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  • Locked thread
Shumagorath
Jun 6, 2001

coconono posted:

Fighter's Union
1yr suspension automatic for domestic violence allegations(get your personal life in order before fighting)
Partnerships with supplement makers and coordination with USADA on standards(no more of this tainted supplement excuse poo poo)
Renewed fight contracts come with retirement/post-fighting career plans
The last one would be pretty hard to do.

What I want to see is a $20/mo version of Fight Pass where I get the PPV for free. I might even go as high as $30. With 200-202 being the notable exception the UFC would make more money off me that way vs Fight Pass being a bit of a waste now.

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Shirkelton
Apr 6, 2009

I'm not loyal to anything, General... except the dream.

DumbWhiteGuy posted:

Someone find that video of him on Human Weapon or Fight Science or whatever where they are monitoring his lactic acid levels as he holds a guillotine and the doctors are like "what...what is happening...they're going down...this isn't right"

Haha, please.

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002

david carmichael posted:

The T/E argument makes no real sense. His test levels were in the middle range of normal, but his epi levels were berserk. So the lab performed CIR to see if there was synthetic test in his samples and there wasn't.

It would make sense to spike his epi levels to try to beat the T/E ratio test if his test levels were very high, but they weren't. And if he was taking exogenous epi it would have shown up on the CIR.

the thing about the t:e test is that it doesn't actually directly measure testosterone or epitestosterone but a glucorindated metabolite, there are very few enzymes that catalyse that reaction and the main one can be inhibited by incredibly simple means (as in like, tea extracts and nsaids), as well as there being extremely common gene variants that basically make the test useless. also people have been beating the carbon isotope ratio test for years by basically buying the 13 carbon reference standard testosterone made for labs to run drug tests and mixing it with the soy derived stuff to get the right balance. wada's developing a test for that so some gold medals might change in a few years.

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002
btw if anybody wants to read the wada technical documents so you can try to figure out loopholes in the tests from your sa-mart steroids, pills, powders etc here's the master list https://wada-main-prod.s3.amazonaws.com/resources/files/wada-td2016-index-v2.0.pdf just google the document numbers and knock yaselves out

Work Friend Keven
Oct 24, 2015

I'M A BIG STUPID IDIOT WHO GETS TRIGGERED FROM THE WORDS SPORTS BALL AND HAS SHIT OPINIONS ABOUT CARD GAMES. ALSO I SAID I WAS GOING TO QUIT HEARTHSTONE OUT OF SPITE OF A TAIWANESE WINNING THE CHAMPIONSHIP SO REPORT ME IF YOU SEE ME POST IN A HS THREAD
Yeah id better take some masking agents so after I deliver a 9.8 load and the load commission is called (per procedure) I don't have my membership in the brotherhood of loads taken away. Thank you.

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

DumbWhiteGuy posted:

Someone find that video of him on Human Weapon or Fight Science or whatever where they are monitoring his lactic acid levels as he holds a guillotine and the doctors are like "what...what is happening...they're going down...this isn't right"

I remember this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDtOo9hyjNc

"MMA fights are five minutes and rarely feature stretches of inactivity"

Work Friend Keven
Oct 24, 2015

I'M A BIG STUPID IDIOT WHO GETS TRIGGERED FROM THE WORDS SPORTS BALL AND HAS SHIT OPINIONS ABOUT CARD GAMES. ALSO I SAID I WAS GOING TO QUIT HEARTHSTONE OUT OF SPITE OF A TAIWANESE WINNING THE CHAMPIONSHIP SO REPORT ME IF YOU SEE ME POST IN A HS THREAD
Fight science was so good, rampage doing all the funnest pro wrestling moves on a crash test dummy while the voice over solemly told us that it had more force than being trapped inside a hurricane.

Shirkelton
Apr 6, 2009

I'm not loyal to anything, General... except the dream.
drat, it's blocked here. Doesn't National Geographic want people to learn

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002

Work Friend Keven posted:

Yeah id better take some masking agents so after I deliver a 9.8 load and the load commission is called (per procedure) I don't have my membership in the brotherhood of loads taken away. Thank you.

one of the olympians let off for using meldonium was called Semen

DumbWhiteGuy
Jul 4, 2007

You need haters. Fellas if you got 20 haters, you need 40 of them motherfuckers. If there's any haters in here that don't have nobody to hate on, feel free to hate on me

Dan Didio posted:

drat, it's blocked here. Doesn't National Geographic want people to learn

http://youtu.be/6y1sEVxwg5I skip to about 36 minutes

Shirkelton
Apr 6, 2009

I'm not loyal to anything, General... except the dream.
That one's blocked too, lol. How far will Nat Geo go to protect Randy Couture's legacy.

