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simple
Apr 11, 2007

paul_soccer10 posted:

can someone tell me the funny timestamps of that 6 minute interview video

at 2:55 where the news feed reads "up to 15 killed in west Texas..."

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OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc
more like ryan loctite am i rite?

polysynth
Dec 12, 2006

rock out

Serious Frolicking posted:

yeah why would someone maybe call their loved ones after being balls deep in a transexual prostitute in a strange country HOW STRANGE


:goonsay:

hahah

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

Goons forced to either believe police or athletes. I can hear the moral compasses spinning.

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

Gaunab posted:

uhh, have you guys thought that maybe the corrupt brazilian police are trying to make themselves look better by framing this american hero? have you?

this is most assuredly what is happening imo

i mean do you not remember this just happening:

http://www.smh.com.au/sport/olympic...728-gqg92x.html

quote:

Kidnapped New Zealand-born athlete Jason Lee and his partner are now safe in Toronto after a harrowing week in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. Two military police officers kidnapped Lee over the weekend, forcing him into an unmarked car and making him extract 2000 Reais ($812) from ATMs.

Police from the same branch then visited his apartment in what he described as an attempt to intimidate him. Two officers have since been taken into custody.

In their first interview since leaving Brazil, Lee and his partner, journalist Laura McQuillan, revealed what sent them packing so fast - a second visit to their home. "The second time they arrived, in the middle of the night, they had a document that confirmed our fears that information had been passed from the civil police to the military police. It basically confirmed our address had been passed on.

"After the first visit from the police we immediately began to talk about whether leaving was the best option. Once we had the second visit there was no other course of action."

i mean bro like when the police are doing 'quickie' kidnappings on people and then intimidating them into silence a month ago what am I supposed to think now?



no one has given any compelling reason that the athlete would lie either, other than 'hiding tranny sex from his mom' (why couldn't he just say I went out with friends?) or 'he's dumb haha.'

pop fly to McGillicutty
Feb 2, 2004

A peckish little mouse!
Lyan Cockmeat

Nefarious 2.0
Apr 22, 2008

Offense is overrated anyway.

i freakin hate it when the police rob me at gunpoint and take my money but let me keep my credentials and then force me and my friends to give multiple differing accounts of what happened and also omit the fact that i wrecked a gas station

drat federales

NigelsPoppet
Jul 22, 2015
He was obviously lying because he claims to have said no when they asked for his poo poo and they didn't shoot him / stab him to death in the street

haven't you guys ever been on Liveleak

Madcosby
Mar 4, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
Ap reporting that Lochte was lying

other swimmers ratted him out

after trashing a gas station bathroom, they encoutnered a gas station security guard, who asked them to leave.

Ryan calls mom and tells her the cops mugged him

Madcosby
Mar 4, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
he is very, very dumb

not for lying

i mean, in all aspects

Shinjobi
Jul 10, 2008


Gravy Boat 2k
Lochte was always going to be forgotten due to the dominance of Michael Phelps, so maybe this is just his way of making sure his name remains in US Olympic lore for years to come.


Gotta make your legend somehow.

Madcosby
Mar 4, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
the only way id believe lockte now is if the kids in brazil claim their confession was coerced

#istandwithlochte

Howard Beale
Feb 22, 2001

It's like this, Peanut
I hear he got as far as "RYAN LOC" on the wall before the guard showed up

Lastgirl
Sep 7, 1997


Good Morning!
Sunday Morning!
RY LOC

old beast lunatic
Nov 3, 2004

by Hand Knit
It was fun watching female friends notice this hot swimmer guy during the last olympics then recoil in horror in slow motion as they realized how profoundly stupid this man is.

a new study bible!
Feb 2, 2009



BIG DICK NICK
A Philadelphia Legend
Fly Eagles Fly


More like

Lyin Cockeat (when he gets sent to Brazilian prison)

lol

Madcosby
Mar 4, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

InterFaced posted:

It was fun watching female friends notice this hot swimmer guy during the last olympics then recoil in horror in slow motion as they realized how profoundly stupid this man is.

I had never heard of him until this story broke, and then I saw this

935 posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnceMoPtVfE

Ryan Lochte is dumb as a sack of rocks, of course he would lie about this as a joke.


I know everything there is to know about this guy

ps those tv reporters are my new heroes

Justin Tyme
Feb 22, 2011


ryan lochte swims so fast the friction of the water on his head heats his skull up just enough to do a little bit of brain damage

gohmak
Feb 12, 2004
cookies need love
So my guess is the security guards shook him down for the property damage so he lied to mommy who handles his finances to wire more hooker, boos and blow money.

Chumbawumba4ever97
Dec 31, 2000

by Fluffdaddy
I saw on TV they supposedly pissed all over a gas station or something

CAPTAIN CAPSLOCK
Sep 11, 2001



935 posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnceMoPtVfE

Ryan Lochte is dumb as a sack of rocks, of course he would lie about this as a joke.

