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Do a Win+D before you do a Win+L, because you never know who's looking over your shoulder when you unlock your computer, and you may or may not want them to see what you were doing.
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Aug 18, 2016 18:44
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Create a thread on the SA forums about workhacks and then get fired for it so that you no longer have to work.
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Aug 18, 2016 19:11
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tear out a large handful of your pubes and sprinkle them all over the toilet seat in the large retard stall in the bathroom so no one else uses it and it's always available whenever you need to poop/do drugs/nap at work
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Aug 18, 2016 20:36
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So should I really be looking at SA at work ever? I assume that because I work for a giant tech company they have a keylogger on my laptop and every time I post in gbs I'm just one step closer to getting shitcanned.
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Aug 19, 2016 05:37
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Why cookie Rocket posted:So should I really be looking at SA at work ever? I assume that because I work for a giant tech company they have a keylogger on my laptop and every time I post in gbs I'm just one step closer to getting shitcanned. just use ur phone bro
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Aug 19, 2016 05:49
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and dont get on the wifi, just use your data. you can possibly be posting so much gbs that youd run out of data would you?
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Aug 19, 2016 05:49
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kill your boss
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Aug 19, 2016 06:07
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CANNIBAL GIRLS posted:just use ur phone bro No I do I just get tired of craning my neck.
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Aug 19, 2016 06:29
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I got to choose the layout for the new office for me and by boss. Conveniently my desk ended up on a spot where no one can see what's on my screen from any angle. Then I just furrow my brow, clack on the keys occasionally, and people think I'm really working hard at my desk. The illusion is so good that someone mentioned that they thought I was browsing the web at work, and they got in trouble for daring to malign my tireless work ethic.
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Aug 19, 2016 06:29
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Eat other peoples food in the office fridge.
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Aug 19, 2016 08:00
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Work from home and play computer games all day.
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Aug 19, 2016 08:09
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bill clients for sending emails to your coworkers about the monster dump i just took it was like somebody dropped a football in there I swear to god bro ahbahaaahaha
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Aug 19, 2016 08:11
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Apply for reimbursement for the same travel expenses from multiple sources. This one weird trick will give you lots of bonus money that you can save for when you get caught+fired.
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Aug 19, 2016 08:14
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Boss makes a dollar I make a dime Thats why i poop on company time
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Aug 19, 2016 08:59
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Just act annoyed all the time and no one will bother you.
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Aug 19, 2016 09:02
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Kang Wang posted:I never understood oral sex. Like when you talk to someone who has had it it seems like its the only thing they ever talk about. I don't ever want to be put in a position where I'm made to denigrate myself or make some whom I may or may not stay with forever have to live with a decision made for a moment of momentary release. You have a big mouth. Ask your boss if he has a big ol' donkey dick.
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Aug 19, 2016 12:51
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Piso Mojado posted:kill your boss make it look like an accident
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Aug 19, 2016 13:03
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system protocol posted:Eat other peoples food in the office fridge. how original
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Aug 19, 2016 16:36
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eat raw ingredients from the walkin for your lunch, save money
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Aug 19, 2016 16:58
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Stuntman posted:eat raw ingredients from the walkin for your lunch, save money just eat the chunks out of the chinoise when you make the gravy, then the trimmings from the cake and you have a full meal
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Aug 19, 2016 16:59
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say you just need to dip out for a pack of smokes but actually just leave for the day
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Aug 19, 2016 17:09
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ThePeavstenator posted:2) Use your lunch hour to work out, run errands, etc and than eat "while working at your desk" afterwards. It used to piss me off to no end that I'm expected to "combo" eating and working in front of a computer, while my colleagues can take their multiple 10-15 minute smoke breaks a day and no one would give a rat's rear end about it.
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Aug 19, 2016 17:12
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Captain Video posted:It used to piss me off to no end that I'm expected to "combo" eating and working in front of a computer, while my colleagues can take their multiple 10-15 minute smoke breaks a day that no one gave a rat's rear end about. this website is my smoke break and it's more like i take 10-15 minute breaks from here to do actual work
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Aug 19, 2016 17:13
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Captain Video posted:It used to piss me off to no end that I'm expected to "combo" eating and working in front of a computer, while my colleagues can take their multiple 10-15 minute smoke breaks a day and no one would give a rat's rear end about it.
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Aug 19, 2016 17:19
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Instead of locking your screen just turn off your display and set lync to wait 30 minutes before showing you as away. Take hour and a half lunch break where you cry in your car or put a gun in your mouth until the shaking stops.
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Aug 19, 2016 17:52
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sell drugs to your boss at least once and make sure the implicit threat of diming him out about it stays in the back of his mind whenever he tries to give you a bunch of poo poo about all this work bullshit he is always yammering on about...i mean gently caress an A "blah blah blah blah timesheets blah" i wish someone would just punch that guy in the teeth sometimes
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Aug 19, 2016 17:59
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dick wizard posted:Instead of locking your screen just turn off your display and set lync to wait 30 minutes before showing you as away. Take hour and a half lunch break where you cry in your car or put a gun in your mouth until the shaking stops. just set lync to never be away ??? profit
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Aug 19, 2016 18:17
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uninstall lync and use slack/hipchat like a real computer toucher
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Aug 19, 2016 18:59
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take long naps on the shitter, saves your free time for partying plus the toilet seat is more comfortable than you think
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Aug 19, 2016 19:25
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Flesh Forge posted:take long naps on the shitter, saves your free time for partying plus the toilet seat is more comfortable than you think my desk chair is very comfy i think maybe i'll close my door and put on a youtube that sounds like a conference call
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Aug 19, 2016 19:27
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use sticky notes instead of clothes, it saves so much drat money protip: you only need to cover your messy parts!
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Aug 19, 2016 19:35
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that annoying coworker who gloms onto you for no reason and only ever complains about work? loving tell them how much they suck they WILL stop going to the break room and have all their meals at their desk behind you if you can deal with their piercing stares of hate it's all good did it and never looked back since
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Aug 19, 2016 19:36
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Set your dick on fire for a way to destroy your dick.
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Aug 19, 2016 19:36
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Mine bitcoins on all the work computers and use the weird computer money to buy drugs!
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Aug 19, 2016 19:45
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my work wont let me take smoke breaks 
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Aug 19, 2016 19:47
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Bring your A game to the office everyday and always give 100%
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Aug 19, 2016 19:48
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-S- posted:my work wont let me take smoke breaks start vaping
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Aug 19, 2016 19:56
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psychokitty posted:start vaping for one nation, under smoke, with sick clouds and high-tech smoking equipment for all
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Aug 19, 2016 19:58
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Get depressed, feel weak and tired and dwell on things. Leave an hour early for "feeling like crap"
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Aug 19, 2016 20:14
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-S- posted:my work wont let me take smoke breaks get hooked on snus. its the bestr
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Aug 19, 2016 20:29
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