Driving To Phoenix Today

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Driving To Phoenix Today

Chinatown: Sep 11, 2001; by Fluffdaddy; Fun Shoe

For work. I have a meeting tomorrow morning. The drive will be 5 hours of looking at dirt and scrub brush whiz by. I will be staying in a nondescript hotel in a nondescript area of a completely dumb and retarded city that should not exist.

Phoenix is literally hell's waiting room and filled with old white people who are surely going there. I hope everyone dies.

God Bless.

# ? Aug 15, 2016 18:36

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 25, 2024 18:31

Nolan Arenado: May 8, 2009

DIdn't I tell you to go to a Suns game last time you did this or was that someone else?

Anyway, you should go to a Diamondbacks game.

# ? Aug 15, 2016 18:38

ClamdestineBoyster: Aug 15, 2015; Can't post for 10 years!

Sedona is purdy tho. :clint:

# ? Aug 15, 2016 18:38

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

OctoberBlues posted:

DIdn't I tell you to go to a Suns game last time you did this or was that someone else?

Anyway, you should go to a Diamondbacks game.

i like whe nthe announcers call them the d-backs cause it sounds kinda like d-bags

# ? Aug 15, 2016 18:38

Kuato: Feb 25, 2005; "I CAN'T BELIEVE I ATE THE WHOLE THING"; Buglord

There's a lot of beautiful women there FWIW (I'm a fugly loser so its literally worth nothing to me). I'm from the "great" northwest, our women are disgusting up here IMO. And the men too of course.

# ? Aug 15, 2016 18:38

Nolan Arenado: May 8, 2009

Nooner posted:

i like whe nthe announcers call them the d-backs cause it sounds kinda like d-bags

I agree 100%

# ? Aug 15, 2016 18:39

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

score some hawt phoenix poontang

# ? Aug 15, 2016 18:39

Chinatown: Sep 11, 2001; by Fluffdaddy; Fun Shoe

OctoberBlues posted:

DIdn't I tell you to go to a Suns game last time you did this or was that someone else?

Anyway, you should go to a Diamondbacks game.

Yes sadly I do not have time for recreation other than walking 2 blocks to a mediocre sports bar tonight and eating a cobb salad or hamburger with my blue moon beer and then going to my room and watching ESPN until i pass out.

# ? Aug 15, 2016 18:40

Cartouche: Jan 4, 2011

Chinatown posted:

For work. I have a meeting tomorrow morning. The drive will be 5 hours of looking at dirt and scrub brush whiz by. I will be staying in a nondescript hotel in a nondescript area of a completely dumb and retarded city that should not exist.

Phoenix is literally hell's waiting room and filled with old white people who are surely going there. I hope everyone dies.

God Bless.

I appreciate that you create a thread about it each time you make this trip.

# ? Aug 15, 2016 18:44

Chinatown: Sep 11, 2001; by Fluffdaddy; Fun Shoe

Cartouche posted:

I appreciate that you create a thread about it each time you make this trip.

Thanks I enjoy letting you take a brief look into my bland, inconsequential existence.

# ? Aug 15, 2016 18:45

Nolan Arenado: May 8, 2009

I look forward to you making the trip in the fall/winter so I can tell you to go to a Cardinals game.

# ? Aug 15, 2016 18:46

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

lol a blue moon? eat poo poo rear end in a top hat

# ? Aug 15, 2016 18:46

Chinatown: Sep 11, 2001; by Fluffdaddy; Fun Shoe

Nooner posted:

lol a blue moon? eat poo poo rear end in a top hat

ipas can suck poo poo

# ? Aug 15, 2016 18:46

Hector Beerlioz: Jun 16, 2010; aw, hec

Watch out for Doomhauer, op

# ? Aug 15, 2016 18:48

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

Chinatown posted:

ipas can suck poo poo

you dont deserve to live in SD ):<

# ? Aug 15, 2016 18:47

Theophany: Jul 22, 2014; SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO

2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

Chinatown posted:

Yes sadly I do not have time for recreation other than walking 2 blocks to a mediocre sports bar tonight and eating a cobb salad or hamburger with my blue moon beer and then going to my room and watching ESPN until i pass out.

Skip the walking two blocks poo poo and just get wrecked. It's how I deal with business trips to shithole places.

