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Feb 9, 2009

Young wild Elsweyrian
C'mon baby, do you have a soul gem

Welcome to Let's Play The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim!

Hi, I'm UZworm and I've only ever played one The Elder Scrolls game, and that's Skyrim. Even though I have been told many times that Oblivion or Morrowind are better games, I stick to my guns because I am:
1. Too broke to buy new video games,
2. A person who knows what he likes, a list that comprises only about 6 video games, and
3. A person who really loves Skyrim independent of anything else.

That's right. Its faults aside, Skyrim is one of my favorite games, and I've spent more hours in it than anyone probably ever should. (We don't want to hear about the games I've spent more on. ((They are mostly Football Manager games.))) Also, it's rare that I play a game I'm not one of the worst players in the world at, so that's refreshing! (Note: This does not mean I am great at Skyrim. I am merely not terrible at Skyrim.)

I have been in a coma for the past 7 years; what is Skyrim?
Skyrim is the fifth installment of The Elder Scrolls series. It was originally released in 2011 to solid reception thanks to its open-world gameplay, though I've noticed that the general opinion of it has soured a bit in the past few years among people I know. Maybe it's just me. In the game you play as the Dragonborn, imbued with the blood of a dragon and the powers of The Voice that come with it. You must use those powers to save the world from the evil "World-Eater" Dragon, Alduin.

Or, alternatively, you can tell the main quest to go gently caress itself and just gently caress around building a house or raiding random caves and keeps. Kill old ladies, get drunk, who gives a gently caress? It's open world!

In October of this year, they're releasing a remastered version of it. If this LP is still going on by then, perhaps we'll be among the first to see the magic of the ~new snow shaders~ and ~volumetric god rays~!

What's the plan for this LP?
I plan on doing a straight run-through of the main quest of the game -- you know, that thing that you never completed despite playing 200 hours of the game yourself -- and then following it up with some other fun stuff. That might be mods, side-quests decided by whoever decides those things, perhaps murdering every single inhabitant of Skyrim... sky's the limit!

I might do the Dawnguard or Solstheim quests after just to keep things moderately on track before it devolves into utter chaos, but that's for time to decide. Let's murder us a dragon or two first!

What horrifying mods are you using?
None at the start. This will change after I've done the Main Quest, most likely, especially since I haven't really used many mods before even though I've played so much Skyrim. I'll be just as surprised as you are at some of that poo poo.

Shut up, Chitlin.

Who will be joining you?
The UZworm Zone holds many people, but the main crew is generally some mix of Highwang, Iron Chitlin, ElTipejoLoco, Killeremcee, Risen, TorpidTypist and Festivore joining me for my adventures.

Who is our intrepid Dragonborn?
I held a few Twitter polls to determine this! Based on those I was going to be a Khajiit Wizard until it was pointed out to me that plenty of Skyrim LPs end up with the person being a wizard, and also that magic in Skyrim is annoying as hell. So I kept the Furry vote (oy) and went with the second most popular option, Kitty Warrior. Meet Mr. Puffles.

He is a very good kitty.

Later on in the LP, we're also introduced to Mr. Puffles' more competent sister, Ms. Puffles.

She's also a very good kitty.

Yeah, general spoilers are okay in this thread; I'm not going to learn anything I don't already know about the game and I'm fairly sure everyone in my co-commentary pool except for Loco has played it too. Try to keep on basic track with where the LP is going, but don't worry about going a bit off-topic.

Update schedule?
Do you KNOW me?

No, but seriously though, I'll be shooting to update this at least once a week sometime near the weekend. Twice a week if I'm feeling saucy!

Play your accord-

Stop with the goddamn Lady Gaga!

Why does the first video of the series look like pickled dog poo poo?
I'm an idiot who doesn't know how recording software works! The graphical quality of the videos improves immensely after the initial two videos.

The quality of the commentary I can't promise anything on, of course.