Eat Bum Zen
Jul 19, 2013

*mumbles*
Rated T for Teen

Triticum Guzzler posted:

btw if anybody wants to read the wada technical documents so you can try to figure out loopholes in the tests from your sa-mart steroids, pills, powders etc here's the master list https://wada-main-prod.s3.amazonaws.com/resources/files/wada-td2016-index-v2.0.pdf just google the document numbers and knock yaselves out

What happens to the fighter if, for some reason, their piss sample (if no other issues are detected and collection goes forward without issue) 'spoils', or only pops on 1 method of testing which isn't repeatable across any other analysis? I wonder if only because if they genuinely do not test your B sample at the same time as the A sample, and store it under certain conditions, it might be possible to consume enough of (radioactive i think) something (forgot what my graduate advanced inorganic/organic lab overseer mentioned specifically the days we used ran our own piss through the mass spec) which doesn't fare well in certain colder temperature/pressure conditions in solution with stuff you normally piss out that enough time might pass to the point where standard radiation might have altered enough of whatever you're trying to hide that it slips past standard GC mass spec analysis. Obviously even if this were true, and enough time elapsed, it's very much random chance which dictates whether your sample passes the GC analysis. Even assuming this were all possible, the timing of your radioactive substance ingestion would have to be perfectly calculated, and anything radioactive enough and in ways which alter large, complex molecules like the kind they're testing would wreak absolute havok on all of your organ systems. That assumes you excrete it fast and completely enough that your body is able to eliminate the substance before it has passed through your kidneys and liver and blood vessels a sufficient number of times that even probabilistically you're going to get cancer or something awful no matter what.

Eat Bum Zen
Jul 19, 2013

*mumbles*
Rated T for Teen
that explanation is also the loosest, least precise way any of that would occur if you ran it like 1000 times.

manyak
Jan 26, 2006

Work Friend Keven posted:

Fight science was so good, rampage doing all the funnest pro wrestling moves on a crash test dummy while the voice over solemly told us that it had more force than being trapped inside a hurricane.

lol

Shirkelton
Apr 6, 2009

I'm not loyal to anything, General... except the dream.
At 199, Bisping catches Rockhold with the same punch that ended up sending him to the mat like three or four times and Rockhold literally does nothing to counter it, lol.

Centripetal Horse
Nov 22, 2009

Fuck money, get GBS

This could have bought you a half a tank of gas, lmfao -
Love, gromdul
What is going on, here? Is this the real life? I swear to God, I thought I saw Stipe Miocic, Tyron Woodley, Eddie Alvarez, and Michael Bisping listed as champions when I opened this thread.

Marching Powder
Mar 8, 2008



stop the fucking fight, cornerman, your dude is fucking done and is about to be killed.
nick diaz with them fighting words http://www.tmz.com/2016/08/01/nick-diaz-ill-fight-tyron-woodley-at-ufc-202-if-the-price-is-right-video/

Memento
Aug 25, 2009


Bleak Gremlin

Centripetal Horse posted:

What is going on, here? Is this the real life? I swear to God, I thought I saw Stipe Miocic, Tyron Woodley, Eddie Alvarez, and Michael Bisping listed as champions when I opened this thread.

Wearing their Sunday best. I spent quite a while looking for a photo of Stipe in a suit, but had to settle for him in his Cavs gear. And if anyone's got some photos of JJ and the Lioness in suits that would be rad.

Jon Jones is wearing exactly the suit he deserves because he's a loving trash human being.

Shirkelton
Apr 6, 2009

I'm not loyal to anything, General... except the dream.

He's back, baby!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6E0Vghi4qG8

Work Friend Keven
Oct 24, 2015

I'M A BIG STUPID IDIOT WHO GETS TRIGGERED FROM THE WORDS SPORTS BALL AND HAS SHIT OPINIONS ABOUT CARD GAMES. ALSO I SAID I WAS GOING TO QUIT HEARTHSTONE OUT OF SPITE OF A TAIWANESE WINNING THE CHAMPIONSHIP SO REPORT ME IF YOU SEE ME POST IN A HS THREAD
Congrats to the current UFC champions, and here they are (I upend a sack and a bunch of potatoes fall out)

Marching Powder
Mar 8, 2008



stop the fucking fight, cornerman, your dude is fucking done and is about to be killed.