# ? Aug 15, 2016 18:50

Mozi: Apr 4, 2004; Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die; Nap Ghost

perhaps it is only in the desert that your posting career can be reborn from its ashes

# ? Aug 15, 2016 18:50

Nolan Arenado: May 8, 2009

Theophany posted:

Skip the walking two blocks poo poo and just get wrecked. It's how I deal with business trips to shithole places.

I had to go to Maine once and the walmart near my hotel sold some kind of malt liquor that was 24 oz and 10% abv for 99 cents. It was quite a week of training...

# ? Aug 15, 2016 18:51

BrutalistMcDonalds: Oct 4, 2012; Lipstick Apathy

Chinatown posted:

Yes sadly I do not have time for recreation other than walking 2 blocks to a mediocre sports bar tonight and eating a cobb salad or hamburger with my blue moon beer and then going to my room and watching ESPN until i pass out.

this is what i do every night except i don't watch ESPN but Star Trek: The Next Generation

# ? Aug 15, 2016 18:52

Chinatown: Sep 11, 2001; by Fluffdaddy; Fun Shoe

Nooner posted:

you dont deserve to live in SD ):<

# ? Aug 15, 2016 18:53

lizardman: Jun 30, 2007; by R. Guyovich

Good lord does Phoenix get a bad rap around SA. If you can stand the heat (and I can understand if a lot of folks can't) there's honestly not a lot to complain about. It's basically Los Angeles if you've made it a bit more boring in exchange for being cleaner, safer, with smooth roads and neverending sunshine.

There's truth to the whole "it has no culture" thing but I honestly like living in a "neutral" space. I can appreciate culture when I travel. *shrugs*

VVVVVVVVVVVVVV I'm sorry but it's the truth, dude. Los Angeles is just a more obnoxious Phoenix with lovely roads and a truly awful international airport. It's more interesting, though, I'll give you that.

lizardman fucked around with this message at 18:59 on Aug 15, 2016

# ? Aug 15, 2016 18:53

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

lizardman posted:

Good lord does Phoenix get a bad rap around SA. If you can stand the heat (and I can understand if a lot of folks can't) there's honestly not a lot to complain about. It's basically Los Angeles if you've made it a bit more boring in exchange for being cleaner, safer, with smooth roads and neverending sunshine.

There's truth to the whole "it has no culture" thing but I honestly like living in a "neutral" space. I can appreciate culture when I travel. *shrugs*

GTFO and dont you ever compare my city to fuckign phoenix again lol you drat turd

# ? Aug 15, 2016 18:55

Hector Beerlioz: Jun 16, 2010; aw, hec

Nooner posted:

GTFO and dont you ever compare my city to fuckign phoenix again lol you drat turd

Hey nooner I heard LA is just a lovely Phoenix with crime as it's culture

# ? Aug 15, 2016 18:58

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

Hector Beerlioz posted:

Hey nooner I heard LA is just a lovely Phoenix with crime as it's culture

dont do this to me hector, I like you..........

# ? Aug 15, 2016 18:59

down n out: Sep 16, 2008; Nap Ghost

Phoenix is great if you are a rich white guy. So much golf, cocaine, and asian massage parlors.

# ? Aug 15, 2016 18:59

Nolan Arenado: May 8, 2009

Hector Beerlioz posted:

Hey nooner I heard LA is just a lovely Phoenix with crime as it's culture

# ? Aug 15, 2016 18:59

CubeTheory: Mar 26, 2010; Cube Reversal

Find out if Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix is better than United. I can't decide.

# ? Aug 15, 2016 18:59

Hector Beerlioz: Jun 16, 2010; aw, hec

Nooner posted:

dont do this to me hector, I like you..........

Come move to DC and live in a real city, you can sleep on my trundle bed

# ? Aug 15, 2016 19:00

Nolan Arenado: May 8, 2009

WHy do you have a trundle bed anyway?

# ? Aug 15, 2016 19:02

Hector Beerlioz: Jun 16, 2010; aw, hec

It was free

# ? Aug 15, 2016 19:03

Theophany: Jul 22, 2014; SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO

2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

OctoberBlues posted:

I had to go to Maine once and the walmart near my hotel sold some kind of malt liquor that was 24 oz and 10% abv for 99 cents. It was quite a week of training...