Episode 1 - Mr. Puffles' Exposition Quest (Featuring Killeremcee, Highwang, Loco)
Episode 2 - Mr. Puffles Climbs a Hill (Featuring Killeremcee, Highwang, Loco)
Episode 3 - Mr. Puffles' Pretty Cool Gem (Featuring Iron Chitlin, Loco)
Episode 4 - Mr. Puffles Meets a Dragon (Featuring Highwang, Loco)
Episode 5 - Mr. Puffles Gets Trolled (Featuring Highwang, Loco)
Episode 6 - Mr. Puffles in Bandit Crater (Featuring Killeremcee, Highwang, Loco)
Episode 7 - Mr. Puffles, Bard Hater (Featuring Killeremcee, Highwang, Star Man)
Episode 8 - Mr. Puffles' Bread Party (Featuring Killeremcee, Highwang, Star Man)
Episode 9 - Mr. Puffles, Sewer Cat (Featuring Iron Chitlin, Highwang, Star Man)
Episode 10 - Mr. Puffles Finds A Wall (Featuring Star Man, Iron Chitlin)
Episode 11 - Mr. Puffles' Stream Highlights (Featuring Highwang, Killeremcee, Risen, PoX)
Episode 12 - Mr. Puffles' Wall of Text (Featuring Iron Chitlin, Loco, Festivore)
Episode 13 - Mr. Puffles, Rated PG-13 (Featuring Iron Chitlin, Loco, Festivore)
Episode 14 - Mr. Puffles Goes To ALF-Land (Featuring TorpidTypist, Loco, Festivore, Risen)
Episode 15 - Mr. Puffles in Glitch City (Featuring TorpidTypist, Loco, Festivore, Risen)
Episode 16 - Mr. Puffles, Master Tactician (Featuring TorpidTypist, Loco, Festivore, Risen)
Episode 17 - Mr. Puffles' Very Long Day (Featuring TorpidTypist, Festivore, Risen, Loco kinda)
Episode 18 - Mr. Puffles Beats the Game (Featuring TorpidTypist, Festivore, Risen)

Episode 19 - Mr. Puffles, Master Detective (Featuring TorpidTypist, Loco, Summoboomo)

Episode 20 - Mr. Puffles Unearths a Waifu (Featuring Highwang, Festivore, TheGentleChainsaw)
Episode 21 - Mr. Puffles Rejects a Dracula (Featuring Highwang, Festivore, TheGentleChainsaw)
Episode 22 - Mr. Puffles Needs More Scrolls (Featuring Highwang, TorpidTypist, Star Man)
Episode 23 - Mr. Puffles?! *Pumps Shotgun* (Featuring Highwang, TorpidTypist, Star Man, Star Man's shotgun)
Episode 24 - Mr. Puffles' Credit Card (Featuring Iron Chitlin, Festivore, TorpidTypist)
Episode 25 - Mr. Puffles' New Jump Cuts (Featuring Iron Chitlin, Festivore, TorpidTypist)
Episode 26 - Mr. Puffles Reads Some Scrolls (Featuring Iron Chitlin, Festivore, Risen)
Episode 27 - Mr. Puffles, Spelunking Dirty (Featuring Iron Chitlin, Festivore, Risen / Feat. Chamillionaire, Krazie Bone
Episode 28 - Mr. Puffles Goes for a Hike (Featuring Iron Chitlin, Festivore, Risen)
Episode 29 - Mr. Puffles' Crystal Caves (Featuring TorpidTypist, Risen, Festivore)
Episode 30 - Mr. Puffles Beats Castlevania (Featuring TorpidTypist, Risen, Festivore)

