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jimmyjams
Jan 10, 2001


the longest AND loudest fart???

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dad gay. so what
Feb 18, 2003

by FactsAreUseless


im pitching a new project called "the longest food"

BloodRed
Apr 21, 2004

I identify as a simian who pronounces the 'silent' letters in words.

Fallen Rib

President George W. Bush at the 2001 Presidential swearing-in ceremony.
Anonymous 2 years ago

dad gay. so what
Feb 18, 2003

by FactsAreUseless


possible tie-in

enfield has producer credits

SurfaceDetail
Feb 17, 2016

by Cowcaster


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSKQ3ZNQ_O8

Moon Atari
Dec 26, 2010




Jade Ear Joe

A single person could hold the record for both, but not with a single fart.

Waltzing Along
Jun 14, 2008

Help comes when you need it most



Seems pretty likely as a really long fart is likely to have some volume.

Waltzing Along
Jun 14, 2008

Help comes when you need it most



That was a pun, btw.

Dave_Indeed
Feb 22, 2004

by FactsAreUseless


If my wife doesn't shut the hell up with her stupid god drat story in the next 5 minutes I'm going to try for the record.

Jellidelic
Nov 28, 2011



i hold the record for shortest and longest penis

Enfield
May 30, 2011

by Nyc_Tattoo


i hope so

Dave_Indeed
Feb 22, 2004

by FactsAreUseless


Jeff Sichoe posted:

President George W. Bush at the 2001 Presidential swearing-in ceremony.
Anonymous 2 years ago

Are you cracking on a dude that was president in 2001?

Because if so, gently caress PRESIDENT JAMES A. GARFIELD. HE IS A FAT PIECE OF poo poo.

James A. Garfield is like a garbage bag full of farts. Reform the post office, will you? Well suck my dick you drat turd former president James A. Garfield.

mango sentinel
Jan 5, 2001

H O R N E Y


Moon Atari posted:

A single person could hold the record for both, but not with a single fart.

Buckets
Apr 10, 2009

...THE CHILD...


I hold the record for the worlds shortest fart

penus penus penus
Nov 8, 2014

by piss__donald


[quote="Dave_Indeed" post="462622040"]
Are you cracking on a dude that was president in 2001?

Because if so, gently caress PRESIDENT JAMES A. GARFIELD. HE ISssllslapz)($((

scuba school sucks
Aug 30, 2012

The brilliance of my posting illuminates the forums like a jar of shining gold when all around is dark

I want to know what is the world record for the biggest thing anybody has ever stuck up their butt. Google is surprisingly unhelpful, all I get is a bunch of clickbait bullshit.

mds2
Apr 8, 2004

Merry Christmas, from Cyklone

Moon Atari posted:

A single person could hold the record for both, but not with a single fart.

Doctor J Off
Dec 28, 2005

There Is


Young Urchin

depends on how many pages this thread goes, op

Iron Prince
Aug 28, 2005

Buy another round
They try to shut us down
but
WE STILL IN THIS BITCH



Buglord

watch me do it fuckman

Nickelodeon Household
Apr 11, 2010

I like chocolate MIIIILK


Do assisted farts count? If so, I have a bike pump and the heart (and hopefully anus) of a champion.

genesplicer
Oct 19, 2002

...But I am already in my Pajamas...

Gravy Boat 2k

I try on a daily basis. So far, no luck. On either criterion.

Yolomon Wayne
Jun 10, 2014

You call it "The Big Bang", but what really happened is


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSKQ3ZNQ_O8

Utz
Aug 1, 2008






Are you talking about two separate records, or the single record for the longest-and-loudest fart?

Utz
Aug 1, 2008






What would be the criteria for the longest-and-loudest fart?

Simply this: a single unbroken fart that is both LOUDER (according to a professional decibel meter) and LONGER (according to an atomic clock) than any other recorded fart

Given the set of all farts, there would necessarily exist a maximally loud-and-long fart.

That would be the world's record.

Utz
Aug 1, 2008






Wait. Wait a moment. What I just wrote is incorrect!

Given a set of two farts, and fart A is louder than fart B, and fart B is longer than fart A, which is the "world record?" It's a paradox!

But that is an edge case. Let's "bar this monster" and stick with typical cases, where there are large sets of farts, shall we?

I offer a conjecture: there will exist a single unbroken fart that is both LOUDER (according to a professional decibel meter) and LONGER (according to an atomic clock) than any other recorded fart IFF (if and only if) the set of farts comprises only one, or more than two, farts

Think with me here, GBS!

Germstore
Oct 17, 2012

A Serious Candidate For a Serious Time


What if there is an 87 db 157 second fart and a 84 db 172 second fart and a 80 db 140 second fart. We know the last one isn't the loudest-and-longer, but which of the first two is?

Utz
Aug 1, 2008






My god! Germstore, you are right.

DOes there exist a minimal number of farts that the set of farts would need to contain in order to guarantee the existence of a single loudest-and-longest fart?

Germstore
Oct 17, 2012

A Serious Candidate For a Serious Time


consider an infinite series of farts where each fart is both louder and shorter than the previous fart

Utz
Aug 1, 2008






... you're talking about the fart singularity!

"The Big Rip"

http://hubblesite.org/hubble_discov...php#the_big_rip

Minimum Syntaxing
Oct 29, 2008

He looks white, but he's the son of a black man!

I am tired of everyone's childish humor

Utz
Aug 1, 2008






Fartmaster posted:

I am tired of everyone's childish humor

Are YOU the world record holder?

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DoctorG0nzo
May 28, 2014


Jeff Sichoe posted:

President George W. Bush at the 2001 Presidential swearing-in ceremony.
Anonymous · 2 years ago

So that's how Bush did 9/11

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