That sounds glorious. I wish our Walmarts (Asda, UK sucks hard) were even remotely that accommodating to the needs of travelling businessmen.

# ? Aug 15, 2016 19:09

Decebal: Jan 6, 2010

Chinatown posted:

For work. I have a meeting tomorrow morning. The drive will be 5 hours of looking at dirt and scrub brush whiz by. I will be staying in a nondescript hotel in a nondescript area of a completely dumb and retarded city that should not exist.

Phoenix is literally hell's waiting room and filled with old white people who are surely going there. I hope everyone dies.

God Bless.

If you ask around for some heroin you'll think it's the best hotel with the best view. Take control of your happiness.

# ? Aug 15, 2016 19:10

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

good luck don't get Arpaio'd

# ? Aug 15, 2016 19:10

Aschlafly: Jan 5, 2004; I identify as smart.
(But that doesn't make it so...)

Phoenix is poo poo. The only people who move to Phoenix voluntarily are the ones who visit and "love the weather", except they don't. They love the fact that it doesn't snow, but otherwise they hate the weather. Hence why they spend every waking hour in air conditioned buildings, or in the shade with misters running, or in a loving pool. They've inverted the natural order of things from "it's cold, seek heat to avoid dying of hypothermia" to "it's warm, let's run a heat engine in reverse so that it's bearable", and they waste water wantonly in the middle of a desert. Also, golf. Well-kept fields of grass and desert climate mix about as well as chocolate and pickles. The traffic is poo poo, too. The entire area is a collective delusion clusterfuck that, like any bubble, will eventually rupture under its own weight, a paean to urban and suburban excess: its ugly houses will serve as a cautionary tale, the fossil record of a million forgotten fiefdoms. I guess the streaming sunlight is nice if you don't mind skin cancer and premature aging. Kick out the whiteys (remove mayo?), return it to the natives who actually knew how to survive in a desert (in some way other than "pretend it's southern California and hope no one notices"), let the urban heat islands slowly waste away and be swallowed by the dust and shrubbery. Then Phoenix might once again be a nice place to visit.

Source: lived in the Phoenix area for ten years but no I don't have any resentment about it at all, why on earth would you think that

# ? Aug 15, 2016 19:14

Chinatown: Sep 11, 2001; by Fluffdaddy; Fun Shoe

Hector Beerlioz posted:

Hey nooner I heard LA is just a lovely Phoenix with crime as it's culture

listen bruv LA sucks but its not even remotely as bad as phoenix

# ? Aug 15, 2016 19:15

Chinatown: Sep 11, 2001; by Fluffdaddy; Fun Shoe

Update:

code:

High pollution advisory for Maricopa County including the greater
Phoenix area through Tuesday... 

The Arizona department of environmental quality in Phoenix has
extended an ozone high pollution advisory for the greater Phoenix
area through Tuesday.

This means that forecast weather conditions combined with existing
ozone levels are expected to result in local maximum 8-hour ozone
concentrations that pose a health risk. Adverse health effects
increase as air quality deteriorates.

Ozone is an air contaminant which can cause breathing difficulties
for children as well as persons with respiratory problems. A decrease
in physical activity is recommended.

# ? Aug 15, 2016 19:22

el B: Jan 30, 2004; holler.

Do the hookers still hang out on VanBuren?

# ? Aug 15, 2016 19:26

Nolan Arenado: May 8, 2009

el B posted:

Do the hookers still hang out on VanBuren?

Maybe you should ask your mom. :grin:

# ? Aug 15, 2016 19:27

Aschlafly: Jan 5, 2004; I identify as smart.
(But that doesn't make it so...)

Air pollution in an area that is so hot, so poorly planned, so congested, and has such lovely public transportation that you are doomed to spend endless hours in traffic just to get from your unsustainable sprawlburg to any place where something fun happens, what a surprise!

# ? Aug 15, 2016 19:27

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 25, 2024 18:31

RVWinkle: Aug 24, 2004; In relating the circumstances which have led to my confinement within this refuge for the demented, I am aware that my present position will create a natural doubt of the authenticity of my narrative.; Nap Ghost

I really like Phoenix, especially that giant skyscraper that looks like a taco.

# ? Aug 15, 2016 19:30

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Driving To Phoenix Today

«‹›3 »