Episode 31 - Ms. Puffles Saves the Children (Featuring Highwang, Loco, Festivore)
Episode 32 - Ms. Puffles Kills the Homeless (Featuring Highwang, Loco, Festivore)
Episode 33 - Ms. Puffles' Arrow Physics (Featuring Highwang, Risen, Lolo de Puzlo)
Episode 34 - Ms. Puffles' Dialogue Dump (Featuring Highwang, Risen, Lolo de Puzlo)
Episode 35 - Ms. Puffles Spoils a Party (Featuring Highwang, Risen, Lolo de Puzlo)
Episode 36 - Ms. Puffles Kills This Dude (Featuring Highwang, Risen, Lolo de Puzlo)
Episode 37 - Ms. Puffles in the Dark Fuckerhood (Featuring TorpidTypist, Risen, Festivore)
Episode 38 - Ms. Puffles Kills Some Old Guy (Featuring TorpidTypist, Risen, Festivore)

Bonus Video 1 - Goat
Mr. Puffles' Stream Adventure: Part 1 (With Killeremcee, Risen, PoX, Highwang)
Mr. Puffles' Stream Adventure: Part 2 (With the same fuckers)
Million Quests - Lady Gaga parody
Jora - Lady Gaga parody
ME-OW - Lady Gaga parody
Stream Highlight - Mr. Puffles, Flaming Doorjam
Stream Highlight - Mr. Puffles Kills Farmer, Dragon, Priest

* SkyUI - Makes several minor changes to the game's UI, including a much more streamlined menu system.
* Pretty Cool Gem mod (Made by Risen) - Changes all instances of Petty Soul Gems to Pretty Cool Gems.
* Majora's Mask Moon - Mod only works like half of the time for some reason, but it changes the moon to the Majora's Mask moon.

UZworm fucked around with this message at 06:55 on Jan 19, 2018


Feb 9, 2009

Young wild Elsweyrian
C'mon baby, do you have a soul gem


FrozenCherry gives our friend the Pretty Cool Gem an artist's touch!

Lizard Wizard shows a rendition of Mr. Puffles' first meeting with a Frost Troll.

ultrabindu gives a succinct shot of our encounter with our least favorite bard.

Greenfinger finally fulfills that first request from Video 1 or 2 or whatever it was.

Fish Noise documents Mr. Puffles' many dislikes (though he does take coffee with his bread).

Silversatyr screenshots my usual contributions to battles.

Ultrabindu shows us the most popular breakfast choice of Nords everywhere.

Look man, I just really love the new Lady Gaga album, okay?

Ultrabindu adds another of Mr. Puffles' classic albums into the mix.

Ultrabindu finally found the Orc Fuckin' book for Chitlin!

Our commentary would be far improved with John Madden, as Ultrabindu knows.

The Your True Love Test proves what Star Man and the rest of the thread already knew.

Ultrabindu is fine with the King of Blood, none of that overpriced hipster "craft blood" poo poo coming out of Valenwood.

Current Vote going in the thread

Previous votes
Imperials defeated the Stormcloaks to win Mr. Puffles' loyalty!
Marcurio took down three other potential partners to win the right to be by Mr. Puffles' side during his adventures!
Because we're nice people all of a sudden, we decided to not kill Paarthurnax!
Windstad Manor was chosen as the homestead for Mr. Puffles' Skyrim living!
I can't believe Cicero is loving dead.

UZworm fucked around with this message at 02:58 on Nov 11, 2017

Lizard Wizard
Dec 25, 2004

mep, mep

Oh, neat! Personally I would've liked to see you use SPERG (in short it's a perk overhaul that makes perks much more interesting) but I'll be keeping an eye on this for sure.

Lizard Wizard fucked around with this message at 19:24 on Aug 6, 2016

Dec 11, 2009

Goddammit this Cello is way out of tune!

UZworm posted:

This post is reserved if I need it, I guess.

Until we do need it, a question for later in the LP for anyone in here to vote on: Imperial or Stormcloak?

Kitty wants to be Stormcloak.

No mods? At all? Not even the unofficial legendary patch?

Lizard Wizard
Dec 25, 2004

mep, mep

IAmTheRad posted:

No mods? At all? Not even the unofficial legendary patch?

What kind of monster wouldn't leave bugs intact?

Apr 27, 2013


Let's support the faction that hates us, be a Stormcloak.