Work Friend Keven posted:

Congrats to the current UFC champions, and here they are (I upend a sack and a bunch of potatoes fall out)

lol

Gramps
Dec 30, 2006


Centripetal Horse posted:

What is going on, here? Is this the real life? I swear to God, I thought I saw Stipe Miocic, Tyron Woodley, Eddie Alvarez, and Michael Bisping listed as champions when I opened this thread.

That sausage that almost killed you last year actually did kill you. You ded. This is purgatory mi amigo. Enjoy.

colonel_korn
May 16, 2003

Dan Didio posted:

At 199, Bisping catches Rockhold with the same punch that ended up sending him to the mat like three or four times and Rockhold literally does nothing to counter it, lol.

On a related note, is there something Matt Brown is doing (or not doing) that leads to him getting dropped by body shots all the time? Maybe it's just confirmation bias but it seems to happen way more often than it does to other guys.

david carmichael
Oct 28, 2011

Triticum Guzzler posted:

the thing about the t:e test is that it doesn't actually directly measure testosterone or epitestosterone but a glucorindated metabolite, there are very few enzymes that catalyse that reaction and the main one can be inhibited by incredibly simple means (as in like, tea extracts and nsaids), as well as there being extremely common gene variants that basically make the test useless. also people have been beating the carbon isotope ratio test for years by basically buying the 13 carbon reference standard testosterone made for labs to run drug tests and mixing it with the soy derived stuff to get the right balance. wada's developing a test for that so some gold medals might change in a few years.

No one is more ingenious than steroid test beating guys

manyak
Jan 26, 2006

colonel_korn posted:

On a related note, is there something Matt Brown is doing (or not doing) that leads to him getting dropped by body shots all the time? Maybe it's just confirmation bias but it seems to happen way more often than it does to other guys.

Heroin haha

mewse
May 2, 2006

Work Friend Keven posted:

Congrats to the current UFC champions, and here they are (I upend a sack and a bunch of potatoes fall out)

Bisping potato is delicious

Shirkelton
Apr 6, 2009

I'm not loyal to anything, General... except the dream.

colonel_korn posted:

On a related note, is there something Matt Brown is doing (or not doing) that leads to him getting dropped by body shots all the time? Maybe it's just confirmation bias but it seems to happen way more often than it does to other guys.

There's a few factors, but I think the most important is probably that he has a liver.

Shirkelton fucked around with this message at 01:32 on Aug 2, 2016

-Atom-
Sep 13, 2003

Contrarian Dick

Bad At Everything

Work Friend Keven posted:

Congrats to the current UFC champions, and here they are (I upend a sack and a bunch of potatoes fall out)

lol

Shirkelton
Apr 6, 2009

I'm not loyal to anything, General... except the dream.
The Zionist conspiracy that hounds Firas Zahabi has let up and allowed him to post this video for our viewing pleasure:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlnVFOo4F2A

Fozzy The Bear
Dec 11, 1999

Nothing much, watching the game, drinking a bud
Some nice Carlos Condit clips
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zC4P33Wj0yg

Shirkelton
Apr 6, 2009

I'm not loyal to anything, General... except the dream.
Black T on fleek.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BIlhCTij_E6/?taken-by=allelbows

Dangersim
Sep 4, 2011

:qq:He expended too much energy and got tired:qq:

I'M NOT SURPRISED MOTHERFUCKERS

Triticum Guzzler posted:

one of the olympians let off for using meldonium was called Semen

Oh he got off all right

Le Saboteur
Dec 5, 2007

I hear you wish to ball, adventurer..
Holy moly Nick Diaz on sportscenter pretty much signally that they're thinking hard on doing Woodley/Diaz.

Skip My Posts
Aug 15, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Id be fine with woodley Diaz. I don't even care

Bundt Cake
Aug 17, 2003
;(
I want Neil magny to be champ now

Bundt Cake
Aug 17, 2003
;(
Him or Robbie again, or Carlos. Wonderboy too but he has to fight Robbie + Carlos

manyak
Jan 26, 2006

Bundt Cake posted:

I want Neil magny to be champ now

Yah me too. the time is right for it

Bundt Cake
Aug 17, 2003
;(
Imagine if we end up with Woodley v Maia for the title , yuck

Gay Horney
Feb 10, 2013

by Reene

Bundt Cake posted:

Imagine if we end up with Woodley v Maia for the title , yuck

that would actually be a really cool matchup to me but Maia is one of my favorite fighters right now

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manyak
Jan 26, 2006
Maia winning the title at age 40 would be tite too. Really the WW division can only go up from here which is the silver lining

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