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texaholic
Sep 16, 2007

Well it's floodin' down in Texas
All of the telephone lines are down
I adopted a cat year ago and this saturday is her birthday. I am going to buy a bird at the pet store and let it loose, so my cat can stalk and kill a live bird. She loves watching birds through windows and does that jaw clicking thing cats do but she inside only because Houston is full of some shady motherfuckers and terrible drivers. What birds taste the best to cats?

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Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die
Nap Ghost
your cat secretly wants to be declawed as a birthday surprise

Dr. Yinz Ljubljana
Nov 25, 2013

I think the point is the cat wants to chase and catch the bird.

it's no fun if you just present the cat with a dead bird and go "tuck in, din din's on me!"

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

Geese

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

Sacrifice a toucan. Then when it's dead cook and serve it in it's own beak.

Elusif
Jun 9, 2008

get the cat a falcon or something

it desires honourable combat against a worthy foe

Linux Pirate
Apr 21, 2012


Put a sock over kitty's head for fun times!

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

Bring your cat to see Big Bird from sesame street (Clarence Spooney)

spud
Aug 27, 2003

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
I hope the bird kills your cat instead.

texaholic
Sep 16, 2007

Well it's floodin' down in Texas
All of the telephone lines are down

That sounds like a sweet battle, I will throw em both in the garage.

I used to work at restaurant with a wood burning grill and the mesquite wood would have scorpions in it sometime, the cooks would catch an american cockroach and make the cockroach fight the scropion. Only american cockroaches cuz those are the big nasty fuckers that can fly sometimes.

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

a hole-y ghost posted:

Bring your cat to see Big Bird from sesame street (Clarence Spooney)
That's a ban.

texaholic
Sep 16, 2007

Well it's floodin' down in Texas
All of the telephone lines are down

spud posted:

I hope the bird kills your cat instead.

gently caress you dude

That Robot
Sep 16, 2004

ask me anything about robots
Buglord

spud posted:

I hope the bird kills your cat instead.

eat cocks in hell

Linux Pirate
Apr 21, 2012


birds is dumb kitties is good

jarofpiss
May 16, 2009

ostrich

Maldoror
Oct 5, 2003

by R. Guyovich
Nap Ghost
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FB10nUpcMSw

texaholic
Sep 16, 2007

Well it's floodin' down in Texas
All of the telephone lines are down

pretty sure those can kill me but maybe I am thinking of kangaroos or something

idiotbitch
Jul 16, 2013
You adopted it you dont know when it was born so you can never celebrate its birthday

Linux Pirate
Apr 21, 2012


texaholic posted:

pretty sure those can kill me but maybe I am thinking of kangaroos or something

You are thinking of a cassowary

criscodisco
Feb 18, 2004

do it
I hit a rabbit once on the freeway and it's poor little dead body got stuck in my grill and later I saw a stray cat pulling it out in my driveway so it got dinner and I got a new cat.

Nooner
Mar 26, 2011

AN A+ OPSTER (:
The best gift you could get it would be to put it down so it doesn't have to live with you any more :sigh:

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die
Nap Ghost
that's quite a bold statement you've made there, nooner

Johnny Aztec
Jan 30, 2005

by Hand Knit

criscodisco posted:

I hit a rabbit once on the freeway and it's poor little dead body got stuck in my grill and later I saw a stray cat pulling it out in my driveway so it got dinner and I got a new cat.

Man, that's like the start of a RomCom.

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec
Have it kill a finch

penus penus penus
Nov 9, 2014

by piss__donald
They'll probably just become friends tbh

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec

THE DOG HOUSE posted:

They'll probably just become friends tbh

There are no friends in nature, only predator and prey. It's survival of the fittest, just like in futures speculation.

criscodisco
Feb 18, 2004

do it
No I saw a movie about a pug and a cat that fight bears together.

Instruction Manuel
May 15, 2007

Yes, it is what it looks like!

They are going to team up and plot your demise. Don't be fooled!

Alternative answer, why don't you get some catnip and watch your cat roll loving face for like an hour. :catdrugs:

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec

criscodisco posted:

No I saw a movie about a pug and a cat that fight bears together.

How many of those do you think they went thru while filming

social vegan
Nov 7, 2014



cool let the winner fight ur grandma

Masturbasturd
Sep 1, 2014
My cat insists that I keep the door cracked in case he gets scared, then he brings live things inside to play with. Birds, mice, snakes he brings em back live

criscodisco
Feb 18, 2004

do it

Champenema posted:

My cat insists that I keep the door cracked in case he gets scared, then he brings live things inside to play with. Birds, mice, snakes he brings em back live

There was this stray I used to feed and it would sometimes being me dead stuff then one day it brought me a live chipmunk and it dropped it at my feet and the poor thing ran up my pants leg like I was gonna save it but I freaked and did a panic dance and it flew off and the stray caught it and the chipmunk made terrible noises.

Tuxedo Gin
May 21, 2003

Classy.

i'm not a fan of cats

i'm a major fan of birds

birds are extremely my poo poo

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec
Cats bring you dead/alive things cause they think you're an idiot cat and they are trying to teach you how to hunt

criscodisco
Feb 18, 2004

do it
I've always known my cats looked down on me.

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

Tuxedo Gin posted:

i'm not a fan of cats

i'm a major fan of birds

birds are extremely my poo poo

i just found out that birds are the largest species of animals in the world by total number of birds. its literally about 3 birds for every chinaman.

r u ready to WALK
Sep 29, 2001

Get your cat a dog

Like a big mean Rottweiler so nobody will mess with them

Chief McHeath
Apr 23, 2002

Get like 50 bats instead and play weird sonar poo poo on your stereo so the bats freak out then your cat gets to kill 50 insane bats.

Maybe like some dragonflies for the bats to freak out about too.

Yeah now we're talking.

naem
May 29, 2011

Hector Beerlioz posted:

Cats bring you dead/alive things cause they think you're an idiot cat and they are trying to teach you how to hunt

I think cats think we're giant magical cats who somehow get meat from a can

They're like wait, what, haha how did, meat? again??

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Hogge Wild
Aug 21, 2012

by FactsAreUseless
Pillbug

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