I'm more impressed they all didn't die in a freak gasoline fight accident

WhyteRyce
Dec 30, 2001

Madcosby posted:


ps those tv reporters are my new heroes

I like how the guy is like "yeah we are getting into trouble for this" and they still keep at it

8-Bit Scholar
Jan 23, 2016

by FactsAreUseless
So the Brazillian authorities, known for their trustworthiness, now say that these Olympic athletes were vandalizing a gas station and were not robbed.

Naturally, I believe them on face value because a police officer wouldn't lie.

WhyteRyce
Dec 30, 2001

NY Post continuing to do god's work

https://twitter.com/nypost/status/766383550421667845

Ork of Fiction
Jul 22, 2013
So a guy with a gun, who was posing as a cop, took all his money. = He vandalized a gas station and he bribed the security guard who caught him.

Sounds about right.

pop fly to McGillicutty
Feb 2, 2004

A peckish little mouse!
Rio Locktme

kindermord
Jun 5, 2003
ducks is chickens with swimmy toes

Ork of Fiction posted:

So a guy with a gun, who was posing as a cop, took all his money. = He vandalized a gas station and he bribed the security guard who caught him.

Sounds about right.

a guy in a uniform with a gun did take his money. If a security guard shook somebody down for 'damages' in the US ppl would flip their poo poo, but apparently this is being defended as reasonable because that's how they do it in Rio.

WhyteRyce
Dec 30, 2001

kindermord posted:

a guy in a uniform with a gun did take his money. If a security guard shook somebody down for 'damages' in the US ppl would flip their poo poo, but apparently this is being defended as reasonable because that's how they do it in Rio.

I watched an episode of Campus PD where some drunk idiot college kid damaged some printed taxi cab fare sign in Cancun or some other Mexican spring break town. The cop told him he'd have to pay for it and asked the taxi drivers how much the cheap looking thing cost. One said $200 without a second of calculating or thought. The police then just told the kid over and over again he'd have to pay it or he'd go to jail. The kid was extremely :smith: but had no money and eventually some other American came by and paid for it so the kid didn't have to go to some Mexican jail and stay locked up until they were able to shake down his parents.

So it's not just a Rio thing.

WhyteRyce fucked around with this message at 00:22 on Aug 19, 2016

Harrower
Nov 30, 2002
Did he trash the rest room with an Olympic caliber poo poo? I need to know.

Nooner
Mar 26, 2011

AN A+ OPSTER (:
I heard that his mom hosed a dolphin and got pregnant and thats why he swims so good but has much less intelligence than a normal man :confused:

Filthy Hans
Jun 27, 2008

by Fluffdaddy

(and can't post for 11 years!)

gohmak posted:

So my guess is the security guards shook him down for the property damage so he lied to mommy who handles his finances to wire more hooker, boos and blow money.

I think you nailed it


I didn't know anything about Lochte until this Olympics, and the first thing I heard about him was he was best bros and roomies with Phelps and I thought "oh, he must be a stupid rear end in a top hat too" and whelp

etalian
Mar 20, 2006

Filthy Hans posted:

I think you nailed it


I didn't know anything about Lochte until this Olympics, and the first thing I heard about him was he was best bros and roomies with Phelps and I thought "oh, he must be a stupid rear end in a top hat too" and whelp

He basically has the body of a greek god while being dumb as a box of bricks.

whoflungpoop
Sep 9, 2004

With you and the constellations
young dumb and full of chlorine

spud
Aug 27, 2003

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
I'd believe this more if OP wasn't a 2016 professional swimmer re-reg just for the 2016 Olympics!!

Nill
Aug 24, 2003

Kinda funny how, as the lawyers push to indict, the Rio Olympic committee is now trying to get in front of this mess and request leniency after realizing they're broadcasting to the world that something your mom posts on social media can get you thrown in Brazilian prison.

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

Nill posted:

something your mom posts on social media can get you thrown in Brazilian prison.

ah Rio


so did this guy beeline to the US embassy or what bc if he didn't he's a dumbass

Nill
Aug 24, 2003

Moridin920 posted:

ah Rio


so did this guy beeline to the US embassy or what bc if he didn't he's a dumbass
Lochte went home a day before this poo poo blew up since all his events were over.
Rio had to satisfy themselves with yanking two other guys off their flight and detaining them, despite not being named in the judge's order, til they confessed to the heinous crime of sitting in a taxi while Lochte pissed on a gas station.

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
lmao loving brazil

crabcakes66
May 24, 2012

by exmarx
TIL: The tradeoff for being an awesome swimmer is that you also have to be mentally handicapped.

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gimme the GOD DAMN candy
Jul 1, 2007
i dont see why an olympic athlete in his physical prime with a gold medal had to pee all over a seedy gas station when he could have stayed in his hotel room and peed in his toilet

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