Why am I not surprised that Lizard Wizard is among the first posters in this thread?

Apr 23, 2014

As cats are all rebellious assholes, we must be Stormcloak.

Lizard Wizard
Dec 25, 2004

mep, mep

Better odds of readily available drugs under racist hicks than under centralized government. Stormcloak.

Jan 25, 2011

Stormcat. Join the xenophobic dickheads. Instead of the white people being ordered around by xenophobic dickheads.

The story isn't the strong point of this game.

Sep 30, 2009

Who doesn't wanna be Johnny Cat?

I don't care who you join, just give my back!

I'm going to vote Imperial just to be contrary.

Catsworth fucked around with this message at 20:36 on Aug 6, 2016

Jun 4, 2012

The Stormcloaks are basically fantasy Neo-Nazis so let's go with the Imperials.

Apr 18, 2015

I shall devour your soul.

Grimey Drawer

Skyrim bored me even faster than Oblivion did back in the day, and I can't remember who the Imperials or the Stormcloaks are to save my life, but I can vote, so I vote Imperials, because.

Jan 27, 2012

I vote for the Imperials because siding with the 'cloaks makes you be a dick to a bunch of people I like.

Black Mage Knight
Jan 25, 2012

stop biting my cape

I vote Imperials because gently caress Ulfric.

Dec 2, 2008

The glow is a guide, my friend. Though it falls to you to avert catastrophe, you will never fight alone.

I say Stormcloaks just so you can make everyone really uncomfortable when one shouts 'skyrim is for the nords' and you add 'Khajiit too!'

Then they just fall silent and give each other awkward looks. Someone in the background coughs.

Feb 9, 2009

Young wild Elsweyrian
C'mon baby, do you have a soul gem

Catsworth posted:

I don't care who you join, just give my back!

I'm going to vote Imperial just to be contrary.

You'll pry them from Mr. Puffles' cold dead claws!

Also to answer the questions about mods I'll probably be turning on some of the more "make the game suck less" type mods when the main quest is done. I'm going through like the game was meant to be played until then!

Feb 18, 2011

Fallen Rib

Going to vote Imperials because I like Hadvar slightly more than Ralof (even if you picked the latter) and because Ulfric is such a tool that I can't vote for him even as a joke.
Besides, the Empire has put Colonel Tigh in charge.

Jul 30, 2014

Whoever's got the biggest whiskers does the talking.

Ulfric can go jump off a cliff....with lava at the bottom.

I'll support my Imperial bros till the end of time.

Also Hadvar is so so much better.

Tempted to load my SPERG punchcat for a while, but nah, got too many games I'm in the middle of playing.

mauman fucked around with this message at 05:15 on Aug 7, 2016

Dec 27, 2014

Why would I draw dudes when I could be drawing literally anything else?

I think you should go Imperial. But if you go stormcloak, can you rant about making Skyrim great again, and other word substituted Trump rants?

Man Whore
Jan 6, 2012


Imperial because Death to the stormcloaks!

Also good to see that you are playing the best race in the elder scrolls. Please stay neutral during the main quest though so that we get to see Season Unending.

Man Whore fucked around with this message at 06:21 on Aug 7, 2016

Feb 9, 2009

Young wild Elsweyrian
C'mon baby, do you have a soul gem

Man Whore posted:

Imperial because Death to the stormcloaks!

Also good to see that you are playing the best race in the elder scrolls. Please stay nuetral during the main quest though so that we get to see Season Unending.

Hahaha I maaay be asking this question solely because I hate Season Unending and am planning on avoiding it at all costs

Feb 14, 2010

I always thought it made no sense to join the Imperials when they were going to execute even though they knew you were innocent. On the other hand, Stormcloaks make no sense for non-Nords. Imperial it is, then.

Incidentally, some guy made a couple of opera arias based on the Skyrim opening:

Oct 23, 2007

What's with the 4:3 aspect ratio? And why is the resolution so low? The subtitles are barely readable.

