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mailorder bees!

Sparkling
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http://mrjims.pizza/about_sci.cfm

i forgot how i found this, but i did

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Schrecken

Child of Woe


Who is willing to take one for the team and give MrJim their address to obtain a free copy of "The Way to Happiness"?

It would probably smell of misery and suffering. As well as pizza.

mailorder bees!

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they used to have commercials on tv here that featured a sentient dough mixer "doughby" alongside mr. jim himself.

who knows what evangelism doughby was subjected to behind the scenes

im waiting for doughby's tell-all memoir

Schrecken

Child of Woe


mailorder bees! posted:

they used to have commercials on tv here that featured a sentient dough mixer "doughby" alongside mr. jim himself.

who knows what evangelism doughby was subjected to behind the scenes

im waiting for doughby's tell-all memoir

I wonder if we will be more surprised or disappointed at the number of human parts used in the making of the pizza dough.

Yobgoblin

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS


scientology has science in it but the only math they do is counting their dirty money.

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Schrecken

Child of Woe


I heard that on every Sunday night at each MrJim franchise they force the employees to eat the left over stale pizza dough and watch Battlefield Earth with the commentary on.

mailorder bees!

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGcwCElWo64

i can only wonder what sordid happenings went on at that commercial set

Schrecken

Child of Woe


mailorder bees! posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGcwCElWo64

i can only wonder what sordid happenings went on at that commercial set

Anything and everything you can imagine. Any depraved act, every humiliating abuse of power and authority, the likes of which would sicken you and leave a dark stain on your immortal soul that will never go away.

mailorder bees!

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doughby tries to hide it, being the consummate professional he is, but it still comes through in his performance. this displeases mr jim.

mailorder bees!

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you can tell. appearing on camera with mr. jim is destroying doughby

Beefeater

I'm hungry.


Does he stuff scientology pamphlets in with his deliveries instead of a menu?

HighwireAct


Pozzo's Hat


this almost feels like the start of an ARG

Darkman Fanpage


people who put pineapple on pizza are considered suppressive persons

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Schrecken

Child of Woe


Darkman Fanpage posted:

people who put pineapple on pizza are considered suppressive persons

My pizza must consist of at least 20% pineapple.

Senior Management





Pineapple and pizza are good but remember to remove the tough outer skin before applying to pizza.



Quidthulhu

Stand down, men! It's only smooching!



not gonna lie reading all about this pizza makes me want to try mr. jim's pie

mailorder bees!

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Darkman Fanpage posted:

people who put pineapple on pizza are considered suppressive persons

doughby asked for it and didnt hear the end of it g r 3 days. really made that shoot super uncomfortable. theyd say cut and mr jim would just let loose on the poor mixer

FutonForensic



And remember, Mr. Jims pizza is a family business, proudly owned by me and my wife, Debra!

debra's dead, jim. she died in the fire you created trying to bake the first Pizza D'lish

drat you! wait... the fire was caused by the dough exploding... you put nitroglycerin in the dough! you killed debra! and now I'm gonna kill you!

*doughby whirs up his dough hooks and shuffles towards jim* of course it was the dough, jim. it was always the dough

mailorder bees!

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FutonForensic posted:

And remember, Mr. Jims pizza is a family business, proudly owned by me and my wife, Debra!

debra's dead, jim. she died in the fire you created trying to bake the first Pizza D'lish

drat you! wait... the fire was caused by the dough exploding... you put nitroglycerin in the dough! you killed debra! and now I'm gonna kill you!

*doughby whirs up his dough hooks and shuffles towards jim* of course it was the dough, jim. it was always the dough

mailorder bees!

Sparkling
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Pressure!


the long suffering mixer could only take so much

HighwireAct


Pozzo's Hat


FutonForensic posted:

And remember, Mr. Jims pizza is a family business, proudly owned by me and my wife, Debra!

debra's dead, jim. she died in the fire you created trying to bake the first Pizza D'lish

drat you! wait... the fire was caused by the dough exploding... you put nitroglycerin in the dough! you killed debra! and now I'm gonna kill you!

*doughby whirs up his dough hooks and shuffles towards jim* of course it was the dough, jim. it was always the dough

I got a delivery.
The name on the box said "Debra."
My wife's name...
It's ridiculous, couldn't possibly be true...
That's what I keep telling myself...
A dead person can't order pizza.
Debra died in that drat dough fire three years ago.
So then why am I looking for her?
Our "special sauce"...
What could she mean?
This whole pizza was smothered in our special sauce.
Does she mean the roasted garlic marinara by the crust?
We spent the whole day cooking that up.
Just the two of us, staring at the pizza oven.
Could Debra really be there?
Is she really alive... waiting for her pepperoni pie?

nvm no cake



i dont know anthing about all this scientology stuff, but if that's the secret to Mr. Jim's large sticky fingers pizza formula then count me in

Schrecken

Child of Woe


HighwireAct posted:

I got a delivery.
The name on the box said "Debra."
My wife's name...
It's ridiculous, couldn't possibly be true...
That's what I keep telling myself...
A dead person can't order pizza.
Debra died in that drat dough fire three years ago.
So then why am I looking for her?
Our "special sauce"...
What could she mean?
This whole pizza was smothered in our special sauce.
Does she mean the roasted garlic marinara by the crust?
We spent the whole day cooking that up.
Just the two of us, staring at the pizza oven.
Could Debra really be there?
Is she really alive... waiting for her pepperoni pie?


Thank you for taking away that awful pizza for me... but I wish you hadn't. Even doughby said it, I deserved it...
Don't pity me... my taste buds aren't worth it.
Or maybe, you think you can save them?
Will you roll the dough for me? Put all the toppings on for me? Bake all my pizza?
That's what i thought.
Give me back that pizza cutter.
No? Saving it for yourself?
You see it too?
For me... the pizza is always like this

Schrecken

Child of Woe


Schrecken

Child of Woe


nvm no cake



the scene where pyramidhead is doing inappropriate things to the mannequins except he's wearing a baker's hat and the mannequins are pizza dough

nvm no cake



HighwireAct


Pozzo's Hat


nvm no cake



Schrecken

Child of Woe


thepiratebae.se posted:

the scene where pyramidhead is doing inappropriate things to the mannequins except he's wearing a baker's hat and the mannequins are pizza dough

HighwireAct


Pozzo's Hat


Schrecken

Child of Woe



Darling, it looks like you got a little marinara sauce on your pretty face... oh well, I do love a woman who can cook.

Schrecken

Child of Woe


nvm no cake




yes, it's the crust indeed.

mailorder bees!

Sparkling
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HighwireAct


Pozzo's Hat




I'm not your Doughby.

Thunder Moose

S.J.C.

Cult of Pizzanality.

Cult of Pizzanality.



https://giant.gfycat.com/MeagerExal...danmalimbe.webm

mailorder bees!

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HighwireAct posted:



I'm not your Doughby.

d...doughby. are you ok???

Thunder Moose

S.J.C.

Cult of Pizzanalllllity.

:GUITARSOLO:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xxgRUyzgs0#t=67s



https://giant.gfycat.com/MeagerExal...danmalimbe.webm

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Thunder Moose

S.J.C.

Look in my eyes, what do you see?
The cult of pizzanality.
I know your hunger, I know your cheese.
I've been everything you wanna piiiii
Ho, I'm the cult of pizzanality.



https://giant.gfycat.com/MeagerExal...danmalimbe.webm

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