass replacer


Schlubby government stiff with the keycard/blueprints/briefcase at the hotel bar who doesn't question why a supermodel is coming on to him

naem
May 29, 2011



"What kind of gun does he have, you guys have automatic weapons. I know, I bought them. They were super expensive by the way."

"An Uzi."

"That's what YOU have!"

"I know, it's one of ours"

"Well how'd he get it?!"

"He punched Kevin!"

"Kevin?"

"Kevin- 6,2", leather jacket, mustache, evil laughter, smoking"

"That's, literally all of you. Why didn't this Kevin shoot him?"

"His Uzi jammed."

"So he just stood there and got punched??"

"Yes."

"Like, punch him back? Dodge??"

"Uh yeah Kevin was normal sized and has sleeves he's not a punching guard?? Hello"

"Well, have punching guy punch him for fucks sake"

"We tried but punching guy got tricked into the very large obvious industrial fan"

Tumble
Jun 24, 2003
I'm not thinking of anything!


The second guy to fight in the circle of henchmen/bad guys surrounding the protagonist but inexplicably fight him 1 on 1.

Tumble fucked around with this message at Jul 29, 2016 around 23:20

Dandywalken
Feb 11, 2014

I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation. I actually named my daughter after the Pink ranger and will provide proof if challenged.


Flying the plane which will later leave no survivors.

naem
May 29, 2011



SO! I see you got past my mustached Uzi guards with the power of 'also an Uzi' and also my very large sleeveless punching guard who apparently just walked right into some kind of big obvious fan.

Now I will do that thing where I explain my evil plan in great detail if you will just, just step forward, yes a little more, no, to your right- no your OTHER right heh just a little evil humor there, yes that's good, stay right there on that large rectangular patch of carpet tile that is a different color right in front of my evil desk yes no it's not a trapdoor to a shark tank.

I mean yes obviously it is a trap door to a shark tank

LOOK we BOTH read the SCRIPT okay???

Dinosaurmageddon
Jul 7, 2007

by zen death robot


Hell Gem

naem posted:

SO! I see you got past my mustached Uzi guards with the power of 'also an Uzi' and also my very large sleeveless punching guard who apparently just walked right into some kind of big obvious fan.

Now I will do that thing where I explain my evil plan in great detail if you will just, just step forward, yes a little more, no, to your right- no your OTHER right heh just a little evil humor there, yes that's good, stay right there on that large rectangular patch of carpet tile that is a different color right in front of my evil desk yes no it's not a trapdoor to a shark tank.

I mean yes obviously it is a trap door to a shark tank

LOOK we BOTH read the SCRIPT okay???

What are you fidgeting with in your pocket? Okay, hands out show it to me.

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Dinosaurmageddon
Jul 7, 2007

by zen death robot


Hell Gem

Midway through a window

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