UZworm posted:

Imperial or Stormcloak?
Imperial, because the Stormcloaks are obviously the bad guys and not even fun or entertaining bad guys.

Kopijeger posted:

I always thought it made no sense to join the Imperials when they were going to execute even though they knew you were innocent.
Well, that was just one person, probably not representative of the entire empire. And they didn't know you were innocent, they knew you were part of a group of prisoners and they'd lost your records.

Feb 20, 2010

You know you didn't have to go post that, right?
But it's fine, I guess...

You just keep being you!

Tiggum posted:

What's with the 4:3 aspect ratio? And why is the resolution so low? The subtitles are barely readable.

I don't wish to be rude, but this is not nearly enough p for what I'm used to.

A strong case has been made for the Imperials in this thread, maybe you character will let bygones be bygones?

Seyser Koze
Dec 15, 2013

Nap Ghost


(i made an original joke)

May 14, 2009

What is that bear doing there?


Join the Imperials. Maybe you can be emperor too!

Guy Fawkes
Aug 1, 2014

Lvl 62, +5 meadow defense

Seeing how the natives, and the Storcloack sympatizers in particular, abuse and mistreat the Kajiit and the rest of the nonhumans, there is no other option.

Fish Noise
Jul 25, 2012



What a friendly looking cat!

The Stormcloaks have been much nicer so far. Clearly, Mr Puffles should go with them until he encounters sufficient new information to make him reconsider that decision.

Jul 3, 2012

Be vaguely chinese roman and go Imperial.

Section Z
Oct 1, 2008

Wait, this is the Moon.
How did I even get here?


Mister Puffles was clearly arrested for copyright infringement following charges placed by Tony the Tiger.

Skooma Flakes were really cutting in on their business.

Tin Tim
Jun 4, 2012

Live by the pun - Die by the pun

I enjoy the unique video quality approach you're bringing to the table here

Also I never managed to finish skyrim because I always end up burning out on it because there is so much stuff that distracts you from the main quest. Anyway, Stormcloak it is

Nov 12, 2013

Imperial Might of the.... imperial empire....

Feb 9, 2009

Young wild Elsweyrian
C'mon baby, do you have a soul gem


Episode 2: Mr. Puffles Climbs a Hill (Featuring Killeremcee, Highwang, Loco)

In this video I prove that I am not only bad at landing hits on the biggest possible target we've seen so far, but also bad at pronouncing words! We talk about how much Mr. Puffles resembles some beloved cartoon felines. Also, some bandits die.

To answer the questions earlier, I'm trying to figure out why the quality got absolutely shredded in the first video -- not only did it not upload in 720p, but the quality drop from recording to YouTube was incredible, far more than I anticipated -- and hopefully that should be shored up a bit more by video 3.

(By the way, Imperials are currently leading Stormcloaks 15 to 9!)

Nov 7, 2013

No Pineapple?
No Thank You!


Smiting pronunciation bit


Feb 9, 2009

Young wild Elsweyrian
C'mon baby, do you have a soul gem

Highwang posted:


If people I talk to got a nickel for every time I mispronounced a word like that, I could have rejuvenated the entire US economy ages ago!

Mar 17, 2007

The fearsome warrior whose name will be spoken in hushed voices out of fear... and embarrassment.

Imperials, kill all the stormcloaks and spit hairballs on their corpses.

Sep 13, 2011

Voting Imperials. Send the stormcloaks to hell.

May 4, 2009

A portly feline wizard waddles forth, muttering something about conjured food.

mauman posted:

SPERG punchcat

This is the proper way to play Skyrim.

Apr 15, 2008

Absolutely Imperials. Stormcloaks can suck our cat toes.


Blue Labrador
Feb 17, 2011

~Breathe in Breathe Out~


Definitely go Stormcloak. One day, when Ulfric Stormcloak pats Mr. Puffles on the back, looks him in the eyes, and says "you're one of the good ones", that's all the vindication our proud kitty warrior will ever need.

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