the scientology of pizza

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Schrecken: Child of Woe

Who is willing to take one for the team and give MrJim their address to obtain a free copy of "The Way to Happiness"?

It would probably smell of misery and suffering. As well as pizza.

# ¿ Aug 9, 2016 21:34

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# ¿ Apr 19, 2024 02:29

Schrecken: Child of Woe

mailorder bees! posted:

they used to have commercials on tv here that featured a sentient dough mixer "doughby" alongside mr. jim himself.

who knows what evangelism doughby was subjected to behind the scenes

im waiting for doughby's tell-all memoir

I wonder if we will be more surprised or disappointed at the number of human parts used in the making of the pizza dough.

# ¿ Aug 9, 2016 21:47

Schrecken: Child of Woe

I heard that on every Sunday night at each MrJim franchise they force the employees to eat the left over stale pizza dough and watch Battlefield Earth with the commentary on.

# ¿ Aug 9, 2016 21:56

Schrecken: Child of Woe

mailorder bees! posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGcwCElWo64

i can only wonder what sordid happenings went on at that commercial set

Anything and everything you can imagine. Any depraved act, every humiliating abuse of power and authority, the likes of which would sicken you and leave a dark stain on your immortal soul that will never go away.

# ¿ Aug 9, 2016 22:06

Schrecken: Child of Woe

Darkman Fanpage posted:

people who put pineapple on pizza are considered suppressive persons

My pizza must consist of at least 20% pineapple.

# ¿ Aug 10, 2016 00:35

Schrecken: Child of Woe

HighwireAct posted:

I got a delivery.
The name on the box said "Debra."
My wife's name...
It's ridiculous, couldn't possibly be true...
That's what I keep telling myself...
A dead person can't order pizza.
Debra died in that drat dough fire three years ago.
So then why am I looking for her?
Our "special sauce"...
What could she mean?
This whole pizza was smothered in our special sauce.
Does she mean the roasted garlic marinara by the crust?
We spent the whole day cooking that up.
Just the two of us, staring at the pizza oven.
Could Debra really be there?
Is she really alive... waiting for her pepperoni pie?

Thank you for taking away that awful pizza for me... but I wish you hadn't. Even doughby said it, I deserved it...
Don't pity me... my taste buds aren't worth it.
Or maybe, you think you can save them?
Will you roll the dough for me? Put all the toppings on for me? Bake all my pizza?
That's what i thought.
Give me back that pizza cutter.
No? Saving it for yourself?
You see it too?
For me... the pizza is always like this

# ¿ Aug 10, 2016 08:29